Leprechaun Laughs #214 for Oct 9th 2013


image

OK some of you e-mail subscribers might have noticed you’re not getting the full issue anymore in your e-mails. To find out why go to the blog at Dragonlaffs.com like we’ve been trying to get you to do for nearly 3 years now.

You find your way here? Good! The short answer is you will not be receiving the entire issue in your e-mail any longer because of changes we made in the way the issue posts. These were deliberate changes designed to get people to come to the blog for a couple of reasons.

The first was to see the issue as we intended it to appear. We take a lot of time and effort in crafting each issue. Too much to have it appear all hacked up in an e-mail.

The second was to get our viewing count up to where we know it should be so that we can attract some advertisers and generate some revenue to offset the costs incurred with running the blog. The cost of the domain and hosting go up every year and we cannot continue to count on your generosity to fund it.

Likewise, we do not want to go to a subscription based fee system. The problem with attracting advertisers is all they want to know is how many people you reach. Our blog count hovers around 200 to 250 depending on the issue but we have nearly 3 times that who stubbornly insist on using the outmoded e-mail method of viewing which we cannot count in our hit and therefore will never be able to qualify for an advertising revenue stream.

Hence we after asking and explaining nicely at least 3 times a year  for each year we have been here were finally forced to take steps to force you to come to the blog to see the issues so that we could ensure the continuation of the blog. Regrettable but necessary for the blogs survival.

Now, enough explaining, lets make with the snort of hot coffee out your nasal passages and all over your screen & keyboard shall we?

Lets Roll-99

c2l0ZTovLzIwMTAvMTEvbG9nb3RpcG9zX2dlbmlhaXNfaGF6bm9zXzMwX3RodW1iLmpwZ3w2MjB4MzIy_large

1001737_557844274273060_184842914_n

‘Viagra’ is  now available in tea bags.  It doesn’t enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

image

So Impish was walking around grumbling​, snorting out little clouds of smoke where he went and generally setting off all the smoke detectors the other day.

In an attempt to remain on the good side of the local volunteer Fire Department w/o forking over more coin for yet another engine to appease them from all the Impish instigated false alarms I ask him what the problem was.

“She told me to peel half the potatoes from the bag and put them in the pot of water!” he fumed. “Women! Ya try to help and get friggin’ yelled at !??! How is that right?” he queried.

Knowing Impish as well as I do, I figured I wasn’t seeing the whole picture here, especially since he seemed to be in the right and actually have a point here.

So I texted Mrs. Dragon and asked her about the source of Impish’s foul mood. She declined to comment and just sent me this photo by way of an explanation.

!cid_10B1B4DA-DEC6-4959-92B7-DC647CBFFF4C

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the
sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the
same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can
also be very dangerous.

Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the
resurrection, a little boy raised his hand……..

!cid_X_MA1_1380834559@aol

The pastor called on him and the little boy said,

“I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

g587

The Top 20 Movies About the Government Shutdown

20. 435 Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

19. The GOPs Must Be Crazy

18. Nightmare on K Street

17. Raging Bullshit

16. The Baracky Horror Picture Show

15. The Out-of-Touchables

14. No Healthcare for Old Men

13. Incompetence Day

12. Mr. Cruz Blows Up Washington

11. Incumbent Basterds

10. Careless Boehner’s Day Off

09. The Silence of the Dems

08. The Whining

07. Kindergarten Crap

06. Blazing Assholes

05. Kill Bills: Vols. 1-44

04. Crazy, Stupid Gov

03. The Men Who Shot Liberty’s Balance

02. Lamer vs. Lamer

And the Number One Movie About the Government Shutdown…

01. Total Recall… PLEASE!

image

 

DL Introspection Header

Give me 15 minutes and a Louisville Slugger and I’d resolve this government shutdown the REAL American way.

image

Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.”
Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
Cowboy: “Nah… She’s purty good lookin’…..”

image

deep-in-thought-500

SOME HARD TRUE FACTS!!!

I have not read of a single dollar reduction in foreign aid as a result of sequestering. All items cut were for the express purpose of hurting the American taxpayer/working people the most!

Well?

DEMOCRAT and  Republican politicians are ‘different’ ONLY in name when it comes to what they are doing to the WE THE PEOPLE currently.

We read all the jokes and forward the good ones but I just wonder who will pass this one on. How about you sending it on, if you have enough ’intestinal fortitude’ to do so.  I’m the Lethal Leprechaun and I do. That’s why you are seeing it here. 

Someone please tell me what the Hell’s wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!

Both Democrats and Republicans  say,

“We’re broke and we have crushing debit measured in TRILLIONS of dollars” and as a result can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless, Etc.,?

But, over the last several years THEY have provided direct cash aid to…..

