Dragon Laffs #1319


Header60Good Morning Campers!
Strange goings-on around here lately.  There has been almost a complete lack of traffic on the crazy net.  It makes me worried that our usual hecklers and enemies might be having some troubles.  On the Dragon or Leprechaun Laffs  Idiotic List, also known as the DOLLI List, there are numerous quiet contacts.  It’s actually kind of scary.  Like, something is in the works.  When it gets this quiet, we get worried.
Anyway, this issue is just chock full of all kinds of fun stuff…what do you say we just go ahead and get started with the fun and see where Saturday takes us.

 


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12aI would like to make a very open statement about the above picture.
Supposedly, one of my very over zealous fans snapped this picture, trying to set up Lethal’s cats.Sherlock Holmes Impish
If you look very closely though, the dog has a faint tattoo of me on his chest.  I’m not sure if he attempted to hide it, or if, in fact, it was added, a la Photoshop, to try to implicate me.  If you think about it, depending on which theory you espouse, either someone is trying to set up me or someone is trying to set up Lethal. 
This is definitely going to require some more investigation…
stay_tuned

 

The Way Spain Gets Rid of Stupid People
Click here now
Click here: Getting rid of stupid people

 

 

A real time weather window, billboard…

9

On January 2nd of this year Davy Jones,
lead singer for the 60’s pop group the Monkeys passed away.
The following morning headlines in the Washington Post
read LEAD MONKEY DEAD.
It took the secret service several hours to get Joe Biden
to calm down and stop running around the white house yelling,
“I’m the President!”

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DragonPapa1 (212)
I love my dad, he sends me the best, almost-dirty jokes… (and some pretty good snappers, too.  LOL!)

The Sensuous Wife

“Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife.

“No,” said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

“Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?” she asked.

“Uh, no,” he said.

She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

“Now,” she said, “Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?”

“No,” he said, now really intrigued.

“Well, go look in the garage…”

steam rollerevilsmiley

7

Truly, one of my favorite jokes of all time, mostly because I really didn’t see it coming the first time I read it!

~A Cup of Tea ~

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.

My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’  Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet?”

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This guy is friggin’ AWESOME!!!!

Here are some pictures that Mrs. Dragon gathered for me to celebrate spring.  She calls them, Mothers showing off their new spring babies.  I just call them:
coollogo_com-272611461cawwwwI know, I know….get them all out of your system now, so we can get to the rest of them.  If you ladies are going to oooh! and awwww! over everyone of these, we’ll never get to the rest of the funny stuff.
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1gYes, yes, I know.  That one is especially adorable.  So one more in an effort to say:
coollogo_com-19834381hThanks for the pictures, my love!

Thanks to the Todd for this one…oh, I’m sorry, let me fix that…
Thanks to The Todd for this one.

My wife called me at work.  She was concerned about our nine-year-old son.  It wasn’t a school day and it was raining and he wasn’t outside, as was the norm and had decided to play in his room instead. 

When I got home, my wife told me what had been going on.  “Your son is playing with dolls!”

Gee, I thought we had gotten past all that some years ago where now boys play with “action figures” and have mock battles or Viking wars and such.  After all, I went through a GI Joe phase there for awhile.

But then my wife brought up the issue of his sexuality and “perverted male tendencies” and I became concerned.  Was my son showing early signs that he might be gay?  Was he putting girl clothes on boy dolls and such?  I was also doubly concerned because my wife told me that she had also caught him with her pocketbook and was walking down the hall with it.  Geez…this could be serious.

I had to check it out.  I was worried.

Later, I told my wife that the boy is fine.  He’s doing what most guys who work hard construction jobs might do on rainy day when you can’t work outside.  (see photo)

Honestly, I see a bright future for that boy.

01a1


Sherlock updateSome new information has come to light in regards to our little mystery.
It seems that we have a witness who managed to snap this picture:
1dSeems that our dog in the first picture was … um… dog-napped.  I contacted some of my old buddies from the Indiana State Police and had them run the plate.  MEOW-1 comes back to a covert group of felines based out of Houston, Texas.  Freedom Fighting Felines (FFF or F³) are a little known, extremely violent group of cats that originated in South Texas and have since spread to most parts of the United States.  Interpol believes that their numbers, at the present small, are growing in Europe and Asia.  The Asiatic members claim (unsubstantiated) to have ninja training.  A department at Lethal’s Legal Firm, Dewey, Chetum and Howe, specifically the private investigators of Snoop, Poop and Scoop, believe the dog has been “picked up for questioning.”  More to follow so…
stay_tuned
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A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, “This is a tree.”
The chief looks at the tree and grunts,”Tree.”
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, “This is a rock.”
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, “Rock.”

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, “Man riding a bike.”
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years  teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied,  “My bike.”

5a

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter
tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple
question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?”

The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when
everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”

“Wrong!,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the
same question, “What is Easter?”

The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we
put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of
Jesus.”

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells
her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and
asks, “What is Easter?”

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I
know what Easter is.”

“Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously.

“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last
supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one
of his disciples. The  Romans took him to be crucified and he was
stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a
cross with nails through his hands. He  was buried in a nearby cave
which was sealed off by a large
boulder.”

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so
that Jesus can come out… and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six
more weeks of winter.”

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Every
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kids

A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood  before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they passed a rule that  whenever the pastor’s family expanded; so would his  paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and  the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss  the pastor’s expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued,  as to how much the pastor’s additional children were costing  the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the  pastor rose from his chair and spoke, “Children are a   gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives  us.”
Silence fell over the congregation.

In the back  pew, a little old lady struggled  to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, “Rain is also  a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear  rubbers.”

 

The entire  congregation said, “Amen.”

 

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15
18
Sherlock update

Well, I have another update for you guys…this one is a little odd.
We were notified, by currier… a group called Kwik Kitty Karriers (KKK) and no, I don’t know if we should take any meaning from that 3 letter acronym, but I will say that they scampered in, dropped the package, got a signature, got a cuddle from Friday, Lethal’s personal assistant, and purred their way back out the front (public) entrance to DL&LL Electronic Media Industries, LLC.  As an aside, just because we have a public entrance should not lead any of you to believe that we have a real open or very public persona.  You won’t find us listed in any phone book or on any Google map, so just the fact that they FOUND us speaks volumes for their intelligence.
Anyway, they found us, and delivered to us a small thumb drive that, among other things,  had several documents, pictures and a couple of videos of the questioning… okay, let’s call it what it is… interrogation and torture… of this dog, being performed by the Freedom Fighting Felines. 
Being sensitive campers that you all are, we are not going to show you the videos full of blood and howling.  We were able to get a transcript of what happened and we took this still shot from one of the videos and printed the text that was going on.
1d1This was actually taken before they could get the dog out of the van.  So, it leads me to believe that at this point in time, he believed that I had found out about the plan and he was worried about that.  Makes me think that the final plan was designed to set ME up as the bad guy in all of this.  Reading the rest of the transcript leads all of us here at the office to understand that there is a human being behind all this…
We shall see…
We shall, indeed, see…
stay_tuned
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North Korea’s Secret Weapon
14NorthKoreasSecretWeapon

20

21Ain’t THAT the truth!

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Well, it’s happened.  We’ve got answers, of a sort.  But, it’s so completely and totally unbelievable, I almost can’t bring myself, in good conscious, to publish the information that the FFF found out.  Nor the punishment that they meted out.  Nor …. I can’t go on.
After in-depth consultation with my partner Lethal, and the legal department and Lethal’s own legal team of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, we have come to the conclusion that:
a) We have an implied, if not in fact defacto, responsibility to publish the truth.
b) The threats were made TO us, not BY us
3) Legally, we are on solid ground and cannot, in at least 35 of the 50 states, be held legally responsible for any of you who get sick, change your political affiliation or become pregnant from what we are going to tell you.
So the decision was made to give you the whole story.
Okay, so if you have been following along, you know that a dog was implanted into the situation between me and Lethal’s cats; the dog tried to blame the cats for tearing up some priceless furniture;  the dog was picked up and interrogated by the FFF; now the FFF has sent us the truth in the matter.
Seems that one of our oldest and most ruthless enemies has tried, once again to destroy the patriotic and important work that we do here.  This person is evil, nasty, dishonest, cares about nobody but himself, is an alien to our dear United States of America and has gotten where he is by lies, payoffs and cover-ups.
The dog has come clean and admitted, that he was paid for this job by this ruthless bastard himself, with specific instructions to do everything he possibly could to cause, not only trouble between Lethal and myself, but to cause trouble between us and you, dear loyal campers.  With the ultimate goal being to shut down our blog and website.
He wants us silenced!
We must be getting too close!
Thankfully, Lethal’s cats, with the assistance of the FFF have managed to capture this guy and … well, pictures are worth a thousand words…  so here is the snap shot they took of his punishment
1d2aAs you can see, the cats have taken care of business.  I don’t believe the man is dead, I think we would have heard something … unless, maybe they’ve already got a double in place, or, like the antichrist, he can’t be killed.
(Did I just now equate Obama with the antichrist? Oh my!  But did I?  Did I legally?)
<<<Evil Laughter Echoes Into The Distance>>>

Last-Word4_thumb1_thumb_thumb_thumb_[1]
This essay was so good, so complete, so pointed and poignant, that I just had to use it as today’s Last Word.  As a writer myself, there are two compliments that I can put to a piece that are pretty much the epitome of one writer complimenting another.
The first one is used when a piece is really good.  And that is to say: “I couldn’t have said it better, myself.”
And this second compliment is used when a piece is GREAT.  “Damn, I wish I had said that!”
And that, dear campers, is where this one falls.

P. Maureen Scott is an ardent American patriot who was born in Pittsburgh, PA, and retired to Richmond, VA, in 2000.. Free from the nine-to-five grind of writing for employers and clients, she began writing political commentary to please herself and express her convictions.

