Leprechaun Laughs # 297 for Wednesday April 29th 2015


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Good Morning.

Please excuse me if I’m in a less than my usual jovial mood this morning. No notice 10 hour water shutoffs for planned pressure testing have a tendency to make me surly. Add this on top of something I have been stewing about since Saturday and well.. you get me like I am now.

This mornings banner is topic specific for these opening comments. Saturday a certain AFRES CBRNE Deputy Base Emergency Commander was forced to come hat in hand to me begging a favor so his troops could all see a video they felt was important to training and morale. Due largely to hind bound procedures and internet security that basically strangles access to the point of uselessness, computers equipment 2 generations behind and brand new large screen monitors in their training room that fail to have the most basic features that even my $300 LG cheap LCD TV has (USB access port).

This underlined a serious problem for me. One that certain AFRES CBRNE Deputy Base Emergency Commander cannot publically discuss because of censoring codes of acceptable conduct which don’t apply to me so I can and will.

We’re ending more and more Military Reserve personnel out to front lines in all these 1/2 assed wars due to the drawing down of the military. It’s not bad enough that liberals want to gut our military and its spending, to pay off the Entitlement minded illegals and rioting blacks while causing hardships for the Reservist’s families because they deploy 3 times in 2 years and have to live off poverty level pay. No, on top of that they are expected to perform the same as front line full time enlisted personnel BUT THEY RECEIVE, USE AND ARE TRAINED ON ANTIQUATED LEFTOVERS!

From where I sit it doesn’t take much to see this is unfair, unjust and  just plain disrespectful. Stop with the $400 ashtrays & fancy new G-4 & G-5 jets for Generals to fly all over in and give the Reservists that are doing the bulk of the fighting up to date infrastructure training and equipment!

Otherwise shortly any one in the Reserves with half a clue and any survival instinct is going to get out and avoid it like the plague its becoming. Then who they going to call up? The Boy Scouts?

I’m going to go cool off by pinning a random liberal anti military politician’s photo to my dart board and making it look like a cross stich pattern. Catch up with you later.

Enjoy the issue.

Opening Logo 17

some_eyeopening_facts_about_your_morning_coffee_16_photos0_1423380177

SACRILIDGE! LIES! HERRACY AGAINST DOCTORINE!
Impish did you send me this? That’s not funny!

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You got to wonder what’s going through that cat’s mind

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Not much going on that I can talk about at D.R.A.G.O.N. this week. the official um…logo?…seal?…LOL…business card graphic has been decided upon as you see above but that’s about all.

Apparently they’re uh..reviewing some post mission procedures and looking for a replacement debriefing agent after one suffered a serious workplace injury last Saturday, so they’ve gone into a training cycle.

This means Mr. Blue has been sent off to be introduced to his primary mode of transport [designator Dragon-2] Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, or as it has apparently been dubbed after its upgrades C2B2.

Being magically sentient and in the mechanical equivalent of hibernation for 30 years, then dragged out, woke up, delved into basically down to frame level, then reassembled while having many of your older Steampunk systems refitted/replaced with essentially Dieselpunk or higher magic, to say nothing of the few pieces of technology, has left C2B2 a bit…well churlish and conflicted (you can click the big words for explanations of them if you’re not familiar with them).

Add to this one overly enthusiastic noob agent who, as the post mission debriefing someone other than Mr. Blue’s unfortunate debriefing agent was forced to write states:

Mr.  Blue does not exhibit any tendency for thinking outside the box. Instead, it would appear to this agent, largely prefers to disregard the box altogether, unless there is the possibility of its concealing something edible. In which case box and contents are both wholly consumed.

I fear like Oppenheimer we have let a genie of an entirely different sort of of the bottle. I just hope we prove able, if not to control it, to, at least for now, direct its destructive forces away from us and against out enemies.

and you get an extremely interesting and event filled training evolution. There is serious Vegas style betting action going on as to which one winds up in control of their relationship, C2B2 or Mr. Blue.

I’m sure Imp…Mr. Blue will have more on this subject and his experiences on Saturday.

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How Is Sex Like Riding A Bicycle?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.
6. It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
7. It’s best to have a soft place to land.
8. You don’t need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
9. If you’re with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it’s usually best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
12. If you fall off, get right back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you’ve got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it’s nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you’re over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

That’s why some of them are called Mountin’ Bikes!

