Leprechaun Laughs # 232 for Wednesday Feb 12th 2014


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 Lots going on in the world this week. Winter Olympics in Sochi, or as the Media is styling it Moscow’s Mortification &/or Putin’s Predicament.

Seems a lot of the venues are either weeks if not months away from completion, failing in use, substandard or fail to take into account the customs and expectations of the rest of the world. When traveling abroad its the little things like being able to use the toilet in privacy that are important.

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Then we have what is possibly the worst day of the year for males of any age that regular interaction with women. I’m talking of course of Valentine’s Day. Just the thought of the day makes men quiver (internally) in fear. Why? Simple, you screw up meeting their expectations for your public profession of admiration and affection this one day a year and you can forget about getting any (affection or peace out of them) until the next one rolls around!

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However as I finish writing this on Tuesday afternoon I am in a great mood that not even the threat thought of Valentine’s Day can interfere with. Why the unusually cheerful upbeat and ebullient mood? I’m glad you asked!

I GOTS A HUGE HAPPY GOING ON!

According to CNN 21 towel-headed would be terrorist tangos in a training camp failed their shot at martyrdom Monday when an incompetent Muslim moron teaching a bomb making class blew himself and them all to Allah & Hell!

OH BLOODY HAPPY DAY!

Let’s get this show on the road before I succumb to the urge to start bloody River dancing about the place and open a hog’s head of me best whiskey for all. After all I’m just feeling overly happy, not excessively generous to the point of insanity!

 

Opening Logo 22

ohthatsmell

Well after all this time what did you think I was going to say? Chocolate? Roses? Chanel #5?

 

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A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival, 2500 years ago in Greece. In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed:

“OH! Limp pricks!”

Over the next two and a half millenniums that morphed into

“Olympics”

Just thought I’d share this new found knowledge with you.

You’re very welcome..

 

 

!cid_7_3557785668@web121604_mail_ne1_yahoo

Make mine a bowl please- It’s Hump Day after all!

 

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Send out the clowns

 America is run by the people for the people–let us not forget.

And make damned sure the Politicians don’t either! – LL

The good news is we’re now one clown down for the 2016 election already!

CNN exclusive: John Kerry a ‘no’ for 2016

(CNN) – While his predecessor Hillary Clinton and his colleague Vice President Joe Biden may be contemplating another White House run, Secretary of State John Kerry says he is out for 2016.

“I’m out of politics. I have no plans whatsoever. This is my last stop,” Kerry said in an exclusive interview with CNN’s “The Lead with Jake Tapper.”

Kerry was the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, losing to President George W. Bush.

“I’m going to serve the country in the extraordinarily privileged position the president has given me, the great challenges that I have, and move on,” said Kerry.

Well that’s one clown down, too bad this next Crown Prince of Clowns isn’t walking away as easily :

Biden sees ‘no obvious reason’ not to run for president

By The Associated Press Posted: 02/07/14, 9:38 AM EST |

WASHINGTON >> Vice President Joe Biden says he sees “no obvious reason” not to run for president in 2016.

In an interview broadcast Friday on CNN’s “New Day” program Biden says he’ll make a decision by the summer of 2015.

He says his decision to make a third White House bid will be based on whether he thinks he’s the best qualified person to focus — quote — “on the two things I’ve spent my whole life on.”

He says they are “giving ordinary people a fighting chance to make it” and a foreign policy based on what he calls the “rational interests of the United States.”

Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is widely seen as the Democratic front-runner for the White House after President Barack Obama.

1.) Ok ,first off I have to ask if Joe isn’t reading the same Political Commentaries and viewing the same Political Cartoons I am because that is the only way he could legitimately make the statement that he sees “no obvious reason” not to run. It’s either that or he’s outright just too damned dumb to comprehend the prevailing sentient about him, which leads me to my next issue with his running.

