[Publican is the proper Irish term for the owner/operator of a Public House a.k.a. Pub]
God Day ta ya all.
I’m still heavily involved with cleaning up the chaos & damage to our lives caused by the personal cataclysmic event we suffered here on Presidents Day. Dancing in circle, jumping through hoops and waiting on hold in eternal queue seems to be taking up a lot of my time and robbing me of much of my sense of humor and my wit. I do believe juggling exploding porcupines would be more enjoyable.
According ta a few, it’s also given me a hair trigger on my large bore foul temper, an indiscriminate aim and in at least one alleged incident a tendency to fire on those who swear innocence &/or good intentions.
As a result I’ve no story or witty opening again this week. If this offends you, too damned bad. If this disappoints you, again all I can do is offer you my sincere apology.
I hope to have the vast majority of things in our personal lives back to normal by the next issue as well as an improved mood, frame of mind and far better control of my temper. Otherwise it well maybe my last issue for a while until I’m in a better frame of mind where I no longer feel compelled to walk around dragging my knuckles and feeling hostile 24/7 just to insure our personal safety here at Keebler towers.
Enjoy the issue
In a desperate attempt to keep me from going DEFCON 1 on every would be gangbanger, ghetto monkey and entitlement minded to lazy to earn a living thief I can find w/in a 50 mile radius of our home and Molly’s work place this is my new coffee service.
Just incase any of you are wondering:
1.) the cup reads ‘The Almighty’
2.) Yes, the cream is on tap.
3.) The buns are very very fresh.
I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this anymore
In other words liberals and liberal media-
LIBERALS- We’ve discussed this. You’re candidate lost as a direct result of all the crap your last one and his sycophant cronies pulled on the WE THE PEOPLE who actually pay for the government to run
to say nothing of those who PROTECT AND DEFEND US.
LIBERAL (B)LAME STREAM MEDIA- THERE A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN! Trump isn’t about to accept the crap out of you you have been getting away with for far too long. Leave ‘SPIN” to the politicians your job is and always has been UNBIASED RESPONSIBLE REPORTING OF THE UNVARNISHED NEWS.
You work in NEWS MEDIA not some Wall Street DEMOCRATIC PARTY PUBLIC RELATIONS firm. Stop muck farming and go back to reporting the facts not the opinions of those who own you. Every great reporter of the 20th Century has rolled over in their grave in disgust at your behavior and invited you to KISS THEIR ASS.
YOU COULD BE PART OF THE SOLUTION to this countries very serious problems. Instead of doing your job proudly and responsibly you chose to be PART OF THE PROBLEM. Is it any real wonder why half of you are Persona non Grata in Trumps White House? Your saboteurs and hired political assassins with pens instead of bullets.
NO ONE in their right mind invites someone like that into their home and you’re pissed off because Trump isn’t afraid of you and what you might say but instead had the balls to call you on it. You never believed he would because you all think you’re special and above social morality when in truth the only thing special about you is the level of ignorance or callous indifference you show over the damage you are doing to the country.
As many of you know and fewer of you will remember I own a rather legendary law firm “Dewy, Cheatum & Howe”. Recently after a review of our in house services with an eye on expanding our earnings we decided that buying up specialized ‘niche firms’ made more sense than attempting to expand ourselves. This saves us the time effort and costs associated with developing a feared reputation in those niche law areas.
As a result, I’d like to announce our first acquisition under this philosophy:
‘Titanic’ actor Bill Paxton dies at 61
LOS ANGELES >> Bill Paxton, the prolific and charismatic actor whose many memorable roles included an astronaut in “Apollo 13” and a treasure hunter in “Titanic,” has died from complications due to surgery. He was 61.
A family representative issued a statement Sunday on the death but provided no further details.
Paxton, a Fort Worth, Texas, native, appeared in dozens of movies and television shows and seemed to be around when history was made both on and off screen.
As a boy, he was in the crowd that welcomed President John F. Kennedy in Texas on the morning of Nov. 22, 1963, hours before Kennedy was killed in Dallas.
As a young man, he worked in the art department for “B’’ movie king Roger Corman, who helped launch the careers of numerous actors and filmmakers.
Paxton’s movie credits included some of the signature works of the past 40 years, from “Titanic” and “Apollo 13” to “The Terminator and “Aliens.”
“Bill’s passion for the arts was felt by all who knew him,” the family statement reads, “and his warmth and tireless energy were undeniable.”
Impish and I in our early days/much younger years when things were simpler, less complicated, way less stressful, we felt much better and there wasn’t a blog to come between us. I seriously miss those days, but I fear like many things in modern life they may be gone forever.
Strong with the hot air this one is hmm?
Well that (plus probably some degree of senility and deafness) sure go a long way towards explaining his peculiar speech mannerisms!
Waste not want not my Grandda used to always tell me!
Now you may remember this following bit from last weeks issue. Think hard (I know it hurts do it anyway)
Well Impish sort of took umbrage at my sharing it with you and rose to his own defense in private to me regarding his love life. I figure in for a penny, in for a pound so here is his response to my posting that:
Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining it to him. Maybe my explanation was a wee bit too blunt, pointed and harsh. Let’s see if explaining it like this helps-
Just remember big guy, we’re all laughing with you never at you!
That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.
Undeniably a serious artistic talent regardless of what you see. Thing is everyone I showed this to saw something different. I saw a werewolf (Think American Werewolf in London transformation scenes). Molly saw a wolf. Her Aunt said it looked like a lion. Her Uncle said barking dog. What do you see? Let us know in the comments.
You might remember the following from Impish’s Saturday Issue:
I need some help. I know quite a bit about anatomy, but, I saw a report on the news and again in the paper that has me a little stumped. What the hell is a woman’s “Yet”? In the report they both said the same thing: “A woman was shot and they haven’t been able to get the bullet out of her “Yet”? Any ideas?
Now I wear a LOT of hats around here. Sometimes it sort of makes me seem schizophrenic or confuses readers when I switch out multiple hats in an issue.
Just imagine what it would have been like if I had I answered the above question both as Lethal and as the DL/LL resident Dr. of Quackery in the same issue one right after another!
That why I delayed answering Paul as myself until my issue, also I didn’t want Impish taking any heat for my personal comments or chance he’d not post them for fear of offending someone.
Here now as Lethal himself are my comments on the question:
Frankly I’m shocked you even asked this question, as your wife has assured me she is frequently asking you during your most intimate of moments “Is it in YET?”
One would think from that you’d have a firm grasp of the location of a Lady’s YET to say nothing of first hand knowledge of how small objects (specifically in this instance a bullet, we’ll forego speaking of your personal anatomical specifics out of respect for your manhood card ) might be hard to locate/become lost in that area.
P.S. As with Impish perhaps I was too pointed or a humorous graphical was in order. If so mayhap this will help you:
What the hell- As long as we’re on Adult Subjects and the issue is already in the toilet decorum wise as it were, we might as well continue on and finish out the issue this way. I mean it isn’t like I don’t already know my way to Hell in the Hand Basket Express!
And its damned nice too! Just thought the majority of you men would be wondering. Best thing about it? You’ll never get this reaction or see art like this when in there:
Think I’m kidding?