Dragon Laffs #1450


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Good Morning Campers,

This is going to sound horrible, but it is now officially Friday (by about 30 minutes) and I have just started putting this week’s issue together.  Now, mind you, I’ve been gathering material and working on things, but usually by this time I’ve got most of it done and am just putting the finishing touches on it.

I don’t have a really good excuse, like poor Lethal with his busted up finger, nor a good excuse like Lethal who’s had a week from hell…well…thinking about his history, maybe not. 

Nope, my only excuse is….I been busy.  I been a berry, berry a busy.

Yup.  That’s it.

BUT!

I’m sure you will find that this issue is just a fun filled as any other.  The only thing you will really be missing…well, the two or three of you who actually read it … is the Agent 44-DD chapter.  Like Lethal told you the other day, we’ve kinda written ourselves into a little corner and we need to discuss where we want the story to go from here.

Hey, do me a favor, please.  Those of you who read the Agent 44-DD stories, can you give me a little bump on either the comments or an email and let me know whether you like it or not. 

Okay, let’s do a quick thank you to those of you who’ve donated so far.  Not many to start with but I have high hopes that more of you will throw a dollar or two our way.  Give up a latte or a coffee this week and help us out, will you?

Diaman
Kristine M.
Henry S.
Ginny
Don C.
Fred S.

Hmm, almost all of those names are familiar from last year.  Thank you all very much for your continued support.  You and the Veterans, the disabled, and the retired on a fixed income are going to have a lot more room in the good seats this year.

Well, one more reminder that the donation button is to the right side towards the top and if you don’t want to use paypal you can always send me an email at impishdragon@gmail.com and I’ll give you the snail mail address.

Now, without further ado…

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I’m thinking that maybe religion SHOULD be taught in school if these answers are any indication:

Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following 25 statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched  or corrected Incorrect spelling has been left in .   
  
1.    IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. 
 
2.    ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLETREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS. 
 
3.    LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT. 
 
4.    THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS. 
 
5.    SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH. 

6..    SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES. 
 
7.    MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS. 
 
8.    THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. 
 
9.    THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE. 
 
10.    THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11.    MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE  OF GERITOL. 
 
12.    THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM. 
 
13.    DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES. 
 
14.    SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES. 
 
15.    WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA. 
 
16.    WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. 
 
17.    JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION. 
 
18.    ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD. 
 
19.    JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE. 
 
20.    IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE. 

21.    THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS. 

22.    THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES. 
 
23.    ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN. 

24.    ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE. 
 
25.    CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY. 
 
  
Aren’t Children great!!

 

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An Hour And A Half Installing The Cat Door, Wasted

When you need validation for an hour and a half of hard work, maybe don’t expect to get it from the cat?

“Yesterday, I spent an hour and half installing a new cat door so Philo the Cat could come and go as he pleases,” Philo’s owner wrote on YouTube last week. But the long-haired Siamese cat was clearly unimpressed by his human’s efforts

Epic Cat Door Fail

Well, at least the cat seems to enjoy his independence…

 

readers comments

You guys all remember last week, when Tom, from the great Northwest wrote to us and we all laughed?  Well, he wrote in again, although, I don’t think we will be doing much laughing this time

Hello Mr. Dragon; Last time I wrote to you I had some humor to share. This time it’s bad news. Our beautiful Oregon is on fire! If you have seen the national news you likely have seen that several western states are fighting forest fires. Now it’s getting close to home and warnings are out. Hundreds of thousands of acres are burning. Dozens of homes have been consumed. Several fire fighters have been injured and three have died in their efforts.
Our home is miles away from any of the fires, yet the smoke is here and getting worse by the hour. The sun is an amber color and the smell is awful. My eyes are watering and my lungs feel it too. We now have an east to west wind that is bringing the smoke directly to us. The winds are up to 30-40 MPH. That hampers the fire fighters and makes the job difficult and dangerous. We’ve had no rain for two months and about 25 days with temperatures over 90. Several days over 100 degrees. Quite unusual for the area.  The National Guard is helping now and we have volunteers from Canada and Australia as well.
I have a few photos for you;

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I just was outside and would estimate the visibility to be less than one mile. The loss will be severe before it’s over. The timber is a great value to our economy. Most of all lives have been lost. Soon the rain will return and new trees will grow, but we will never replace the lives of those who gave everything to save our forests.

