Leprechaun Laughs # 295 for Wednesday April 15th 2015


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You’re in a rush this morning carrying reams of papers and receipts looking to avail yourself of Lethal’s annual generous offer of help you with hiding your income from the government filing your federal income taxes and seeing you pay your fair & just share for others to freeload off. To your horror the room looks nothing like what you have come to expect the issue before Tax Day, in fact its not any different than normal.

The only non-normal thing you see is the discussion going on on the dais between Lethal & Friday on one side and Impish Ginny & Diaman on the other. The point of contention seems to be a list of requests or requisitions from Impish related to his new status as an Agent for D.R.A.G.O.N. Code Name: Mr. Blue- Ice Blue.

Requisitions already? You haven’t even done agent training or gotten an assignment as yet! OK! OK Lemme see what you have. Bloody Beggorah! That many? good thing I’m prepared! Friday haul out that stamp I told you we were going to need.

Friday starts stamping the requisition forms before passing them to Lethal who reviews them and makes notations in the stamped area before handing them back to Impish.

(Lethal sighs mightily) Ok let’s have at it…Request for your own Titanium AmEx or access to mine when I deny you your ownDENIED!  Lethal ticks off the appropriate box on stamped area and adds a notation. You’re getting a prepaid debit card and liking it. This isn’t a low budget operation, it’s a no budget operation until we steal some bad guy assets. Only enough money for each op is getting added to the card. Next!

Requisition for a new wardrobe of you and Agents D & G? Hmm well I can see where the ladies will need some classy evening wear, several LBDs and the like you have a point. Yes I agree your human form will need a tuxedo, several full suits, slacks and sports jackets. Appro…

BUDGET $50,000 pounds sterling??!! WTF you planning on shopping Hong Kong? Savile Row in London?!DENIED!DENIED! 

You’ll go to Lord & Taylor & Men’s Wearhouse. Dontworryboutit- You’re gonna like the way you look. The ladies will have to do with Sax Fifth Avenue and Kohl’s though I will approved a $500 trip for each to Victoria’s Secret. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly from what not to wear will be accompanying the appropriate sexes to make sure you look the part without breaking my bank. YEs Impish you do have good taste-when it comes to food not clothes. Push it and its going to be Target and Kmart your shopping capiche? Good. Next!

Transportation Requisition- Aston Martin DB-8 for personal use or access to my Maybach Exelero?! Are you INSANE?! That car is a one off! Literally the only one! Especially after I had it customized even further!– DENIED!

I’ll let you have use of that V-6 modified Opel GT with the Viper body kit in my collection. The one with the full body skirts and flares and the custom spoiler. They used to be called the poor man’s Vette anyhow so it fits. Bells and whistles? OK I’ll pop for a full first aid kit, a Tom-Tom and have D-Star installed. D-Star? Think OnStar sort of only run by D.R.A.G.O.N. No no Siri, you get connected to Agatha the Asura at the switch board. Sure you know her! Snake tail, curvaceously killer fit body, 4 buff arms, fangs, talons and forked tongue? Yup she’s the voice behind D-Star. Next!

Request of suggestions/approval of signature flairs/trademarks/colorful personality traits for Mr. Blue identity. Cited precedent references to James Bond, Tony Stark, Our Man Flint, Napoleon Solo, Mike Hammer and Spencer for Hire. Harrumph! You forget Austin Powers? Deliberately omitted? Might I ask why? Afraid of the possibility of walking to a harem of Virginal Fembots?! Well ok, I guess I can see that being a remote possibility as well as a potential weakness for you, so points for thinking ahead.

Look, I’ve got an issue to get started here  and the rabble readers are getting ugly frantic about the apparently lack of my free tax preparation facilities/advice. They’re probably scared due to the pervasive rumors going around about the Infernal Revenue having gotten access to alien tech form Area 51. Allegedly they’re using those not so imaginary Alien Anal Probes during audits in an attempt to locate hidden untaxed assets.

ROFL! You’re right Impish it DOES elevate the term audit trail to a whole new level! LMBO! OK let me think about this request until we get the announcements over and the issue started and then we can get back to these requisitions. Give me 10 minutes don’t go anyplace.

Good morning Ladies and Gentleman of the readership and RELAX ALREADY!

Taxes are simply being done in a different location due to the construction and our current Big Nosey Brother security problems. You received a number as you walked in you’ll be called in groups of 20 by those numbers and taken to the tax prep area once the issue is under way.

