Leprechaun Laughs # 251 for Wednesday June 18th


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Before we get started on this week I  need to address 3 things.

1.) Last week there was apparently a glitch during uploading that didn’t come to light until after the issue published with regard to an opening banner and some planned remarks appearing. I can’t do anything about the opening banner but below are the remarks which were supposed to appear last week before the electrons responsible for getting the data to WordPress apparently decided on a work slowdown in retaliation foe being bent momentarily to my will:

2.) ! was very remiss in my comments during last weeks opening remarks and I’d like to correct that now.

In my rush to finish the issue and get it uploaded I neglected to thank all you those who commented for their kind words regarding the Memorial Day Issue. Each year we [I] try to make the issue new different and special from the year before plus just a little bit better. This has the unintentional result of raising the bar just a little bit higher every year and as a result the issue takes a little bit longer and is a little bit harder. For example this years issue draft was opened on April 15th and was not uploaded for autopublishing until 8 PM on the Saturday before because I had to start the next regular issue to make its publication deadline. The kudos for all the thought research and effort that go into such an issue are greatly appreciated as they make it seem that much more worth while, especially when I have to turn around almost immediately and open a draft file for Independence Day and start work.

So to those of you who posted public or private comments/praise my sincere thanks for your ‘attaboys’ they really mean a lot.

3>) I’d also like to express my thanks for the outpouring of kind words on the occasion of the anniversary of my full time association with the blog. Impish caught me flat footed with his tribute on Saturday. In truth I’ve been juggling a lot of things and very distracted lately so I was shocked & confused when I opened my email and saw those well wishes and went right to the blog to see what antics Impish was up to now. The fact of the anniversary had completely slipped my mind.

Now having cleared up all the old business and ‘made my manners’ as Molly’s Grandmother would say lets get down to the business of enjoying ourselves!

 

Opening Logo 22

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bringcoffee

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Australian Court Docket

A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

When the case came up in court, the judge asked the man (who was about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well, your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said,

‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, ‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident!’ ……I just lost it.”

“CASE DISMISSED!”  

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Impish Insights Blank  8

No number? Huh? OMG! He means no U.N. / DOT Hazmat Code!
SOME ONE GET A HAZMAT TEAM UP HERE NOW!
And find out what idiot gave Impish Taco Bell and fire them!

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mexicalidudess

If ya don’t laugh at this one, check and see if ya got a pulse.  Begorrah!!!!!  I haven’t laughed so hard in a long long time.  Had to watch parts over as I was laughing so hard would miss some.

WARNING! Drinking hot beverages while watching this clip is NOT advised! Severe damage to electronic devices and your sinus cavity may result.

Two Old Ladies with Spray Glue

http://www.youtube.com/embed/tjJc8xLYhak

Maybe I should try that with Impish’s bathroom spray just to get even for the Hazmat event earlier in the issue!

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Summer time and the end of school is here. Time for focusing on things that are fast easy and keep you out of the kitchen as much as possible or at least get you out of it as quickly as possible

Creamy Burger Bake

This family-friendly casserole is ready in less than an hour. Ground beef, creamy pasta sauce and tomatoes are topped with buttermilk biscuits and baked to golden brown deliciousness.

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Prep 15 min.

Total 40 min.

Serves 6

What You’ll Need

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 jar (14.5 ounces) Prego® Homestyle Alfredo Sauce
1 medium tomato, chopped (about 1 cup)
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese or Cheddar cheese (about 4 ounces)
1 package (7.5 ounces) refrigerated buttermilk biscuits

How to Make It

  • 1 Heat the oven to 400°F.
  • 2 Cook the beef in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat, stirring often to separate meat.  Pour off any fat.
  • 3 Stir in the sauce, tomato and Worcestershire and heat to a boil.  Reduce the heat to low.  Cook for 5 minutes.  Spoon the beef mixture into a 1 1/2-quart casserole.  Sprinkle with the cheese, if desired.  Arrange the biscuits on the beef mixture.
  • 4 Bake for 10 minutes or until the biscuits are golden brown.

I sauté mushrooms with my ground beef, season with 1/2 a pkg of Onion or Beefy Onion Soup Mix, poultry seasoning & cracked black pepper once I have poured off the fat. You can substitute 1/2 a bag of frozen peas & carrots for the tomato or used a can of well drained diced Italian Style Tomatoes.

Most canned biscuits call for a 350 oven and 12 to 17 minutes baking I find while adding a little time this makes for a better biscuit. About 5 minutes before they are done I brush the tops with a little melted garlic butter and some freshly cracked black pepper. When the dish comes out I hit the tops of the biscuits with a little more Mozzarella and allow it to sit 5 minutes

Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies With Nutella Marshmallow Cream Cheese Filling

Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies with Nutella Marshmallow Cream Cheese Frosting Recipe

 

WARNING!

These cookies are

about as ADDICTIVE

as smoking

Crack Cocaine!