Thank you for the update Tom, and I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say, be careful and stay safe dear friend.

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If you don’t see it, keep looking.

Don’t focus on the traffic.

Thanks to my best pal and partner, Lethal Leprechaun for this one.

 

Okay, before I go any further, I want to give you guys some warnings and a disclaimer.  First, the warnings:
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And now the disclaimer, when you get to the end, which you eventually will, and you are looking for someone to pummel for the several minutes you just spent reading this that you will never, ever be able to get back, I want you to know, in no uncertain terms, that IT WASN’T ME!!!!!

Our story starts back in the 1970’s. The west coast of the United States. Just off this coast live two clams: Sam Clam and Eddie Clam. Now, Sam and Eddie are pretty typical 1970’s clams. They like to head out to discos every night that they can and follow all of those regrettable fashion trends, like leisure suits and platform shoes. The two of them knew each other from when they were just little gastropods, so they were practically inseparable. They even shared an apartment. Anyway, one seemingly normal night, Sam Clam and Eddie Clam are heading out to their favorite disco, but since they live underwater and their favorite disco is on land, this means that they have to cross the Pacific Coast Highway to get there. Normally, this isn’t a problem, but tonight, Sam is breaking in a new pair of platform shoes, and he’s having a bit of trouble. As they cross the highway, Sam trips on his new shoes and falls on the pavement. Eddie isn’t paying much attention, but he turns around just in time to see a big truck run right over Sam Clam. No more Sam Clam. When Eddie sees this, he’s crushed (not in the same sense as Sam, but metaphorically). The two of them had been such good friends for so long that Eddie just didn’t know what to do with himself. For the next couple of weeks, Eddie just sat at home, mourning the passing of his dear friend. However, he eventually realized, “Hey, this isn’t how Sam would want me to handle his death! He’d want me to be out there painting the town, and having a blast!” So, Eddie resolves to go and have a good time that night. Unfortunately, Eddie is still pretty depressed, and when he starts crossing the highway, he’s just looking at his feet instead of looking for cars. Sure enough, one comes around the bend and flattens Eddie Clam. No more Eddie Clam. Except, just after that, Eddie sees a bright light at the end of a tunnel, and he emerges into what he believes to be clam heaven. His suspicions are confirmed when he looks over to see St. Peter Clam sitting at a desk by the pearly gates. Eddie walks over, and St. Peter Clam tells him, “You should have watched where you were going.” “Yeah, I guess so,” Eddie replies. “We’ll we’re all set for you here; your name’s on the list so you can–” “Actually,” Eddie interrupted, “Could you tell me if you saw a Sam Clam come through here a while ago? We’ve got some… unfinished business.” St. Peter Clam starts leafing through his guestbook, and eventually comes across the Sam Clam entry. The expression on his face told Eddie that Sam was not in clam heaven, but Eddie does some more pleading, and St. Peter Clam eventually relents. “Take this harp,” St. Peter Clam says, “And I’ll send you down there. The catch is, you have to keep strumming this harp the entire time you’re there. If you stop strumming, poof! You’re back up here, and not going back.” Eddie begins thanking St. Peter Clam profusely for the opportunity, and begins his descent. Eddie steps out into the clambake, and immediately realizes that he has no idea where to find Sam Clam. He stops a demon clam walking by, who, in an unusually friendly fashion, gives Eddie some directions on how to find Sam. Eddie follows them, and finds himself in front of a large building with a flashing sign that read “SAM’S DISCO”. Eddie gets really excited at this point, because it was always Sam Clam’s dream to run a disco. Eddie dashes into the disco, weaves through the demon clams on the dance floor, and finds a door labeled “Office”. Eddie knocks, and a voice beckons him in. Sam Clam is sitting at the desk, on the phone, but he drops the phone when he sees Eddie. The two of them lock eyes, and then dash toward each other to share a big clam hug (somehow). In the midst of the excitement, though, Eddie drops his harp, and ten seconds into the hug, poof! Eddie finds himself back up in clam heaven. St. Peter Clam inquires about Eddie’s excursion, and Eddie announces that he is finally at peace and ready to enter clam heaven. Nonetheless, St. Peter Clam stops him and says, “Well, wait, what happened to your harp?” Eddie Clam thinks for a second and exclaims, “Oh no! I left my harp in Sam Clam’s disco!”

