Leprechaun Laughs #300 for May 20th 2015


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Dont try at home Warning

We are (ok so at least one of us is) Professional Bloggers!

I’mma keep this short cause I’m not in a good mood and crunched for time. I’ve got this issue to finish (which Impish walked through all all over stealing parts of it despite my having called dibs), the Memorial Day issue (again for which I wind up through ‘circumstances beyond anyone’s control’ SOLELY responsible for) and the regular issue that comes two days after that. This of course not counting having to have Impish’s back for his Saturday issue in there as well.

Over worked, over stressed, under numerous too short deadlines, under paid and under appreciated by the majority of the readership, that’s what I am. Anyone noticed how far off the votes for the issues have fallen after we stopped harping about it? I need a vacation and have a serious case of the blues (for which B.B. King is no longer a cure) over it because due to Molly’s prolonged work absence we can’t take one this year. We didn’t get one last year because we were going to use it and the funds for one to move which fell threw at the last minute.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my uniform has some how suffered from Molly’s penchant for coating everything w/in a 5 foot radius of her in baby powder when she applies it despite being zipped up in a suit bag. I’m off the the cleaners with it after vacuuming it.

 

Opening Logo 8

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NO WONDER R2 was always so energetic and perky!

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Sadly Molly has no sister and if you apply this line of reasoning to her 2 cousins that are nearest to her in age then this place is serving Ice Coffee with Tabasco in place of sweetener. I’d rather cross the field of a PO’s bull than lock horns with either of these mean azzed heifers! Imagine a nice girl like Molly having to bear the shame of having 2 liberal entitlement minded female relations!

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As you can see Impish is busily acquiring hidey holes on his own now that I got him started.. This is his latest acquisition, a grotto and cave complex:

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As you can see its not totally uninhabited. When I pointed this out to him his response was:

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“What do you mean? Oh!  You talking about my sun sun toasted coconut oil marinated free range snacks?”

UGH! Why do I even TRY?

What’s that? Why yes, I did ha[[en to come across another one for me this week. And I think my view at least matches the one Impish’s place provides:

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WHAT A GREAT TIP!

Apparently this really works well, especially on fire ants! (I’ll bet Krylon loves this plug.)

A retired engineer from Naples, FL swears this works.  Go to Home Depot or Wal-Mart and buy a can of black spray paint. Krylon seems to work the best.

Stir up each ant mound and the area around it with a stick. The ants will emerge by the thousands to defend their mound. Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.

Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.

Bet its even more effective if you paint half black and the other half blue like cops! Actually ants breathe through their shells so you’re suffocating them in addition to polluting the ground. No doubt that some do attack others because they can no longer distinguish their scent and think they are invaders. Still funny none the less.

 

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What if Winnie the Pooh was Darth Vader?

James Earl Jones’ vocal performance as Darth Vader is one of the most iconic of all time. Everyone can instantly imagine that voice saying “I am your father.” But what if somebody else had played the voice of Vader? No, I’m not talking about Orson Welles. Hear what it sounds like when the voice of Winnie the Pooh tries his hand at the Dark Lord of the Sith.

 

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Felt a need Monday night for some smoked Buffalo style hot wings and a Mesquite Grilled Blue Cheese Bacon Mushroom Steak Burger. That’s Molly’s Pino Grigio (she had a grilled chicken sandwich hence the white wine). The rest of us are drinking from those tall mugs which is Sprite mixed with homemade Lemon Drop Moonshine we snuck in the place.

Mexajita Chicken

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Total Time: 35 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 25 min
Yield: 4 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

3 tablespoons canola oil
4 boneless skinless chicken breast, rinsed and patted dry
Salt and pepper
2 (16-ounce) cans pinto beans, undrained (recommended: Bush’s)
2 (10-ounce) cans Mexican diced tomatoes (recommended: Ro’Tel)
1 tablespoon low-sodium fajita seasoning (recommended: The Spice Hunter)

Directions

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat
Season chicken breasts with salt and pepper. Place in the skillet and sear about 2 minutes per side.
Place pinto beans in the bottom of a 5-quart slow cooker.
Remove chicken from skillet and place the in the slow cooker on top of the beans. Pour the tomatoes over the chicken and beans and sprinkle with fajita seasoning. Cover and cook on LOW setting for 3 to 4 hours.

Stove top instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season chicken breasts with salt and pepper. Place in the skillet and sear about 2 minutes per side. Place pinto beans in the bottom of a 9 by 13-inch baking dish. In a medium bowl, stir together diced tomatoes and fajita seasoning. Remove chicken from skillet and place in the baking dish on top of beans. Pour the tomato mixture over the chicken and beans. Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes or until the chicken is tender.

I’ve done it in a Stove Top to Oven to Table Cast Iron Dutch Oven as well simply by taking the seared Chicken breasts out to place the Pinto Beans in and then placing the chicken on top. The Low Sodium aspect of the Fajita seasoning is fairly import as the undrained beans will have a fair amount of their own and crockpot cooking means less seasoning winds up tasting like more so imagine what more seasoning tastes like.

Rotel comes in varying heat levels so check carefully when taking them off the shelves in your grocery. If you don’t like a lot of heat or have small kinds you might want to substitute 2/3s of a can of petite diced tomatoes for one of the cans of Rotel.

You can easily enough make your own Fajita Seasoning Blend that is no salt too:

Homemade Fajita Seasoning Recipe

Ingredients

  • ¼ cup Chili Powder
  • 2 tablespoons Paprika
  • 1 tablespoon Onion Powder
  • 1 tablespoon Garlic Powder
  • 1 teaspoon Cayenne Powder (optional)
  • 1 tablespoon Cumin Powder

Instructions

  1. Mix well in bowl or jar and store in airtight container until use. Use about 1 teaspoon per chicken breast or steak when making fajitas. 3 tablespoons is the same as 1 packet of store bought seasoning.

Finally serve Mexajita Chicken with Yellow or Spanish Rice.

Baked Parmesan Garlic Chicken Wings Recipe

Molly loves the Parmesan Garlic wings from Papa John’s Pizza as I’ll admit do I. We could both happily eat an entire order and skip the pizza altogether but that’s an expensive proposition. I’ve been able in the past to recreate Papa John’s wings using their seasoning packets, garlic sauce and parmesan packets but that limits me to when I have extra of those things on hand and it never seems to make enough sauce for the wings. Now I can make as many as we want as often as we want with this recipe.

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  Servings: Serves 4 

Ingredients:

1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon kosher or sea salt (1/2 tsp table salt)
2 1/2 pounds chicken wings
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil (or melted butter)
2 tablespoons minced fresh basil
2 garlic cloves, finely minced
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt (like Lawry’s)
1 cup blue cheese dressing
1-2 teaspoons Dijon mustard (or to taste)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 425F. In a small bowl, mix together the oregano, rosemary, cumin and salt. Lay the chicken wings on a baking sheet and season the chicken wings with this mixture.

2. Bake the chicken wings for 20-25 minutes. While the chicken is baking, mix together the oil, fresh basil, garlic, parmesan cheese and seasoning salt.

3. In a separate bowl, mix together the blue cheese dressing with the mustard (this is your dipping sauce)

4. When the chicken is cooked through, toss the wings with the garlic/cheese/olive oil (or butter) sauce.

Don’t Sweat It Pretzel Bars

No-bake pretzel bars for hot summer days! Chocolate and peanut-butter pretzel bars. Drizzled with chocolate and finished with a pinch of smoked salt, these chewy bars prove you can whip up a delicious dessert without turning your kitchen into a sauna.

