Leprechaun Laughs # 354 for August 17th 2016


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The above breath taking view greets you on the big screen as you enter the Conference Room and head for the coffee. A short time later the camera swivels about none too smoothly to reveal the visage of Lethal Leprechaun. Clad in what appears to be a Kelly Green linen 3 piece suit seated comfortably at a folding table covered in white Irish linen with a full breakfast service laid on. Behind him the front fender of what appears to be a Range Rover Holland & Holland Extended can be seen flying diplomatic flags on the fenders. The camera work is a wee bit shaky and you wonder if his island is suffering a seismic or volcanic event until you see a portion of a dark pole in the foreground. Then it hits you, Lethal is filming this with a GoPro on a selfie stick.

Top o’ the Morn ta you all from literally the top o’ me island, or more accurately the highest point in my island chain. Grand view is it not? Sorry about the camera and camera work but we’re roughing it a wee bit this morning to make all the gear fit in my official state vehicle so I could only bring the essentials.

For those of you who have been worrying about Molly and I and our weather let me give you a quick update. According to the Weather Lady, the area in which Keebler Towers and Firebase Shamrock are located received between 9 and 10 inches of rain from last Friday through Monday evening. More rain is possible basically any day this week and with it comes the possibility of flash flooding. While 9 to 10 inches is an enormous amount of rain fortunately the heavy down pours and been reasonably short in duration and fairly evenly space so as to give sufficient time for us to deal with it. We remain dry inside with no ponding except for short periods so far. Thus far all flood warnings have been generalized and not focused on any particular river stream or bayou.

He pauses just long enough to take an appreciative sips from a large glass of what appears to be iced coffee before continuing.

By next week I hope to have a few pictures of my surroundings and accommodations here to show you. I have to be careful however as I hear via the grapevine that Impish is getting rather ‘twitchy’ at the mention of me or my private little country going so far as to order one of the pools at our recreation mountain chilled to 40 degrees to help him cope. Now that I have some semblance of a staff hired here I’ve she the 6 sisters named after the days of the week back to DL/LL Enterprises to resume their duties and help keep things running (to say noting of keeping an eye on Impish.

Speaking of you Impish my blue buddy, I know you think tennis is boring, needlessly snooty and would be far more interesting if the women dressed like beach volleyball players (actually I quite agree on that point). However you might want to be on the look out for a YouTube in the issue of a young lady trying her best to play the game. I included it special for you to…shall we say easy your suffering mentally and physically.

AH! I see my breakie is being plated as we speak so I’ll be bidding you adieu until next week. Enjoy the issue

Let's Roll 28

 

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Stuttering Cat – as explained by a Grade 4 student

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

“Well,” she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary,” said the teacher.

“It sure was,” said the little girl.

“My kitty raised her back, went ‘Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,’ but before she could say ‘Fuck!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!”

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Yes Molly dear, what every you say Molly dear.

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This girl’s hula hoop skills are mesmerizing

There seems to be some unexplained issue with embedding YouTube videos in the issue so here is the link and my apologies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xno3kAI17zE

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Questions like this are why both sides of the aisle hate and fear Trump

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Two terrorists and the genie

Two terrorists are in a locker room taking their annual shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other one bending over holding his stomach in agony. He has a huge cork stuck in his butt.
“If you do not mind me saying,” said the second terrorists, “that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?”
“I regret I cannot”, lamented the first terrorist. “It is permanently stuck in my butt.”
“I do not understand,” said the other.
The first terrorist says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man In an American flag with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, “I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.”
I said, “No shit?”

This story has been Verified by Brian Williams, NBC anchor news. He was there when it happened.

Dropping that fish and shitting his waders in 3-2-1….

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Woman gets a very adult scoop of ice cream

There seems to be some unexplained issue with embedding YouTube videos in the issue so here is the link and again my apologies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvtEf2VjA9Y

 

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SOLUTION  TO GUN  CONTROL

In 1865, a  Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States  .

In 1881, a  left wing radical Democrat shot James Garfield, President of the United  States – who later died from the wound.

In 1963, a  radical left wing socialist shot and killed John F. Kennedy, President  of the United States.

In 1975, a  left wing radical Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of the  United States.

In 1983, a  registered Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan, President of the  United States.

In 1984,  James Hubert, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 22 people in a  McDonalds restaurant.

In 1986,  Patrick Sherrill, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 15 people in  an Oklahoma post office.