I know, I know, but I tried to warn you!

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Ain’t that the truth!

 

Now, for a change of pace, let’s watch the Navy perform some selections from the Jersey Boys.  You won’t be sorry

Those guys were great!

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One of my all time favorite pictures.  This one is GREAT for the wallpaper on your phone.

 

Things Overheard While Having Sex

 


* “A hundred bucks?!? What can I get for ten?”

* “Mmmmm, yeah baby, take it off! C’mon, nice & slow … That’s goo–
AAAARRGGGG!! Disconnected again! Friggin’ AOL!!!”

* “Dammit! They just don’t make these colostomy bags as strong as they used to!”

* “Oooh, you’re so BIG! Oooh, you’re so POWERFUL!
Oooh, your batteries just died!”

* ” … ‘Rectum? It nearly killed him.’ Get it? Wait … come back!”

* “No, really, I always yawn like that when I climax.”

* “It’s called a ‘bra.’ Women wear them under their clothes.”

* “Don’t laugh — if *all* penises were this small, birth control would be a thing of the past!”

* “OK, now put on the Deanna Troi mask and say ‘Captain, I can sense your throbbing manhood!’ …No, no, try it again with more accent!”

* “Oh, Baby! Here I expected 5, and you whip out 13!!”

* “Well, what you lack in size, you make up for in speed.”

* “Top 5? C’mon, it’s more like the Top 3 1/2!”

* “Wait! Wait! We can’t start until I find my beret!!”

* “Dammit Mom! Knock first!”

* “OK, this time, *you* be Martha Stewart and *I’ll* be Rico the gardener.”

* “Look, lover boy, $120 means $120 — I don’t give a shit if that works out to $240 a minute.”

* “Mind if I wedge my calculator under your breast there while we’re doing this?”

* “Shave it? You’re lucky I washed it.”

* “Why yes, as a matter of fact, I *WAS* the original body model for the Ken doll. How in the world did you guess?”

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And we don’t believe you any more than we believed your husband.

 

Okay, this is an oldie, but goodie.  But, the reason I’m presenting it here is that I swear my life is getting more and more like this.  There’s way too many times that I just can’t say the damn words!!!

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

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An obvious nod to the heroes who stopped the terrorist on the French train recently.  It’s nice to know that there are some people willing to stand up still out there and it’s nice to know that, even in some small way, they get recognized.

 

A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“I think I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, “Mommy, Mommy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe, and she has no clothes on.”
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband. Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
“You rotten bitch”, she screams. “My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked, playing hide and seek with the kids?!”

 

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Just a warning.  Get caught cheating on a test in OUR school and see what happens to you!!!

 

Work Gripes
 
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a ‘rush job,’ run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate.

 

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Gads, that one is awful as well!!!!

 

A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she’d “just take a chance.”
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

 

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If there were such things as leaf blowers when we were kids, we would’ve done something like this, I’m sure.  How many of you out there can honestly say different?

 

21 year David Ash did not see his parents Frankie and Carolyn parked in front of the Speed Mart store in Northport Alaska when he pulled up.
 