The accomplishment of which she is most proud is her volunteer work at an Army base where she looked into the eyes and hearts of the service members who protect our country.

Our Pledge of Allegiance, a military band playing the National Anthem, and the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, inspire her passion and views. Her life is guided by a firm belief that truth is the most important virtue, and that God knows what He is doing with her. 

 

Subject:Who is this Obama ? 

2b
Maureen Scott

March 1, 2013

The Architect of Destruction

By Maureen Scott 

“Obama comes from a community organizer background where it’s us against them. But that’s not who we are. And that’s not the position the leader of our Nation should take.”   Dr. Benjamin Carson

Obama appears to be a tormented man who is filled with resentment, anger, and disdain for anyone of an opinion or view other than his. He acts in the most hateful, spiteful, malevolent, vindictive ways in order to manipulate and maintain power and control over others. Perhaps, because, as a child, he grew up harboring an abiding bitterness toward the U.S. That was instilled in him by his family and mentors. It seems to have never left him.

It is not the color of his skin that is a problem for anyone in America.  Rather it is the blackness that fills his soul and the hollowness in his heart where there should be abiding pride and love for this country.

Think: Have we ever heard Obama speak lovingly of the U.S. Or its people, with deep appreciation and genuine respect for our history, our customs, our sufferings and our blessings? Has he ever revealed that, like most patriotic Americans, he gets “goose bumps” when a band plays “The Star Spangled Banner,” or sheds a tear when he hears a beautiful rendition of “America the Beautiful?” Does his heart burst with pride when millions of American flags wave on a National holiday   or someone plays “taps” on a trumpet? Has he ever shared the admiration of the military, as we as lovers of those who keep us free, feel when soldiers march by? It is doubtful because Obama did not grow up sharing our experiences or our values. He did not sit at the knee of a Grandfather or Uncle who showed us his medals and told us about the bravery of his fellow troops as they tramped through foreign lands to keep us free. He didn’t have grandparents who told stories of suffering and then coming to America, penniless, and the opportunities they had for building a business and life for their children.

Away from this country as a young child, Obama didn’t delight in being part of America and its greatness. He wasn’t singing our patriotic songs in kindergarten, or standing on the roadside for a holiday parade and eating a hot dog, or lighting sparklers around a campfire on July 4th as fireworks exploded over head, or placing flags on the gravesites of fallen and beloved American heroes.

Rather he was separated from all of these experiences and doesn’t really understand us and what it means to be an American. He is void of the basic emotions that most feel regarding this country and insensitive to the instinctive pride we have in our national heritage. His opinions were formed by those who either envied us or wanted him to devalue the United States and the traditions and patriotism that unites us.

He has never given a speech that is filled with calm, reassuring, complimentary, heartfelt statements about all the people in the U.S. Or one that inspires us to be better and grateful and proud that in a short time our country became a leader, and a protector of many. Quite the contrary, his speeches always degenerate into mocking, ridiculing tirades as he faults our achievements as well as any critics or opposition for the sake of a laugh, or to bolster his ego. He uses his Office to threaten and create fear while demeaning and degrading any American who oppose his policies and actions. A secure leader, who has noble self-esteem and not false confidence, refrains from showing such dread of critics and displaying a cocky, haughty attitude.

Mostly, his time seems to be spent causing dissention, unrest, and anxiety among the people of America, rather than uniting us (even though he was presented to us as the “Great Uniter”). He is anything but.  He creates chaos for the sake of keeping people separated, envious, aggrieved and ready to argue. Under his leadership Americans have been kept on edge, rather than in a state of comfort and security. He incites people to be aggressive toward, and disrespectful of, those of differing opinions. And through such behavior, Obama has lowered the standards for self-control and mature restraint to the level of street-fighting gangs, when he should be raising the bar for people to strive toward becoming more considerate, tolerant, self-disciplined, self-sustaining, and self-assured.

Not a day goes by that he is not attempting to defy our laws, remove our rights, over-ride established procedures, install controversial appointees, enact divisive mandates, and assert a dictatorial form of power.

        *       Never has there been a leader of this great land who used such tactics to harm and hurt the people and this country.
*       Never have we had a President who spoke with a caustic, evil tongue against the citizenry rather than present himself as a soothing, calming and trustworthy force.
*       Never, in this country, have we experienced how much stress one man can cause a nation of people   on a daily basis!

Obama has promoted the degeneration of peace, civility, and quality of cooperation between us. He thrives on tearing us down, rather than building us up. He is the Architect of the decline of America, and the epitome of a Demagogue.

Maureen Scott

Until Next Week My Friends,
cheers 5cheers2
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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1319

  1. Torsten says:

    I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!

  2. lethalleprechaun says:

    THIS IS AN OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE FROM C4CSCV2- CATS FOR COMMON SENSE CENTRIST VIEWS & VALUES

    MEOW! Good Job on outing the Evil Ones Doggedly Diabolical Plot. PURR to you!

    COMMUNIQUE ENDS.

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