Leprechaun Laughs #273 for Wednesday 11/19/2014


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As you get off the lift the unmistakable scents of burning peat, sage, pine and hard woods assail your nose. Upon entering the conference room you see that several recessed fire places plus a couple cast iron stoves have been uncovered and fired up. Additionally the stone benches are now sporting stadium seat warmers. Some bear the logo of Notre Dame some of Navy and a few New England Patriots one are in evidence. Still yet others bear the logos for the Indiana Colts and the Air Force Academy. The seating area for the paying blog supporters seems to be generating a bit of a stir for its members as they discover not only lap blankets but that their seats have both heat and massage functions. Impish is no where in evidence but the screen behind the podium is pulled down and several iLethals can be seen down front bearing his face and interacting with those in preferred seating.

Suddenly the lights blink several times and then shortly after dim as the screen comes to life. You see Lethal ensconced in  what appears to be a reclining leather club chair dressed in green fleece wear head to toe sporting a tartan plaid lap blanket beside a crackling fireplace. Curled on the back of his chair with it’s head and front paws resting contentedly on his shoulder is what appear to be a Siamese cat sporting a black face mask. Could this be Chai the legendary head of Lethal Ninja Cat clan?

Relax folks I’m fine, well er… better than I was the last 2 weeks anyway. The bloody doctor told me to avoid drafts and rest as much as possible if I wanted to be in any shape to travel for Thanksgiving. Since most of Molly’s family is making a clamor over my possibly not being there and will make her life hell asking if I’m ok or if she’s talked to me the entire time she’s down there I’ve decided to do my part in getting better. With our Anniversary falling shortly after Thanksgiving it won’t due to have her irked at me.

Hence I’m telecommuting this morning as its too bloody cold to be running around outside. I’ve a nice fire, a pot of tea keeping warm by the fire and my guard cats. The other one? Well she’s on the floor between the chair and the fire currently warming her undersides.

As you can see (pointing to the pile of books) I’ve still lots to read for classes so off with ya now and enjoy the issue.

 

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As poorly as I was feeling this concept held some serious appeal

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Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:

  1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.

  2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

  3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

  4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

  5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

  6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of our current government and cultural environment:

  1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.

Funny how that works.  And here’s another one worth considering…

  2. Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money.    But we never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money!  
What’s interesting is the first group “worked for” their money, but the second didn’t.

  Think about it…..and Last but not least :

  3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, giving no pay raises to our military and cutting our army to a level lower than before WWII,   but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.

  Am I the only one missing something?

 

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Now I’m not saying that Paul is old mind you but once I heard that he may have actually voted for Roosevelt…TEDDY Roosevelt I actually had to check him against the Encyclious Expatus Mythicus Creaturis to make sure he wasn’t a mythical creature on the lam. See there was an 8th dwarf originally when Snow White met them. His name was Sleazy. Apparently there was in incident shortly after Snow arrived and Sleazy went on the lam and hasn’t been seen since though occasionally we gets hints as to his whereabouts. After Ginny told us who Paul’s favorite performer was I naturally was obligated to check.

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Here’s a couple presents for ya from what I understand is your favorite performer Sleazy I MEAN Paul k9!!

Rodney Carrington – Momma’s Got her boobs out!

 

Rodney Carrington Today’s The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend

 

You Have Never Seen “Pizzas” Like This Before…

NO WE ARE NOT attempting to resurrect the great pizza debate war of the recent past! Rather, simply put we are paying homage to the great Italian invention and show casing the extremes some people will go to in obtaining their pizza fix when the can’t get the real deal.

I do my best to work out, eat right and live a healthy life, but there is one thing that I will never be able to turn down: A hot slice of delicious pizza with all of my favorite toppings. It’s the perfect combination of pastry, tomatoes and cheese, loved by children and adults all around the world. And, since so many people love it so much, they came up with these amazing ideas I can’t wait to get my teeth into!

Pizza Cones, it’s like an ice-cream cone but for the winter, and full of pizza.

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Pizza Cake, for those times when one pizza just isn’t enough.

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Pizza Fries, just hearing those words makes me hungry.

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Pizza Cupcakes, bite-sized pieces of cheesy heaven.

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Pizza Sushi, the perfect Italian-Asian fusion.

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Pizza Hot Dog, if you’re going to have a pizza with meat, than why not have your meat with pizza?

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Pizza Burgers, combine two of the world’s most loved foods!

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Pizza Pasta, It’s really just pasta with tomato sauce and cheese, but your kids will love the idea behind this.

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Pizza omelet, now you can get away with eating pizza for breakfast!

 

Pizza Chili, Mexican dinners will never be the same…

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Pizza Quesadillas, extra crutch and extra pizza, what can go wrong?

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Pizza Dip, because pizza can make everything better.

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Pizza Lollipops, everything tastes better when served on a stick.

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Pizza Kebabs, it tastes better with a bigger stick.

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Pizza Chicken, It tastes just like chicken (and pizza).

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Pizza Meatballs, full of delicious hot cheese.

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Pizza Nachos, perfect for hosting a meeting of pizza lovers.

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Pizza Potatoes, so easy to make your kids will be able to do it themselves.

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Pizza Fish, you’ll be amazed how well fish and pizza herbs go together.

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Pizza Popcorn, I can’t wait to try this at home!

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Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar for a drink.”
The lady with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there.
We’ve got dogs with us.”
The one with the Doberman said, “Just watch, and do as I do.”
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman with the Doberman said, “You don’t understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bouncer said, “A Doberman?”
The woman said, “Yes, they’re using them now. They’re very good.”
The bouncer said, “OK, come on in.”
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,”What the heck,” so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, “Sorry, lady, no pets allowed.”
The woman said, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog”
The bouncer said, “A Chihuahua?”
The woman with the Chihuahua said,
“A Chihuahua? They gave me a f…..g Chihuahua ?!