He brushed past his father without looking up as he went into the store.
 
His parents then watched in amazement as their son went behind the counter and held up the cashier.
 
He then ran outside, jumped into his truck and sped off.
 
His parents waited for the police to arrive and then identified their son as the robber.
 
The problems for the David were just beginning, however. His car broke down during the getaway and he called his parents for help.
 
They called police and told them where they could find him.

Yeah, this guy’s the jackass of the week.  lol. 

 

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This one’s just too good to pass up.  Talk about clueless!!!

 

 

There’s a new democratic hopeful entering the race!!!

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After nearly 40 years of marriage, Charlie and his wife were lying in bed …
Suddenly the wife felt Charlie begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t done in quite some time…
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back …
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach …
 
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf …
 
Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg …
 
He continued in the same manner on her right side … then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent …
 
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice…”Honey, that was wonderful … Why did you stop… ?”
 
To which he responded… “I found the remote…”

 

One of the most important thing we can change for the better, I believe, is to impose term limits on our House and Senate.  And realize that these idiots did nothing to gain such a retirement and benefit package as they have now.  Hell, even in the military you only get half your base pay at 20 years.  Not a one of these people ever did anything more important than the least of the military members have done.

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Car Pooling4 (2)

Duct Tape7 (2)

Illegal Aliens

Illegal Immigrants

I'm a croc

I'm not old

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Lastly, here’s a couple of essays that really paint a different picture of The Donald and not only what he is offering, but what he represents as well.  I’m not saying he’s the nominee of choice, but I am saying he’s worth another glance.

HATING TRUMP’S MESSAGE

 

By Lloyd Marcus
August 23, 2015
NewsWithViews.com

While on an aerobic machine at the gym, I caught Trump on TV. It occurred to me that Trump’s high poll numbers really represent the American people vs the America hating Left. Trump’s campaign slogan is “Make America Great Again.” Them’s fightin’ words to the Left.

For decades the Left has used its domination of the media and public education to indoctrinate our kids into believing that it is racist and mean to think of America as great. The Left says such pride and patriotism is an insult to the rest of the world.

You think I am crazy? Public elementary schools banned Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be An American/God Bless the USA” in NY and Florida, thus far.

A Brooklyn elementary school principal blocked patriotism from teachers’ plans for a school assembly. Students were going to march in carrying US flags while singing a patriotic song. Here is one of the offensive lyrics. “I’ll always do my part, I love my land that’s free.”

The Ninth Circuit court upheld a San Francisco school district’s ban on wearing American flag t-shirts to school on a Mexican holiday.

Professors at the University of California, Irvine join students in trying to ban the America flag on campus because they say it contributes to racism.

Years ago a white friend told me her son came home from middle school a tearful basket case. He was filled with guilt about the evils his white forefathers thrust upon minorities. Today, my friend’s son is an America hating Communist. He also believes white males are the greatest source of evil in the world.

A product of public education, a millennial relative said she would be traveling near South Dakota. I suggested she visit Mt Rushmore. Her reply was venomous, “I wouldn’t travel across the street to see those guys.”

Trump saying such things as wanting to “make America a winner” and “make our military strong” is extremely crass to the Left; repulsive as showing Dracula the cross.

Despite being drilled by the Left to hate their country, I believe American youths instinctively desire to love their homeland. Trump is making it okay to say it out loud.

Even some Republicans are uncomfortable with Trump boldly advocating for America; vowing to make decisions in our best interest. Well trained by the Left, most professional politicians cringe hearing Trump say take the oil, make Mexico pay for the wall and stop giving money to countries that hate us. Talk of putting America first infuriates liberals; deeming it racist and insensitive to the global community.

Ann Coulter is a rare voice on the big stage clamoring for an immigration policy rooted in America’s best interest rather than people to whom we owe nothing. Most pundits fear Leftists branding them racist, heartless and cruel. Consequently, Coulter’s unapologetic common sense is rare.