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Makes 12 to 16 bars

Start to Finish: 1 hour 30 minutes (includes chilling time)

Ingredients

1 cup packed dark-brown sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
2 cups mini marshmallows
¾ cup creamy natural unsweetened peanut butter, well stirred
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
½ teaspoon kosher salt
4 cups thin pretzel sticks, roughly chopped
4 cups unsweetened puffed-wheat cereal
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted
½ teaspoon smoked salt (or additional kosher salt)

Directions

1. Lightly grease a 9-inch-by-13-inch baking dish and set aside.
2. In a large saucepan set over medium-high heat, combine the sugar with the corn syrup, then bring the mixture to a boil. Turn off the heat, stir in the marshmallows until about half of them are melted, then stir in the peanut butter until well combined. Add the vanilla and salt. Mix in the pretzels and puffed wheat until well combined.
3. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish and, using lightly greased hands, pat it firmly into the dish. Drizzle with melted chocolate and sprinkle with smoked salt. Refrigerate for 1 hour or until firm. Once firm, slice into small bars with a hot, wet knife, then serve.

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I’m happy to announce that the extension of our emergency escape plan the flume & grotto ride is finished and undergoing final inspection and testing. If you chose the navigate the flume and grotto in one of our traditional logs you can hit the selector in the log at the appropriate time and be transferred directly on to this new section. Those choosing the tubing option will have to  climb aboard a log to take the ride.

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As you can see the Patron Members Guest accommodations are also largely complete at this time. All the rooms are unique and this one features an in suite soaking tub in front of fireplace. Perfect for winding down or up your night!

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Here is a view of one of the Powder Rooms in the Patrons Only Area.

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One of the outdoor common party areas. You can see one of the water fall features out the right window and out the left in the distance some of the cabanas.

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Another of the underground public party areas.

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As you can see the wine cellar for the facility has been amply stocked.

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As has the hard liquor bottle room 

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One of the 24/7 hot snack areas. This one’s a make your own Nachos bar at the moment.

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One of the many media rooms, this one used for you sports fanatics.

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A wee something from a favorite group of mine

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Even as a wee one I had muh life goals!

Tale of the IDIOT

Just discovered it’s Cthulhumas again. How the %!@*% did that happen? What do you suppose my chances are of finding a dragonslayer between now and having to go to family dinner?

Being a 40 ton flying dragon means your relatives simply won’t believe you’re snowed in and can’t make Cthulhumas. Sigh.

Maybe we could spend Cthulhumas with Cat’s family. Eating a few dead mice seems a small price to pay to avoid Uncle Fafnir’s pull my wing gag.

Cthulhumas; the perfect day for dragon slayers, but on the only day of the year I wouldn’t put up a fight I can’t find one. Lazy buggers. Guess it’s family dinner…And the damned cat is hiding. Fuzzy little coward.

Survived Cthulhumas dinner with family. Not nearly as bad as expected. Even got a little misty at Kayeth reading Rudolph the red-tentacled shuggoth.

Getting ready for new year’s eve. Raided the vineyard  in town and carried off four big vats of red. A little raw, but otherwise not bad.

Holy Cthulhu, but that wine had a kick! Don’t remember anything after midnight, and my head feels like it’s full of angry eels.

Head still full of eels. Worse yet I seem to have acquired a tattoo of a strange girl on my foreleg. Wish I knew who and how. Must have been some party.

Now cat is mocking me, calling me “the dragon with the girl tattoo.” Stupid cat.

Cat got sick of the snow and made me fly us to the tropics. Ated my first bird of paradise today. Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Went to sleep on beach, woke up afloat. Not sure I like this whole tides thing.

Whazza? Napping, why do you ask, cat? Thursday? Late January? Oh hell. Actually, screw it. Wake me in February.

Survived the head cold. Less sure about the baby unicorns. Turns out that glittering makes a very faint high pitched whine…

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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5 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #300 for May 20th 2015

  1. Suggestion: Put the star ratings at the bottom of the issue. By the time we finish reading your great issues, we’ve forgotten about them up top.

  2. Ginny says:

    Thanks for the great issue.

  3. Leah Diane Hanson says:

    Thanks for the roaring laugh! You nailed it with the ants!

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