Wadda ya think? Too subtle? Impish saw a copy I sent him and he went back to whimpering and sulking where ever he is currently hiding amidst his dashed hopes that either of his teams (Packer & Colts) might ,snicker> make the Super Bowl. I tried explaining the Pats had a record of two-peating the Super Bowl to protect but he wasn’t hearing it.
<Lethal strangely raises his amplified voice> Ok I see the cheap black suits and Ray Bans contingent who have somehow wormed their way into a nonpublic area already stirring at the mention of my contact with Impish so let me address the issue of Impish’s where abouts post his alleged illegal escape from allegedly legal custody. First I am his lawyer of record I cannot be compelled to tell you where he is even if I knew his exact location which I do not.
Second as both the Chief Operating Office of Lepreconia and as Impish Dragons personal assistant in his role as Draconian Ambassador I have full Diplomatic Immunity.
Third my client is following prearranged protocols with regard to contacting me via untraceable methods and at staggered times. Couldn’t help you guys even if I was so inclined which I’m not.
Lastly this is a private gathering on private property and I have posted notice that you are no longer welcome in this facility ergo you are in fact committing trespass.
CYBERLETHALS! Remove the Federal Agents from the premises immediately via the shortest possible route. If they attempt to resist see that their removal is as painful as they made Impish’s confinement!
<Lethal pauses a moment for their removal and watches his tablet intently suddenly smirking and smiling> Oh you got to love the literalism of computers! Ok sorry about that folks as I was…huh?! T
he screen above Lethal has suddenly come to life. Strains of ‘Can’t Touch Dis!” waft from speakers about the room to an image of Impish broad backside replete with a trunk full of junk in his tail wiggling and bouncing at the camera in time to the music. The sound of Lethal’s head hitting the podium can be heard over the music. Then he appears to be looking skyward and either praying or carrying on a one sided conversation with the Almighty.
<Lethal quickly works some controls on the podium. The sound dies and the screen starts rolling up> As soon as the laughing dies down he proceeds, Ahem…All righty then! Sorry about that little display too! Seems Impish needs a few more lessons in how not to butt/tail Skype accidentally. Brain bleaching additives will be made available for those of you needing help with removing that image from your memories.
I think at this point for all our sakes I better just start the issue.
Going to the Super Bowl! Happy Dance! Shake it girls!
Race car driver: Ex-girlfriend is a ‘trained assassin’
Woman accused driver of domestic violence
By The Sports Xchange Published On: Jan 13 2015 08:55:30 PM CST
NASCAR driver Kurt Busch’s four-day hearing on a protection order filed by ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll ended Tuesday in Dover, Del., and a decision on the strange proceedings will come after additional transcripts and the closing summations from both attorneys, which are due in two weeks, are reviewed.
Driscoll accused Busch of slamming her head three times against the bedroom wall of his motor home on Sept. 26 at Dover International Speedway.
Busch and his attorney, Rusty Hardin, denied the accusations and cast Driscoll, who runs the Armed Forces Foundation and her own defense company, as a jilted lover who wants to destroy Busch’s reputation. In a strange twist in the case, Busch claimed Driscoll is a trained assassin deployed on many missions, was never physically abused.
According to a report in the Wilmington (Del.) News Journal, Busch offered up specific examples of her returning from missions, sometimes with bruises. Once, he said, they were in El Paso, Texas, where Driscoll left that night in camouflage and boots. She returned later to the hotel at which he was staying wearing a trench coat. Under it she was wearing an evening gown splattered with blood and other matter.
“Everyone on the outside can tell me I’m crazy, but I lived it on the inside …,” Busch testified. “Sorry I’m the last one to the party.”
Neither Driscoll nor her attorney refuted the claims during the hearing.
Richard Sniffen, a music minister who did work with NASCAR and was close to the relationship, testified Tuesday that Driscoll called him the night of the alleged incident and said Busch pushed her and she hit her head.
Busch and his legal team countered that Driscoll and her 9-year-old son showed up uninvited and unannounced. Busch said he cupped her face in his hands as if he were going to kiss her while telling her to leave, and her head bumped the wall.
In November, Driscoll reported the incident to police. She filed the protective order around the same time, saying that she feared for her safety.
The police investigation concluded in December, and the Delaware Attorney General’s office is currently reviewing the findings.
It gets weirder (if that’s even possible)
Kurt Busch’s ex-girlfriend says screenplay inspired assassin story
But he says…
Kurt Busch denies assault allegations; chaplain backs driver
Even her supposed witness backs him
Musician Testifies NASCAR Driver Kurt Busch’s ‘Assassin’ Ex-Girlfriend Was Out For Revenge
But she says…
Kurt Busch’s ex describes him as alcoholic, depressed
But people have no business saying anything until all the facts are in and the investigation is completed say…
NASCAR chairman Brian France addresses Kurt Busch case
At least someone in all this is keeping an objective view point
Sponsor on Busch: ‘We support Kurt 110%’
Diaman sees the glass as half empty.