Several people join Lethal on stage,  you recognize the nondescript and faceless appearance of Chief of Security Noname.  Beside him stands his doppelganger or clone, (when dealing with the mythical community one is never quite sure which), next to them stand three figures dressed in grey monks robes with their cowls up and faces obscured.

Before that happens I have a few announcements:

Owing to the recent upsurge in his work load due to the increase of incursions and security violations all this expansion has brought on Noname’s twin brother Nobody will be joining him as assistant Head of Security. His office will be in the Gateway Building to our new recreation facility.

Additionally because of the increased size of our security staff and the future workload increases we foresee for Noname & Nobody, we’ve hire four Security Specialist Supervisors to assist with the  day to day security operations. Please meet Messrs. Specter, Shade & Revenant. Unfortunately the fourth Mr. Ghost was unable to make himself manifest for this meeting.

That concludes the announcements thank you for you kind attention and patience. Now if there is nothing furth… Paul B.? A question? The Alien Anal Probe rumors? Well as of now they are only that- just rumors. What if someone get audited, well we’ll send someone to answer questions about the preparation free of charge just like every other year. Probed during auditing? No I don’t expect that my experts are about to submit to that on anyone’s behalf. OH! YOU want to volunteer to be probed if it comes up! I see! I always knew there was something slightly off about you Paul! Please mention it to your tax preparer you kinky SOAB!

Now if there is nothing further Impish is anxious to burry me under another pile of requisitions I’m sure. Please enjoy the issue and someone will be here shortly to escort the first group to my tax prep specialists.

Opening Logo 8

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Tax Day Freebies 2015: Get Free Burgers, Cookies & More on April 15 (McDonalds, Deals & Coupons)

Itemizing all those receipts before filing taxes can be pretty soul-crushing. Why not enjoy some discounts and freebies?

A slate of companies — most of them restaurant chains — offer annual rebates on and around April 15. And putting aside whether the whole thing is a cheap marketing gimmick or not, free froyo and a pro bono back massage sound pretty sweet.

Here’s a list of places offering a break even if Uncle Sam doesn’t:

Don’t forget! You still have time to File your Taxes Online for FREE! Get all the details on Free Tax Filing for your state and File your Federal Returns online for Free as well!

Hard Rock Cafe will give you a free Local Legendary Burger, but first you have to literally sing for your supper — specifically, an entire rock song (lyrics will be provided) onstage. Worth it?

McDonald’s: Big Macs and Quarter Pounders are buy one, get one for just $0.01 on April 15 at select McDonald’s locations.

Olive Garden: A buy one, take one deal gets customers two entrées from a select menu starting at just $12.99. Or you can claim a coupon good for $6 off a dinner for two here.

Great American Cookies is sweetening Tax Day with one free sugar cookie per customer in stores, no purchase necessary.

McDonald’s customers who buy one Big Mac or Quarter Pounder with Cheese can get another for only a penny.

Pizza Hut is offering free pies … sort of. You have to file a “P-2″ form, which asks you, among other questions, to calculate your “Net Pizza Consumption” and submit it for a chance to receive Pizza Hut gift cards in the amount of your net pizza return.

Sonic is offering half-price cheeseburgers all day.

Schlotzsky’s will give away one free small original sandwich (packed with ham, salami, cheddar, black olives and more) per customer with the purchase of a 32-ounce drink and a bag of chips.

California Tortilla is handing out free chips and queso or salsa to anyone who makes a purchase and says the secret password: “Taxes Shmaxes” — the chain prefers that you say it “in a bored, funny voice” to make it more “fun.”

Boston Market fans can grab two meals for the price of one, whether it be a whole sandwich, salad bowl or other entree option.

Bruegger’s Bagels: Get a Bagel Bundle that includes 13 bagels and two cream cheese tubs for just $10.40 from April 11 to April 15 with a coupon sent to members of Bruegger’s Bagels’ eClub.

Burger King: Use this coupon to claim a buy one, get one free offer on Whoppers through April 19.

Outback Steakhouse: Celebrate the end of taxes with a steak dinner, and use this coupon to get 15 percent off at checkout through May 3.

Sonny’s BBQ is offering half-priced rib dinners (usually $12.50).

BLT Prime & BLT Steak locations are offering half off all alcoholic beverages.

Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt‘s fans can fill up a container with froyo (up to 16 oz.) and as many toppings as that cup can physically hold for only $4.15. “Like” Orange Leaf on Facebook and claim the offer when it’s posted on April 14 — print the confirmation or show it on your smartphone at the store.

