Good Morning Campers,
It’s been a difficult week.
I was busted out of GITMO and immediately had to go into hiding. Seems that the Acronym Agencies didn’t want me, per se, they wanted information that I had on Santa and his transportation and shipping abilities. They figured, since I was one of the ones that helped him deliver the toys (for all the good girls and boys) that I would be able to give up the goods on how he does it. So, as soon as I got back to HQ, I immediately went into the hidden underground grotto. I got a chance to watch on closed circuit video when they showed up at the entrance to gain entry to our headquarters.
Here’s this guy in a suit giving Lethal a hard time
FBI FUGITIVE TASK FORCE! SEARCH WARRANT!
The guy looks around and says, “Oh wow. That’s a real lot of armed robots! Excuse me Mr. Leprechaun, but we have a search warrant to look for Impish Dragon signed by the AG himself.” In the video you can see some movement as Lethal takes the document from the suit’s hand. “OH MY Bureaucratic God! Tell me you didn’t just blow your nose in the DoJ search Warrant!”
The Acronym Suit continues, “Sir, if you’re going to make this difficult I have authorization to bring in our entire QRT force to execute this warrant…Wait! Are those cameras?
Live Internet Streaming?
Civil Rights Violation Lawsuit Evidence?
I really love it when they start to see how well prepared Lethal is…
The suit is starting to back up now…
Foreign soils? As in plural?
Embassies? Sir, it seems I haven’t’ been properly briefed on the nuances of this situation. Sorry for creating a disturbance during your gathering. We’ll show ourselves out and return later. I would remind you however that Diplomatic Immunity doesn’t extend to Threats against National Security and if you are harboring a suspected global terrorism conspirator…
It’s impossible to hear Lethal Leprechaun’s side of the conversation. He probably has done that on purpose, but the silly suit now continues, “Excuse me?! His council of record? You’re a lawyer, sir? I thought…. THAT FIRM??!! YOU ARE THE OWNER?!?!
I’m very sorry to have bothered you sir. We’ll be leaving right away. The AG can execute his own damn warrant!”
As the suits leave the lobby, Lethal turns back around and heads back inside as the iLethal robots split back up to patrol while several of them can be seen escorting the federal friends back to the parking lot.
It’s now possible to hear Lethal’s voice over the recording again. He leans forward and calls up the stairs. “Friday, they’re gone like field mice with a flock of hawks on their asses. Use that Vegas Facial recognition software and the government employee database and find out who all the suit and ties were. Then zero out their bank accounts, over extend their credit cards and buy up any loans or mortgages they have. Ruby Ridge is going to look like a good day poolside when I’m done with the local FBI office.”
Now, think about this…it scares me that Lethal Leprechaun has that much reach and can do all those things so easily, but that his assistant Friday can do everything he asks on her own is incredible! Campers, I would definitely stay on Mr. Leprechaun’s good side.
I prefer to start out each issue with a joke. That helps set the pace for the rest of the issue. It’s really hard today because there are so many crappy things going on with our stupid administration that it’s going to be hard to find the room for everything that I want to do. As I’m writing this, it’s Sunday. I’m in mourning because my beloved Green Bay Packers just gave away the playoff game to Seattle. The Colts, my other beloved team, fumbled the first punt and the evil Patriots scored a couple of plays later. So, coming up with something to be cheerful about right now is a little problematic. Anyway, not to belabor the point, so here’s my opening joke…
“Hey, show us your tits, yer bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculate, “I don’t think they know who we are, Quick, show them your cross.”
Sister Immaculate rolls down her window and shouts, “Screw off yer fookin little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”
Sister Immaculate looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Mother, was that cross enough?”
Where’s Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Obama? Shouldn’t they be screaming about this? What the hell is going on?
And speaking of people screwing up our country, here’s the first article I was telling you about.
Obama Moves to Advance U.N. Gun Ban Treaty
To read the whole article, click here: http://townhall.com/postrelease.html?prx_t=SKcBAxDgCAT+8DA
When Barack Obama signed the U.N. Gun Ban Treaty last year, he invited global gun banners to carve up our constitutional freedom. (Treason! Does nobody else but me see this?)
Now Obama is using the full force of the international community to pressure our U.S. Senators into replacing our Second Amendment rights with U.N.-style gun control.
Earlier this year, Obama conspired with the European Union to issue an international declaration demanding immediate “disarmament and arms control” under the United Nations Gun Ban Treaty.
Obama and his anti-gun European allies vowed to ensure every nation’s “entry into force of the Arms Trade Treaty.”
And that’s not all.
In a meeting of non-governmental organizations and U.N. officials, Obama’s Assistant Secretary of State declared that the White House is “already implementing the treaty” without Senate ratification! (Why shouldn’t he? Nobody has done anything to make him follow the rules up to this point! He does whatever the hell he wants and all of America sits on their hands afraid that if they say anything they will be accused of being racist. It Is Not Racist To Defend The Constitution Of The United States. It is what you put your hand on the bible or held your hand up and swore to do! Why is nobody in Congress or the Senate or the Supreme Court doing so?)
As an aside…at this point in time, my Colts are losing 14-0 to the evil incarnate New England Patriots. I’ve got to take a few minutes out to start packing and gathering weapons and ammo. You guys keep reading the issue and I’ll check back in with you in a few minutes.
Well, probably improved his attitude, if not his outlook.
24-7 Patriots. Time for me to go. All weapons loaded, with lots of extra magazines. I’m all set.
The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon, “I have some good news and, I have some bad news.”
The tycoon replies, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first.”
The lawyer says, “Your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures today that she figures are worth a minimum of $5 million.”
The tycoon replies enthusiastically, “Well done. Very good news indeed! You’ve just made my day. Now, what is the bad news?”
The lawyer answers, “The pictures are of you having sex with your assistant.”
Okay, this is just cool. A hermit crab changing his shell…
I love reading. Do it all the time. There are many pictures of me reading. This is just one of them.
Here’s a fun video prank. Something only a full grown boy would think of:
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when
he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet
behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man
walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in
The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the Italian man walking
the dog and said:
“I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but
I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”
”What happened to her?”
“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”
He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”
My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her
and killed her also.
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian
brotherhood and silence passed between the two
The Jewish man then asked, “Can I borrow the dog?”
The Italian man replied, “Get in line”.
Another one of the teachers in our school. This is our art teacher. She’s very good at what she does.
Watch this and try to follow as the forms disappear. It’ll drive you crazy.
There’s an old sea story about a ship’s Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad. The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Many thanks for the good stuff. I have yet to find a better humor page. Dragon, you rock.
I was so sorry to see both your favorite teams going down the drain last Sunday. Gee ya would
think one of them could have saved the day. Glad Lethal threw a ‘body block’ with the Feds when
they came for you…..I guess the little green leprechaun is good for a few things. Lots of white fluffy shit is coming down pretty heavy here in northern Joisey. Have a good weekend and be safe.