Not only do Leftists support Obama governing against America’s best interest, they have been cheerleaders for his long list of decisions designed to tear down our country. Obama’s latest betrayal is his insane Iran nuke deal.

Displaying off-the-chain condescension, Obama repeatedly tells us, issue after issue, we are not seeing what we are obviously seeing. For example. Obama says his deal prevents Iran from getting a nuclear bomb. Meanwhile, it is obvious to the world that Obama is green-lighting Iran acquiring a nuclear bomb. Obama’s ego is boundless. For crying out loud, Iran is already breaking the deal.

Despite this Administrations’ pattern of telling us we are not seeing what we are obviously seeing, Admiral Lyons says Obama’s strategy is simple for any thinking American to see. “It’s anti-American; anti-western. It’s pro-Islamic. It’s pro-Iranian and pro-Muslim Brotherhood.”

Obama, Hillary Clinton and John Kerry know Americans would reject dethroning us as the world super power and making citizens subservient to government. Insidiously, this Administration masks its betrayals with lofty words like fairness, compassion and patriotism. Obama’s definition of patriotism includes opening our borders to illegals – taking our guns – taxing businesses out-of-business – repealing Constitutional freedoms and addicting as many able-body Americans to government assistance as possible.

Then along comes this outsider untamed by PC. Fearlessly, he speaks the truth. Wait a minute. This is a crazy way to run a country. I’m gonna make America great again! The people heard and responded positively. The Left is outraged.

This is not an endorsement of Trump for president. I am simply saying the Left’s hatred of Trump’s message reflects their hatred of America and those who love her.

Lloyd Marcus, Proud Unhyphenated American
Chairman
CampaignToDefeatObama.com

© 2014 Lloyd Marcus – All Rights Reserved

http://www.newswithviews.com/Marcus/lloyd333.htm

And this second one shows us why Hilary, Obama and the rest of the democrats are scared to death of this man.

Why Obama and Hillary Must Stop Donald Trump at All Costs

By Wayne Allyn Root

Someone is getting very nervous. Obama. Valerie Jarrett. Eric Holder. Hillary Clinton. Jon Corzine…to name just a few. And I know why.

I wrote a book entitled, “The Murder of the Middle Class”

about the unholy conspiracy between big government, big business and big media. They all benefit by the billions from this partnership and it’s in all of their interests to protect one another. It’s one for all, and all for one.

It’s a heck of a filthy relationship that makes everyone filthy rich. Everyone except the American people. We get ripped off. We’re the patsies.

But for once, the powerful socialist cabal and the corrupt crony capitalists are scared. I’ve never seen them this outraged…this vicious…this motivated…this coordinated. NEVER in all my years in politics, have I seen anything like the way the mad dogs of hell have been unleashed on Donald Trump.

When white extremist David Dukes ran for Governor of Louisiana even he wasn’t treated with this kind of outrage, vitriol and disrespect. When a known fraud, scam artist and tax cheat like Al Sharpton ran for President, I never saw anything remotely close to this. The over-the-top reaction to Trump by politicians of both parties, the media and the biggest corporations of America has been so swift and insanely angry that it suggests they are all threatened and frightened like never before.

Why? Because David Duke was never going to win. Al Sharpton was never going to win. Ron Paul was never going to win. Ross Perot was never going to win as a third party candidate. None of those candidates had the billion dollars it takes to win the presidency. But Donald Trump can self fund that amount tomorrow…and still have another billion left over to pour into the last two week stretch run before election day.

No matter how much they say to the contrary, the media, business and political elite understand that Donald Trump is no joke and could actually win and upset their nice cozy apple cart.

It’s no coincidence that everyone has gotten together to destroy Donald. No this is a coordinated conspiracy led by President Barack Obama himself. Obama himself is making the phone calls and giving the orders- the ultimate intimidator who plays by the rules of Chicago thug politics.