2.) Where in the hell are they going to find a VP running mate that isn’t going to outshine Biden and make him look even more like the beat in the head multiple times clueless short tempered bridge troll he is? OH NO! DO NOT EVEN THINK IT! That’s just too horrible to even contemplate! Still, I can see the campaign graphics now…

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Still, that might be preferable to the other possible Liberal ticket I hear scuttlebutt about, namely…

 

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Are cats or dogs the better parent ?

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Impish Dragon goes into Mythical Vet’s office and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”
“Impish”, replied the doctor, “You’re 970. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?”
“You’re damned right it is!” replied Impish. “That’s why I want it lowered!”

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Famed former child actress Shirley Temple dies

By Ben Brumfield, CNN February 11, 2014 — Updated 1529 GMT (2329 HKT)

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(CNN)Shirley Temple Black, who rose to fame as arguably the most popular child star in Hollywood history, died late Monday night, her publicist said.

She was 85.

Temple Black, who also enjoyed a long career as a diplomat, died of natural causes at her Woodside, California, home. She was surrounded by family and caregivers, a statement from Cheryl Kagan said.

She began acting at age 3 and became a massive box-office draw before turning 10, commanding a then-unheard of salary of $50,000 per movie.

Her first film of notice was in 1932 when she played in “War Babies,” part of the “Baby Burlesks” series of short films.

For about 18 years, she sang, tap-danced and acted her way into the hearts of millions. Her corkscrew curls were popular with little girls from the 1930s through the 1970s.

Early years

Her star shone brightest as a toddler, and 20th Century Fox cranked out a series of feature films with the adorable, talented little girl. Her hits included “Little Miss Marker” (1934), “Curly Top” (1935) and “The Littlest Rebel” (1935).

At the box office, she beat out the great adult stars of her day, such as Clark Gable and Bing Crosby. Her popularity spawned a large array of merchandizing items, such as dolls, hats and dresses.

She was the top box-office star four years in a row, from 1935 to 1938. Her career was at its peak as the country was suffering the effects of the Great Depression, and her films offered uplifting moments.

But as she got older, the pace of movies slowed, and by 1939, her popularity was fading. She and 20th Century Fox terminated her contract early in 1940, just before she reached her teenage years.

U.S. diplomat

She retired from filmmaking at 22 and married Charles Black, changing her last name from Temple to Temple Black.

But she did not fade from the public eye.

She embarked on a new career as a foreign diplomat: She served in the U.S. delegation to the United Nations from 1969 to 1974 was U.S. ambassador to Ghana from 1974 to 1976, and U.S. ambassador to Czechoslovakia from 1989 to 1992.

“We salute her for a life of remarkable achievements as an actor, as a diplomat, and most importantly as our beloved mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and adored wife of fifty-five years of the late and much missed Charles Alden Black,” a statement said.

Enduring icon

She remained a cultural icon for decades after stepping down from the silver screen.

In 1958, she made a comeback as an entertainer, this time on television, in an hour-long show, “Shirley Temple’s Storybook.”

She later received two lifetime achievement awards for her performing career.

In 1972, Temple Black successfully battled breast cancer.

Funeral arrangements are pending. A remembrance guest book will be set up online at shirleytemple.com.

 

 

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important msg

Celtic Consumer Warnings

Missed a call? ‘One-ring’ cell phone scam could cost you money

Julianne Pepitone NBC News Feb. 3, 2014 at 12:34 PM ET

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If you pick up your phone and see a missed call from a number you don’t recognize, you may want to think twice about calling back.

You could be a potential victim of the growing “one-ring phone scam,” which the Better Business Bureau (BBB) warned consumers about last week. As in most phone-based scams, the perpetrators use auto-dialing computer programs to call phones all over the country.

In this case, the scammers let the phone ring once — just enough to cause a missed call message to pop up on victims’ phones — and then hang up. Victims who call the number back are connected to a paid “adult entertainment service” located overseas.

Those unlucky callers are generally charged a $19.95 international call fee up front, plus $9 or more per minute for the unwanted “service.” (In some cases the scammers charge only a few bucks to the victim’s bill to avoid suspicion.)

