Leprechaun Laughs for 12/3/2014


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You walk in and see Lethal impatiently standing at the podium practically bouncing up and down in apparent eagerness to get started.

Hi-how-are-ya-good-ta-see-ya!-Take-a-load-off.-Great-bustin-at-the-seams-issue-today. Gotta-go-lots-to-do!-Finals-and-Christmas-approaching-so-lots-of-loose-ends-to tie-up.-Plus-my-busy-season-is-right-around-the-corner-might-need-to-take-a-semester-off-cause-it-looks-like-it-might-be-pretty-busy-for-a-change.

Okay-see-ya-later.-Bub-bye!

The haste of his exit causes several papers to be pulled off the podium in his wake. Impish and Diamen ,who are just entering (both some what suspiciously glowing and disheveled) attempt to stop Lethal for a word but Lethal pulls a fake out on them worthy of Emmitt Smith or Walter Payton and disappears down the hall yelling

“Sorry!-No-time-got-to-get-to-class!”

Impish looks thoughtful (a rare occurrence to be sure) for a moment, then turns to ask Diamen “You’re sure Ginny got all of the liquid Schwartz while you were distracting Lethal the last time?” She nods and winks at Impish murmuring something you cannot quite make out. Impish appears incredulous at what she said “He actually told you where he was keeping it?!” Again she nods obviously very pleased with herself. What did you say or do to induce the most stubborn mythical creature I know…and that’s saying something…to tell you?” Diamen grabs Impish by the ear and whispers in it for almost 30 seconds before flicking his ear lobe with her tongue and again winking very saucily at him. As this is occurring you see Impish’s facial expression morph from one of incredulousness to one of pure lust. He grabs Diamen up and yells as he rushes out of the room “Something very urgent just..umm popped out err… up err… that is came to my attention. Enjoy the issue!”

Let's Roll 27

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The Bellamy Brothers – Jingle Bells (A Cowboy’s Holiday)

Let’s kick this holiday season off Texas style!

 

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Coffee in St. Peter’s Square

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St.Peters Square.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop.  When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal.  When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope.  When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

She proudly replies, “I have a daughter,

SLIM, TALL, 38D BUST,  24″ WAIST and 34″ HIPS

oh my god beauty

When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”

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His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.

“Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant.

“Aye, she spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said the Irishman.

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The holidays mean celebration. That translates into parties. Parties require eating drinking and merry making to be a success. Here are a few easy recipes that are even travel friendly

Five-Minute Fudge Wreath

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Total Time: 10 min
Prep: 5 min
Cook: 5 min
Yield: 32 servings (2 pounds)
Level: Easy

Ingredients

1 (12-ounce) bag semisweet chocolate morsels
9 ounces (3/4 of a 12-ounce bag) butterscotch morsels
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (8-ounce) can walnut halves
1/2 cup (a couple of handfuls) currants
8 -inch cake pan, lightly greased with softened butter
Candied cherries, red and green, for garnish, optional

Directions

Place a heavy pot on the stove and preheat it over low heat. Add chips and milk and stir until chips are melted and milk combined. Save the empty condensed milk can. Stir in vanilla and remove fudge from heat. Add nuts and currants and stir in immediately.
Cover empty condensed milk can with plastic food wrap and center it in the greased cake pan. Spoon fudge into pan around can, making sure to recenter can if it drifts.
The fudge will set up almost immediately. Garnish can only be added in the first minute or 2 the fudge is in the pan, so work quickly. Decorate your wreath with “holly” made from cut candied red and green cherries. A wreath left plain can be garnished with a pretty fabric bow when serving. Chill covered in the refrigerator and slice fudge very thin when ready to serve, a little goes a long way.

 

Sweet-and-Spicy Pecans

This works well with other nuts besides pecans too. Cashews, Walnuts, Peanuts or a blend of all four nuts.
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Total Time: 1 hr 20 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 1 hr 10 min
Yield: 4 cups nuts
Level: Easy

Ingredients

1 large egg white
2 cups unsalted pecan halves
2 cups unsalted roasted cashews
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon ground cumin
3/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Kosher salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees F. Beat the egg white with 1 tablespoon water in a large bowl until foamy. Add the nuts, sugar, cumin, cayenne, cinnamon and 1/2 teaspoon salt and mix well. Spread the mixture on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake until the nuts are mostly dry but still slightly sticky, about 40 minutes.
Remove the nuts from the oven and stir. Reduce the temperature to 200 degrees F. Return the nuts to the oven and bake until crisp, about 30 more minutes. Stir to loosen the nuts from the baking sheet; cool completely on the sheet.

 

Sausage Stuffed Mushrooms

Make these ahead then transport and finish in the hosts oven at your party. Use a disposable baking tray doubled for stiffness for transport and you don’t need to worry about getting your dish back!