Why is this so important to Obama? Because most of the other politicians are part of the “old boys club.” They talk big, but in the end they won’t change a thing. Why? Because they are all beholden to big money donors. They are all owned by lobbyists, unions, lawyers, gigantic environmental organizations, multi-national corporations like Big Pharma or Big Oil. Or they are owned lock stock and barrel by foreigners- like George Soros owns Obama, or foreign governments own Hillary with their Clinton Foundation donations.

These run-of-the-mill establishment politicians are all puppets owned by big money. But one man- and only one man- isn’t beholden to anyone. One man doesn’t need foreigners, or foreign governments, or George Soros, or the United Autoworkers, or the Teachers Union, or the SEIU, or the Bar Association to fund his campaign.

Billionaire tycoon and maverick Donald Trump doesn’t need anyone’s help. That means he doesn’t care what the media says. He doesn’t care what the corporate elites think. That makes him very dangerous to the entrenched interests. That makes Trump a huge threat. Trump can ruin everything for the bribed politicians and their spoiled slavemasters.

Don’t you ever wonder why the GOP has never tried to impeach Obama? Don’t you wonder why Boehner and McConnell talk a big game, but never actually try to stop Obama? Don’t you wonder why Congress holds the purse strings, yet they’ve never tried to defund Obamacare or Obama’s clearly illegal Executive Action on amnesty for illegal aliens? Bizarre, right? It defies logic, right?

Well first, I’d guess many key Republicans are being bribed. Secondly, I believe many key Republicans are being blackmailed. Whether they are having affairs…or secretly gay…or stealing taxpayer money…the NSA knows everything.

Ask former House Speaker Dennis Hastert about that. The government even knew he was withdrawing large sums of his own money, from his own bank account. Trust me- the NSA, SEC, IRS and all the other 3-letter government agencies are watching every Republican political leader. They know everything.

Thirdly, many Republicans are petrified of being called “racists.” So they are scared to ever criticize Obama, or call out his crimes, let alone demand his impeachment.

Fourth, why rock the boat? After defeat or retirement, if you’re a “good boy” you’ve got a $5 million dollar per year lobbying job waiting.

The big money interests have the system gamed. Win or lose…they win.

But Donald Trump doesn’t play by any of these rules. Trump breaks up this nice cozy relationship between big government, big media and big business. All the rules are out the window if Donald wins the presidency. The other politicians will protect Obama and his aides. But not Donald.

Remember Trump is the guy who publicly questioned Obama’s birth certificate. He questioned Obama’s college records and how a mediocre student got into an Ivy League university.

Now he’s doing something no Republican has the chutzpah to do- question our relationship with Mexico …question why the border is wide open…questioning why no wall has been built across the border…questioning if allowing millions of illegal aliens into America is in our best interests…questioning why so many illegal aliens commit violent crimes yet are not deported…questioning why our trade deals with Mexico, Russia and China are so bad.

Donald Trump has the audacity to ask out loud why American workers always get the short end of the stick? Good question.

I’m certain Trump will question what happened to the almost billion dollars given in a rigged no-bid contract to college friends of Michele Obama at foreign companies to build the defective Obamacare web sites. By the way that tab is now up to $5 billion.

Trump will ask if Obamacare’s architects can be charged with fraud for selling it by lying. He will ask if Obama himself committed fraud when he said, “If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it.”

Trump will investigate Obama’s widespread IRS conspiracy, not to mention Obama’s college records.

Trump will prosecute Hillary Clinton and Obama for fraud committed to cover-up Benghazi before the election.

How about the fraud committed by employees of the Labor Department when they made up dramatic job numbers in the last jobs report before the 2012 election.

Obama, the multi-national corporations and the media need to stop this. They recognize this could get out of control. If left unchecked telling the raw truth and asking questions everyone else is afraid to ask, Donald could wake a sleeping giant.