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An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a
nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to
put him in an Italian home. After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they
came to visit Grandpa.

How do you like it here?” asked the grandson .

It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” said grandpa.

“We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for
you, since you are a little different from everyone.”

“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents,”

Abdullah said with a big smile. “There’s a musician here – he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!

There is a judge in here – he’s 95 year old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor.

There’s a dentist here – 90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!

And Me – I haven’t had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The F*#@g Arab.

 

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Cold weather has come early to Texas this year and for me that means the start of soup season. When I think soup I usually think long slow simmer filling the kitchen with mouth watering smells pots on back of the stove. Well, this is, I used to until I met the crock pot.

Here are a trio of start ‘em in the morning ignoring all day and curl up for dinner with a satisfying bowl of soup recipes to kick off soup season in my kitchen

Slow Cooker Chunky Vegetable Soup

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Here’s a hearty vegetable beef soup that slow cooks until the flavors are blended and the soup is delicious.  Best of all, it takes just 15 minutes to put together…then it cooks unattended while you enjoy your day.

Prep 15 min.

Total 8 hr. 15 min.

Serves 8

 

What You’ll Need

3 cups V8 100% Vegetable Juice – [low sodium]
2 cups hot water
1/4 cup ketchup (I use a small can of tomato sauce or Rotel instead)
3 tablespoons beef-flavored instant bouillon [low sodium]
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 pound beef for stew, cut in 1-inch cubes
8 cups frozen mixed vegetables (carrots, green beans, corn, peas)
2 medium potatoes, cut into cubes (about 2 cups)
1 small onion, chopped (about 1/4 cup)

How to Make It

  • 1 Place the slow cooker liner into a 6-quart slow cooker according to the liner package directions.
  • 2 Stir the vegetable juice, water, ketchup, bouillon and black pepper in the cooker.  Add the beef, mixed vegetables, potatoes and onion and stir to coat.
  • 3 Cover and cook on LOW for 8 to 9 hours or until the beef is fork-tender.

Ground beef can be used in a pinch, just brown it and drain it well before adding. If stew meat is too expensive you can usea beef shank or lean pork in this too.

Slow Cooker Barley & Lentil Soup

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Prep 15 min.

Total 8 hr. 15 min.

Serves 8

This comforting barley and lentil soup simmers all day in the slow cooker yielding delectable results.

 

What You’ll Need

8 cups  50% Less Sodium Beef  or Chicken Broth
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves, crushed
4 large carrots, sliced (about 3 cups)
1 large onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
1/2 cup uncooked dried lentils
1/2 cup uncooked pearl barley

How to Make It

  • 1 Stir the broth, garlic, oregano, carrots, onion, lentils and barley in a 5-quart slow cooker.
  • 2 Cover and cook on LOW for 8 to 9 hours or until the lentils and barley are tender.

If using beef broth I’ll add in 1 or 2 (depending one the size) beef shanks which I have quickly browned off. If using chicken broth I’ll add a smoked turkey leg or wing or browned off breakfast sausage or diced smoke sausage that I’ve quickly rendered the fat out of. Lastly to get some more color in the dish I’ll use the green part of a leek in place of the white onion. Finally if you have them dried mushrooms make a huge flavor impact on this dish. I just chop/tear them up dried and add right in. Plenty of time for them to reconstitute in the pot during cooking.

Mexican Black Bean and Beef Soup

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Prep 10 min.

Total 8 hr. 10 min.

Serves 8

Golden corn, black beans and beef chuck slow-cook together with Pace salsa for a savory, southwestern stew.

 

What You’ll Need

2 cups beef broth
1 jar (16 ounces) Pace Chunky Salsa
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 large onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
1 cup frozen whole kernel Mexicorn
1 can (about 15 ounces) canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1 pound beef for stew, cut into 1/2-inch pieces

How to Make It

  • 1 Mix the water, salsa, cilantro, cumin, onion, corn, beans and beef in a 3 1/2- to 6-quart slow cooker.
  • 2 Cover and cook on LOW for 8 to 9 hours* or until the beef is fork-tender.

You can make this with sausage or chicken thighs as well. If using chicken substitute chicken broth for beef. You can even use lean cubed pork and use a cup of each broth.

Also I prefer pinto beans to black beans and add a can of tomatoes or Rotel and some chopped carrot. Vary our spiciness by using different heat levels of salsa or Picante.

A guide to keeping the political news as reported by our newspapers in perspective:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time — and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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4 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #273 for Wednesday 11/19/2014

  1. Deborah says:

    I loved all the pizza variety… makes me hungry! Good recipes too, I love soup!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Thanks for taking the time to comment Deborah!
      Keep reading if you love soup because you’ll see soup stews, crock-pot and (as Rachael Rae would say) ‘stoup’ recipes for as long as its cold, damp or raw out.

  2. maggie culligan says:

    excellent as usual and I envy you, your comfy chair and cozy fireplace, where you can enjoy a good book and enjoy a speedy recovery. I hope you will be able to travel for the Holiday and enjoy it with family and friends. Stay warm.

  3. Ginny says:

    I’m so glad our Lethal Leprechaun is feeling better! Another great issue, even after coming out of your sick bed. Sleazy (Paul K9) loved his belated birthday wishes, along with Rodney Carrington
    videos. OMG the pizza section was simply outstanding. It’s 2:30 a.m. and my mouth is watering for a pizza. Loved the “stick to your ribs” crock pot soups. Here in NJ we were 22 degrees this am….so
    the soups will help to warm us up. Take care and thanks for the smiles and laughs.

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