A Impish sees the glass as half full.
Ginny drinks straight from the bottle
An Lethal adds two shots of Whiskey, two cubes of ice & says Slainte!
Funny and Famous Last Words
In life these funny fellows kept us laughing for decades – but, if their tombstone epitaphs are any indication, they may be the ones having the last laugh. We invite you to take our quiz. Match these five icons of comedy with their famous funny epitaphs.
Known as the “man of 1,000 voices,” Blanc was the actor behind beloved cartoon characters from Bugs Bunny to Marvin the Martian… and, of course, Porky Pig.
Like his Police Squad and Naked Gun alter ego Frank Drebin, deadpan comedy actor Nielsen was ready for anything.
Gleason was one of the biggest television stars of the 1950s with his eponymous variety show and, of course, The Honeymooners. His catchphrase “And away we go!” appears on his monument.
Known for his “no respect” stage persona and his turns in Caddyshack and other films, Dangerfield got the last self-deprecating word on his gravestone.
Mervyn Edward “Merv” Griffin, Jr. was considered one of the premier talk shows in the history of television, musician, actor, and media mogul. He began his career as a radio and big band singer who went on to appear in film and on Broadway. His gravestone makes it plain his last commercial break is a permanent one.
John Uhler “Jack” Lemmon III was an American actor and musician. Lemmon was an eight time Academy Award nominee, with two wins. He starred in more than 60 films, which probably goes a long way to explaining his epitaph.
“Jeez, he was just here a minute ago.”
Widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, Carlin found fame on stage with his infamous “7 dirty words” bit and later in film and television with roles in everything from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure to Thomas the Tank Engine
Valentines Day is under a month away fellas. That means three things, especially if you expect to be getting any the entire rest of the year, namely Flowers, Cards, Chocolate.
Flowers- my suggestion is put your order in now and try to pay for them now. Not only will you be assured of getting them you should (in theory get them at a better price. If something happens and you don’t get them or they are crap you can show your receipt to prove how long in advance you planned for them and plead that its not your fault because you did it well in advance to prevent problems. This might not save your nookie but it should mean you’re not sleeping on the couch.
Card[s]- Good luck you’re on your own with this. Know your woman before picking cards. Again my advice- go to the card store NOW you’ll beat the rush have a better selection and you might run into one of her friends who will be sure to let her know where you were seen, doing what and how early. A few brownie points with the Super Bowl around the corner can come in handy.
Chocolate- yeah you can go the store bought route, but even Godiva won’t hold a candle you your actually making her something chocolate. 2 pointers here, First use the best quality coco powder chocolate and spices you can find, it makes a huge difference. Trust me if your woman is 25% of the Chocoholic Molly is she’ll be able to identify the quality and brand by taste. Second, Practice. Don’t expect you first attempt to be presentation worthy. Make a batch and seek criticism. No not from your beloved use other female family members or coworkers. I’ve never known a woman to turn down a chance to sample chocolate while criticizing something a man did.
Your ego might take a few dings but you’ll learn where you’re going wrong and gain experience and confidence in making the dish before it really counts.
Oh yeah, almost forgot something important….
Chocolate Mason Jars
Total Time: 30 min
Prep: 20 min
Cook: 10 min
Yield: 6 servings
1 cup whole milk
2/3 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons instant coffee
1 cup dark chocolate chips
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Fresh berries, for serving
Combine the milk, mayonnaise, cream, sugar and coffee in a medium saucepan. Whisking, bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook until thickened, 4 to 5 minutes. Remove from the heat, add the chocolate chips and vanilla, and whisk until the chocolate is fully melted. Divide evenly between six 4-ounce mason jars. Chill in the refrigerator until set, about 3 hours. Garnish with berries (don’t forget the whipped cream!) and serve.
Chocolate Bread Pudding
Total Time: 1 hr 5 min
Prep: 25 min
Cook: 40 min
2 1/2 cups cut-up stale bread
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons cocoa
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place bread in a round, buttered, deep dish pie plate. In a medium bowl whisk together eggs, milk, sugar, a dash of salt, vanilla, cocoa, and cinnamon . Add chocolate chips. Pour over bread and gently mix. Let sit for 15 minutes, so bread can absorb mixture. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes until firm but not dry.
Peanut Butter Espresso Brownies
Total Time: 1 hr
Prep: 20 min
Cook: 40 min
Yield: 24 small brownies
Nonstick vegetable oil spray
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg
2 tablespoons espresso powder
One 17.6-ounce box brownie mix, such as Duncan Hines
3/4 cup peanut butter chips
1/4 teaspoon coarse flake salt
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Spray an 8-by-8-inch baking pan with nonstick spray. In a large bowl, whisk together 1/3 cup water and the oil, egg and espresso powder. Add the brownie mix and stir until well blended. Stir in the peanut butter chips. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Sprinkle the salt evenly over the top. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely before cutting into squares. Arrange the brownies on a platter and serve.
