Good Morning Campers,
Been a pretty uneventful week this week, with two exceptions. The first, is that I will be out of town next week. I am going to a special conference in Kansas. Yeah, that’s right, Kansas. Maybe I’ll get to see a real live tornado! That would be so cool.
It’s something that’s been on my bucket list for many years…to take a picture of a tornado up close. Not TOO up close, but just enough up close.
The second thing that happened this week is that I had an ingrown toenail removed. The doctor actually just cut straight down my nail and yanked the one side right out. And since this was the second time in less than a year that the same nail developed the same problem, he put acid in my toe to kill the root so that part of the nail would never grow back.
And do I have a special treat for all you campers out there….I filmed the removal of the nail. Takes less than a minute, can you believe that? Now, I will warn you, it is a teensy bit gross, so if blood and that sort of stuff bothers you, then I would suggest you not watch, but if you have even a slightly tough stomach, you should be just fine.
And yes, I put it to music…so here now, is:
Pretty cool, right?
I think using modern technology to record ordinary things is a great use of the stuff. I have a video of the doctor removing the staples from my knee after my knee replacement surgery. So, maybe I’m weird, but I think it’s pretty cool.
You know what else is cool?
So, let’s get started.
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again.
Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane… Only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!”
The cashier he said, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash
his check for me?
“It would be my pleasure sir. Would you please show me your ID?”
“Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any
eed to. I am Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA”
“Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring
f the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the Dodd-Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID.
“Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.
Everybody knows who I am.”
“I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow
“I order you to cash this check!”
“Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger
Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.
Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis
racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”
Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, I can’t think of a single thing. I don’t have a clue what to do.”
“Will that be large bills or small bills, Mr. President?
I always carry a little crazy with me, cause you never know when it’s going to come in handy.
I have reached a point in my life where my mind says, “I can do that.” and my body says, “Try it and die, fat boy.”
How many of these 34 do you recognize? Surprisingly, at least to me, I only got half of them at 17. The good part is that I just added 17 more books to my “To Read” list.
I saw this on the desk of one of our secretaries. When I asked her where she got it from, she said, “Right in the DL & LL Gift Shop right off the lobby.”
I thanked her and left, but wanted to ask her two more questions. One would have been, “We have a Gift Shop?” and the second one would have been, “We have a Lobby?”
A candid shot from our last year’s white water canoeing trip down the river Styx.
Although it’s a dinosaur, the sentiment is the same with a picture of a dragon…and besides…dinosaurs haven’t been around for a LONG time!
This next one comes from our dear friend and fellow camper, Karl K., aka K².
*Trump’s Special Qualifications For Being President*
——————————Let’s check out Trump’s presidential qualifications
- Obama is against Trump
- The Media is against Trump
- The establishment Democrats are against Trump
- The establishment Republicans are against Trump
- The Pope is against Trump
- The UN is against Trump
- The EU is against Trump
- China is against Trump
- Mexico is against Trump
- Soros is against Trump
- Black Lives Matter is against Trump
- MoveOn.org is against Trump
- Koch Bro’s are against Trump
- Hateful, racist, violent Liberals are against TrumpBonus points
- Cher says she will leave the country
- Miley Cyrus says she will leave the country
- Whoopi says she will leave the country
- Rosie says she will leave the country
- Al Sharpton says he will leave the country
- Gov. Brown says California will build a wallSounds like the kinda president the US needs!!! Go Trump!
This is from my Dad…Papa Dragon Most Senior…and is a great way to open our segment on Pestering Politicians.
As a Senior Voting Adult, here is my list of demands for any candidate running for the chair at the head of the table.
HERE IS WHAT WE WANT..
1. Hillary: held accountable for her previous wrongs!
2. Put “GOD” back in America !!!
3. Borders: Closed or tightly guarded!
4. Congress: On the same retirement & healthcare plans as everybody else .
5. Congress: Obey its own laws NOW!
6. Language: English only!
7. Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights!
8. Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before & during Welfare!
9. Freebies: NONE to Non-Citizens!
10. Budget: Balance the damn thing!
11. Foreign Countries: Stop giving them our money! Charge them for our help! We need it here.
12. Fix the TAX CODE!
And most of all.
13. “RESPECT OUR MILITARY AND OUR FLAG!!”
Pretty much everyone of those demands (and “demands” is the correct and proper word. Just like your boss makes demands upon you at work, so the politicians need to remember that they work for US!) we’ve discussed in Dragon Laffs or Leprechaun Laffs or both.
My Gawd! Sounds just like real life!
It is very, very difficult to live in that glass house with that stone quarry right next door.
Okay everyone smile and wave for the camera.
And there it is. The perfect finale. I know that there is a special place in hell set aside and just waiting for her arrival.
A cop with a drug sniffing dog says to me, “This dog tells me you’re on drugs.”
I said, “I’m on drugs? You’re the one talking to dogs.”
PEOPLE ARE SO UNGRATEFUL! No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
Not a chance in hell!!
