Leprechaun Laughs # 381 for March 1st 2017


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[Publican is the proper Irish term for the owner/operator of a Public House a.k.a. Pub]

God Day ta ya all.

I’m still heavily involved with cleaning up the chaos & damage to our lives caused by the personal cataclysmic event we suffered here on Presidents Day. Dancing in circle, jumping through hoops and waiting on hold in eternal queue seems to be taking up a lot of my time and robbing me of much of my sense of humor and my wit.  I do believe juggling exploding porcupines would be more enjoyable.

According ta a few, it’s also given me a hair trigger on my large bore foul temper, an indiscriminate aim and in at least one alleged incident a tendency to fire on those who swear innocence &/or good intentions.

As a result I’ve no story or witty opening again this week. If this offends you, too damned bad.  If this disappoints you, again all I can do is offer you my sincere apology.

I hope to have the vast majority of things in our personal lives back to normal by the next issue as well as an improved mood,  frame of mind and far better control of my temper. Otherwise it well maybe my last issue for a while until I’m in a better frame of mind where I no longer feel compelled to walk around dragging my knuckles and feeling hostile 24/7 just to insure our personal safety here at Keebler towers.

Enjoy the issue

Varrom

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In a desperate attempt to keep me from going DEFCON 1 on every would be gangbanger, ghetto monkey and entitlement minded to lazy to earn a living thief I can find w/in a 50 mile radius of our home and Molly’s work place this is my new coffee service.

Just incase any of you are wondering:

1.) the cup reads ‘The Almighty’
2.) Yes, the cream is on tap.
3.) The buns are very very fresh.

I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this anymore

 

Angry American Right or Wrong

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In other words liberals and liberal media-

QUITCHERDAMNEDBITCHIN  ALFREAKINREADY!

LIBERALS- We’ve discussed this. You’re candidate lost as a direct result of all the crap your last one and his sycophant cronies pulled on the WE THE PEOPLE who actually pay for the government to run

to say nothing of those who PROTECT AND DEFEND US.

LIBERAL (B)LAME STREAM MEDIA- THERE A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN! Trump isn’t about to accept the crap out of you you have been getting away with for far too long. Leave ‘SPIN” to the politicians your job is and always has been UNBIASED RESPONSIBLE REPORTING OF THE UNVARNISHED NEWS.

You work in NEWS MEDIA not some Wall Street DEMOCRATIC PARTY PUBLIC RELATIONS firm. Stop muck farming and go back to reporting the facts not the opinions of those who own you. Every great reporter of the 20th Century has rolled over in their grave in disgust at your behavior and invited you to KISS THEIR ASS.

YOU COULD BE PART OF THE SOLUTION to this countries very serious problems. Instead of doing your job proudly and responsibly you chose to be PART OF THE PROBLEM. Is it any real wonder why half of you are Persona non Grata in Trumps White House? Your saboteurs and hired political assassins with pens instead of bullets.

NO ONE in their right mind invites someone like that into their home and you’re pissed off because Trump isn’t afraid of you and what you might say but instead had the balls to call you on it. You never believed he would because you all think you’re special and above social morality when in truth the only thing special about you is the level of ignorance or callous indifference you show over the damage you are doing to the country.

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As many of you know and fewer of you will remember I own a rather legendary law firm “Dewy, Cheatum & Howe”. Recently after a review of our in house services with an eye on expanding our earnings we decided that buying up specialized ‘niche firms’ made more sense than attempting to expand ourselves. This saves us the time effort and costs associated with developing a feared reputation in those niche law areas.

As a result, I’d like to announce our first acquisition under this philosophy:

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‘Titanic’ actor Bill Paxton dies at 61

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LOS ANGELES >> Bill Paxton, the prolific and charismatic actor whose many memorable roles included an astronaut in “Apollo 13” and a treasure hunter in “Titanic,” has died from complications due to surgery. He was 61.

A family representative issued a statement Sunday on the death but provided no further details.

Paxton, a Fort Worth, Texas, native, appeared in dozens of movies and television shows and seemed to be around when history was made both on and off screen.

As a boy, he was in the crowd that welcomed President John F. Kennedy in Texas on the morning of Nov. 22, 1963, hours before Kennedy was killed in Dallas.

As a young man, he worked in the art department for “B’’ movie king Roger Corman, who helped launch the careers of numerous actors and filmmakers.

Paxton’s movie credits included some of the signature works of the past 40 years, from “Titanic” and “Apollo 13” to “The Terminator and “Aliens.”