Tax Day Food Discounts:

Savvy shoppers should head to the grocery store on April 15 since Whole Foods will not be charging customers sales tax on purchases made on Tax Day. For some customers, this could be a nice bit of savings since tax rates vary across the country. Check with your local Whole Foods store to be sure that they are participating.

Want a discount on food? Try P.F. Chang’s. This chain is offering 15% off food, dine-in or take out, on April 15. The 15% discount is not available on Happy Hour specials or alcoholic beverages. IHOP lets kids eat free every night in April between the hours of 4 P.M. and 10 P.M., so take your tax deductions (age 12 and under) out to dinner for free on April 15 or any other night in April.

Subway customers in select markets in North Carolina and Virginia (Greenville, Greensboro, Wilmington, Raleigh, Richmond, and Norfolk) can save some bucks on subs at Subway during their Tax Day customer appreciation day. On Thursday, April 15 only, sub lovers in those markets can avail themselves of a buy one foot long, get one free deal.

Chik-Fil-A – watch their Facebook page for annual event specifics (participating restaurants only)

Chili’s – watch their Facebook page for annual event specifics

16 Tax Day Deals From Retailers Like Staples and Express In addition to Tax Day food freebies and deals, GOBankingRates also found a number of offers from retailers. We found the most offers on apparel, as well as sports and outdoor gear, books, and office suppliers.

  • Alloy: A RetailMeNot-exclusive code, AVDRMN, gets shoppers 15 percent to 30 percent off purchases, with shoppers saving more as they spend more. Offer valid through April 30.
  • Ann Taylor: Get 25 percent off full-price items with the coupon code ANNT3BE, good through April 30.
  • Babies”R”Us: Shoppers can use this coupon to get $8 off Pampers or Huggies value boxes of diapers, valid through April 30.
  • Barnes & Noble: With taxes out of the way you might have time to catch up on your reading. If so, use coupon code X8W8L3A when shopping online to get 20 percent off a single item through May 1; exclusions apply.
  • Bon-Ton: Use this coupon to get $25 off when spending $75 or more through April 30.
  • Cabela’s: Shoppers can save online only during the Cyberwalk Sale, which has sporting gear and outdoor equipment marked down up to 60 percent through April 15.
  • Carter’s: Get 25 percent off purchases of $40 and up with code OKSP1514.
  • Dress Barn: Get 20 percent off a purchase by using promo code MMAR20 through April 21.
  • Express: Use coupon code 9068 online or this coupon in store to get 15 percent off through April 30. Some exclusions apply.
  • Finish Line: Through April 30, get $10 off purchases of $100 or more with coupon code APRIL10.
  • Foot Locker: Get 10 percent off when spending $50 or more online when you use code LKS10AFD through April 30.
  • Gap: Shoppers will get $25 of GapCash for every $50 spent through April 26 that can be redeemed May 13 through May 17.
  • HydroMassage: You can get a free HydroMassage experience with this coupon, valid April 13 through April 17.
  • Justice: Get 40 percent off an entire purchase through April 16 by presenting this coupon at checkout.
  • L.L.Bean: Get a $10 gift card for every $50 spent through April 19.
  • Lane Bryant: Save up to $75 with code APRILGCLB through April 22. Savings are tiered by purchase minimums; spending $75 yields a $25 discount, $150 gets you $50 off or $75 off $225.

 

 

 

Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

April 10 marks the anniversary of Harry “Col. Sherman Potter” Morgan’s birth in 1915 as well as of Larry “Maj. Frank Burns” Linville’s death in 2000, and we’re remembering them with a quiz. Are you a Hawkeye or a Hot Lips? Col. Potter or Col. Blake? Take our M*A*S*H personality quiz and find out which character from the book, movie or TV show best matches you.

http://www.legacy.com/news/did-you-know/which-mash-character-are-you/1954/

I came out BJ Hunnicutt if you can believe that one!

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Ok Impish thanks for being patient. I’ve considered your request of suggestions/approval of signature flairs/trademarks/colorful personality traits for Mr. Blue identity and I know you well enough to know how you think and operate. This one is going to be a real sticking whining point with you isn’t it. Ah-huh! See?! There’s the tell right there! The beaten puppy look and you’re attempt to inflate you lower lip to 80 PSI and make it quiver while whimpering!