The BBB said the scam calls usually come from outside the United States, including from numbers with area codes 268, 809, 876, 284 and 473.

The BBB recommended that consumers ignore incoming or missed calls from out-of-state phone numbers that they don’t recognize, and carefully check cell phone bills.

If you’re really tempted to call back that number, at least pop the digits into Google first. Sites like whocalled.us track complaints and questions about calls from specific numbers, while other online directories can tell in which town and state the phone number is registered.

 

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So I figure if Impish can have his gratuitous flying lizard graphics all the time I can occasionally sneak a little culture/ quality entertainment in. This is a very popular Irish song written back in the 1930’s. A lot of people have done it, few well, much less with 600 kids as the percussion section.

 

Notice how the 600 students are clean-cut looking, and obviously well-disciplined to carry  out this routine… very impressive.  WE could learn a few things from the Irish Education System apparently.


You’re Gonna Miss Me (the Cup Song)

 

Since the song was obviously done in Gaelic I thought you might like a translation of the lyrics:

 

[Verse 1:]
I got my ticket for the long way ’round
Two bottle whiskey for the way
And I sure would like some sweet company
And I’m leaving tomorrow, what do you say

[Chorus 1:]
When I’m gone
When I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me by my hair
You’re gonna miss me everywhere, oh
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

[Verse 2:]
I’ve got my ticket for the long way ’round
The one with the prettiest of views
It’s got mountains, it’s got rivers, it’s got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you

[Chorus 2:]
When I’m gone
When I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me by my walk
You’re gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

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Three recipes designed to bring warmth and comfort (food) on long cold winters nights

Cheesy Ham and Potato Bacon Casserole

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Prep Time: 15 minutes | Cook Time: 30 minutes

Yield: 4-6 servings | Serving Size: 1 cup

An easy but delicious ham and potato casserole with gooey cheese and crisp bacon! Perfect for using up leftovers or a quick dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

  • 6 Red Potatoes, chopped
  • 1/3 cup chopped onion, fine
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 2 cups cooked ham, chopped
  • 1 1/2 cups broccoli, chopped and steamed
  • 4 ounces Neufchatel or light cream cheese, cubed
  • 1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, grated
  • 4 slices of bacon, cooked

Instructions

  1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees and spray an 8×9″ baking pan.
  2. Fill a pot with water and heat over medium heat. Add the potatoes and boil until tender when pierced with a knife, about 8 minutes. SEE NOTE Drain the potatoes and set aside.
  3. In a skillet over medium heat, add the butter and once it begins to melt add the onion. Sauté until tender, about 3 to 4 minutes. Dump the onion and butter into the pot with the potatoes and add the broccoli, ham and cream cheese. Stir to combine, not worrying about spreading the cream cheese as it should be left in clumps and dump into the baking dish. Top with cheese and bake at 350 for 25 to 35 minutes or until heated through. Top with bacon the last minute and serve!

Notes

it’s key that you cook the potatoes until tender during this step or they will still be too raw even with baking for the dish to be enjoyable

 

Crockpot Chicken Spaghetti with Velveeta

This Crockpot Chicken Spaghetti with Velveeta isn’t going to win any Weight Watchers Awards. Nothing too healthy about it at all, but it sure is good!

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Recipe type: Dinner | Cuisine: Italian / Mexican | Prep time:  20 mins

Cook time:  3 hours | Total time:  3 hours 20 mins | Serves: 6 – 8

Ingredients

  • 16 oz. spaghetti, cooked
  • 1 lb. Velveeta Light (2%)Cheese
  • 2 cups cooked, chopped chicken
  • 1 can  cream of mushroom soup
  • 1 can  cream of chicken soup
  • 1 can of petite diced tomatoes
  • 1 4oz. can of mild green chilies
  • 4 oz can mushroom stems & pieces, drained
  • ½ cup water
  • 1 small onion, diced
  • salt & pepper to taste

Instructions

  1. Spray slow cooker with non-stick cooking spray. Combine all ingredients in slow cooker and stir to mix well. Cook on LOW for 2-3 hours.
  2. Seriously, that’s it people! Stir it, of course, as you’re serving….and get all the goodies mixed up real good!

 

Since I’m in Texas and a bunch of Texans are eating this, plus to make my cooking like easier I combine the tomatoes and green chilies by using 2 small (6 oz) drained cans of a Rotel type product in their place. Generally these get dumped into a colander and receive a quick rinse as this cuts down on the heat. You can vary the heat level by buying different heat levels or by simply rinsing one can and just draining (separately) the other.

Again since I’m in Texas and feeding Texans I use green onions and season with Salt, Pepper, Garlic powder and Onion powder or something called Adobo which is a spice blend you get in a shaker in the ethnic foods aisle made by Goya and either Chili Power or Taco seasoning depending which ones I have at any given time (and who is watching me make it).

Lastly this is a great meal for using up leftover roast/rotisserie chicken. If I am planning ahead I’ll serve the white meat and reserve the dark for this or if I am specifically making this recipe I’ll buy chicken thighs to make it with.

 

Best Ever Chocolate Oatmeal No-Bake Bars

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Ingredients

  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 1/2 cup coconut oil (you could also substitute butter)
  • 2 cups old fashioned oats
  • 1 cup shredded coconut
  • 1/2 cup chopped nuts (macadamia or hazel) , raisins, or dried cranberries (crasins) or chopped dried dark cherries
  • 1 1/4 cups dark chocolate chips (or regular semi-sweet chocolate chips, if you prefer)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

Melt the peanut butter, honey, and coconut oil over medium-low heat in a saucepan on the stove. {Watch this closely. Mine started to burn!}

Remove from heat once it’s melted together and add in the oats, shredded coconut, chocolate chips, nuts/raisins, and vanilla. Stir together until the chocolate is completely melted.

Pour into a greased 9×13 pan and cool in the fridge. If you’d like thicker bars, you can pour the mixture into a smaller pan. (or  make a double batch, they won’t go to waste trust me!)

When the mixture is hardened, cut into bars and eat. Store in the refrigerator or freezer.

This is one of the only baking items I make…primarily because its not really baking its cooking. Baking is all chemistry no room for improvisation or interpretation.

I add 2 tablespoons of espresso (I keep instant on hand for cooking) or strong coffee (on the rare occasion there are actually 2 tablespoons left in my pot) to the oil & PB this gives the chocolate a boost and deeper flavor.

I also do the melting in a metal bowl over boiling water double boiler style to avoid any threat of burning which would ruin the mix.

Finally a glass of a nice deep fruity red wine such as Llano Estacado’s Sweet Red not only pars well with this but will ward off any chill you might get from eating a no bake refrigerated dessert bar 

 

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GI Joe, the world’s first action figure, turns 50

Author: The Associated Press

 

SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. –

G.I. Joe is turning 50.

The birthday of what’s called the world’s first action figure is being celebrated this month by collectors and the toy maker that introduced it just before the nation plunged into the quagmire that would become the Vietnam War — a storm it seems to have weathered pretty well.

Since Hasbro brought it to the world’s attention at the annual toy fair in New York City in early 1964, G.I. Joe has undergone many changes, some the result of shifts in public sentiment for military-themed toys, others dictated by the marketplace.

Still, whether it’s the original “movable fighting man” decked out in the uniforms of the four branches of the U.S. military, or today’s scaled-down products, G.I. Joe remains a popular brand.

“Joe stood for everything that was meant to be good: fighting evil, doing what’s right for people,” said Alan Hassenfeld, the 65-year-old former CEO for Pawtucket, R.I.-based Hasbro Inc., whose father, Merrill, oversaw G.I. Joe’s development in 1963.

But it’s Don Levine, then the company’s head of research and development, who is often referred to as the “father” of G.I. Joe for shepherding the toy through design and development. Levine and his team came up with an 11½-inch articulated figure with 21 moving parts, and since the company’s employees included many military veterans, it was decided to outfit the toy in the uniforms of the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force, with such accessories as guns, helmets and vehicles.

