Leprechaun Laughs # 313 for Wednesday August 26th 2015


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We’re (I hope) going to keep this short this morning.

After a very all too brief reprieve I’m back to alternately baking in triple digit temps or choking on Ozone Warnings. Basically status quo for August and early September in SE Texas. We needed the rain and thankfully there were no major flooding issues.

Late last week I nearly dislocated my right thumb during a near fall in the middle of the night. This makes typing and using my thumb driven trackball nearly impossible to say nothing of extremely painful. While I’m well on the way to healing that doesn’t help this weeks issue which thankfully was mostly done.

This does mean there will be a brief hiatus for  the Agent 44DD Adventures on my part however and likely Impish’s as well not only due to my inability to write and our need to rethink some of the plot line but due to two of our upcoming issues being occasion specific.

One official announcement before we get going:

This year Impish and I have decided not to go with additional  special edition issues for Labor Day and to mark the 14th Anniversary of the September 11th attacks. This decision was made due to a number of factors and after careful review we felt the best decision.

Impish will address Labor Day in his Saturday Sept 5th issue and I will have some September 11th related material in my Wednesday Sept 9th issue. We will of course immediately revert to our regular non reality based issues again commencing with Impish’s Sept 12th issue.

 

Happy 4th Lets Roll

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NOOOOO!!!!!!

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Lamest excuses for having Ashley Madison accounts

 

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WOW! And apparently a swallower too!

knotted

Former President George W. Bush received a summons for jury duty at the George Allen
Courts Building in Dallas, Texas. He showed up for jury selection and posed for selfies with
several of his fellow jurors at the courthouse.

He didn’t get picked to serve on a jury but what if he had?

The Top 5 Things Overheard During President Bush’s Jury Duty Term

5. “What do you mean we can’t impose the death penalty for disturbing the peace? This is Texas!”

4. “Umm, Mr. Bush, we’re only in the opening arguments. Could you please put away the ‘Mission Accomplished’ sign?”

3. “Mr. Bush, this is the wrong courtroom. Again.”

2. “No, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney may not participate in the jury’s deliberations.”

And the Number One Thing Overheard During President Bush’s Jury Duty Term…

1.  “Aw, c’mon…let us hear it just once more. Say ‘nuclear.'”

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New from Dearborn, Michigan…….

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The latest toy has hit the shops…

A talking Muslim doll.
Nobody knows what the hell it says,
Because no one has the guts to pull the cord.

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textual relations

 

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Beer Braised BBQ Pork Butt

As you’re reading this there is one of these finishing in my 5 Qt crockpot. Since I was already using my oven Monday at 450 degrees for fries I placed the Pork Butt in after the fries came out and left it while we had dinner. I put it in the removable crock and refrigerated it until this morning. Then I just picked up from the lower the oven to 325 point and applied it to the crock pot.

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Ingredients

For the dry rub:

2 tablespoons kosher salt
About 40 grinds black pepper
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground mustard seed

12 ounces good ale or dark beer, such as Bass
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 5 -pound pork butt (shoulder of the animal)

Directions

Combine rub ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Rub all over pork butt. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least one hour and as long as overnight.
Preheat oven to 500 degrees F. Unwrap pork and place in a roasting pan with sides about 2 inches high. Cook 45 minutes until dark browned and even blackening in places. Remove from oven. Lower oven to 325 degrees F. Pour beer over the top and add chopped garlic around the pork. Cover tightly with heavy duty aluminum foil or twice with regular foil. Poke about 10 holes all over the top of the foil. Cook pork butt 2 1/2 hours longer until so tender that it comes away very easily from center bone.

Place the meat on a plate and pour the pan juice (there will be plenty) into a saucepan. To the pan juices add:
1/2 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons whole grain Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup dark brown sugar

Bring to a simmer until reduced by half and thick, about 20 minutes.
While the sauce is boiling down, pull apart the pork with 2 forks. Pour the sauce over the pulled pork and work through until fully absorbed.

political_correctness4590

Since Tuesday marked the 40th anniversary of Bruce Springsteen’s iconic rock album “Born to Run,”  I thought we should hear from the Boss himself.

 

‘Little House on the Prairie’ actress Melissa Gilbert to run for Congress

By Lindsey Bever, The Washington Post Posted: 08/11/15, 4:00 PM EDT

Actress Melissa Gilbert is best remembered as the freckled-faced child star in the 1970s and ‘80s TV series “Little House on the Prairie.” America watched her grow up on set — where she had her first kiss, learned to ride a horse and survived her first bee sting, she once told the Archive of American Television.

The show undoubtedly gave her a name in the industry — and it’s that name that may now give her a boost in the battle for political success.

Gilbert, 51, announced this week that she’s running for Congress in Michigan’s 8th Congressional District. Gilbert lives with her husband, fellow actor Timothy Busfield, in Livingston County, where she is seeking the Democratic nomination in the hopes of challenging the district’s Republican incumbent.