Stow it though its not going to work, I’m already on to you. Besides I’ve decided I agree with you on this. However I don’t see you as any of those presidents you cited. If I had to pick one? Maxwell Smart. MIND THE LIP INFLATION- you bloody well asked after all! OK lets get down to specifics shall we?

Overall theme: Hmm damned difficult since all the obvious ones have been done. I know! STEAMPUNK! You’re an aficionado right? PERFECT! I don’t think there’s ever been a Steampunk themed spy before and it should make for great comedy ah…err I mean cover.

However this is going to require some adjustment to things. Like what? Well no more Opel GT Viper for one, you’ll drive Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang instead. More in with the persona’s overall theme and besides it also cover short range and and water transportation as well. Don’t worry! We’ll figure out how to get D-Star in there in as Steampunk a manner as possible. One of those old Bridge to Engineering Voice Tubes should hide the electronics quite nicely and we’ll just rig the navigation to display on the windscreen. Hmm I’ve quite a collect of those old nixie digital number vacuum tubes, maybe we can digitize her dash for you.

Guess your clothes are going to require rethinking too. NO! NOT HARRODS EITHER! I see a lot of hipster & thrift stores in your future looking for Victorian era style wear. I’ll put a couple of the Fae from Purchasing on it since they are about as addicted to shopping as you were to pies. You need a cloak or better yet a Duster, maybe something like Nathan Fillian’s Brown Coat from Firefly.

Also give me back those airline cards I got you. OH QUITCHERBITCHIN ALREADY! You’re getting feckling up graded! NO, I’m not reconsidering your request for Thunderbird 2 as your personal transport! That doesn’t even exist! They were puppets! The whole model was only 1.5 foot long! Something I was playing with for the next Hot Air Balloon Festival- half hot air balloon and half Zeppelin with a huge dragon shaped crew and passenger compartment under it. Think that bad remake of the Wild Wild West with Will Smith. Ah! See? Your liking it already!

Theme song well the obvious choice is just ludicrous, no not the rapper! I mean we can’t be as obvious as to use Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang now can we? Hmm we need something that says both Steampunk & danger. Here this should do nicely-

“O’ Dead Armoured Sky” by The Synthetic Dream Foundation

 

Signature drink: Let see you’re a Dragon so lets go with a Dragon’s Breath. It’s based of a Prairie Fire which is a jigger of tequila and 10 drops of Tabasco. For our drink it’s a 4/5 jigger of Everclear Grain alcohol and 1/5 Jamaican Scotch Bonnet Pepper sauce neat.

Watch with cool tricks in it: a little hard to do with it having to be Steampunk and all. I’ll see about putting an apple watch inside a pocket watch case or something like that. Maybe I can hide a Bluetooth head set in your goggles somehow to go with it. Make sure it takes pictures too? I’m not sure iWatches do that, but your fountain pen will along with write and dispense either acid or poison.

You want the car to talk to you? Like KITT in Knight Rider in case you get lonely? Dude you’ll have the Nav system and D-Star. IF you’re going to be that lonely I’ll assign you a partner/pet  either a Ninja cat, Brutus has been making noise about getting out of the complaint department and stretching his claws so to speak or Sylvia the Sphinx, which do you prefer? A little alone time never hurt anyone? Good choice!

Personal private code like Our Man Flint? Dude seriously? You speak what 4 different mythical languages not counting Dragonese? Just use one already-instant code! What ASS has evil mythical creatures on their side already? I suppose its possible, I mean I wouldn’t put it past Harpies to be working for them. I know, just use your Jersey accent while speaking the mythical language. Hell half the US can’t understand English spoken with a Jersey accent so we should be good to go then.

Really cool personal weapon (cites reference to Man From Uncle pistols) got you covered dude and its already Steampunked out.

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You’d better take damned fine care of it too because it holds a special place in my heart, see it’s the first weapon I ever designed under my Armageddon Advanced Armaments label. What’s it do? Well it will do a lot of different thing depending on how its set, but for now I’ve locked it in its safest non deadly mode- The Somnambulizer.

The Somnambulizer? Well it sort of puts people to sleep but a sleep level where they are more biddable and mobile. Sort of umm…like sleepwalking. They’re asleep but they’ll follow limited brief instructions. You can’t make them drive 100 miles home and go to bed but you could shoot a guy in a hallway and make him go back to his office and sleep for a couple hours. Or you could shoot a guard and have him remain standing at his post asleep and oblivious as long as you don’t wake him or startle him. Understand?