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Total Time: 35 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 25 min
Yield: 24 large stuffed mushrooms
Level: Easy

Ingredients

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, one turn of the pan
24 large gourmet stuffing mushroom caps, stems removed and reserved brushed with damp towel
Salt and pepper
Stuffing:
1 1/2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, half a turn of the pan
3/4 pound sweet bulk Italian sausage
4 cloves garlic, chopped
20 stems mushrooms, finely chopped
1 rib of celery and green, leafy top from the heart of the stalk, chopped
1/2 small onion, chopped
1/2 small red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 (10-ounce) box chopped frozen spinach, defrosted and squeezed dry
3 slices white bread, toasted and buttered, chopped into small dice
1/3 cup grated Parmigiano or Romano, 2 handfuls
Directions
Preheat oven to 500 degrees F.
Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add oil and mushroom caps and season caps with salt and pepper. Sauté caps 5 to 7 minutes, until they are lightly browned and tender on edges. Turn caps up and let juices drain away from caps. Transfer caps to a small nonstick baking sheet. Wipe out skillet and return to heat. Add a touch of oil and sausage to the hot skillet. Brown and crumble sausage for 3 minutes. In a food processor pulse and chop the garlic, add mushroom stems and pulse to chop the mushroom stems. Add celery, onion and red bell pepper to the mushrooms and pulse to chop. Remove mixture from the processor and sauté veggies and mushrooms over medium high heat another 3 to 5 minutes. Add dry, defrosted spinach and stir into stuffing. Add chopped bread and cheese to the pan and toss stuffing until bread is moist and stuffing is combined, 2 or 3 minutes. Fill caps with stuffing using a small scoop or large spoon. Place caps in hot oven and reduce heat to 450 degrees F. Bake 6 to 8 minutes to crisp edges of stuffing and set stuffing in mushrooms. Transfer stuffed mushrooms to a serving plate.

 

 

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Before Kindles, This Is How People Carried Around Their Collection Of Books

Today’s generation barely knows what real books look like anymore. Instead of leather covers and actual pages, they’re more accustomed to a bright, digital interface and e-ink. Carrying around your favorite books is now easier than ever, but avid readers have always wanted to keep favorite books at their fingertips. That’s why, centuries ago, someone invented this curious creation.

According to a recent discovery from the University of Leeds, this is how people carried around their collections in the 17th century: tiny, portable libraries.

It may look like just another large text from the outside…

It may look like just another large text from the outside...

But when opened, three shelves of miniature texts are revealed.

But when opened, three shelves of miniature texts are revealed.

This is one of only four that exist, dating back to 1617.

This is one of only four that exist, dating back to 1617.

You might need a microscope to read them, but the books include mostly classical text.

You might need a microscope to read them, but the books include mostly classical text.

The inside cover features an ornate illustration of columns and arches with text explaining the categories of text found on each shelf.

The inside cover features an ornate illustration of columns and arches with text explaining the categories of text found on each shelf.

Three sections: theology and philosophy, history, and poetry.

Three sections: theology and philosophy, history, and poetry.

Included are works by works by Cicero, Virgil, Ovid, Seneca, Horace, and Julius Caesar.

Included are works by works by Cicero, Virgil, Ovid, Seneca, Horace, and Julius Caesar.

  Reportedly, a man named William Hakewill MP commissioned this “Jacobean Kindle” for a friend of his. Within the next five years, Hakewill would go on to commission three more for friends.

Reportedly, a man named William Hakewill MP commissioned this

Darren O’Brien

Old world meeting new.

Old world meeting new.

The whole thing doesn’t seem too much bigger than an iPad, but quite a bit bulkier.

The whole thing doesn't seem too much bigger than an iPad, but quite a bit bulkier.

 

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We Three Kings (Piano/Cello) – ThePianoGuys

Merry Christmas Impish!

Come back next week pal and I’ll have another prezzie like this for ya…if you’re still on the nice list that is!

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The Top 20 Frosty the Snowman Complaints

20.Two words: Global warming

19. Never seems to get a corncob pipe from Colorado.

18. Without legs, you’re a sitting duck if that Zimmerman guy comes snooping around.

17. Picking up hot chicks is life threatening.

16. “What? ANOTHER mother@#$%ing Wendy’s gift certificate?!”

15. Perpetual blueballs.

14. Top hats are so frigging boring. Why not a magical jaunty beret?

13. The never-ending onslaught of “snow balls” jokes.

12. His apparel? Totally gay.

11. Really REALLY hates the smell of carrots.

10. That Calvin is a sadistic little fella.

9. I swear, it’s only small because it’s so cold.

8. Of course I dance around. But those snotty Dancing With the Stars people are all “We’ll be in touch.”

7. Total lack of racial diversity among his people.

6. Glaucoalma

5. Every year, some bratty kid makes a “tail” by removing his nose and shoving it up his butt.

4. Mrs. Frosty? Frigid.

3. Thanks to the old silk hat and corncob pipe, everybody thinks I’m a hipster.

2. “Obamacare” doesn’t cover melting.

