Dragon Laffs #1670


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Good Morning Campers,

Thanksgiving is over, Christmas is coming.

I love this time of year.

I hate this time of year.

I know a lot of you feel the same way.

Let’s laugh!

392

LIFE
Is too short for fake butter, cheese, or people.

393

If your phone battery lasts you all day, it’s because no one likes you.

394

OJ Simpson was asked if he might ever get married again.  He said: I might take another stab at it.

395

If cursing like a motherfucker burned calories, I’d weigh like eight fucking pounds.

396

Yup, I cook all the time.  I can answer that.  2 cups.

I was going to post about my afternoon run but I was autocorrected to afternoon rum so, change of plans.

397

2a

398

Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. 
I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar use to make?
Now I’m blocked.

399

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired Lottery Winner.

400

I’m old enough to remember when paper bags were blamed for the destruction of millions of trees, plastic bags were the solution!

401

Women’s magazine:

Page 9: How to lose weight fast.

Page 10: You’re beautiful the way you are.

Page 11: Cake recipe.

402

Saw a store that has a sign that reads, “We treat you like family!”

Yup, NOT going in there.

403

I just saw three people jogging outside and it inspired me to get up and close the blinds.

404

Actually, growing up in my house I think it was the other way around.

I’m so glad I learned about parallelograms in High School Math instead of how to do my Income Taxes.  It comes in so handy during Parallelogram Season.

405

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class. He was asked to spell “cultivate,” and he spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: “Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.”

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4a

4b

4c

People seem to be far more concerned with the song ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ than they are about people who are actually outside in the cold.

 

4d

4e

4h

407

Whenever I am with my family and someone says, “Wow, you have a beautiful family!” I reply, “Well, we left the ugly ones at home.”

408

Okay, first of all, let’s do these…

Motivate

Amityville Pet Shelter

Amnesia

Amphibious Attack Tigers

An Absolute Angel

Ancient

Ancient_History

And then

and yet

Android

Angry Birds

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And now let’s do some of these, because…I was going to do a huge Christmas issue and I still probably will, but I realized that I have so much Christmas stuff that if I don’t start using some of it now, I won’t get through it, so without further ado…..here begins

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May that be as true in your home as it will be in my warm and humble cavern.

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Okay ladies, form a single line and don’t push, you can all get a chance to kiss the dragon under the mistletoe.

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And that my dear friends, is that.  At least for this week.  It’s late, I have 3 classes 67374963_1291353445_08to teach this weekend, one meeting to conduct, and an inspection to give.  So, while you are reading this and laughing, give a tiny hug in your heart for the poor dragon who is draggin’ his ass.

Love you all.

Until next week.  Be good little girls and boys and Santa Dragon will be sure to leave you something special in your stocking.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1670

  1. Leah D. says:

    Oh man you are under the gun! and here I was, patting myself on the back because I got 12 presents wrapped yesterday.

  2. Patrick Clark says:

    I love your posts have been a fan since #100.
    I was very surprised on 12/7/2019 that no reference was made to Pearl Harbor this year!
    God bless you and yours this wonderful season and thank you for all the laughs over the years.

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