NO!-NOT-LIKE-THAT!-THE-OTHER-WAY! THAT’S-BACKWAYS!-KEEP-YOUR- FINGER-OFF…the trigger…. WHUMP! Clatter (Lethal sighs disgustedly and retrieves the weapon) Impish! You’ll get up off the floor and dance the Stroll all the way back to your office where you’ll curl up on your daybed and nap until lunch time. Do it now please.

Impish picks himself up off the floor and proceeds to to the 50’s line dance The Stroll out of the Conference Room and as evidenced by the giggles on down the hall to the elevator. Lethal mutters to himself while making notes to revisit MR Blue’s theme song and perhaps change it to the more appropriate “Wipeout”

 

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Well I had thought to keep this header under wraps for a few more months but since yet another clowns has declared early I guess I can’t wait any longer.

Kentucky Tea Party’s Rand Paul joins 2016 presidential race

I’ll let you read the article if you want I’m only going to quote the 2 paragraphs that made his announcement, to me comment worthy:

Perhaps reflecting the challenges he faces in convincing his critics he deserves the nomination, Paul is also leaving open the door to a second term in the Senate. With the backing of his state’s senior senator, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Paul is likely to seek the White House and the Senate seat at the same time.

One of his likely presidential rivals, Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida, has said he would not double-dip on the ballot. He is expected to announce next week that he will skip a Senate re-election bid in 2016 in favor of putting everything into a presidential campaign.

Double dipping smacks of professional politician something founding fathers never envisioned or would have agreed with and a certain level of insincerity and lack of belief in his chances. If that’s so, then why is he throwing his name in the ring in the first place?

Republican Rubio starts White House bid, says ‘uniquely qualified’

(Reuters) – U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida told top donors on Monday that he will run for the White House because he is “uniquely qualified” to represent the Republican Party in the 2016 presidential race, a source familiar with the matter said.

Rubio, a son of Cuban immigrants who rode the anti-establishment Tea Party wave of 2010 to national prominence, will formally announce his presidential bid later on Monday with a speech at Miami’s Freedom Tower.

Rubio’s support registers in single digits in opinion polls of the likely contenders in what is expected to be a crowded Republican presidential field. But aides believe Rubio, who was on 2012 nominee Mitt Romney’s short list for vice president, will rise when voters take a closer look at him.

He will be the third Republican to formally announce a White House bid, following Republican Senators Ted Cruz of Texas and Rand Paul of Kentucky.

While he owes his success to the Tea Party movement, Rubio also has drawn support from more traditional party elements as well as the libertarian-leaning network assembled by billionaire Charles and David Koch.

His effort to overhaul the United States’ immigration system could be a sticking point for Republican conservatives, many of whom view any move to grant legal status to undocumented workers as “amnesty.”

Rubio worked with Senate Democrats to pass a sweeping immigration reform bill in 2013 that bolstered border security and guest-worker programs with a pathway to citizenship for those now in the country illegally. The measure died in the Republican-controlled House of Representatives.

Rubio now says any immigration reforms must be passed piece by piece, with border security coming first, a position more in line with other Republican lawmakers. But he talks frequently about the central role immigrants play in revitalizing the United States.

Between Rubio & Cruz it seems like the Cubans what their turn for a minority President handing them all the things they have wanted while others pay for it.

Hillary Clinton enters 2016 race

Again read it if you’d like I’m just going to quote a pertinent section and make my comment about that and add 2 thoughts:

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, a longtime Clinton ally who managed her campaign for Senate in 2000, said Sunday that he was in no rush to endorse her.

De Blasio said he would wait to endorse any Democrat “until I see an actual vision of where they want to go.” Speaking on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” he offered kind words for Clinton, but added, “We need to see the substance.”

My Comment: Wow! Major league bad starting sign when one of your former campaign managers won’t back you!

My Two Thoughts:  Benghazi & Email gate. Can she really be trusted as President?

You know in retrospect I just might have to change the name of this feature from “Clown in Chief Campaign” to “The Usual Suspect Suspects Line Up for the Presidency

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Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Act that allows businesses to refuse service to people based on their religious beliefs.

The Top 5 Overheard During the Signing of Indiana’s Religious Freedom Act

  1. “This law AND those drapes are gonna have to go.”
  2. “Curse your very tongue! Xargol the Seven-Teated-One forbids barbecue sauce upon a pizza! Be gone, blasphemer!”
  3. “After we sign this, people of all religions will get along just fine from now on, right?”
  4. “You mean this law could feasibly cover ALL sinners? Where will the government officials go to eat now?”