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PSA Recall

Lenovo just recalled 166,500 battery packs for ThinkPad notebook computers, because they can overheat and catch on fire. If you own any of the affected models, you need to turn off your computer immediately and remove the battery.

This recall involves Lenovo battery packs sold with the following ThinkPad notebook computers: the Edge 11, 13, 14, 15, 120, 125, 320, 325, 420, 425, 430, 520, 525 and 530 series; the L412, L420/421, L512 and L520 series; the T410, T420, T510 and T520 series; the W510 and W520 series; and the X100e, X120e, X121e, X130e, X200, X200s, X201, X201s, X220 and X220t series.

The recall also includes batteries that were sold separately from the computers. Affected batteries are black and measure 8 to 11 inches long, 1 to 3 inches wide and 1 inch tall.

Recalled battery packs have one of the following part numbers starting with the fourth digit in a long series of numbers and letters printed on a white sticker below the bar code on the battery pack: 42T4695, 42T4711, 42T4740, 42T4798, 42T4804, 42T4812, 42T4816, 42T4822, 42T4826, 42T4828, 42T4834, 42T4840, 42T4862, 42T4868, 42T4874, 42T4880, 42T4890, 42T4944, 42T4948, 42T4954, 42T4958, 45N1022 and 45N1050.

Lenovo has received several reports of the batteries overheating and damaging computers and other items. In one case, a Lenovo owner suffered what the company described as “skin being reddened and burn marks on the consumer’s clothing.” The recall affects 148,800 batteries sold in the U.S., and 17,700 sold in Canada.

If your battery is part of the recall, you should stop using it immediately to avoid a dangerous situation. Lenovo says you can continue to use your computer by plugging it in with the power adapter.

You should also contact Lenovo to let them know you have a defective battery. The company will provide a replacement free of charge.

http://www.cpsc.gov/en/Recalls/2015/Lenovo-Expands-Recall-of-Battery-Packs-for-ThinkPad-Notebook-Computers/

News of the Weird

Man fires 8 gunshots into his Dell PC after Blue Screens of Death push him over edge

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Jared Newman | PCWorld Apr 22, 2015 8:21 AM

A Colorado man says he has no regrets after unloading eight rounds into his dysfunctional Dell desktop, though he faces a fine for doing so.

“I just had it,” Lucas Hinch, 38, told The Smoking Gun (via Ars Technica). Apparently the PC had thrown up one too many blue screens of death in recent months, so Hinch took it into an alley, loaded up a 9mm Hi-Point pistol that he’d purchased on Craiglist, and let the bullets fly.

“It was glorious,” Hinch told the Los Angeles Times. “Angels sung on high.”

Hinch admitted that the murder was “premeditated, oh, definitely,” and that he’d made sure there was nothing behind the desktop, and nothing from which the rounds could ricochet. The deed went down behind Hinch’s home, where he and his girlfriend also run a homeopathic herb store.

Despite his precautions, Colorado Springs police issued Hinch a citation for discharging a firearm within city limits. (The local police blotter summarizes the incident as “Man Kills His Computer.”) Hinch faces a possible fine, but jail time is highly unlikely according to the Times. While the cops confiscated the gun, they left the computer behind, letting it remain a tribute to frustrated PC users everywhere.

The impact on you: Hey, we’ve all felt the pain of dealing with an overly cranky desktop before. Kudos to this guy for letting us live vicariously through his act of retaliation—and absorbing the legal ramifications so we don’t have to.

Lexington woman being strangled with bra fights off attacker with ceramic chicken

LEXINGTON, Ky. (WKYT) – Police say they arrested a 31 year old Lexington woman after she strangled a stranger with her bra.

“I thought I was going to die that night,” said the victim, Patricia Leece.

She survived the bizarre attack but the 61 year old says it will take a long time to recover. Her face is bruised and scratched, her arms are scraped and she is missing patches of hair.

“It happened about 12:30 the other night. Someone came to my doors, banging, screaming and hollering.”

Leece says she opened the door to her home on Harrogate Road because she thought it was her granddaughter.

Instead, she tells WKYT that the woman standing there was Ashley Sies. Leece says the 31 year old pushed her way inside and wrapped her bra around her neck.