Suddenly the speakers inexplicably blare back to life. Lethal can be heard whimpering at the podium as he frantically works the controls there. Finally unable to quell the music he screams seemingly at the ceiling “ I SWEAR TO ST. PATRICK I’LL HAVE YOU DELIVERED BACK TO GITMO!” Just as abruptly as it started back up the music stops once again. Lethal pulls a flask from his jacket and pours a healthy measure of what ever it is into his coffee then after contemplating his cup a moment adds the remainder of the flask’s contents to his cup and imbibes of the mixture heavily.
“Bloody sore loser fecking ungrateful Dragon!”
Can you beat a computer at Rock-Paper-Scissors?
Rock-Paper-Scissors: You vs. the Computer
Computers mimic human reasoning by building on simple rules and statistical averages. Test your strategy against the computer in this rock-paper-scissors game illustrating basic artificial intelligence. Choose from two different modes: novice, where the computer learns to play from scratch, and veteran, where the computer pits over 200,000 rounds of previous experience against you.
The New York Times wanted to play around with this notion, and have set up a page where you can play a friendly game of rock, paper, scissors against a computer. Think you can win?
In Rock-Paper-Scissors: You vs. the Computer, you can play novice, which means the computer has no previous experience and learns to play based on your own personal tendencies as the game progresses, or you can play as a veteran, where the computer uses data from thousands of games played against other people.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “How does the computer know what to throw?” Well, computer use simple statistics to mimic human reasoning. The computer learns your patterns over time and will use these predictive patterns to gain an advantage over you.
Can you beat the computer? A random game would mean that each person would win, tie, and lose a third of the time. But this isn’t a random game. How will you fare? Let us know by posting your W/T/L in the comments section. I played the computer a dozen times and came up a winner. Here’s my score & proof:
Yeah you’re damned right I quit while I was ahead!
>> All bold print underlining highlighting or other emphasis is strictly mine. <<
Obama gives you a taste of his Internet and Cybersecurity proposals
Yeah because his ideas for healthcare worked out so fantastic for all of us that he’s moved on to applying the same model to college education to dumb us all down. Why not allow him to screw with the Internet now too? Maybe be can get it’s inventor Al ‘Global Warming’ Gore involved too. What could the two dumbest most unqualified for their positions/jobs in the history of the DNC libatards possibly do to screw up one of the most important tools of instant communication, information dissemination and learning (to say nothing of source of cat mimes gif and of course Impish favorite –porn) of the Twenty First Century?
The first is called The Personal Data Notification & Protection Act. If you’ll remember all of last summer’s breaches, then you’ll probably also remember how slow that affected companies were in admitting that they were hacked.
President Obama wants to impose a 30-day limit on hacked companies to inform customers who were affected by a data breach.
As of now, there are 47 state laws governing what companies should do in the event of a data breach. It’s impossible for companies to keep up with the legislation.
A 30-day limit could mean that consumers would know when their data is compromised. The 30-day limit also helps companies around the nation build an in-case-of-emergency playbook for data breaches.
The Student Digital Privacy Act is another attempt to lock down Americans’ online privacy. The legislation forbids selling student data for non-educational purposes.
If you’ve lived in a house with someone who turned 18, then you’ve probably seen the flood of “pre-approved” credit cards that start showing up in the mail. The massive amount of information floating around online could mean that more targeted advertisements and financial offers could start showing up.
Finally, the president suggested writing a new bill of rights. This time, the bill would focus on digital privacy.
Ok as much as it pains me to admit this (and you have no idea how bad that is) These appear to me (at least on the surface sans more information) to be fairly decent ideas who’s time has certainly come.
My concerns however are three fold;
- Will Congress enlist the help of experts in each case to draft reasonable and effective rules? Or (like usual) will some committee of self professed expert sound bite grabbing career politicians simply write another ineffective and incomprehensible law that will be largely ignored in favor of business as usual. Why would it be ignored? That’s my second concern-
- Both the law that created the Do Not Call List and the CANNED SPAM Act are largely ignored in favor of business as usual because the penalties written in are ineffective, impractical to enforce and go largely unenforced. I am concerned that these laws will be the same old story all over mileage for self back patting politicians, meaningless for the afflicted masses.
- What agency will be tasked with enforcing these new laws? Presumably these new laws would fall under the aegis of the FTC given the area(s) with which they deal. However historically the FTC prefers to occupy it self with Antitrust issues (often to the detriment of the people- think the breakup of AT&T and how much of a head ache the phone system is now). Quite frankly and honestly the FTC IMHO has been doing a totally ineffectual job of ‘enforcing’ (I use that term as loosely and laughably as possible) both the Do Not Call List and the CANNED SPAM Act.