And the Number One Thing Overheard During the Signing of Indiana’s Religious Freedom Act…

  1. “Big deal. I work for the DMV, where we discriminate against *everybody*.”

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And YES, Impish, “Et tu Leprechaun!” There’ve been plenty of Texas jokes in your issues its about time a little egg decorated the faces of you Hoosiers!

 

 

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Bacon-and-Egg Potato Salad

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Ingredients

2 pounds small red-skinned potatoes, quartered
1 pound bacon, chopped
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
3/4 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons whole-grain mustard
6 scallions, finely chopped
1 medium red onion, diced
1 tablespoon sugar
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Directions

Put the potatoes in a medium saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium and cook until fork-tender, about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, sauté the bacon in a skillet over low heat until crispy, about 12 minutes. Drain on paper towels. (In a hurry? Use precooked bacon- 3 minutes or less in microwave and its ready to use) Yes Impish you can use turkey bacon.

Put the eggs in a small saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring to a boil, then remove from the heat, cover and let stand 6 minutes. Drain and run under cold water to cool; peel and chop.

Drain the potatoes (do not rinse), transfer to a baking sheet and let cool 6 to 8 minutes. In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, mayonnaise, mustard, scallions, red onion, sugar, and salt and pepper to taste. Transfer the potatoes to a large bowl and add the bacon and hard-cooked eggs; fold in the mayonnaise mixture. Serve at room temperature.

I add some chopped celery heart (leaves included) or celery, parsley  if I don’t have celery hearts plus a little dill. This also works well with leftover spiral sliced ham and I’ve even seen it done a couple times with Spam as a cold dinner on a hot day. That’s diced yellow pepper on top in the photo but a diced red, yellow or orange pepper would make a colorful addition. Lastly I like to use a 1/2 cup of mayo and a 1/4 cup of sour cream as it gives it more of a loaded baked potato flavor.

Yes Impish low fat mayo or plain Greek yogurt is ok in place of the mayo!

Broccoli & Noodles Supreme

Great fast side for Chicken Pork Sausage or Fish. For a one dish meal add canned chicken or tuna at the end. Try it with peas & carrots instead of broccoli. Use Cream of Mushroom in place of Cream of chicken or toss in a can of sliced mushrooms to kick it up. Finally to really impress garnish each serving with toasted bread crumb topping.

Campbell's Broccoli & Noodles Supreme Recipe

Prep 10 min.

Total 35 min.

Serves 5

(about 1 1/4 cups each)

Cook: 25 min.

 

The trick to this simply delicious recipe is that the broccoli and noodles cook together…mixed with a creamy, cheesy sauce, this 35-minute dish is really good!

What You’ll Need

6 ounces (about 3 cups) uncooked medium egg noodles
2 cups fresh or frozen broccoli florets
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup or Fat Free Cream of Chicken Soup (if you’re a dragon eating healthy)
1/2 cup sour cream (Dragon tip: Don’t use low fat- it breaks too easily when heated)
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

How to Make It

  • 1 Cook the noodles according to the package directions. Add the broccoli for the last 5 minutes of cooking time. Drain the noodle mixture well in a colander. Return the noodle mixture to the saucepan.
  • 2 Stir the soup, sour cream, cheese and black pepper in the saucepan and cook over medium heat until the mixture is hot and bubbling, stirring often.

 

Skillet Chicken and Ravioli

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Ingredients

Kosher salt
1 9 -ounce package small cheese ravioli
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 1/4 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into chunks
Freshly ground pepper
8 ounces white mushrooms, sliced in thirds or fourths
1 cup halved cherry tomatoes
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/3 cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley, basil or a combination

Directions

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Add the ravioli and cook as the label directs; drain, then drizzle with olive oil and toss.

Meanwhile, season the chicken with salt and pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken; cook, undisturbed, until beginning to brown, about 2 minutes. Continue to cook, stirring, 1 more minute. Transfer to a plate.

Heat the remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil in the skillet. Add the mushrooms and cook, undisturbed, until browned in spots, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and continue to cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 more minutes.

Stir in the tomatoes, garlic and vinegar and cook until the tomatoes begin to soften, about 2 minutes. Return the chicken to the skillet, then add the ravioli, broth and parmesan; bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the chicken is cooked through, about 4 minutes. Top with the parsley.