“She choked me down and we fought for a good 15 to 20 minutes. Finally I saw one of my (ceramic) chickens on the floor so I picked it up and started bashing her on the head with it,” Leece explained.

After she knocked her out, she called police.

Investigators say Sies appeared to be on drugs and thought she was being followed when she showed up on Leece’s porch early Monday morning.

“She was going door to door hoping someone would let her in. Of course it was me,” said Leece.

Sies is charged with first-degree burglary but more charges could be on the way because Leece says she will press charges.

http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/Lexington-Police-Woman-burglarizes-home-attacks-homeowner-with-bra-298105261.html

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Among others things these people are often called Democrats, Liberals, Obamites or Congressmen.

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Pizza cupcakes?  Why wasn’t I informed about this until now?

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[Crescent Rolls or the Pizza dough in the tube works well]

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They fail to mention a teaspoon of pizza sauce (you can buy it in a jar or use Marinara sauce. I use a pasty brush  or the back of the spoon to wipe it around the inside. This is one of the few times you’ll hear me say this…BE STINGY with the sauce, LESS IS MORE!  It doesn’t take near as much as you think or you’ll get a really soggy sloppy end product!

Use precooked meat products for best results

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No fresh basil? Me either. I just use a pinch of Italian Seasoning mixed with a pinch of garlic powder,  onion powder & Parmesan & Romano Cheese. 1/4 teaspoon of each is enough. Don’t for get a pinch of red pepper flakes either!

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You’ll need to eyeball them time wise because all muffin pans are different. I set my oven for 350 which means its closer to 375 and they take roughly 18 to 20 minutes depending on how full of stuff we cram them. It will actually make a difference in cooking time depending what you are filling them with- another reason to use precooked items if they contain a lot of fat or liquid that will come out when cooking. I recommend getting the turkey pepperoni for this because it is way less greasy and you can find smaller coins that the fatter real stuff which fit better.

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Weak Knees Alert

This alert applies to all recipes beyond this point, you have been warned!

Espresso Brownies

Instead of knocking back espresso, use fine-ground espresso powder to give brownies an extra shot of intensity. Whisk two tablespoons and a handful of chocolate chips to boost boxed brownie mix, and top it all off with an espresso-infused vanilla glaze.

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Ingredients

Nonstick vegetable oil cooking spray
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons espresso powder
1 (19.8-ounce) box brownie mix (recommended: Duncan Hines)
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, room temperature

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Spray a 9 by 13-inch baking pan with nonstick spray. Whisk 1/3 cup of water, oil, eggs, and 2 tablespoons espresso powder in a large bowl to blend. Add the brownie mix. Stir until well blended. Stir in the chocolate chips. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 35 minutes. Cool completely.

Meanwhile, dissolve the remaining 2 teaspoons of espresso powder in the remaining 2 tablespoons of water in a medium bowl. Whisk in the vanilla. Add the powdered sugar and butter and whisk until smooth. Pour the glaze over the brownies. Refrigerate until the glaze is set. Cut into bite-size pieces. Arrange the brownies on a platter and serve.

Just because I can’t leave a recipe alone w/o making it mine. I pulsed a few chocolate covered Espresso Beans and a few Macadamia Nuts in the food processor until coarsely chopped and sprinkled them on top just before the glaze set. For a twist ditch 2 tablespoons of water and replace it with 2 tablespoons of Baileys Irish Cream.

Fresh strawberry upside-down cake

Layer fresh, gorgeously red strawberries on the bottom of a pan and pour in the batter. As it bakes, the berries form a sweet, caramelized layer. So all you have to do is invert the cake onto a platter and…you’re done. Except for adding the whipped cream with dark chocolate shavings on top and basking in the compliments in between the moans of guilty pleasure!

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Makes one 9-inch cake | Start to Finish: 55 minutes

Ingredients

11 tablespoons butter, at room temperature, divided
3 tablespoons plus ½ cup brown sugar
1 quart strawberries, hulled and thinly sliced into rounds
2/3 cup whole-wheat flour
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
¾ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2/3 cup Greek yogurt

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.? Butter a 9-inch cake pan with 3 tablespoons butter. (Lightly coat the sides and use more butter on the bottom of the pan.)