And the Number 1 Frosty the Snowman Complaint…

  1. There’s never a snowblower around when you’re in the mood.

Copyright © 1994–2013 Chris White All rights reserved.

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An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

“Well,” said the American, “I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth.”

He continued, ” So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here.”

“That’s amazing!” said one of the doctors, “But what happened to the other two?”

“Last I saw them,” replied the American, “the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his.”

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Little Drummer Boy – Pentatonix

 

Fishing Leprechaun style

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub.

Lethal Leprechaun stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.

A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.

Fishing,’ replied the Leprechaun.

‘Poor old fool’ thought the gentleman, so he invited Lethal to have a drink in the pub.

Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked,
 
‘And how many have you caught?’
 
‘You’re the eighth.’

 

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The music from Today’s issue can be downloaded as MP3s here.

http://www29.zippyshare.com/v/93059357/file.html

The songs are in a compressed file. You’ll need to be able to download it and decompress it your self using a program such as WinRar or 7Zip to access the MP3s.

DO NOT ASK FOR TECHNICAL SUPPORT HELP FROM US!

Those who do will get a decidedly naughty reply full of attitude from Marine Gunnery Sargent Grinch!

In addition I will remove the music downloads from both of the next two issues.

doing it right

Say what you will about the Texans, J. J. Watt is proving himself a cut above the majority of professional athletes.

Texans JJ Watt buys pizzas for all HFD, HPD stations

Author: Matt Aufdenspring, Web Managing Editor, Click2Houston.com Published On: Nov 25 2014 01:21:09 PM CST

HOUSTON – Houston Texans superstar JJ Watt is getting just as much praise off the field as he does for his play on the field and Tuesday was no exception.

We told you last month how Watt surprised some lucky Texans fans by delivering pizzas to their door through his charity partnership with Papa John’s Pizza. Now Watt has taken it one step further.

On Tuesday, Watt reportedly bought Papa John’s pizzas and had them delivered to all Houston Police Department and Houston Fire Department stations for lunch, along with a handwritten note.

“Even though he has a lot going on, he still thinks about us here in Houston and wants us to know that we’re still appreciated,” said Perry McClendon, HFD Station 51 engineer-operator.

Local 2 viewer David Hsiung posted a photo of the handwritten note addressed to HFD and HFD on our Facebook page. It read in part, “I just wanted to send you a small token of appreciation for everything you do… As athletes, we often get the headlines and big crowds but just like the men and women in our military, y’all are the ones who truly deserve the credit, appreciation and admiration. I know it’s not much, but please enjoy lunch on me today.”

The note is signed by Watt.

The Houston Police Department tweeted out a photo of Officer L. Lindquist holding the note and boxes of pizza at the HPD South Central Patrol station.

Each week through football season, Papa John’s will donate 10 percent of Tuesday sales to the Justin J. Watt Foundation, which supports middle school athletes.

animeXmasBabesMerXmas

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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8 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs for 12/3/2014

  1. Ginny says:

    I believe you are correct once again, something is going on with Diamen and Impish! Very bold show of affection in front of everyone! Great recipes, knees starting to get weak with the 5 minute Fudge Wreath. Love stuffed mushrooms, they look yummy. Boy, so glad I have a Kindle….cute set up….but me thinks they would be a BITCH to read. Love the Drummer Boy song….tis one of my favorite. As always take you bows….excellent issue!

  2. paul says:

    and where can I get this “new car” that i need??? – would love to stop the exhaust from backfiring – also love the history lesson on the old personal library

  3. paul says:

    Love the link to Pentatonix – Have you heard their version of “Mary, did you know”?? – also awesome

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Yes I have Paul and I agree the problem is too many good songs and I can fit too few into each issue. I also love their version of ‘That’s Christmas to Me’

      However I’ll see if I can include that ‘Mary Did You Know’ between now and Christmas.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      You could always go electric

  4. Jonathon says:

    I got a virus alert for the website that you are using – fakead and redirect to a php file download that was also tagged as a virus!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Did you use the url Dragonlaffs >dot< Com or click a link in the the post?
      I have no problem with the url or either link in the email when I tried them.
      You might want to check your updates and scan your system for malware or a trojan.
      Sounds to me like an exploit is being used to redirect you to a different site.
      Possibly it was a man in the middle attack at your ISP's server level which we can do nothing about.

      Both the domain host we use for the url and WordPress are extremely good about detecting such things.
      In truth yours is the first time (that we are aware of) one of our readers has had any sort of viral or
      malware problem which might be blog related.

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