APRIL 15th IS TAX DAY! That’s a scant 5 days away!

WOW! I haven’t seen the front row of an audience get sprayed with so much food and liquid particles since the last time I attended a Gallagher concert and he dragged out the Sledge-o-matic! Too bad they caught it all in the back of the head this time!

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, ‘I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?’

She says, ‘Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.’

‘And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for?’

‘We use it for sex.’

The researcher was a little taken back. ‘Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.

I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?’

The woman says, ‘I don’t mind telling you at all…my husband and I put it on the door knob and the kids can’t open the door.

And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke…!

Young and Foolish

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.

This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, “Guess who?”

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, “Guess where!”

I’m never drinking again
I’m never drinking again.
I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again.

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

I’m never drinking again

NEVER EVER again!!

The American Indian Counsel has requested that the NFL disassociate itself with Indian Names.

The Washington Redskins will therefore change their name to the Washington Foreskins in honor of all the pricks in Washington DC, effective immediately.

6 Tips for Safely E-Filing Taxes

Linda Rosencrance, TechNewsDaily  April 08 2013 09:47 AM ET

A wrong click or a weak password can endanger an e-filer’s most sensitive financial and personal data. Here’s how taxpayers who chose to electronically file taxes can avoid identity thieves and scammers.

6 Tips for Safely E-Filing Taxes

Scratch spear fishing off my bucket list.

Talk about a pain in the ass… makes me almost sorry I shot Impish!

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa Convention in San Francisco and several members lunched at a local cafe.
While dining, they discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa!
The group debated and presented ideas and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
“Ma’am,” they said, “we couldn’t help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker.”
“Oh,” the waitress interrupted, “sorry about that.”
She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

At least it is until it permanently takes up residence on your hips, which requires more ice cream to be happy about…. That is until it too permanently takes up residence on your hips, which requires more ice cream to be happy about….. That is until that 1/2 gallon joins the others already permanently residing on your hips which requires more ice cream to be happy about……

Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined – Patrick Henry

Samuel Adams proposed that the Constitution:

    Be never construed to authorize Congress to infringe the just liberty of the press, or the rights of conscience; or to prevent the people of the United States, who are peaceable citizens, from keeping their own arms; or to raise standing armies, unless when necessary for the defense of the United States, or of some one or more of them; or to prevent the people from petitioning, in a peaceable and orderly manner, the federal legislature, for a redress of their grievances: or to subject the people to unreasonable searches and seizures.

They say “you can never go home again.” Usually that means that nothing stays the same as your memories of home and that you can never go back to that idealistic place in your memory.

For me, as of  last week it is now a literal as well as figurative fact. Last week my ”home” state of Connecticut past the strictest, most oppressive gun laws in the nation surpassing even California’s in a political careers motivated knee jerk reaction to the events in Newtown.

Now because of those laws, once they begin to take effect in October, I will never be able to return to Connecticut as I refuse to give up my God and Constitutionally assured right to protect myself and my family both from those that would do us violent harm as well as our out of control rapidly becoming tyrannical Big Brother government by accepting restrictions on my ability to purchase weapon and ammo.

Now do not misunderstand me, there are some points of the law I concede support to and think that they make sense on a National level as well. However these points fall short of the needed mark  and are overshadowed by the Draconian restrictions being placed on your Second Amendment rights.

Here are some of the legislation’s key provisions:

1. A ban on military-style semiautomatic weapons. Connecticut will expand its assault weapon ban to include guns that have military-style features such as the Bushmaster AR-15 that was used in the Sandy Hook shooting.

2. A ban on ammunition magazines with more than 10 rounds. In one of the key areas of compromise in crafting the law, it will ban future sale of magazines with more than 10 rounds, but not ban possession of magazines already owned at the time the law takes effect. Owners of larger magazines will be required to register them with the state starting Jan. 1, 2014, though, and their use will be restricted to gun ranges. If a resident after that is caught possessing an “unregistered” high-capacity magazine, they could be charged and also forfeit the right to have a handgun permit in Connecticut.