 

Ingredients

  • 1 cup butter, room temperature
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup white granulated sugar
  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1½ teaspoons baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • For the filling:
  • ½ cup cream cheese
  • ½ cup marshmallow cream
  • ½ cup Nutella

Instructions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
  2. Place the butter and sugars in a large bowl and beat for several minutes until fluffy and pale in color. Add the peanut butter and beat for a few more seconds until combined. Add the eggs and vanilla and beat another few seconds until combined.
  3. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture and, using a rubber spatula, gently fold to combine. Be careful not to over-stir.
  4. Form the dough into 1-inch balls and place them on a non-stick cookie sheet, pressing a grid pattern into them with a fork. Bake for 8-9 minutes.
  5. Let the cookies cool on the cookie sheet for 3 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
  6. For the filling:
  7. Place the cream cheese, marshmallow cream and Nutella in a bowl and beat until combined.
  8. Using a butter knife, spread the filling on the bottom side of one cookie and place another cookie on top.
  9. Makes about 32 sandwich cookies.

No-Bake Oatmeal Chocolate Fudge Cookies

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This no-bake oatmeal chocolate fudge cookie recipe is perfect for those warm days when you want cookies, but don’t want to turn on the oven. It also great when you just want some fast and delicious cookies!

 

 

Makes about 20 No-Bake Oatmeal Chocolate Fudge Cookies

 

3 cups Rolled oats
1 teaspoon Vanilla extract
1 cup Nuts, chopped (optional)
2 cups Sugar, granulated
1/2 cup Cocoa powder
1/2 cup Evaporated milk
1/4 lb Butter

Combine oats, vanilla and nuts in a bowl and set aside.

Combine sugar, cocoa and evaporated milk in a heavy, 2-quart sauce
Pan.

Bring to a full rolling boil over medium-high heat, STIRRING
CONSTANTLY. Let boil, while stirring, for 2 minutes.

Remove pan from heat and add the butter. Stir until butter is
Melted and incorporated.

Quickly add oat mixture to pan and stir until well mixed.

Drop by the spoonful onto waxed paper. Let cool for 2 hours to set.

Chocolate Peanut-Butter No Bake Cookies

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Ingredients

2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 stick butter
1/2 cup milk
1 cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon vanilla
3 cups oatmeal
Waxed paper

Directions

In a heavy saucepan bring to a boil, the sugar, cocoa, butter and milk. Let boil for 1 minute then add peanut butter, vanilla and oatmeal. On a sheet of waxed paper, drop mixture by the teaspoonful, until cooled and hardened.

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The Most Legendary Cartoonist Alive Briefly Came Out Of Retirement And No One Even Noticed

calvin hobbes

Even if they’ve never read it, most people in America have heard of the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip series. 

Launched in the mid-80s, the strip was at its height published in more than 2,400 newspapers, reaching an audience of hundreds of millions. As of 2010, sales of Calvin and Hobbes books had neared 45 million.

But its creator, Bill Watterson, as is as mysterious as his comic strip is popular. The only known photo of him was taken nearly 30 years ago. According to lore, he wouldn’t even take a phone call from Steven Spielberg. He abruptly retired in 1995, and according to Stephan Pastis, creator of the “Pearls Before Swine” strip, not even other cartoonists interact with him. 

But in a new post on his blog, Pastis reveals he’s gotten the one-up on his colleagues: Watterson, it turns out,  was the author of the three recent “Pearls” strips.

Let me tell you. Just getting an email from Bill Watterson is one of the most mind-blowing, surreal experiences I have ever had. Bill Watterson really exists? And he sends email? And he’s communicating with me?

But he was. And he had a great sense of humor about the strip I had done, and was very funny, and oh yeah….

…He had a comic strip idea he wanted to run by me.

To strips would focus on a little girl, “Libby” (“Lib” is close to “Bill” backwards), who wants to take over the strip from Pastis’ “Pearls” avatar because she thinks his work isn’t good enough.

You can see the results below:

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Wonder if we could talk Bill into drawing a new strip? Say one about the adventures of an aging Dragon who getting into all sorts of trouble and his Leprechaun keeper who has to bail him out all the time?

Weird Weather

Kim Jong Un to weather forecasters: Get it right

North Korean leader reportedly says there are ‘too many incorrect’ forecasts

Author: By Sophie Brown CNN | Published On: Jun 12 2014 02:01:58 AM CDT

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(CNN) – Don’t you hate it when the weatherman gets it wrong? Apparently, so does Kim Jong Un.

According to state-run newspaper Rodong Sinmun, the North Korean leader has been touring meteorological facilities in his country complaining that there are “too many incorrect” weather forecasts.

As further proof of the supreme leader’s extreme displeasure, the Rodong Sinmun report includes photos of a red-faced Kim chastising what appear to be sheepish meteorological personnel.

