Dragon Laffs #1412


Dragon Laffs 2
Good Morning Campers,

Well, it’s been an interesting week round here at Dragon Cavern.  Some good, some bad, but I guess that’s what life is all about.  We will, of course, celebrate the good here at Dragon Laffs, and that’s going to start with the littlest dragon, Izzy. 

Now, Papa Dragon Most Senior, this is your granddaughter taking up the artistic brush that seems to have missed most of my generation of dragons. 

At the beginning of the school year, the kids in all grades were asked to create a picture of what winter meant to them…mind you, this was while it was still hot enough out for the kids to be wearing shorts and sandals.  They were given very specific sizes of paper, but other than that, they were set free to do as they liked.

The pictures were all turned in, from two different counties in Indiana, several different school districts, lots and lots of kids.  They selected pictures through three different judging rounds and ended up with the best from each grade, the best from each school and then a couple of special awards.  These pieces of artwork were then turned into banners that will be hung up in the local towns over the next couple of years for the Christmas holidays.

Long story short, Izzy won for the best in the seventh grade!

This is her original artwork:
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This is the banner that was made from her original artwork:
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And this is the really cute “award” that she received.  A Christmas Tree Ornament made from her picture.
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We are all very proud of our little dragon. 

And now, with no further ado…

 

 

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This one is quite interesting.  The Ten Worst Business Decisions of all time.  I was very surprised to see some of these that made the list…and the last one, #1, just amazed me to no end.

 

What we have next is the luckiest man on earth who was captured on video.  You won’t believe this one.

Okay, since we’re doing movie time, how about this commercial.  It isn’t until the very end that you even find out what the product is that they are promoting.

 

My Darling Husband,

Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you  know about the small accident I had with the pick-up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it’s not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the  driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture of the damage for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. 

Your loving wife.

Babs

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P.S.

Your girlfriend called….

 

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DragonPapa1 (274)

Hey!  A dragon’s got to eat, right?

 

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth marriage.

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color   dress are you looking for?”
The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”
 
“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
 
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
 
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
 
“What about your third husband?”
 
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”
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Amen!  Brother, we are watching EVERYONE!

 

My Dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior, sent me my first Christmas card this year…

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
 
Not a Christian was praying
 
Nor taking a stand.
 
Why the PC Police had taken away
The reason for Christmas – no one could say.
 
 
The children were told by their schools not to sing
 
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
 
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
 
December 25th is just a ‘ Holiday ‘.
 
 
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
 
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
 
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod
 
Something was changing, something quite odd!
 
 
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
 
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
 
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.
 
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
 
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty
 
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
 
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
 
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
 
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
 
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
 
 
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
 
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
 
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
 
 
So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’
 
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
 
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
 
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,
not Happy Holiday!
 
Please, all Christians join together and
wish everyone you meet
 
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
 
 
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!

 

4c

 

U.S. Citizenship Quiz…this is good.  I only missed one.

Get more than 5 wrong you need to go back to SCHOOL! 
NO TRICK QUESTIONS
Answer 15 correctly to pass…Will you?

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The Trouble With Retirement…
 
The trouble with retirement is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you’re on the job.
 
First you forget names…then you forget faces…then you forget to zip up your fly…and then 
you forget to unzip your fly.
 
I find the biggest trouble with having nothing to do is…you can’t tell when you’re done.
 
When you see some people work, you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.
 
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
 
The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
 
Retirement is a wonderful thing…like being a member of Congress….doing nothing, and then resting afterward.

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Okay, this is too good not to share.  I’m just going to give you the link to Kim Kommando’s article on the Hacker Group Anonymous hacking the KKK’s Twitter site.  Do yourself a favor and read this article… http://www.komando.com/happening-now/283162/anonymous-hackers-take-on-the-kkk 

 

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Guinness World Record attempt for the tightest parallel park…don’t try this at home.

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I was in a pet shop when I noticed a young Muslim girl with the most amazingly colored parrot perched on her shoulder.

“Where did you get that from?”   I asked.                                 
“Dearborn, Michigan….There’s fuckin’ thousands of ’em!” ……..said the Parrot.

 

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Sadly, this is so true! 

 

 

 

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida.

In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver… “Say, is this really a healthful place?”

“It sure is,” the cabby replied. “When I came here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said the tourist , “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

 

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Okay, enough with the old jokes for crying out loud!

 

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Here’s another one from Papa Dragon Most Senior.  I’ve always wondered how he stays so healthy.  This is the way he says is the proper way to get your blood pressure checked…

The Proper Way to take blood pressure
 
 
 I had to forward this  to the people I know who are interested in the latest Health news.
 
This is  the correct method for blood pressure check for all men above 60 years of age.
 
Medicine has finally  found the correct and most accurate  way to measure blood pressure for men.

4d

My doctor’s nurse  (Michelle) takes my BP like this all the time.
 
My pressure is  normal…. 522 over 418.
 
That’s OK, isn’t  it???
One of the world’s greatest oops!

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Geez… an insider super hero groaner joke.

 

Dear Santa… I really want one of these for Christmas.

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Gratitude

gravity

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gravity3

Great_Butt

 

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Reminds me of an old skit that we used to play in school when I was younger.

Four people in a line

#1 Bologna!
#2 Bologna!
#3 Bologna!
#4 …

#1 Mr. Smith is the best teacher in the world!
#2 Mr. Smith is the best teacher in the world!
#3 Mr. Smith is the best teacher in the world!
#4 Bologna!

Yeah, but as an elementary school student, it was pretty funny.

And speaking of bologna…..

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cheers3

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7 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1412

  1. paul says:

    Great job, Izzy – and again a great issue – Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving !!

  2. maggie culligan says:

    another fabulous post ,,,, many cudos to the littlelest Dragonette on her achievement.. Hope the LL and Dragon Family have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.

  3. kevin says:

    great issue as always, thanks for making me laff and think….

  4. lethalleprechaun says:

    Well that bit about the female bus driver running over her Ex certainly sheds new light on your phantom bus driving homicidally intent maniac now doesn’t it Impish?

  5. Henry says:

    Great Post today.

  6. Ginny says:

    Congratulatiins to Izzy, very talented young lady. Another great issue….Impish. Talent runs rampant in the family.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Impish should consider sitting for a portrait by the littlest Dragonette, with that much talent she might actually be able to make him look good!

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