2. Sprinkle 3 tablespoons brown sugar into the base of the cake pan in a nice, even coat. Layer the strawberries on top of the sugar in the pan.

3. In a large bowl, whisk the whole-wheat flour with the all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.

4. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the remaining 8 tablespoons butter and ½ cup brown sugar until light and fluffy, 4 to 5 minutes. Add the egg and vanilla, then mix until well combined, 1 to 2 minutes more. ?

5. Add the dry ingredients to the mixing bowl and mix just until combined.? Add the yogurt and mix just until incorporated. Pour the finished batter over the strawberries. (The batter will be a little thick, so drop a few dollops into the pan and use a spatula to spread it evenly.) ?

6. Bake the cake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes. Let the cake cool for 15 minutes inside the pan, then run a spatula around the edge and invert the cake onto a platter or stand. Cool completely before eating.

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Damned Liberal Sea Gulls! Always looking for free food and free rides! Bet he swiped some of the Pirates Poligrip too!

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Former First Lady, Senator and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton finally  announced she’s running for President.

The Top 5 Overheard During Hillary’s Presidential Announcement

  1. “She quit the Senate in the middle of a term, and quit the administration in the middle of a term. Let’s elect her. We could get lucky again!”
  2. “Hey, here’s the missing server everyone’s been – aaaggghhhh! I’ve been hit!”
  3. “I haven’t been this surprised by an announcement since Lance Bass outed himself!”
  4. “It’s your job to distract Bill if he turns up. Here are your knee pads.”

And the Number One Thing Overheard During the Hillary Clinton Presidential Announcement…

  1. “Well, with that now out of the way, the question becomes who are the Democrats going to put up in 2024?”

At the rate things are going its likely to be Chelsea Clinton or Malia Obama!

 

Import of wasting time

The elevator video from One World Trade Center is pure brilliance

Have you had the opportunity to visit the new One World Trade Center yet? If not, you might want to plan a trip soon. Starting next month, this amazing, historically accurate time-lapse video will play on the ride to the observation deck. Watch this stunning, heartbreaking video to see it for yourself.

http://www.nytimes.com/video/nyregion/100000003637210/sky-pods-show-rise-of-new-york-skyline.html?playlistId=1194811622241

This one falls under the heading of “Ok how the hell did he do that?”

 

 

Straight Facts

SEEMS MEXICO IS ANGRY WITH ARIZONA

[We must be doing something right then!] 

ETO_Verified

 

http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/mexicoangry.asp

 

The shoe is on the other foot and the Mexicans from the State of Sonora,
Mexico does not like it.  Can you believe the nerve of these people? It’s
almost funny.  The State of Sonora is angry at the influx of Mexicans into
Mexico ! !

The state legislators from the Mexican State of Sonora traveled to Tucson to
complain about Arizona ‘s new employer crackdown on illegals from Mexico.
It seems that many Mexican illegals are returning to their hometowns and the
officials in the Sonora state government are ticked off.
  A delegation of
nine state legislators from Sonora was in Tucson on Tuesday to state that
Arizona’s new ‘Employer Sanctions Law’ will have a devastating effect on the
Mexican state. At a news conference, the legislators said that Sonora, –
Arizona’s southern neighbor – made up of mostly small towns – cannot handle
the demand for housing, jobs and schools that it will face as Mexican
workers return to their home towns from the USA without jobs or money.

The Arizona law, which took effect Jan. 1, punishes Arizona employers who
knowingly hire individuals without valid legal documents to work in the
United States.  Penalties include suspension of, or loss of, their business
license.  The Mexican legislators are angry because their own citizens are
returning to their hometowns, placing a burden on THEIR state government
instead of ours.
 

‘How can Arizona pass a law like this?’ asked Mexican Rep Leticia
Amparano-Gamez, who represents Nogales.  ‘There is not one person living in
Sonora who does not have a friend or relative working in Arizona,’ she said,
speaking in Spanish.  ‘Mexico is not prepared for this, for the tremendous
problems it will face as more and more Mexicans working in Arizona and who
were sending money to their families return to their home towns in Sonora
without jobs,’ she said ‘We are one family, socially and economically,’ she
said of the people of Sonora and Arizona .