Talk about being one fortune short of a cookie! My inside sources tell me the glorious leader of the country also known as ‘Asburdistan’,  ‘Backazzwardia’ &/or ‘Headinrectumonia’ is currently looking for Mother Nature and Captain Planet to cuss them out for the part in his nations inability to predict their fickle whims just ass soon as his spies can find them.

Further intelligence indicates he’s interested in hacking DARPA to gain plans for his own H.A.A.R.P. weather machine. As well as kidnapping enough conspiracy theorists who believe in the programs weather control abilities to indoctrinate his gullible subjects in their wild theory thus making it possible for the system function solely on the power of misguided non-reality based belief alone just like his government.

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WOW! Talk about being in the right place at the right time and with your camera not only pointed in the right direction but at the ready besides! One in a million shot! Wonder who wins?

 

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No Parting Shot this week as I haven’t really had time to research or write one besides which Molly informed me it’s summer time and I cannot hole up all weekend reading and/or working on Leprechaun  Laughs. [It’s Sunday morning as I am writing this and she’s just returned from a mysterious store trip]

When I asked what else (besides Chillin & Grillin which I can accomplish while doing either or both of the other things) she had in mind she produced a picnic basket, jug of iced tea, suntan lotion and a bucket of bait. She told me I have 10 minutes to get my act together grab my fishing gear, be in the car and the only electronic devices I’m permitted are my phone and iPod.

What can I say? I’m taking her deal & you folks lose.  Is it fair? Probably not but I don’t think she meant it to be, rarely does she play fair when it comes to getting me to go places when its hot. Besides, the scenery at my favorite fishing hole is always so darned pretty-

Girls Fishing in Bikinis (39 pics)

see what I mean? Only 7 min left got to dash now!

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 251 for Wednesday June 18th

  1. Tom Harlander says:

    Ok, this isn’t a comment on your work, but as I’ve been trying to find out the proper flag protocol for displaying the American flag on holidays such as Memorial Day or others when on a pole it is to be at half staff until noon, and not having a pole, being able to display only hanging vertically, and receiving no answers to public queries, please, is there a protocol for vertically displaying the flag on such more solemn days that differs from celebratory occasions, like Flag Day or July 4? I didn’t put out the flag, again, not having a pole of any kind, on Memorial Day because I don’t want to show even accidentally a form of disrespect to our deceased military by hanging the flag inappropriately in the vertical position. Of course the star field goes in the upper left corner when viewed from the front. I figure if anyone would know the proper way, it would be members of the military forces who must be aware of any variances in proper displays. Or should one hang the flag vertically as usual when it is considered appropriate to display on any holiday? Thank you, and I do much enjoy all the posts.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      The short answer from what I can see Tom is that there isn’t a straight direct answer for your situation ( A Federal law that doesn’t begin to cover all the contingencies it’s meant to govern- imagine that!). However I suspect that’s not what you want to hear so I took a shot at getting you an answer.

      Flag Code

        Title 4, United States Code, Chapter 1

      As Adopted by the National Flag Conference, Washington, D.C., June 14-15, 1923, and Revised and Endorsed by the Second National Flag Conference, Washington, D.C., May 15, 1924. Revised and adopted at P.L. 623, 77th Congress, Second Session, June 22, 1942; as Amended by P.L. 829, 77th Congress, Second Session, December 22, 1942; P.L. 107 83rd Congress, 1st Session, July 9, 1953; P.L. 396, 83rd Congress, Second Session, June 14, 1954; P.L. 363, 90th Congress, Second Session, June 28, 1968; P.L. 344, 94th Congress, Second Session, July 7, 1976; P.L. 322, 103rd Congress, Second Session, September 13, 1994; P.L. 225, 105th Congress, Second Session, August 12, 1998; P.L. 80, 106th Congress, First Session, October 25, 1999; P.L. 110-41, 110th Congress, First Session, June 29, 2007; P.L. 110-181, 110th Congress, Second Session, January 28, 2008; P.L. 110-239, 110th Congress, Second Session, June 3, 2008, P.L. 110-417, 110th Congress, Second Session, October 14, 2008; P.L. 111-41, 111th Congress, First Session, July 27, 2009; and P.L. 113-66 113th Congress, First Session, December 26, 2013.

      § 7. Position and manner of display

      (1) the term ”half-staff” means the position of the flag when it is one-half the distance between the top and bottom of the staff;

      Since you Tom have no staff, the rules of half staff from what I can see (I looked back as its been a while since I was responsible for any flag protocols) half staff rules and regs wouldn’t apply to your manner of display. I kicked this out of a couple CWO’s and Master Chiefs I know and they came back scratching their head as well after consulting the same sources I did. They’re only suggestions, though none of them were covered by the regs, were to suggest possibly that a smaller flag be displayed until noon and then replaced with a larger one, to display a POW/MIA flag in an immediately adjacent window/area or draping the vertically displayed flag w/ black bunting until noon. Nobody was really sure about this last one however I did find this site which tends to support such a thought- http://www.flagguys.com/etiq.html.

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