Men say that women should come with instructions…What’s the point of that? Have you ever seen a man actually read the instructions?
Truly remarkable! The largest glacier calving ever caught on video! The overwhelming size of this is impossible to imagine.
Who doesn’t like Family Feud? No one. So when we find clips of the funny spots we just have to share them. This one is one of the best.
This one is hilarious! I think my dog’s a democrat!
Here’s one from Ginny Entitled “Getting Old is not for Sissies”
People who have an IQ of 140 or higher. Several of the Mensa members went out
for lunch at a local café.
Spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.
Yup, I too have days where the gravity is too high.
That looks pretty damn aggressive to me!
Everywhere, Wal-Mart shoppers are asking themselves the same question, “What’s a book?”
What is it that Lethal says? “We couldn’t make this shit up?”
Flying saucer found smashed to bits in Roswell, suspect in custody
Authorities found a flying saucer smashed to pieces on the side of the road near Roswell, N.M.
No, this isn’t 1947, and the government isn’t likely to claim it was merely a weather balloon.
The craft cops found earlier this month was the remains of a decorative spaceship previously displayed at the International UFO Museum and Research Center. But three people had grabbed the disc-shaped spaceship on March 19, loaded it into the back of a pickup truck and took off.
Police, however, had surveillance tape of the theft and someone recognized the pickup truck used in the getaway, according to a Facebook post from the Roswell Police Department.
That led officers to arrest a 17-year-old boy in the case on Saturday. The teen was booked into the Chaves County Juvenile Detention Center. He has not given information about why he may have taken the spaceship.
Authorities are still seeking the other two suspects.
Jeannie (Gracie) sent me the above article with the subject line of Youngsters are really beginning to piss me off. I agree.
Has anyone else noticed that the symbol ‘ & ‘ looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?
Keep looking at it, you’ll see it.
A FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”
The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays…”
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client is woefully ignorant.”
The lawyer said,” Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.”
The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.
Court is adjourned…”
You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
Man, I hope not! That’s awful!
I think the cat is a superhero…or a monster. One or the other.
Don’t we all know at least one person with this level of intelligence? But, wait! If you don’t know at least one person this dumb, then possibly it’s you!
Where in Kansas are you going? I was raised in Kansas…..but trust me, it is not fun to see a tornado, especially close or going right over you.
McConnell Air Force Base.
Another fun filled issued!
–I saw a tornado in Kansas waaay back in the ’70’s. It was so cool. It’s so flat there that you can see it coming from miles aways! It was a very rural area and the announcements on the radio after it hit was who’s crops were damaged.
–No! I’m not watching the video of your foot! My son had that done years ago and I had to leave the room!
–The generator toon. Come on people, admit it. How many of you go for the lightswitch when you enter a room WHEN YOU’VE LOST POWER?! hahaha
Have a safe trip, Mr. Dragon!
Just so we’re clear Impish-
Personal Days &/or Sick Days DO NOT cover “Lethal? Listen I can’t come to work because the tornado I got too close to ate my fricken ass then pummeled me with half a town.”
I don’t plan on getting CAUGHT by it, I just want a descent picture.
Show me someone who DOES plan on getting caught by one!
Are you out of your damn mind….you want to see a tornado close up? Do you think you can do a reverse Dorothy and click your heels to bring you back to Indiana?
Nice toe surgery….and loved the music selection. Your issue made me smile, chuckle and actually laugh out loud.
A couple of years ago there were a bunch of tornadoes that came through the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Did a lot of damage. My co-worker and I were at the Ft. Worth multi-service base for a two week course at the same time. The storms came through in the later afternoon, after class was over because we were in the barracks. We had been watching the weather on TV and saw that the tornadoes were headed our way, so, being Emergency Management Specialists, we started getting things ready. We started moving the occupants of the building to the lower floor, things like that.
Then the sirens went off.
And true to our calling, we did what any other Emergency Manager would have done…
We grabbed our cameras and ran to the top floor to try to get pictures of the tornadoes that were approaching.
Sadly, none of them made it to our area that day – no closer than five miles away – so no picture.
So yes, I am still chasing after that elusive tornado picture.
You say it’s just for a picture….well here you go…..
You can’t leave us with Lethal if you get swept off your dragon claws. I tell you what, I’ll hold up an enlarged picture of one, and Paul will pour water on you…and fire up his leaf blower as it throws
rocks and dirt at you.
Those are some great pictures, but it’s not the same thing.
Well instead of training people how to survive….apply for an opening in the professional storm chasers. They probably don’t have a dragon!
That’s a GREAT idea! But, why not do both? Train people how to survive while chasing storms! Awesome! I’m calling them now. I’ll bet they didn’t even THINK of hiring a dragon before!
OH GREAT! JUST what we need a Dragon suddenly becoming scared crapless when it discovers the Tornado isn’t impressed with the fact its a dragon!
Talk about an epic level of organic waste hitting the circular distributor!