Levine, who served in the Army in Korea, said he got the idea for the moveable figure as a way to honor veterans.

But he and his team knew the product wasn’t in Hasbro’s usual mold, and it took years of pitches before Merrill Hassenfeld gave it the company’s full backing.

“Most boys in the ’60s had a father or a relative who was or had been in the military,” said Patricia Hogan, curator at The Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester, home to the National Toy Hall of Fame. “Once you’ve bought Joe, you need to buy all the accessories and play sets and add-ons, which was great for business.”

G.I. Joe hit the shelves in time for the 1964 Christmas shopping season and soon became a big seller at $4 apiece.

It remained popular until the late 1960s, as opposition to Vietnam intensified and parents shied away from military-related toys. Hasbro countered in 1970 by introducing “Adventure Team” G.I. Joes that played down the military connection. Into the ’70s, G.I. Joes featured “lifelike hair” and “kung-fu grip” and were outfitted with scuba gear to save the oceans and explorer’s clothing for discovering mummies.

Hasbro discontinued production later that decade. In the early 1980s, Hasbro shrank Joe to 3¾ inches, the same size as figures made popular by “Star Wars.” It has stuck to that size, with the occasional issue of larger special editions.

Over the decades, G.I. Joe has spawned comic books, cartoons, two movies starring Channing Tatum, and a G.I. Joe Collector’s Club and its annual convention — GIJoeCon — held in Dallas in April. But for many G.I. Joe fans of a certain age, the newer products hold no appeal.

“The 12-inch G.I. Joe built that company,” said Tearle Ashby, of the New York village of Ballston Spa. “The stuff they put out now is garbage.”

Ashby, a psychotherapist who turns 50 in June, played with G.I. Joes as a boy, but few survived, falling victim to encounters with firecrackers and little parachutes that failed to open.

“Casualties of war,” said Ashby, who started collecting 12-inch G.I. Joes 20 years ago and now owns about 2,000.

On Saturday, he and other collectors plan to bring their 12-inch G.I. Joes to the New York State Military Museum in Saratoga Springs to celebrate the 50th birthday.

The exact date of G.I. Joe’s introduction remains hazy. Ashby and others, including Hasbro, believe it was in February 1964 — but American International Toy Fair organizers say it was held in March that year.

Hasbro said it intends to announce details of its 50th anniversary plans during this year’s fair in New York on Feb. 16-19.

G.I. Joe was elected into Toy Hall of Fame in 2004, six years after Barbie was enshrined. Hogan said the hall doesn’t have policies prohibiting toy weapons from induction, although all candidates must be deemed safe. The U.S. was in the early stages of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq a decade ago, so G.I. Joe’s induction didn’t meet the opposition it might have faced as the conflicts dragged on, Hogan said.

“I suspect,” she said, “most people would have acknowledged that G.I. Joe really does belong in the Toy Hall of Fame.”

 

Now you know and knowing is half the battle! GO JOE!

 

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Only with GI Joe– she just moans a lot and fakes it for the jewelry with Ken.

 

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For god’s sakes recognize it for the sarcasm it is already!

 

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Too much serious current political discussion and other seriousness in this issue already so let us look to the future.

Think of me as you’re comedic Celtic version of Nostradamus as I gaze into the peat fueled flames of the fire and pronounce (hopefully humorous)prognostications on the future of our country if we don’t change our course and soon. 

 

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

· Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

· White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language..

· Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

· Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

· Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

· Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

· France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

· Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

· George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

· Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

· 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

· Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

· Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

· Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

· Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.

· Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

· Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

· Supreme Court rules any punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

· Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches.

· New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

· IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

· Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country! It’s The Government That Scares Me!

Stop organized crime. Re-elect no one.

-NOT CONFIRMED BY SNOPES.-

 

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Finally a bit of advice for you guys who will not be getting lucky with your true love on prop up the Greeting Card, Confectioners, Restaurant & Flower Industries Valentine’s Day…

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some people waiting in my limo who want to talk to me about their Valentine’s Day expectations.

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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