Trump’s election would be a nightmare. Obama has committed many crimes. No one else but Donald would dare to prosecute. Donald Trump will not hesitate. Once Donald gets in and gets a look at “the cooked books” and Obama’s records, the game is over. The gig is up. The goose is cooked.

Eric Holder could wind up in prison. Valerie Jarrett could wind up in prison. Obama bundler Jon Corzine could wind up in prison for losing $1.5 billion of customer money.

Hillary Clinton could wind up in jail for deleting 32,000 emails …or accepting bribes from foreign governments while Secretary of State …or for “misplacing” $6 billion as head of State Department …or for lying about Benghazi.

The entire upper level management of the IRS could wind up in prison. Obamacare will be defunded and dismantled. The Obama Crime Family will be prosecuted for crimes against the American people. And Obama himself could wind up ruined, his legacy in tatters.

Trump will investigate. Trump will prosecute. Trump will go after everyone involved…just for fun. That will all happen on Trump’s first day in the White House.

Who knows what Donald will do on day #2?

That’s why the dogs of hell have been unleashed on Donald Trump. That’s why we must all support Donald. This may be our only shot at saving America, uncovering the crimes committed against our nation and prosecuting all of those involved.

 

Don’t forget to vote with stars and please consider giving us a donation.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1450

  1. paul says:

    ALL THE ISSUES ARE AWESOME — Love the story lines – can’t wait to see what happens w/agent blue –

  2. Ginny says:

    For a guy who was BERRY…BERRY busy, this issue was packed with fun stuff. My heart is breaking for Tom….we have watched the news about the devasting fires. My husband was a professional fire fighter for 25 years….fire is a force of it’s own. I hope it doesn’t reach your home…keep safe. Regarding Agent 44DD, not exactly my CUP OF TEA. OK people, I’m getting out my pom.poms from last year. Only once a year Impish and Lethal ask for the annual donation to keep them going. Let’s show them how much we love their weekly issues! It takes time to put the issues together….time that could be spent with friends and family….and add on that they also work jobs. So even $1 from everyone wouldn’t cause you a monetary collapse. So, please pretty please send them some money and secure you plush seating at the weekly events. They also throw some great parties at their special headquarters for holiday parties too!

  3. Leah Diane says:

    As for the Congressmen who have been in too long, I agree, except for one thing. As long as they are congressmen, they are working for their money. But the minute they leave, they get paid for the rest of their life!
    My friend in Montana tried to figure out how much all the House and Senate is being paid. His calculator couldn’t go that high. Next time they wonder where the money is going, or where money is to fund something, I think they should decide to get rid of their payments after they have left office.
    We just got back from a trip to Montana. When we left Salt Lake City, it was covered in smoke. In Idaho, once the car door was opened, I started to choke and cough. It smelled exactly like there was a smokey camp fire right next to me. It started thinning out after we left Dillon Montana, and it was clear by the time we reached Helena.
    We were visiting with another motel guest. He was from Korea. He was on his way to Glacier National Park, at the top of Montana. We told him he better check first, because we did not know if the fires there were out, and even if they were, maybe the road would be closed. He said he planned on going to Yosemite Natl Park in California. We told him he better check, wasn’t sure there was fire in Yosemite, but because of the fires around it, the smoke was probably too deep for sight seeing. He threw up his arms and questioned. “Fires? Fires?”
    Smoke did move into the Great Falls area, and by that time my lungs were wheezing. Thankfully, by the time we got back to Salt Lake, there had been rain and the sky was clear.

  4. Just FYI, I like the Agent 40-DD story. Keep it going please.

    • impishdragon says:

      Thanks Howard. I appreciate the feedback. Lethal and I LOVE writing that part, well, we love writing ALL the parts, but that is the one that we can really play with and stretch our imaginary wings, if you will. (Just for the record, Impish’s wings are a bit leathery and Lethal’s are mostly made of fine Irish Whiskey.)
      Anyone else have any comments, good or bad, on the Agent 44-DD storyline?

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