A lot of you have asked me when my hip surgery is going to be and a lot of you noticed that I wasn’t as verbose last week as I normally am.  Well, they are both connected.

I was hoping to have my surgery on the 6th of March or at worst on the 13th.  Well, as it worked out, because I’ve had so many steroid shots in my back over the last several months trying to find out and fix my pain problem, my blood work came back screwed up and the surgeon said that he wanted to wait a month and test my blood again.  So that puts me out into April at the earliest.

Now, I know that I’ve been dealing with pain for several years now, although never this bad, so what’s another month or so?  But, when you have possible relief in sight for something that’s been going on for years…well, you know what I mean.

But, I’m going to do my very best to pull myself out of the doldrums and put a good face on things and in that vein…
 

I had a joke right here…in this spot…that just disappeared just as Lethal’s Wednesday issue published.  Now, that’s some damn fine magic to make a joke disappear because he had already used it.

Now, why can’t he use that power on politicians?

Hi Guys,

So yes, I changed the wording a little bit but I think it’s a lot more fun this way.

If you’ve ever been associated with airplanes at all, you probably know what a “bird strike” is.  It’s when an aircraft in flight, comes in contact with a bird.  This normally means the bird is swallowed up by the engine which can cause the engine lots of problems.  Up to and including complete destruction.  Aircraft engines are much more delicate than you might think.

Anyway…

I’ve been involved in some bird strikes that would curl your hair.  But I’ve NEVER even heard of anything like this!

So, if the picture is too small for you to read, I’ve translated it for you here:
Authorities say an American Eagle flight struck a deer while taking off from the Charlotte, North Carolina, international airport, forcing it to turn around and abort a flight to Gulfport, Mississippi.  The Federal Aviation Administration said in a statement that the pilot of Flight 5320 declared an emergency shortly before 1200 EST Wednesday.  American Airlines spokeswoman Katy Cody said the aircraft was leaking fuel as a result of the deer strike.  TV stations showed damage to one of the right front wing flaps of the CR1700 jet, and emergency personnel sprayed foam on the aircraft as a precaution.  No injuries were reported.  The 44 passengers aboard the flight deplaned by stairs onto the tarmac and were seen boarding buses to return to the terminal.
Well, I wasn’t able to find any video of it happening, but I did find a video of it returning to the airport and the conversation between the pilot and air traffic control.

 

 

Freddy Kruger Lives!!!!!

With Monday being President’s day, this joke is extra-special funny.

          I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!”
She’s smart, so I asked her, “What does Presidents Day mean?”  I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush, Trump, or even Clinton or one of our more historical Presidents.
She replied, “Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the Whitehouse, and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bullshit.”
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

 

I’m not sure if it’s Christmas time or not with this picture…or if that is mistletoe hanging from the top or not, but I do remember I was pretty drunk at the time this picture was taken.

What song does this make reference to?  See the answer below, then let me know in the comments whether you got it or not.

One friend was talking with another friend about his cousin who recently passed away. ”By the time cousin Jack died he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm.” ”Where did they bury him?”’ ”Duh – they didn’t bury him, he was recycled!”

LOL.  That’s going to be me some day.

Just from the pictures, World of War Craft seems like a cool game.  If I had some extra time I might just enjoy playing….lol…extra time.  That’s a laugh.  Actually, it’s an oxymoron…like jumbo shrimp and military intelligence.

 

Jackson Browne originally began writing “Take It Easy” in 1971 for his own eponymous debut album but was having difficulty finishing the song. His friend and then-neighbor Glenn Frey had heard an early version and later asked Browne about it. Browne then played the unfinished second verse that begins with “Well, I’m a-standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona…”, and Frey finished the verse with “It’s a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowin’ down to take a look at me.”^[6] Browne was very happy with the result and suggested that they co-write the song.^[7] The resulting song became the first track on the Eagles’ debut album and was released as their first single.

Browne told a version of the story in a radio interview: “I knew Glenn Frey from playing these clubs – we kept showing up at the same clubs and singing on the open-mic nights. Glenn happened to come by to say ‘hi,’ and to hang around when I was in the studio, and I showed him the beginnings of that song, and he asked if I was going to put it on my record and I said it wouldn’t be ready in time. He said ‘well, we’ll put it on, we’ll do it,’ ’cause he liked it,” Browne explained. “But it wasn’t finished, and he kept after me to finish it, and finally offered to finish it himself. And after a couple of times when I declined to have him finish my song, I said, ‘all right.’ I finally thought, ‘This is ridiculous. Go ahead and finish it. Do it.’ And he finished it in spectacular fashion. And, what’s more, arranged it in a way that was far superior to what I had written.

And of course….the lyrics:

“Take It Easy”

 

One of my favorite songs of all time….and the original picture set this all off.

So, did you get it right?

Okay, I want a redo!  This is bullshit!  Read this:

I’m over age 55 and dammit, I want my happiness!  It’s gonna take forever for them to legalize marijuana in Indiana!  I’ll be the only ancient blue dragon standing in line at the head-shop.  Unfair!

Okay!  Okay!  Enough!  I can hear you grumbling in the back rows!  I take it back!  I’ve never been happier in my whole life!  There, are you happy?  Yeah, pun intended.

Hell, I’m not even functioning until I’ve had my 12th cup.

Another fine example of the security here at DL&LL Enterprises.

Okay, so I’m sorry, but it had to happen sooner or later…

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.. The waiter came and took their drink order.

‘I would like a Sprite,’ said the first little piggy.

‘I would like a Coke,’ said the second little piggy.

‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner

‘I want a nice big steak,’ said the first piggy..

‘I would like the salad plate,’ said the second piggy.

‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

‘I want a banana split,’ said the first piggy.

‘I want a cheesecake,’ said the second piggy.

‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ exclaimed the third little piggy.

‘Pardon me for asking,’ said the waiter to the third little piggy,’ But why have you only ordered beer all evening?’

The third piggy says – ‘Well, somebody has to go ‘Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

That explains everything!!!

This is turning into one of the largest issues I’ve ever put together.  It’s amazing what you can do from your couch when you spend most of the week sick as a dog.  I just hope it doesn’t overload the server when I go to upload it.  I guess we’ll find out.

Yeah, and just try to explain that to the cops.

Okay, so let’s give one more section a try and we’ll call it an issue:

And that, dear friends, is that.  May you have a wonderful weekend and be well till we meet again.