Dragon Laffs #1596–Just Another Wacky Wednesday


Just the Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

Day 205 of my captivity…not sure if that’s accurate or not, but it sure does feel that way.  I have a day off coming up this weekend, I think, and I plan on sleeping most of the day.

Oh wait…

I can’t…

We are holding our annual Linda Foote Tournament for our dart league.  Linda Foote was the woman who first founded our league some 30 odd years ago and she died of cancer, and every year after that we’ve held this tournament to raise money for cancer.  Last year we had our best year ever and raised over one thousand dollars.  We hope to do a lot better this year.

So, I guess I’ll be sleeping on Sunday.

I hope.

So, let’s get to laughing, shall we?

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I didn’t know this.  Didn’t realize this.  And it makes a lot of sense.

IS THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE SO IMPORTANT

In their infinite wisdom, the founders of our country created a structure called the “Electoral College” as a control system and to ensure the individual states were fairly represented. Otherwise one or two densely populated areas would speak for the whole of the nation. It was not created as a device to favor Democrats, Republicans, Whigs, Tories or any other political affiliation. It was created as a system of “checks and balances” to guard against any small vocal area, with a specific agenda, speaking for the whole of the nation.

The following list of statistics should put an end to the argument as to why the Electoral College makes sense.

There are 3,141 counties in the United States.

Trump won 3,084 of them.
Clinton won 57.

There are 62 counties in New York State.

Trump won 46 of them.
Clinton won 16.

Clinton won the popular vote by approx. 1.5 million votes.

In the 5 counties that encompass NYC (Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Richmond & Queens) Clinton received well over 2 million more votes than Trump.

In other words, these Five (5) counties alone, more than accounted for Clinton winning the popular vote for the entire country !

These 5 counties comprise 319 square miles.
The United States is comprised of 3,797,000 square miles.

When you have a country that encompasses almost 4 million square miles of territory, it would be ludicrous to even suggest that the vote of those who inhabit a mere 319 square miles should dictate the outcome of a national election.

Large, densely populated cities (NYC, Chicago, LA, etc.) do not and should not speak for the rest of our country…and somehow the geniuses who founded our country understood this and created a system to avoid that circumstance.

And now you understand the supreme importance of the Electoral College.

Do share this…  It needs to be understood.

Calvin and Hobbs.  One of my favorite cartoons of all times…mostly because I raised Calvin myself.  Now, his name wasn’t Calvin, it was the Whelpling, but it was EXACTLY the same thing.

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Wooden-Groan

Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.

They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, “Weren’t you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?

The nun replied, “Nah, don’t you know old habits are hard to break?!

Told ya!

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It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
The average man’s penis is two times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women: will be finished reading this by now.
Men: are still busy checking their thumbs.

I’m sorry, what was that last part?

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Peeping Toms 2

Peeping Toms

“You have reached the ‘Men’s Help Line.’ My name is Don. How can I help you?”

“Hi Don, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone’s car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the entire bracket?”

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And that, dear friends, is that.  Until Saturday.

Cheers!  Impish Dragon

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1596–Just Another Wacky Wednesday

  1. Ginny. says:

    Loved it from beginning to the end. Interesting about the Electoral College Hope your plans for some serious sleeping happens. .

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