Dragon Laffs #1601


funnies only

Good Morning Campers,

Last Saturday, at one of our regular Saturday Tournaments, I set a personal goal that I’ve had for a LONG time.  Many other darters have reached this goal, but for me, it was a first…ever.

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I had my first ever Ton-Eighty!  Let me explain what that means.  In darts, 100 points is called a Ton.  The highest space on the board is the twenty wedge and the highest part of the twenty wedge is the triple. Right here:

When you hit that little-bitty spot it’s worth twenty times three or sixty points.  When you hit it three times, it’s worth one hundred-eighty points.  The highest score on the board.  Even higher than hitting that little red dot in the middle, which is the double bulls eye.  The green ring is the bulls eye.  The bulls eye is worth twenty-five points, therefore, the double bulls eye (or double bull) is worth fifty points.  If you can manager to smash all three darts into that little red dot, which has been done before, although never by me, is still only worth 150 points.

So, the Ton-80 that I threw is a big deal.  Maybe not to a lot of dart players, but for me it certainly was.

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This is pretty cool and a GREAT example of pure artistry.

A train made entirely of chocolate has set a new Guinness World Record as the longest chocolate structure in the world……

The sculpture, on display at the busy Brussels South station, is 112-feet (34.05 meters) long and weighs over 2,755 pounds (1250 kilos).

Maltese chocolate artist Andrew Farrugia spent over 700 hours constructing the masterpiece.

He said he came up with the idea of the train last year after visiting the Belgian Chocolate Festival in Bruge: “I had this idea for a while, and I said what do you think if we do this realization of a long chocolate train, you know, because a train you can make it as long as you like. “Actually it was going to be much smaller than it was, but I kept on adding another wagon, and another wagon, and it’s the size it is today.”

Farrugia had previously built a smaller train of 12 feet for an event in Malta, which he said gave him insight about how to build this much larger version.

There are two parts to the train. The first seven wagons are modeled after the new Belgian trains, and the rest of the train is modeled after the old train wagons, including a wagon with a bar and restaurant on board.

Three days before the event, Farrugia transported the chocolate train by truck in 25 wooden boxes from Malta to Belgium.

Farrugia said the train incurred considerable damage during the drive and several of the train’s walls had completely collapsed. Luckily, with hard work and little sleep, the chocolate artist was able to fix all the damages before presenting the train to the public on Monday.

After measuring the length of the train and confirming no material other than chocolate was used, officials from the Guinness Book of World Records added a new category to the collection of world records and declared the train to be the longest chocolate structure in the world.

Now that you’ve read the article, you’ve got to see some of the pictures.

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Amazing, right?

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And before any of you get any ideas, this next one is NOT about MY son.  LOL.

My son told me, “Dad, I would like to have a tattoo.”

I told him, “No, nobody has one in our family, and you are not having one!”

He asked me, “Why not? All my friends have a tattoo”!

I told him, “It would be a stain on your body forever”!

He pleaded with me, “Dad, please, please, just a Disney Character on my belly”?

And after many hours of discussion, I finally gave in and decided to let him.  After all, he was a young man with his own freedom of choice, and I thought a Disney Character is probably not so bad!

WRONG!!!

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Antique Tool Still In Use.   Do you know what it is?
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Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit  (1750s – 1810s).

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims

  A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.

  Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowing smoke up your ass.”

  As you are most likely aware, this odd tool is still heavily used by all levels of government.

I just have one  correction to make to the above, the odd tool is still heavily used by higher levels of government than me.

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Here’s a letter to the boss that will never work for you.

Dear Boss,

I have enjoyed working here these past several years.
You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream  about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work when it is  convenient. In addition I fully expect to draw my full salary and  all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves  fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say  anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
Every Senator or Congressman running for President.

Try that at your job and tell me how it works out.

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When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But, the music was so much better then!”

unexplained

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Yup, completely unexplainable…

Be Decisive.  Right or wrong, make a damn decision.  The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” ~ Unknown

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1601

  1. Danny Manger says:

    I always look forward to the DragonLaffs. I have a bookmark I purchased in 1982 that says, “The most wasted day of all is that one in which you have not laughed.” It is one of my most cherished possessions. Thank you for those days that were not wasted.

  2. Ginny. says:

    CONGRATS on reaching your own personal goal.in your darts tournament

  3. Chris says:

    A really great issue!1

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