Dragon Laffs #1342


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Good Morning Campers!
Okay, not buying it huh?
So I’m about 16 hours late with this issue.
Sorry.  It was beyond my control.
I have a lot of pull around here, but Mom Nature just isn’t one of them that’s in my sphere of influence.  So, sorry.  I’ll try to be a bit further ahead next week and then if something similar happens, I can post the issue and have it ready to automatically post.
Again, my apologies.  Now…

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Oh, by the way…this issue is going to be a bit more American Freedom leaning then most.  No, I’m not against the democrats, nor am I for the Republicans.
I AM AN AMERICAN!
AND THAT’S A MUCH MORE IMPORTANT DISTINCTION!

9

After a tiring day, a commuting Impish Dragon settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled
out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:
“Hi sweetheart.It’s Sue. I’m on the train”.
“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.
“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.
“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.
“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
 
When our illustrious dragon sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,
“Come on Sue honey, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”
 
Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer. 

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coollogo_com-83606855_thumbDragonPapa1 (218)

This is the best mousetrap I have ever used, 5 gal bucket with a gal of RV antifreeze dumped in the bottom,  plastic bottle with a coat hanger thru it and some peanut butter on the middle of the bottle.

Lean a board up against the side and it works all year without checking it and no smell.

I love rednecks, they are the most ingenious group of people I have ever seen.   
Redneck Mouse Trap 

7a

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Time for a moment of political commentary that makes sense and is logical.  I’ m sure, therefore, that some government oversight committee will take it down soon.  So, why not click on the video and check it out?  “What video?” you ask.  Okay, so you have to go to our website first, so click here: http://dragonlaffs.com and then read this blog there and you’ll be able to see the video.  And while you’re there, how about clicking on the donation link in the right hand column and drop us a buck or two?  And thanks to the StrikeOwl for pointing out this video.  I love ya bro!
And yeah!  Just for the point of it, I’m NOT too much of a “man” to say I love you to my brother in public!  Think of how much nicer the world would be if more people did.

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7cCOSTELLO: I want to talk about  the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject.  Terrible Times. It’s 7.8%.

COSTELLO: That many people  are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%.

COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.

ABBOTT: 7.8%  Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 14.7%.

COSTELLO: Okay,  so it’s 14.7% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 7.8%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?

ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can’t count the “Out of  Work” as the unemployed.  You have to look for work to be  unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO:  What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work  can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for  work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up,  you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that  would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment  would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment  just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT:  Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 7.8%. Otherwise it  would be 14.7%.
 
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That  means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO:  Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT:  Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if  you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment  down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for  work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like an Economist.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like  Congress.

7b

I was sitting at home the other night and got a text message from Lethal Leprechaun.
Molly loves me. I got home late last night
after
a full day of golfing
and drinking with the boys
the wife left a message in the kitchen.
7dSee, Molly is telling me to
eat more fruit . . .


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President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, could you please cash this check for me?”

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”

Obama: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!”

Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of 9/11, impostors, forgers, money laundering, and bad mortgage underwriting not to mention requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”

Obama: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

Cashier: “I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

Obama: “I am urging you, please, to cash this check. I need to buy a gift for Michelle for Valentine’s Day”

Cashier: “Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into one of our bank branches without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a coffee cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

Another time, Andre Agassi came into the same place without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in a coffee cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?”

Obama: Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, my mind is a total blank…there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don’t have a clue.

Cashier: Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?

And continuing on the same trail….let’s get a few things straight…

8No kidding.  They got elected and now they want to be kings and dukes and earls and what not.  THE ONLY REASON FOR GOVERNMENT IS INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL SECURITY!  If one state wants to attack another state, then the government is there to make them come to a table and work out their differences judiciously.  If another country wants to come in and take what’s ours, then our government’s job is to kick their asses!
THAT’S IT!  That is supposed to be their ONLY purpose!
They have taxed us into almost non-existence.

Websites to visitThanks to the great folks at Make Use Of (www.makeuseof.com) who pointed out this Way Cool Web Site To Visit!  If you have any geek or nerd in you at all, you’ll let these great pictures bring you back in time and visit upon you some really good memories.
http://corankizerstone.deviantart.com/gallery/

Okay, and here’s another cool one to visit.  This one is from my Dad, and it’s an age calculator.  A little peek at the future…

Watch your age in the upper right corner!

Kinda fun to watch your age go up and down as you answer the questions.

