D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment
A Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Enterprises Subsidiary Company
100 Dragon Mountain Road, Mythological Realm and United Mythological Creatures Nations
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and fully subscribe to the principles of Equal Employment Opportunity. Applicants and/or employees are considered for hire, promotion and job status, without regard to race, color, religion, creed, sex, marital status, national origin, age, physical appearance, mythological status, realm of origin, deity worshiped, size or magical weapon.
Name:_____________ Family Name: ____________ Nick Name: ____________
Address:_____________________ Realm: ______________________ City: ________________
Primary Means of Communication: 1Cell Phone 1Carrier Pigeon 1Smoke Signals 1USPS 1Telepathy
1Other (Please Specify) ________________________________
1. General Information:
Are you able to perform the essential job functions of the position for which you are applying with or without reasonable accommodation? 1Yes 1No If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever done anything that was considered a felony (or equivalent to your realm)? 1Yes 1No
If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever been convicted of any felony (or equivalent to your realm) in the past 7 years?
1Yes 1No If yes, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Do you consider yourself any of the following: Liberal, Leftist, Obamaite, Hillarian, Hard Core Democrat?
If you answered yes to any of the above, please put down your writing utensil and accompany the security personnel who will escort you to level six for a more in-depth and personal interview. List next of kin here: _________________________________________
2. Education, Skills & Training:
Please list last Guild Training Academy Attended: _____________________ Skill Level: _________
Please list Specialized Training: (Use additional sheet if necessary) _________________________________
Weapons Specialization: (Use additional sheet if necessary) _______________________________________
Innate Abilities due to race, creature status, etc: (i.e. Dragon Breath, Vampire Glamour, Basilisk Gaze, etc.) ________________________________________________________________________________
Any additional skills or education that you feel would help you in attaining the position to which you are applying? Please feel free to list any and all additional talents you think might help us in our decision making process: _______________________________________________________
3. Personal Information: Disclaimer: positions and employment will not be denied due to answers in this section, but due to the specialization of many of the positions here at D.R.A.G.O.N. it must be understood that some personal information must be asked:
Type of Magical Creature or Mythological Persona: ______________________________________
Any mixed breeding (such as half-elf, half-kobold, gnomish ogre, etc) __________________________________
Any special heritage (Son of Thor, Child of Superman and Poison Ivy, Last living specimen, etc) __________________
For Dragons only, please list color and alignment: _______________________________________
For Dark Elves (Drow) only, Are you a friend of or related to Do’Urden: 1Yes 1No 1Who? If who is checked, please turn in your application and leave quietly and quickly, with your head down and without looking any other individual in the eye.
Any other creature or description: ____________________________________________________
Special Note: If you are unable to fill out any of the boxes in this section, then you are obviously non-magical/mythical. If you believe you can fulfill one of the very few pure human occupations (i.e. unbelievably sexy, overwhelmingly busty or endowed, technology geek of unheard of talent) please report to the attendant your belief and if she agrees, you will be sent to the office of Mr. Leprechaun who will conduct a private interview.
Position Applying For: __________________________________ If unknown check here 1 turn in application and leave quietly. If you don’t know why you’re here, you’re obviously in the wrong place.
Salary Expected: __________ (hourly, weekly, monthly, salary, per job) It doesn’t matter, we’ll tell you what you will be paid and you will be duly compensated.
Hours Available: 1Any and all hours 1Any other answer (please turn in your application and leave quietly)
I do solemnly swear, under penalty of level 6, that all the above statements are true and have been made of my own free will, without reservation or coercion of any kind. I also attest that I have not been given any assumptions of employment and no promises have been made to me. I promise I am not a liberal democrat, welfare scumbag capable of working, just not bothering to or any other horrendous type person such as anti-police, anti-military and that I don’t believe I am entitled to anything from any person or government entity that I haven’t, myself worked for. So help me __________________________ (Fill in deity’s name here)
Signature, Mark or Chop Here: ____________________________________
Insert Finger, Paw or Talon Print Here: _____________________________
Insert Drop of Blood Here: ________________________________________
OH I want so very badly to fill out this application,, but I just cannot force myself to be untruthful to be granted access to this distinguished bureau. I hope I will be allowed to hover on the periphery of this mighty organization. I will await with baited breath the out come of my inquiry. Wishing you a marvelous day.
See? Took you 2 minutes just to write OK!
(Check the time stamps folks- It’s TRUE!)
Name: Ginny….family name Jersey Girl…Nick name ANGELWINGS
Address: Heaven…Realm: Front seat…City: Cloud Nine
Primary Means of Communication: OTHER: MY MAGIC BOX that holds all my friends and family aka Dell Lap Top
General Info: YES – YES – NO – NO
Education: Training Academy Attended…..H E L L….Skill Level: Putting out fires before they burn your ass. Specialized Training: Angel TEAM 6 Innate Abilities: Thoughtful, funny, generous…true friend. No additional skills needed….I’m just a perfect ANGEL
Personal Information: Type of Mythological Persona: ANGEL (obtained after taking a test to find out what Mythological creature I am) No mixed breeding: 100% ANGEL…. Heritage: German/Irish…meaning I’m rank with a goose step learned back in the 30’s. Irish: considered ORANGE…meaning I’m a God fearing Protestant. Also, love BOOZE
Position Applying For: Laffs and Giggles Cheer Leader
Hours: 24/7 So help me….IMPISH
Inserted my finger not specified which one used.
Drop of Blood: B POSITIVE
Well that concludes my application: will be awaiting your response.
Now…people that LOVE Dragon Laffs and pledge to Impish and Lethal….don’t be a stick in the mud…..take time to fill out this application. I believe and support Impish in his efforts to get a little group participation. That means….no lurking on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Take time to complete the application…it was FUN!!!!!
What?! You’re kidding right dude? You REALLY expect me to fill one of these out?
Tell you what, I will if you will and we both post them. Agreed?
OK so since I know you read slowly, write slower and have to spend a lot of time sharpening your crayon, shall we say Monday 18:00 CST to post them?