Works well with Chicken Sausage (slice after cooking before returning to pan), sliced Smoked Sausage/Kielbasa, or Boneless pork chops cut in pieces as well. If you use spinach & cheese ravioli then you can use ham and substitute about 1/3 – 1/2 cup of jarred Alfredo sauce for the balsamic vinegar.

Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies

Here’s one for “Mr. Healthy” which I’m sure much to his horror he’ll be asking the kitchen to make in sort order.

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Total Time: 20 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 10 min
Yield: 18 cookies
Level: Easy

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

1 cup natural peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Coarse sea salt, for sprinkling

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and place the racks in the upper and lower third of the oven.
In a medium bowl, mix the peanut butter, sugar, vanilla and egg until well combined. Spoon 1 tablespoon of the mixture about 1 inch apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Flatten the mounds with the tines of a fork, making a crosshatch pattern on the cookies. Sprinkle coarse salt on top of the cookies.
Bake until golden around the edges, about 10 minutes, switching the position of the sheets halfway through baking. Transfer to racks to cool. Repeat with the remaining dough.

Don McLean Explains The Meaning Of ‘American Pie’

Don McLean’s manuscript for “American Pie” went up for auction at Christie’s on Tuesday and sold for $1.2 million, and though he’s never really spoken publicly about the song’s cryptic meaning, he somewhat spilled the beans in the auction house’s catalog.

“Basically, in ‘American Pie’ things are heading in the wrong direction,” McLean said in the interview. “It is becoming less ideal, less idyllic. I don’t know whether you consider that wrong or right, but it is a morality song in a sense. I was around in 1970 and now I am around in 2015 … there is no poetry and very little romance in anything anymore, so it is really like the last phase of ‘American Pie.'”

McLean has been cagey about the song for decades, but has always insisted that “American Pie” was inspired by musicians Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P “The Big Bopper” Richardson, who died in a tragic plane crash on Feb. 3, 1959. It became known as “the day the music died.” But McLean never explained the song’s 800-plus words, which he wrote 13 years after the accident. “That song didn’t just happen,” McLean had said in 1982. “It grew out of my experiences. ‘American Pie’ was part of my process of self-awakening; a mystical trip into my past.”

In the recent Christie’s interview, he now calls the track “an indescribable photograph of America that I tried to capture in words and music.”

 

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Tale of the IDIOT

When last we left our inept intrepid hero his cat had sabotaged him by slipping him a mickey in the form of a pot of Decafe coffee.

Zzzzzzzzzznork. Whaza? March you say? How the hell did that happen?

My superpowers return. Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Sparkly! Sparkly! Sparkly! …what do you mean I could always fly, Cat?

Oh, wings, right. Well, bother.

Realized that my coffee odyssey has been entirely in my head. Went outside and found it’s still winter! Back to coffee for me.

Something strange going on with winter out there. Today Tiamat’s Witnesses showed up on dog sled! Had to wade through chest deep snow to ated them. BTW, let dogs go.

Had strange little goat-man show up at cave door looking for a wardrobe full of children. Ated him.

Feeling strangely bad about ateding goat-man. Thought twice before munching on wardrobe full of children. Ated it anyway.

Giant steroidal lion showed up to chew me out about ateding goat-man and the wardrobe children. Ated him, of course. He was delicious. I love being a dragon!

Pale witch-lady came to thank me for eating giant lion and wardrobe children. Offered me job. Don’t need job, but I’d always wanted to ated a witch… Tasted like vanilla ice-cream. Strangest thing though, after I ated her, a warm wind came up from south and the snow started to melt…

So, after the wind came up from the south I had an invasion of talking mice. Cat ated them.

Had Enchanted Forest Board Meeting tonight. Arrrrrgh! Thinking I will be ateding several board members soon as service to community.

More damned white stuff falling from the sky. Cat has suggested we move from Enchanted Forest to Enchanted Tropical Island.

 

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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5 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 295 for Wednesday April 15th 2015

  1. Ginny says:

    You made April 15th much easier to get through with this great issue. Will be longing forward to your opinions as the race for 2016 begins.

  2. Henry says:

    GREAT POST. I liked the coupons.

  3. Maggie says:

    I enjoyed this one sooooooooo much!!!!!!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Thanks for the kind words!
      Much appreciated.
      Hope you remembered to vote for the issue with stars

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