Hamas – $351 M,

Libya    $1.45 B,

Egypt – $397 M,

Mexico – $622 M,

Russia – $380 M,

Haiti –    $1.4 B,

Jordan – $463 M,

Kenya – $816 M,

Sudan – $870 M,

Nigeria – $456 M,

Uganda – $451 M,

Congo – $359 M,

Ethiopia – $981 M,

Pakistan – $2 B,

South Africa – $566 M,

Senegal – $698 M,

Mozambique – $404 M,

Zambia – $331 M,

Kazakhstan – $304 M,

Iraq    –   $1.08 B,

Tanzania – $554 M,

…with literally Billions of Dollars and they still hate us!!!!

But on the other hand,  our retired seniors, living on a ‘fixed income,’ Receive NO aid!

Nor do they get any breaks, while our government And religious organizations will pour Hundreds of Billions Of $$$$$$’s and Tons of  Food  to Foreign Countries!

Someone needs to explain to them that Charity begins AT HOME!!!

And here is yet another atrocity….

We have Hundreds of adoptable American Children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of Foreign orphans!

AMERICA: A country where we have countless Homeless without shelter, Children going to bed hungry, Elderly going without needed medication and the Mentally ill without treatment — etc.

YET……….

They will have a ‘Benefit’ Show for the people of Haiti, on 12 TV Stations; Ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies. Now Just Imagine if

Our own *GOVERNMENT*  gave ‘US’ the same support they give to foreign countries.!

Sad, isn’t it?

99% of people won’t have the ’intestinal fortitude’ to forward this.

WELL, I’m one of the 1% who just did, are YOU?

image

image

Lethal’ s Fresh Herb Rub

1/4c Coarse or Kosher Sea Salt
1/3c Olive Oil
2 tsp. Chopped Fresh Rosemary
1 Tbsp. Finely Chopped Fresh Thyme
2 tsp. Finely Chopped Oregano
1 tsp. Freshly Ground Black Pepper
3 Tbsp. Chopped Garlic

Mix all ingredients in a small bowl to form a paste.
Rub directly onto prepared meat or poultry.
Cover with wrap and allow to marinade 1 hour to overnight in
refrigerator before cooking.

Makes enough rub for 6 to 8 servings of meat.

 I have one of those Ronco Rotisseries and use this basic recipe substituting a coarse ground or stone ground mustard for the Olive Oil and rub this liberally over the scored surface of a boneless half pork loin and allow it to sit for 4 hours before placing in the rotisserie. The result is a really blacken crust on the outside and some of the most juicy and flavorful pork you have ever tasted!

When Molly’s family comes visiting they offer to buy the Pork Loin if I’ll make it for them its that good.

Smoked Sausage & Tortellini Soup

1 lb. Smoked Sausage Links
4 Tbsp. Olive Oil
5 Cloves Garlic Minced
1/4 White Wine (optional)
3 14 oz. cans Low Sodium Chicken Broth
18 oz. refrigerated Cheese tortellini
1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes
6 oz. baby spinach leaves
Parmesan Cheese for serving garnish (optional)

Heat 1 to 2 Tbsp. of the oil in a Dutch oven and sauté smoked sausage links until well browned. Remove from pan allow to cool slightly and slice into small pieces. Set aside.

Heat remaining oil in oven sauté garlic 30 seconds or until fragrant. Stir in wine & broth bring to boil. Cook about 2 minutes, then add tortellini. Cook for another 3 to 4 minutes then add in spinach and diced tomatoes. Continue cooking until spinach wilts about another 2 minutes. Return sautéed sliced sausage to soup and heat through. Top with Parmesan Cheese if desired. Refrigerate any leftovers.

Serves 6

image

image

Impish- stop laughing and start taking notes. You’ve got a daughter!

 image

Last week I mentioned what a racket the USPS has going and the excessive starting wage these people make. Apparently I struck a chord with some of you because I received more than a few Postal Rage related comments  items and links in my Inbox.

I figured I’d share a few of them with the rest of you.

Laziest Most Disrespectful Mail Carrier in the World

 

post-office-cartoon-david-horsey

 

4608-thmb-img_1166_gi

 

lazy-mailman

For this kind of treatment we should pay half a buck to send a letter?

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run….run!

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: “R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!”

A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams “R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!”

The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling “R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!” All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.

A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, “He doesn’t have to run, he’s got four balls.”

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, “Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!”

image

image

Samuel L. Jackson disses Obama’s pronunciation: “Be f**king Presidential … stop trying to ‘relate'”

By Hollie McKay Published September 25, 2013 FoxNews.com

LOS ANGELES –  Samuel L. Jackson has some words of wisdom for President Obama when it comes to his deliberate dropping of “g’s” off the ends of words to seemingly sound like Joe Average.

“First of all, we know it ain’t because of his blackness, so I say stop trying to ‘relate.’  Be a leader.  Be f**king presidential,” Jackson told Playboy magazine. “Look, I grew up in a society where I could say ‘It ain’t’ or ‘What it be’ to my friends. But when I’m out presenting myself to the world as me, who graduated from college, who had family what cared about me, who has a well-read background, I f**king conjugate.”

The 64-year-old actor, who stars this fall in the highly-anticipated remake of “Oldboy,” is also known in social media circles as the “grammar police.”