3.Universal background checks. They will now be required for all gun purchases.

4. A permit for ammunition purchases. An “eligibility certificate” will be required for the purchase of ammunition starting Oct. 1. Previously in Connecticut, anyone could by ammunition.

5. A permit requirement for long guns. A similar permit will be required to purchase rifles and shotguns, whereas previously Connecticut required a permit only to carry handguns.

6. Creation of the country’s first gun offender registry. The names of people convicted of gun-related crimes will be placed on a sex offender-like registry that law enforcement will be able to access.

7. School security and bullying. The law establishes a commission to review school building security and requires schools to develop safety and security plans by Jan. 1, 2014. It also requires school districts to investigate “bullying and disturbing and threatening behavior.”

8. Mental health. The law commissions a “comprehensive look” at mental health with a report due back to the legislature in a year. It requires training of school staff in “mental health first aid” and more training for pediatricians in recognizing mental health issues. The law also requires insurance companies to make “faster decisions” about whether they’ll cover mental health and substance abuse treatment in a particular case.

9. Keeping violent offenders in prison. The law would adjust a controversial Connecticut early release program established a few years ago to require that no “violent offender” be released from prison in the state before serving at least 85 percent of his or her sentence.

10. ‘Safe storage’ requirements. The law strengthens rules requiring gun owners to safely store and lock guns in their home to keep away access to children by putting a burden on gun owners to keep weapons away from adults known to suffer from mental illness.

While I am in full agreement with points 2, 3 6, 9 & 10, points points 7, 8 and even point 9 have no place in a Gun Control Law.

These points (7,8 & 9) are just quid pro quo politics at best. Things thrown into the law that people could not get support for and passed any other way at best. Standard “you-want-my-support-for-your-important-bill-you-accept-my-totally-off-point-rider/amendment-to-it-in-exchange” everyday bullshit politics at its most blatant

At worst these are “political landmines” placed there designed so that the liberals can self righteously spin, distort and twist the truth against anyone who dares to challenge the law by saying that in challenging the law  those who do so are against these particular provisions in retaliation for the challenge[s].

I also find point 8 extremely interesting in its time frame. There are arguably 2 parties that at the root of the Newtown matter are responsible for the actions of the shooter. His mother for failure to secure the weapons in a proper safe and foolproof manner and  THE STATE OF CONNECTICUT for it’s LONG history of piss poor Mental Health help. The mother is dead but the State of Connecticut gets an entire additional year to white wash an answer for its culpability in the issue! How self-servingly generous of the Connecticut General Assembly! I digress however.

Just last week a scant day before the bill passed I posted a Parting Shot warning of the peril of gun registry citing Canada as a prime example of the misuse of such a registry and reasoning against such a registry. Now such a registry will exist and as I am writing this (4/9) our Oppressor-of- Constitutional-Rights-in-Chief (who has publically admitted to feeling constrained by the Constitution) is in Newtown saying that Connecticut’s law which sets a new high in Second Amendment Oppression should be the guide post for a National Gun Law and you see rabid liberal anti gun zealots flashing signs of their ultimate goal:

People listen to U.S Senators Richard Blumenthal and Chris Murphy, Congresswoman Elizabeth Esty, Newtown First Selectman Pat Llodra, and representatives of anti-gun groups that advocate for gun control legislation that includes the Newtown Action Alliance, the Sandy Hook Promise, Connecticut Against Gun Violence and the Mothers United Against Violence during a rally with speeches on the steps of Hartford City Hall Friday April 5, 2012 calling for strict federal gun control legislation and to continue the momentum for more gun control in states across the country. Friday, April 5, 2013.

I could continue this discussion but I’m sure you folks by now have exhausted your attention spans and I have talked myself into a disgusted depression and sickness of my America loving heart. Instead I’ll leave you with this video to consider: