Dragon Laffs #1670

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Good Morning Campers,

Thanksgiving is over, Christmas is coming.

I love this time of year.

I hate this time of year.

I know a lot of you feel the same way.

Let’s laugh!


Is too short for fake butter, cheese, or people.


If your phone battery lasts you all day, it’s because no one likes you.


OJ Simpson was asked if he might ever get married again.  He said: I might take another stab at it.


If cursing like a motherfucker burned calories, I’d weigh like eight fucking pounds.


Yup, I cook all the time.  I can answer that.  2 cups.

I was going to post about my afternoon run but I was autocorrected to afternoon rum so, change of plans.




Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. 
I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar use to make?
Now I’m blocked.


When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired Lottery Winner.


I’m old enough to remember when paper bags were blamed for the destruction of millions of trees, plastic bags were the solution!


Women’s magazine:

Page 9: How to lose weight fast.

Page 10: You’re beautiful the way you are.

Page 11: Cake recipe.


Saw a store that has a sign that reads, “We treat you like family!”

Yup, NOT going in there.


I just saw three people jogging outside and it inspired me to get up and close the blinds.


Actually, growing up in my house I think it was the other way around.

I’m so glad I learned about parallelograms in High School Math instead of how to do my Income Taxes.  It comes in so handy during Parallelogram Season.


Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class. He was asked to spell “cultivate,” and he spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: “Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.”






People seem to be far more concerned with the song ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ than they are about people who are actually outside in the cold.






Whenever I am with my family and someone says, “Wow, you have a beautiful family!” I reply, “Well, we left the ugly ones at home.”


Okay, first of all, let’s do these…


Amityville Pet Shelter


Amphibious Attack Tigers

An Absolute Angel



And then

and yet


Angry Birds


And now let’s do some of these, because…I was going to do a huge Christmas issue and I still probably will, but I realized that I have so much Christmas stuff that if I don’t start using some of it now, I won’t get through it, so without further ado…..here begins
























May that be as true in your home as it will be in my warm and humble cavern.






Okay ladies, form a single line and don’t push, you can all get a chance to kiss the dragon under the mistletoe.


And that my dear friends, is that.  At least for this week.  It’s late, I have 3 classes 67374963_1291353445_08to teach this weekend, one meeting to conduct, and an inspection to give.  So, while you are reading this and laughing, give a tiny hug in your heart for the poor dragon who is draggin’ his ass.

Love you all.

Until next week.  Be good little girls and boys and Santa Dragon will be sure to leave you something special in your stocking.


Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1670

  1. Leah D. says:

    Oh man you are under the gun! and here I was, patting myself on the back because I got 12 presents wrapped yesterday.

  2. Patrick Clark says:

    I love your posts have been a fan since #100.
    I was very surprised on 12/7/2019 that no reference was made to Pearl Harbor this year!
    God bless you and yours this wonderful season and thank you for all the laughs over the years.

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