In 1990,  James Pough, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC  office.

In 1991,  George Hennard, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 23 people in a  Luby’s cafeteria in Killeen , TX.

In 1995,  James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 5  coworkers in a Texas laboratory.

In 1999,  Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 8 people at a  church service.

In 2001, a  left wing radical Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed  attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.

In 2003,  Douglas Williams, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people at a  Lockheed Martin plant.

In 2007, a  registered Democrat named Seung – Hui Cho, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010, a  mentally ill registered Democrat named Jared Lee Loughner, shot Rep.  Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011, a  registered Democrat named James Holmes, went into a movie theater and  shot and killed 12 people.

In 2012,  Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people in  Minneapolis.

In 2013, a  registered Democrat named Adam Lanza, shot and killed 26 people in a  school in Newtown ,CT.

As  recently as Sept 2013, an angry Democrat shot 12 at a Navy ship  yard.

Clearly,  there is a problem with Democrats and guns.

Not  one NRA member, Tea Party member, or Republican conservative was  involved in any of these shootings and murders.

SOLUTION:

It  should be illegal for Democrats to own guns.

We  don’t need gun control, we need Democrat control.

Guns  don’t kill people, Democrats do!

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Connecticut rescuers free squirrel as head stuck in cup

ENFIELD >> Emergency responders in Connecticut have come to the rescue of a squirrel that was caught in a nutty situation.

Members of Enfield Emergency Medical Services responded Friday after the rodent got its head stuck in what appeared to be a plastic or paper cup.

Video posted on the Enfield EMS Facebook page shows the critter wildly jumping and flipping into the air in an effort to dislodge the cup.

Responders’ first attempt to remove the cup was unsuccessful. The wily rodent hopped out of one officer’s hands and through the legs of another.

The second attempt proved more successful. An officer covered the animal with a blanket and held its body steady while another officer removed the cup before the critter scampered away into some nearby bushes.

As I said earlier, there seems to be some new unexplained issue with embedding YouTube videos in the issue so here is the link and my apologies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyK53HP02i8

Lethal Libations

No recipes this week…at least not for food. I was worried about Ginny’s ability to deal with the shock 3 weeks in a row so we’re going with go down easy it’s damned hot drinks that are sure to be a hit with adults instead.

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Use the tomato juice call ‘Snappy Tom’ (usually found in a 6 pack of 4 oz. cans) Spicy Michelada and you need not worry about the jalapeno mincing

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I have absolutely no idea what Chia seeds in the Pina Colada Spritz are,where you find them or what else you’d do with them so I skipped them entirely. To me the drink tastes just fine with out them.

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Ut-oh! Looks like someone forgot to fill the food dish before they left!

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LOL looks more like a Habitrail for the Hairball Horde! Mine would ignore everything in it in favor of climbing the wire cage it self for amusement.

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So Impish was bragging how he’d gotten the riding mower that came with his new house overhauled and made into something ‘proper’ for a retired AF vet to be ‘piloting’. This is the photo he sent me of it.

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As if Little Blue smoking a cigar while drinking coffee and driving a lawn mower wasn’t already enough of a disturbing sight in any neighborhood. Don’t worry I had some Ninja Cats sneak in there and have a look, the Gatling gun is only an airsoft one, soft plastic BBs no bullets. He’ll only be terrorizing dogs crapping in yard cats digging up Mrs. Dragons flowers and those insidious acorn burring squirrels with it.

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She Might Be Awful at Tennis But That’s Not Gonna Stop You From Watching Her Try!

A final video, this time mostly for the guys, especially poor Impish all alone back at DL/LL HQ (ahem) “toiling away” while I’m here in my private country of Leprechonia.

Again my apologies for the problem with YouTube videos not appearing in the issue and thus requiring you to click links.

Oh and Impish? No drooling and don’t strain your eyes watching it 500 times please!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOgj9Ch0xto

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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One Response to Leprechaun Laughs # 354 for August 17th 2016

  1. Ginny says:

    Great job on your issue! I didn’t have any problems playing all the videos, I’m sure Impish will be
    watching the tennis player until he has to get his 1501 issue out of Saturday. thanks for the break from weak knees desserts. The drinks looked great with this crazy, humid, hot weather we have been having in NJ. Been watching closely about the flooding in Texas and in Boca Raton. We have had some flooding more in South Jersey. Thanks for the laughs and the time you give us each week….

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