A recent article in the San Jose Mercury News investigated the matter and found that the FTC had actually imposed $117 million in fines over the past 10 years on violators. Given the constant and continuing barrage of calls I personally receive, this seems to be hardly enough to make a dent in the problem. The article also shows that only 101 cases have been brought against violators in the 10 years of the registry’s existence, or about 10 cases every year. If we assume that every household in the US (about 100 million) receives the same 3-4 calls a day, 365 days a year, that I receive, then this amounts to 10 cases per 100-120 billion calls!
The Mercury News article tells us that 3.8 million complaints were filed on the Do Not Call List website last year, which sounds impressive until you consider that it covers only about 1% of the offending calls.
There is a way that this can be stopped. Readers may be surprised to learn that it is no longer technically challenging to trace a call, even one with a falsified caller ID (as many Spammers do). Residential telephone service customers could be given a special number to key in (for example *99) during a Spam call to automatically file a complaint. That would be considerably easier than entering a complaint on the Do Not Call Registry’s website, so the number of people who would voice their concerns might increase from 1% to 20% or more.
If the government aggressively prosecuted any offender who received perhaps 5,000 such complaints, even with a modest $10,000 fine, these calls would dry up almost overnight.
Obama on faster and cheaper Internet for everyone
Who wouldn’t want to pay less for faster Internet? I sure would. That’s what President Obama hopes to deliver with his new plan to improve our Web infrastructure. It’s all about choices. But the big question is will it work?
If you live in an area where slow Internet is expensive, and not-as-slow Internet is even more expensive, then you’re in the same boat as millions of Americans. The U.S. is ranked 24th in the world for average Internet speeds.
After calling for a Bill of Rights for personal privacy and a 30-day limit for companies to report data breaches, the president continued his push for legislation in the digital world. Obama has announced that he plans on revealing new measures that could make the Internet cheaper.
He plans to write the FTC about state laws that block governments and smaller communications company from launching competing companies to established, local Internet Service Providers.
He hopes to offer grants and loans to rural ISPs to encourage competition. (Grants and Loans do not magically appear, this will undoubtedly be added to the deficit and you, your kids and you kids great great grand children will be paying for these grants and loans to start up, the vast majority of which will fail and default on them)
Depending on when you’re reading this, Obama may or may not already have announced the details for his plan to make the Internet cheaper. His announcement will come from Cedar Falls, Colorado, and that’s for a very good reason.
Cedar Falls Utilities is an ISP that serves Cedar Falls’ 40,000 residents with Internet speeds starting at $45.50 per month with download speeds of 50 Mbps. The national average, for reference, comes out to about 32.1 Mpbs. (and the National average price is a lot higher than $45/mo. too)
If you live in a rural area, then chances are good that your Internet options might be very limited. That might be because your state might be 1 of 20 with laws that ban, or heavily roadblock, small-scale Internet providers from getting started.
Allegedly, this legislation would level the competitive playing field for startup ISPs. What I’m not so sure about, however, is whether or not the federal government should be telling businesses how to operate after the healthcare.gov disaster. If that isn’t enough to convince you I again offer as evidence of the inadvisability of this what happened when the FTC’s Anti Trust people took aim at AT&T. Neither of these things can be called a success story since they have historically pretty much proven to have the opposite from their intended effect (you pay more for less and are unhappier than you were before).
Further if the big players suddenly loose significant revenue which in turn means a drop in earnings their stock holders will scream bloody murder at them. Therefore to avoid this and protect their jobs they will naturally find a away to pass this loss on to us, their remaining customers. Further increasing Internet speed in many areas will mean replacing lines and infrastructure never meant to deal with Broadband data at considerable expense since the most logical upgrade would be from copper to fiber optics. Such upgrades (necessary both to achieve higher speeds and/or allow more bandwidth to be carried to support these start ups in rural areas can only be achieved as significant capitol outlay. The sort of money that companies just used to invest in their future but now demand their current customers subsidize via surcharges pushed through Public Utilities Commissions and that lobbyist get the government to sanction or mandate (think 911 Federally mandated surcharges).
Hell, in all likelihood the Telecom lobbyists will see to it that such charges are permissible right in the new ‘Faster-Cheaper Internet Law and that they can start charging them before we customer see any significant benefit from the law because we are all ‘locked in’ to a contract that states what speeds we’re to see for paying how much.
Make no mistake Obama isn’t giving you anything or simply fixing modern digital age issues. He’s playing Robber Hood again . He’s taking from your pocket and giving to the poor and rural people to make you grateful to the Democrats so they can potential have another 8 years to destroy and bankrupt us!