Now this is interesting, give it a try….

How long will you live? This is a calculator that estimates your life expectancy.

It was developed by Northwestern Mutual Life. It’s interesting that there are only 13 questions. 
Yet, they can predict how long you’re likely to live.


http://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan

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broAin’t that the truth!!!! Can I hear a HUGE AMEN from all my military brothers?

HoustonHey there Neil, you ain’t doin’ it right!

parentingHmm, speaking of not doin’ it right…

Quick
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595Yeah, I’ve had that problem before..

609That is such a GREAT idea!  If only we could have a chance to try that out!!!

596Not sure ironic is exactly the word you’re looking for.

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597That is an excellent question.
Does anyone else have any questions?

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So, on with the truth in blogging.  We mentioned earlier about how the only responsibility the federal government is supposed to have is the defense of our country.  Well, what about states rights and responsibilities and local governments?  Well, happily, the courts have realized in this case the stupidity and down-right illegality of this next attempt to take our rights away from us.

New York City’s big-soda ban in restaurants ruled unconstitutional

 

NEW YORK — New York City’s crackdown on big, sugary sodas is staying on ice.

An appeals court ruled Tuesday that New York City’s Board of Health exceeded its legal authority and acted unconstitutionally when it tried to put a size limit on soft drinks served in city restaurants.

The state Supreme Court Appellate Division panel upheld a lower court decision that had delayed the measure before it took effect in March.

The rule would stop many eateries from selling non-diet soda and other sugar-laden beverages in containers bigger than 16 ounces.

The beverage industry and other opponents say the measure is riddled with exceptions, unfair and ineffective.

The city’s law department has promised an appeal.

By studying the trends of the West over the last one hundred plus years, a person can quickly see that free enterprise has morphed into Corporatism, Fascism, and Statism – systems of state and corporate controls over consumers.  This transfers power from the consumers to the hands of a few government and business bureaucrats, who, through a lack of character, exploit consumers for their personal benefit.  Any economic system that denies the consumer his right to choose promotes someone else to be the final arbiter of his wishes, mocking the free-enterprise system.  When a person comprehends this, it doesn’t take long to connect the dots, understanding why exploiters passionately dislike free enterprise.  For if every business remained free from government special deals, exploiters would be forced to compete against other companies by serving costumers rather than by coercing them.

Governments provide the largest fields for exploitation since they have no competitors because they own the monopoly of force in society.  For this reason, it is crucial to keep government involvement in the economy to a bare minimum.  Free enterprise, by making the customer king, ensures that all businesses are created to serve customers, not customers created to serve businesses. ~ Orrin Woodward in the book Resolved.

8a

It’s not just the president, Mike.  ANY ELECTED OFFICIAL who lies or takes part in any kind of cover-up is not fit to govern.  I don’t care if it’s the president or the locally elected dog catcher!  And any one of them who said they didn’t know what the people who work under them were doing, also needs to be fired for being too damn stupid  to be in office!

8bYup!  Exactly my point!  Too damn stupid to be in office!

8cAny governing official who doesn’t understand that they are there to SERVE the people, not have the people serve them, doesn’t need to be a governing official.  I want someone in office who understands that they serve at the pleasure of the American People!

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.”
— Winston Churchill

Below are some of the  best sentences you’ll ever read:
Unfortunately, most voters don’t know this.
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

8d8e
8f“The greatest crisis in America is a crisis of leadership, and the greatest crisis of leadership is a crisis of character.”

“At what price does he switch from being a producer to being an exploiter?  This is the price at which one sells out his character.”

“Leaders of character must be developed to stem the advancing tide of exploitation flowing across the Western World.”

~Orrin Woodward in Resolved

8gAnd why are 680,000 AMERICAN Department of Defense Civilians having 20% of their pay taken from them?

8l8m8n8oReally?  Does this look like leadership to you that has integrity and character?
Does this look like a Federal Government who are doing nothing more than looking out for the defense of our country?
Does this look like the Government that YOU want to have?

Have any of you ever read about the fall of the Roman Empire?  Well, if you haven’t, don’t worry about it.  It’s happening right here in our country right now and you’ve got a front row seat!

Wake up my brothers and sisters!  It’s time we do something about it!

[Anyone interested in getting a copy of Resolved: 13 Resolutions for LIFE by New York Times bestselling author Orrin Woodward, let me know and I can tell you how you can purchase your own copy.]
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