Dragon Laffs #1541


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Campers

What an interesting world we live in.

I recently have been having trouble with my impishdragon@hotmail.com account.  Like since August of last year.  Problem was, I didn’t realize I HAD a problem.  (There are several of you who I’m sure I owe an apology to who have written to me at that address and I haven’t answered.)  Well, it’s going to take me a little while to get through the (currently) 3,518 emails.  Sigh.  See, and I’m the guy who’s anal enough to get antsy when my total of all email accounts goes into triple digits.

All my accounts?

Yeah, currently I have 5 personal accounts that I work with.  I originally thought to get them all worked to one…or maybe two accounts at most, but … yeah, not gonna happen anytime soon.

More interesting stuff…

While reading Lethal’s issue on Wednesday, I was struck by one of the interesting facts that he shared about coffee.

Yes, I know, he shared several interesting facts about coffee, but the one I’m specifically talking about is: Coffee is the second-most traded commodity in the whole world, second only to crude oil.

I find it quite interesting that the two most highly traded commodities in the whole world are the two things that make the world move.  Oil for machinery and coffee for human beings.  Just think, for most of us, we require the two most traded commodities in the whole world just to get to work each day.

Oh, and since 3 to 5 cups of coffee per day leads to 15% lower death rates, by my calculations, I’m gonna live forever!

So, I got that going for me…which is nice.

 

That ought to lead us right into

Lets Laugh

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I’ve got to get me one of those for work!

Some of you know a bit about the physical problems that I have and the mostly continuous pain that I suffer.  Well, without going into any detail, I know that my brother-from-another-mother (BFAM) Lethal is usually in worse shape than I am, so it is with that in mind and for him and the others of you who share the same fate that I present these next pictures:
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And for those people out there (no one here, of course) who look at me parking in the handicap spot and think, “He doesn’t look that bad” or “He’s probably faking and drawing welfare money that I’m paying” (I actually heard someone say that about me in the grocery store the other day and I almost came unglued.  I said, “I WORK for a [expletive delete] living! Usually about 50 hours a week!  And I earn my own [several expletives delete] money!”  There was more, but there’s no sense in putting anything else in writing before the trial.) There’s this one:

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Okay, sorry, had to get that one off my chest.

But, here are some words to live by from Kermit and Diaman:

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Can you say, “Holy Shit!”

 

Having raised boys and girls this next list is excruciatingly funny!

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“Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves.”

Dragon Pics

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More pictures from our DL&LL Enterprises Fantasy Role Playing group.  I’ll let you guess which one is me and which one is Lethal.

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And here’s another tool I’ve been looking for for a long time.

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A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he had for many years.

When his dog sadly died, Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying: “Father Patrick, my dog is dead. Could you possibly say Mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick told the farmer: “No, we can’t have services for an animal in church. But I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road, and – no telling what they believe in – maybe they’ll do something for your pet.”

Muldoon said: “I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough of a donation for the service?”

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic??”

Fantasy

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And who’s this all dressed up to play?  I’ll give you a hint and tell you that Paul loves this outfit.

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That terrifying moment when your cat enters your room, stares at something you can’t see, and then runs away in a panic.

 

Leave it to Pat Sajak and Vanna White to send the Internet into a confused oblivion. On a recent episode of “Wheel of Fortune,” there was a puzzle that was, to say the least, very puzzling. Take a look:

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Believe it or not, it wasn’t “suck it dork,” and the Internet went in to a tizzy trying to figure out what it could be.

To be honest, our guesses weren’t much better. Luckily, we were all given sweet release thanks to one Twitter user.

Well, what are you waiting for? Back to work, guys.

Believe it or not, that last one was from Good Housekeeping.

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Critter

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a72

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When parking is at a premium…

 

 

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Wow, this is totally AWESOME!!!!  Now THAT’S MAGIC!!

 

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The “F” Word

There are only 11 times in history where the “F” word has been considered acceptable for use.

They are as follows:

11. “What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?”
— Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

10. “What the @#$% was that?”
— Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945


9. “Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?”
— George Custer, 1877

8. “Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that.”
— Albert Einstein, 1938

7. “It does so @#$%ing look like her!”
— Picasso, 1926

6. “How the @#$% did you work that out?”
— Pythagoras, 126 BC

5. “You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?”
— Michelangelo, 1566

4. “Where the @#$% are we?”
— Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. “Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!”
— Noah, 4314 BC

2. “Aw c’mon Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?”
— Bill Clinton, 1998

1. “There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President”

— HilaryClinton 2016

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Well here it is again, the end of another week and I’ve run out of week and not run out of stuff I wanted to share with you guys.

But, guess what?  You get me again in just a couple of days.  That’s right, I post again on Wednesday.  Why you ask?  Because Lethal is working up to a great Memorial Day issue and took Saturday and Next Wednesday and I have today and This Wednesday.  Don’t worry about it.  You’ll get it worked out.

But for now….Cheers.

Oh wait!  Any of you wondering about the picture I used for my header?  You know, there’s a very funny story that….

What’s that?

Posting time?

Well, I guess it will have to wait for another time.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1541

  1. Ginny Wish says:

    Wow, another “OUT OF THE PARK HIT” with this issue. I fully understand how you felt when
    someone questions why you are parking in a handicap spot. They can’t see your pain or my daily problems with MS. I think we would both love to give up our problems and be able to park in the back of the lot. Next time someone tells me….”You have MS?……but you look so good. Or you hear over and over how handsome and young you are”! I think we should both beat the SHIT out of them with our canes…..LOL for a comical view of what it feels like with MS….click on this video.
    https://youtu.be/XBb-y63GYsQ

  2. Leah D says:

    Six months after I was paralyzed and fought my way back to walking, it was my daughter’s graduation. I had to make a bathroom trip, and it was up a lot of stairs. I valiantly fought my way, stumbling up the stairs. I overheard two women talking about me, saying in effect, the least I could do is wait until after the ceremony to get drunk.
    So I know well about stupid people making the mistake of judging people as not handicapped.
    For a couple of years I sent out a page of 10 jokes, 10 cartoons once a week. I quit when I wanted to spend more time doing artwork. Several times I had tried to start it back up (each January, because I made a New Year’s resolution) and found I didn’t seem able to make the time to do it.
    So I know very well, seeing as how you put so much more into yours, how hard it is and how much time it steals from the rest of your life.
    I also know how much joy and education it adds to ours. So I THANK YOU!

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