Wrong! The United States is a sovereign nation, not a subsidiary of Mexico,
and its taxpayers are not responsible for the welfare of Mexico’s citizens.
It’s time for the Mexican government, and its citizens, to stop feeding
parasitically off the United States and to start taking care of its/their
own needs.

Too bad that other states within the USA don’t pass a law just like that
passed by Arizona.  Maybe that’s the answer, since our own Congress will do
nothing!
[Too many Mexicans with their loyalty tied to Mexico and not the US in Congress for that too ever happen]

*New Immigration Laws*

Be sure to read to the bottom or you will miss the message…  
1. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.  
2. All ballots will be in this nation’s language.
3. All government business will be conducted in our language.
4. Non-residents will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are
here.

5. Non-citizens will NEVER be able to hold political office[What I just say about too many Mexicans in Congress?!]
6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food
stamps, no health care, or any other government assistance programs. Any who
are a burden will be deported.

7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount at least
equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.
8. If foreigners come here and buy land, their options will be restricted.
Certain parcels including waterfront property are reserved for citizens
naturally born into this country.
9. Foreigners may have NO protests; NO demonstrations, NO waving of a
foreign flag, no political organizing, NO bad-mouthing our president or his
policies. These will lead to deportation.

10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be actively hunted
and, when caught, sent to jail until your deportation can be arranged. All
assets will be taken from you.

Too strict?  The above laws are the current immigration laws of MEXICO!
If it’s good for American’s to obey Mexican laws, then it’s good vice
versa!!!

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Tale of the IDIOT

When last we left him Impish was in the throws of an epic case of heartburn from a midnight snack of unpeeled roasted knight.

Having a back to basics week. Going on a maiden fast—fresh squeezed only, and no solid food i.e. knights for seven days.

More back to basics. Going to do the dragon equivalent of yoga now—hoard sitting. My mantra: Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly!

Already tired of fresh squeezed maidens. Did I really agree to do this for a whole week? Stupid diets.

A whole troupe of Cthulhu’s Witnesses came to door today, but am on stupid maidens only diet so I couldn’t ated them. Repeatedly smacking head on wall now.

Another day another six pack of maidens. My cat says the diet is making me crazy and I should eat what I want. I love my cat.

Woke up with cat asleep on head. Cat still there ten hours later. Guess I didn’t need to do anything today anyway. Upside, no diet today.

Woo-hoo, fresh squeezed maiden diet is over! I’m going out to Flamers and ordering an entire bucket of hot knights with a side of dwarf-kebabs, and sushi boat for cat.

Ran into a trollscout jamboree on way home from my dinner at Flamers. Must have been two hundred of the little beggars. I can’t believe I ated the whole thing…

Was reminded this morning that when dragons get heartburn it’s heartBURN. Belched a seventy foot pillar of flame and made cat go all fluffy. Sorry cat. Stupid trollscouts.

The Cthulhu’s witnesses came back! They were delicious. Please send more cultists.

Cat found little man with fuzzy feet sneaking in by back door. I ated him. Tasted like pipe weed and ponies. Bleah.

Now that’s more like it! Little furry feet had 13 dwarf friends come looking for him. Ated the lot. I do love fresh toasted dwarves.

Angry man with long white beard and pointy hat showed up and started shaking staff at me and yelling about dwarves and furry-feet. Was immune to toasting, but I ated him anyway. Not sitting very well.

Bleah. The old man with the pointed hat and beard is really not sitting well. Maybe shouldn’t have ated staff. Cat says it’s my own fault for meddling in the affairs of wizards. Stupid cat.

Just passed a wizard. My advice: Do not, under any circumstance, ated one. Seriously NOT sparkly.

Have a real hankering for dwarves. Apparently, you can’t eat just 13.

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 297 for Wednesday April 29th 2015

  1. Ginny says:

    Take your bows for another great issue. Loved the video going to the top of One World Trade Center’s Observation Deck. Now getting into the Weak Knees area…..OMG the brownies brought me down this week. I must say the pizza muffins looked “YUMMY” too. It isn’t hard to keep extra weight on with a friend like Lethal….haven’t been kidnapped yet!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Nor will you be anytime soon! Next week amoung other things is Banana Muffins with Mascarpone Cream Frosting

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