“I’m running for Congress to make life a little easier for all the families who feel they have fallen through the cracks in today’s economy,” she said in a statement on her campaign site. “I believe building a new economy is a team effort, and we need to bring fresh voices to the table to get the job done.”

It marks the first time Gilbert has sought political office — joining a long line of celebrities-turned-politicians. The most notable, perhaps, is Republican Ronald Reagan, who earned his celebrity as a film actor in the late 1930s, appearing in dozens of films, including “Dark Victory” alongside Bette Davis and Humphrey Bogart. But it was the 1942 “Kings Row” that he said “made me a star.” No doubt. He was later elected governor of California and then president of the United States.

Gilbert has already started facing challenges at the start of her political career. The Internal Revenue Service said this summer that the actress owed more than $360,000 in federal income taxes, according to the Associated Press, “a point,” the Detroit Free Press said, “Michigan Republicans were quick to point out as she announced her campaign.”

Read the rest of the article here.

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On Hold

After arriving home from a doctor’s appointment my husband, Bernard, told me that he was being referred to a specialist for further tests.

He called our local hospital to make an appointment, but he was put on hold.

The next thing I know he is laughing and holding out the phone to me to listen to the hospital’s choice of music:

“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen.

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The Final Word on Nutrition

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here’s the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.  Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

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Gaah! It pains me only slightly less to be quoting Jon Stuart than it does to agree with Ralph Nader. Maybe because I’ve done it more often and because Jon is a bit like Impish and I and throws the Political B.S. flag fairly indiscriminately. Also there is no doubt in my mind that Jon loves this country (and NYC) as much and Impish and I do. I can’t speak for Impish but personally I wish I could be half as funny as Jon was on a regular basis. If that were true we’d have gone viral with this blog long ago.

Regardless of all that Jon is right, betting on the American people when the cow chips hit the fan is a no brainer sure thing, just as a Moroccan would be ISIS terrorist found out last weekend.

Train shooting heroes: The men who helped avert a massacre in Europe

By Faith Karimi, CNN Updated 0354 GMT (1054 HKT) August 24, 2015

(CNN) The three friends from the United States traveled in Europe as vacationers. Now the world knows them as heroes.

Anthony Sadler, Spencer Stone and Alek Skarlatos were aboard a high-speed train en route to Paris from Amsterdam on Friday when a gunman opened fire.

Along with two others — a French national and a Briton — they charged, tackled and subdued him, officials said.

Applause poured in from world leaders and citizens alike as more details emerged on the chaotic, bloody scene aboard the train.

Here are the five heroes who may have averted a massacre:

    ALEK SKARLATOS

    The 22-year-old Skarlatos, a National Guardsman based in Oregon, was on a month long vacation after his return from deployment in Afghanistan.

    But instead of taking in scenic European country sides, he was taking on an attacker aboard a zipping train.

    Skarlatos heard gunfire and breaking glass, and sensed something was wrong. When the suspect appeared with a gun in their car, he mobilized others.

    He is the one who yelled “get him” after he heard a gunshot and noticed that the gunman’s weapon appeared to be jammed.

    “The guy had a lot of ammo,” Skarlatos said of the attacker. “His intentions were pretty clear.”

    Once they charged at him, he seized the gunman’s rifle and pounded him in the head with the muzzle repeatedly.

    ANTHONY SADLER

    Sadler, a senior at California State University in Sacramento, was on his first trip to Europe when terror struck.

    When his friends jumped the gunman and took him down, he and another passenger helped restrain him and ensure he stayed down.

    “The three of us beat up the guy,” Sadler said. “In the process, Spencer gets slashed multiple times by the box cutter, and Alek takes the AK away.”

    Sadler helped tie up the suspect then went to other train cars to reassure passengers, said Jean-Hugues Anglade, a French actor who was traveling with his family.

    He “came running into our car, yelling that the shooter was overpowered by American soldiers on leave, that everything was fine,” Anglade told French magazine Paris Match. “He reassured us, he looked for survival blankets and a first aid kit for two seriously injured people.”

    It’ll be hard to top his first trip to Europe and his final year in college.

    “I’m just a college student, it’s my last year in college. I came to see my friends on my first trip in Europe and we stopped a terrorist, it’s kind of crazy,” Sadler told CNN.

    He urged people to be proactive during such situations.

    “The gunman would have been successful if my friends had not gotten up,” he said.

    CHRIS NORMAN

    Briton Chris Norman rushed to help the Americans overpower the suspected gunman.

    “All of us were in the same carriage, these two guys plus Spencer — the guy who got injured — were sitting on the same seats, the same row at the back of the train,” Norman said.

    Norman, who said he was sitting at the front of the car, saw a train employee dash past.

    “I looked up, I saw a guy carrying an AK-47, or at least I assumed it was some kind of machine gun anyway,” he said. “I ducked down in my seat.”

    When Skarlatos and his friends tackled the gunman, Norman said rapid reasoning” prompted him to jump in and help subdue the gunman.

    “My thought was, ‘OK, I’m probably going to die anyway, so let’s go.’ I’d rather die being active, trying to get him down, than simply sit in the corner and be shot. Either you sit down and you die or you get up and you die. It was really nothing more than that.”

    He said his instincts kicked in.

    “We’ve seen enough of these kinds of attacks to understand that they will kill everybody once they get started, and my point of view was, two guys had already started tackling him,” Norman said. “Maybe they needed some help. … I said to myself, maybe I have a chance if I get up and I help as well.”

    SPENCER STONE

    When the group decided to take down the gunman, Stone rushed him first, getting slashed several times with a box cutter in the process.

    “If anybody would have gotten shot, it would have been Spencer for sure, and we’re very lucky that nobody got killed, especially Spencer,” Skarlatos said.

    He tackled him and seized his weapons, including a box cutter, he said.

    “It feels pretty crazy. I never thought I’d be here,” Stone said.

    Stone suffered wounds in the head and neck, and almost had his thumb cut off.

    Despite his injuries, he helped a man who had his throat cut and applied pressure to the neck to prevent him from bleeding out, according to his friends.

    Stone, who serves in the U.S. Air Force, was hospitalized for a day. He was released Saturday.

    UNKNOWN FRENCH NATIONAL

    In addition to the four men, a French national is credited with helping avert a massacre. Authorities did not identify him.

    A “French (male) passenger tried courageously to overpower him before the suspect fired several shots,” French Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve said.

    “Then two American passengers intervened and managed to overpower the shooter, immobilized him on the ground and put aside his weaponry.”

    You can click the by line at the top of the article to read the rest of it.

    Let me first make a humorous observation that I’ll be unable to sleep over not making if I don’t. You know things have reached the point of intolerability and enough has in fact become too damned much when the French stop surrendering or capitulating and start fighting back.

    Secondly a very loud and proud “Ooo-Rah!” to those heroes. Yes I know, the word gets over used by the media but these 4 are legitimate heroes in the truest sense of the word cut from the same fabric as  September 11th 2001’s Flight 93 passenger Todd Beamer who with several others attempted to wrest control of Flight 93 away from the terrorist bent on (allegedly) crashing it into the White House.

    Both on Flight 93 and again aboard that Amsterdam to Paris train last Friday Americans stood up to Terrorism, to misguided Islamic Fundamentalist Zealotry bent on forcing the world to regress to the 6th Century and submit to their rule rather than give up a few outmoded ideas about women and the world. For this the French President awarded the 3 American and 1 British ExPat France’s Legion of Honor. I think the US should also have a Medal for just such heroes, those civilians who stand up and fight terrorist when they attempt their cowardly acts. I suggest it be named in some fashion for those aboard Flight 93 who attempted this on September 11th 2001 to honor them and their being the first to do so.

    Finally, Al Qaeda, the Islamic State and the rest of you goat humping sand flea infested socially regressive can’t cut it in the modern world towel heads who what to keep the eternal struggles of the Middle East going for no legitimate reason other than because you think you’ve got a good thing going on… HEAR ME!

    Americans have had enough of being threatened by you cowardly bullies! The Japanese in WWII feared invading the U.S. because of the number of civilians with guns. You had better start fearing attacking anything related to the U.S. or any mass transit form in any country anywhere that has American men on it because we are no longer willing to go silently into the night, no longer willing to turn the other cheek, we refuse to be made Sheeple by you and your no place in modern society or world beliefs that do not even begin to reflect the true tenants of Islam. We will lead and as always others will follow our lead when we rise to confront you, and that’s just our civilian populace. Our military might be stretched thin and tired of fighting a continual war on terrorism in every Middle Eastern litter box there is but that won’t stop us from coming for you. Cruise Missiles, Spy Satellites, Predator Drones, these things never tire, never stop hunting you when we set them on you. You fear them and so you rightly should for they are the extension of our will to live and remain free, unthreatened in our existence by anyone. Of our determination to have and retain the freedom of choice over our individual form of worship and our right to self government. For better than 2 centuries we have sacrificed, fought and died to preserve these things. Yes, we argue like indolent children amongst ourselves over every conceivable issue, but we also come together in unwavering and unquestioned solidarity when attacked by an enemy or a National Disaster faces us.

    The one thing we all agree on? Our hated of terrorism and terrorist, the need to stand up to them at every turn and level and never to bow down to them regardless the cost. Send us your brain washed Ayoub El Khazzani we’ll send you Drones and Cruise missiles in the dark so you too shake in fear and know terror. Oh- and unlike our four guys stopping your Ayoub El Khazzani? No four of you Jihad jerks are going to stop one of those.

    Twisted Sister – We’re not gonna take it (With Lyrics)

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    About lethalleprechaun

    I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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    2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 313 for Wednesday August 26th 2015

    1. Ginny says:

      Fun issue and enjoyed it all. Good recipes for BEER BRAISED PORK!

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Works really well on my favorite cut of pork too, namely Country Style Pork Ribs.
        See actually they are just cross section slices of the Pork Butt so for some people
        they might be easier to deal with.

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