Dragon Laffs #1594


Wednesday

Good Morning Campers!

By the time you read this, I’ll have worked for 9 days in a row without a day off and still have another 9 days to go before my next day off. 

It’s a good thing I like my job.

But it does make it hard to give you guys a good issue.

So, I’m going to do the best I can.  So, let’s get to it.  And let’s laugh!

4088

4089

4090

4091

4092

4093

4094

 

4095

4096

4097

4098

4099

I have to admit, I was looking for the punch line before I got to the end of the joke and this one surprised me.

There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could.

So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time.

Eventually, the local church decided to do a big restoration project.

Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job.

And so he started, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down with turpentine.

Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder.

The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn.

Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”

4100

4101

4102

4103

4104

4105

4106

4107

4108

4109

4110

4111

4112

4113

4114

I don’t like to think before I speak…I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what I say.

4115

4116

4117

4118

4119

 

4120

4121

4122

4123

4124

NOT ALL THIEVES ARE  STUPID!

1. LONG  – TERM PARKING
Some  people left their car in the long-term parking at San Jose while away, and  someone broke into the car. Using the information on the car’s  registration in the glove compartment, they drove the car to the  people’s home in Pebble Beach and robbed it.  So I guess if we are going to leave the car in long-term parking, we  should NOT leave the registration/insurance cards in it, nor your remote  garage door opener. This gives us something to think about with all our  new electronic technology.
2. GPS:
Someone had their car broken into  while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the  green which was adjacent to the football  stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the  car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had  been prominently mounted on the dashboard. When the victims got  home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just  about everything worth anything had been  stolen. The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house.  They then used the garage remote control  to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves  knew the owners were at the football  game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so  they
knew how much time they had to clean  out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to  empty the house of its contents. Something  to consider if you have a GPS – don’t put your home address in it.  Put a nearby address (like a store or  gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no  one else would know where you live if  your GPS were stolen.
3. CELL  PHONES:
I  never thought of this! This lady has now changed her habit of how she  lists her names on her cell phone after her handbag was  stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet,  etc., was stolen. Twenty minutes later when  she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened,  hubby says, “I received your text asking about our Pin number and I’ve  replied a little while ago.” When they rushed down to the  bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The  thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text  “hubby” in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20  minutes he had withdrawn all the money from  their bank account.
Moral lesson:
a. Do not disclose the relationship  between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names  like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad,  Mom, etc..
b. And very importantly, when  sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling  back.
c. Also, when you’re being texted by friends or family to meet  them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If  you don’t reach them, be very careful about going places to meet  “family and friends” who text  you.
4. PURSE IN THE  GROCERY CART SCAM:
A lady went grocery-shopping at a  local mall and left her purse sitting in the children’s seat of the cart  while she reached something off a shelf/ Wait  till you read the WHOLE story! Her wallet was stolen, and she reported  it to the store personnel. After  returning home, she received a phone call from the Mall Security
to  say that they had her wallet and that although  there was no money in it, it did still hold her personal papers. She  immediately went to pick up her wallet, only to  be told by Mall Security that they had not called her. By the time she  returned home again, her house had been  broken into and burglarized. The thieves knew that by calling and saying  they were Mall Security, they could lure  her out of her house long enough for them to burglarize it.

motivational wooden sign

Owens

owned

Pageants

Panties2

Paradox

paradox

Paranoia

Paranoia2

Parenting

Parenting2

parking

Wife: “I have blisters on my hands from the broom.”
Husband: “Next time take the car, silly.”

4125

4126

4127

4128

4129

4130

4131

4132

4133

4134

4135

4136

4137

My final thought for today:  I’ve seen better days, but I’ve also seen worse.  I don’t have everything that I want, but I do have all I need.  I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up.  My life may not be perfect, but I am indeed blessed.

Cheers my friends.

Impish Dragon

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dragon Laffs #1594

  1. John Z says:

    TRY JONES23

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s