“On Twitter someone will write, ‘Your an idiot,’ and I’ll go, ‘No, you’re an idiot,’ and all my Twitterphiles will go, ‘Hey, Sam Jackson, he’s the grammar police.’  I’ll take that,” he continued. “Somebody needs to be. I mean, we have newscasters who don’t even know how to conjugate verbs, something Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow never had problems with.  How the f**k did we become a society where mediocrity is acceptable.”

The famed actor also staunchly defended director Quentin Tarantino’s controversial use of the “N” word in last year’s hit “Django Unchained.”

“These 20-somethings can’t turn around and tell me the word n**ger is f**ked-up in ‘Django’ yet still listen to Jay Z or whoever else say ‘n**ger, n**ger, n**ger’ throughout the music they listen to,” he told the men’s magazine. “You can’t have it one way and not the other. Saying Tarantino said ‘n**ger’ too many times is like complaining they said ‘kike’ too many times in a movie about Nazis.”

image

image

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs #214 for Oct 9th 2013

  1. Dolly says:

    Thank you for all of your hard work and extra effort that you put into your mailings. I will definitely force myself to remember to go to your blog….it would be a shame to miss out on your wonderful hospitality….thank you again.

  2. Don Castle says:

    Good Evening Mr. Leprechaun And Surly dragon. I have read your blog for a few years now and I find that you are both usually in the realm of right over half the ime [ slightly ] In any case I would venture something that has been apparent to me for both of your considerations. Do you believe it is possible that all this “shut down” and credit crisis is a big ruse to deflect the attention away from the Irs debacle not to mention benghazi,nsa,and assorted other coverup’s??? While I am far from a conspiracy nut The president and those who surround him are MASTERS of “watch this hand” and forget about the other. I do believe the deal has been struck for some days [ if not weeks ] to stop this wanton stupidity. But they are bying time [ ALL of them ] To get past the other.

    • impishdragon says:

      Hi Don,
      First of all, thank you very much for being such a loyal reader. As to us being right (slightly) over half the time, well…if I’m right over half the time and Lethal is right over half the time that means between the two of us we are right more than ALL the time! So, yeah. I agree with you there. Between the two of us we are right all the ….. Okay, so yeah, nevermind.
      Anyway, as to your thoughts about deflecting attention away from other things. There is proof, if you know where to look, of prior knowledge of things to come. I’ll give you a small example.
      In order to get anything done, logistically, in the government, there are certain steps that need to be taken. Some of which include sending the project out for bids, getting at least 3 bids, production oversight, etc. So, how is it that in less than 8 hours after the government shut down, there were identical professionally made signs, with nice little logos and such, at every state park, monument, historical sight and any other government facility that was closed down? They had to have been ordered months ago, shipped to all the facilities and lay in wait for the right day. Which means that someone KNEW months ago at the very least, that this was going to happen.
      So when you start hearing the stories that the president is telling the democrats NOT to accept an offer, but to let the government shut down, and you hear stories of the parks dept being told to make it as tough as possible on people, and on and on. Yes. I can see our country being manipulated right into the exact location that they want us.
      Let’s face it, most Americans are more concerned where there next welfare check is, whether they got the best Obama phone, how much they can GET from the rest of us who are actually working for a living, they are little more then lemmings, contentedly walking off the fiscal cliff, the freedom cliff, or any other cliff of their choosing.
      I don’t know if all this is a distracting device for the likes of Bengazi and Syria or if Bengazi and Syria weren’t part of the Administrations plans to push us all in the direction they wanted us to go.
      There is another great big giant shoe getting ready to drop. I can feel it, I know it’s coming. I just think we all better be ready.
      Thanks again for writing Don. I hope I answered your questions.
      Impish Dragon

  3. paul says:

    I agree w/Jerry – I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now – but it’s a great help
    to have an email to remind me to go to the blog to read it all – and today’s reminder email
    does that just fine – thanks for all your hard work….

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Rest assured everyone that you’ll keep getting the reminder e-mail any & every time we publish something on the blog. Won’t matter which of us publishes, you’ll get an e-mail similar to what you got today

      • Dawn says:

        Thank you so much, for all you do for your readers. I like the blog better too,but, I would sure appreciate an e-mail reminder. Thanks

  4. Tom Wilkerson says:

    I have no problem going to the blog. However, I hope you keep sending the email reminders. Otherwise, I wouldnt think to go to the web.

    I appreciate your efforts.

    ~Tomw

  5. Steve says:

    Thanks for the explanation and your web page is much more appealing than just an email. Another thing is that Outlook makes us view it in a browser if we want to see everything. And I too thank you for your excellent blog.

  6. Jerry M says:

    I like the blog better than the e mail. However with that said, an e mail reminder to go to the blog is nice. Oft time I get busy and forget to go to my favorites list and check on sites that I like. Out of site (sic) out of mind.

  7. Kris says:

    Much better on the blog than in the email … thanks for your hard work 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s