“Bill’s passion for the arts was felt by all who knew him,” the family statement reads, “and his warmth and tireless energy were undeniable.”

 

Storyteller

Impish and I in our early days/much younger years when things were simpler, less complicated, way less stressful, we felt much better and there wasn’t a blog to come between us.  I seriously miss those days, but I fear like many things in modern life they may be gone forever.

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Strong with the hot air this one is hmm?

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Well that (plus probably some degree of senility and deafness) sure go a long way towards explaining his peculiar speech mannerisms!

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Waste not want not my Grandda used to always tell me!

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Now you may remember this following bit from last weeks issue. Think hard (I know it hurts do it anyway)

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Well Impish sort of took umbrage at my sharing it with you and rose to his own defense in private to me regarding his love life. I figure in for a penny, in for a pound so here is his response to my posting that:

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Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining it to him. Maybe my explanation was a wee bit too blunt, pointed and harsh. Let’s see if explaining it like this helps-

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Just remember big guy, we’re all laughing with you never at you!

That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

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Undeniably a serious artistic talent regardless of what you see. Thing is everyone I showed this to saw something different. I saw a werewolf (Think American Werewolf in London transformation scenes). Molly saw a wolf.  Her Aunt said it looked like a lion. Her Uncle said barking dog. What do you see? Let us know in the comments.

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You might remember the following from Impish’s Saturday Issue:

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Hi Guys,

        I need some help. I know quite a bit about anatomy, but, I saw a report on the news and again in the paper that has me a little stumped.  What the hell is a woman’s “Yet”?  In the report they both said the same thing: “A woman was shot and they haven’t been able to get the bullet out of her “Yet”?  Any ideas?

Signed,

Non-anatomical Paul

Now I wear a LOT of hats around here.  Sometimes it sort of makes me seem schizophrenic or confuses readers when I switch out multiple hats in an issue.

Just imagine what it would have been like if I had I answered the above question both as Lethal and as the DL/LL resident Dr. of Quackery in the same issue one right after another!

That why I delayed answering Paul as myself until my issue, also I didn’t want Impish taking any heat for my personal comments or chance he’d not post them for fear of offending someone.

Here now as Lethal himself are my comments on the question:

Paul-

Frankly I’m shocked you even asked this question, as your wife has assured me she is frequently asking you during your most intimate of moments “Is it in YET?”

One would think from that you’d have a firm grasp of the location of a Lady’s YET to say nothing of first hand knowledge of  how small objects (specifically in this instance a bullet, we’ll forego speaking of your personal anatomical specifics out of respect for your manhood card ) might be hard to locate/become lost in that area.

Hopefully helpfully

Lethal

P.S. As with Impish perhaps I was too pointed or a humorous graphical was in order.  If so mayhap this will help you:

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What the hell-  As long as we’re on Adult Subjects and the issue is already in the toilet decorum wise as it were, we might as well continue on and finish out the issue this way. I mean it isn’t like I don’t already know my way to Hell in the Hand Basket Express!

Man v Woman Big O

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And its damned nice too!  Just thought the majority of you men would be wondering. Best thing about it? You’ll never get this reaction or see art like this when in there:

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Think I’m kidding?

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We out! (Drops the keyboard)

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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4 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 381 for March 1st 2017

  1. Leah D says:

    Dragons are known to breathe fire when there needs are put aside!
    I have been waiting for a long time to see the doctor about my knee. I had an appointment in the morning, but woke up this morning sick as hell, had to cancel. Wish I as a dragon and could let everyone know how I feel about that.
    The sculpture is a lion .. the teeth alone tell me that.

  2. Howard says:

    Mood and chaos aside, a great issue as always!! As for the carving pic, I must be a bit odd. My first thought looking at it was “An Orc.”. Of course that may have to do with recent viewings of various Lord of the Rings movies recently. But you asked! So that’s what you get, LOL. You might want to take another look at it after reading this and see if you agree with me. Hoping things return to some semblance of sanity and serenity for you soon!!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Didn’t need to take a second look to see your point about the carving.
      It’s been a while since I saw any of the LOTR movies but as I recall the depiction of orcs in the movie I can see your point
      though if I were to go with a LOTR reference for the carving I might say its more Gnoll than Orc.

      ROFL just what we needed more options for the debate!

  3. Ginny says:

    Well I do hope things will improve for you. Funny stuff and I appreciate the time you spent in making us laugh this week. I just informed Mr. K….how far his question of WHAT IS A WOMAN’S YET….went by asking you two nuts….LMAO. My guess of what that work of art…I too think it is a lion.

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