Good Morning Campers…I hope that it is a good morning for all of you, especially those of you who I know have survived Sandy, in one form or another. My own dear family was raised right there in Seaside, NJ where the bullseye came ashore. My sister is still there. Thank fully, I’ve heard from her and she and her family are doing better than most. They are not good, they’ve had a lot of damage, but most importantly, they’ll be okay.
And that is my hope and wish for all and any of you who have fought through this, that you will be okay. Our thoughts and prayers from all of us here at DL & LL Enterprises are with you all.
Something else you need to keep in mind, people are basically bastards at heart, not all of them, but enough of them are out there that prey on the good hearted ones, like you, my wonderful campers. So I want you to know that the bastards are already setting up bogus accounts for helping the victims of Frankenstorm and bilking the campers of the world out of their hard earned money. Several folks, including the famous Kim Komando (Click here to learn how to spot and avoid these scams.) are telling us about scams involving Facebook and other means. Just be aware of who you are giving your hard-earned dollars to.
You know what else is coming up on Tuesday…. That’s right. It’s our four-year opportunity to “throw the bums out” and vote in the good guys. I’m not going to go round and round (at least not right here) about who the good and the bad are. You guys should all know our opinion about things by now, but what I am going to tell you to do, what I and my buddy the Lethal Leprechaun agree is your civic duty, and what I will tell each and everyone of you that if you DON’T go out and do then you have NO RIGHT AT ALL to do any bitching over the next four years. What is it that I want, nay, encourage, if possible COMMAND you to do?
Now, let’s move on, shall we?
This has absolutely got to be one of the best videos I’ve ever seen on YouTube. The Lady narrator says that she has five reasons to vote for Romney for president, but what she actually has are five reasons (more like topics) for NOT voting for Obama. I don’t mind the content. And I understand the point she is trying to make, that a vote for Romney is a vote against Obama, but I think that Romney should be elected on his own merits, not just because he’s not Obama. Isn’t that how we pretty much got Obama in the first place? Because he wasn’t Bush? Now, having said all that, this is a great video for NOT electing Obama….and we’ll just leave it right there. Please watch. You have to go to our website to see it at www.dragonlaffs.com but we want you to do that anyway. Thanks to my dad for pointing this my way.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to
run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth,
floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab
of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick
while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl
running the register..
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married
the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check
yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover
the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went
to school with.
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole
in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it
on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than
flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check
yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes
you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and
you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba’s
Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms .’
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.. Hose the dog doo-doo off your
shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear
on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may
be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you are not sure.
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.
You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
What’s a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
If Obama wants Catholic institutions to provide condoms and abortions, does this mean he will force Muslims to serve bacon and alcohol? Just wondering…..
and from my sister-in-law, who also had the first part, she adds…
or force Hindus to slaughter cows to feed the poor? Freedom of Religion; not freedom from Religion; Freedom of Religion means ALL Religion! Obama is an anti-Christian BIGOT! ~politifake.org
So….other voices heard from. Nice. Thanks friends.
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.
Biden vs. Biden…somebody put a lot of time into this. Well worth watching. Funny as well as poignant. Enjoy!
Recently, I was called by a news reporter from one of those “check-out-lane” pulp newspapers that offer mostly unbelievable crap than real news. You know the Elvis was taken by aliens type of thing I’m talking about. Anyway, this reporter was doing a survey of famous mythical personalities and his one important question was kind of strange. He asked, “Impish, at your ripe old age, which would you prefer to get, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?”
Well, after telling him that I thought it was a pretty asinine questions besides being easy enough to figure out on his own.
Well, of course he got mad and demanded to know what I was talking about and I told him, well which do you think is better? Is it better to spill a half an ounce of Bourbon or to forget where I keep the bottle?
I thought it was a good answer.
Hey! It’s time for payback!!!! Remember a couple of months ago when we gave up an hour, lost an hour of sleep, and had to change all the damn clocks and appliances in the house? Remember when we had no damn idea why we had to do that? Well, it’s time to get our just-due! We get that hour back! We get that extra hour of sleep! How nice is that gonna be! So remember, either Saturday night before you go to bed or Sunday morning when you get up, set your clock back one hour…Payback!
Oh….we still don’t know why and we’ll have to spend most of that hour we saved changing the damn clocks and appliances…but…
well, there really isn’t much more of an up-side.
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father
“Dad,what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for
The father thought some and said, “Okay, son . The best way I can
describe politics is to use an analogy. “Lets say that I’m capitalism
because I’m the bread winner. Your mother will be government because she
controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she
works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your
baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?”
Little Johnny said, “Well, Dad, I don’t know, but I’ll think about what
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, Johnny was awaken by
his brother’s crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty
diaper. So,he went down the hall to his parent’s bedroom and found his
father’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up.
Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he
reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed
with the maid. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went
back to bed.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, “Dad, I
think I understand politics much better now.”
“Excellent, my boy,” he answered. “What have you learned?” Little
Johnny thought for a minute and said, ”
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.” The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.The
businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, “And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention …. “
OP-ED | Election 2012: The Hybrid’s Choice
The tagline on my blog, CT Devil’s Advocate, proudly proclaims the content to be “Red Meat For Mushy Moderates.” It sounds good, but I’m not sure it accurately describes all my opinions on the issues of the day.
So, you think that house decorations are only for Christmas? That awesome light shows only go with carols? Well….you’re WRONG!
Check this one out!
He’s a real humanitarian. He just opened a halfway house for girls who won’t go all the way.
Have you heard about the gigolo in the leper colony? Everything was fine until his business started falling off.
SECRETARY – A stenographer who watches her periods.
A philosophical friend of ours points out that at cocktail parties the men usually stand around getting stiff, and the women are usually tight, but when they get home they frequently find that neither is either.
Eternity: The length of time between when you come and she leaves.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn’t matter if its Visa or MasterCard.
What sex toy might be a suitable surrogate partner for a suicide bomber? A Blow-Up Doll
What does a gal call a blow job in a Honda? Her Civic duty.
I’m not saying she’s easy but she’s been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
What does a coffin and a condom have in common? They’re both filled with stiffs, only one’s coming and one’s going!
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Susie led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”
“Very good”, said the teacher.
Little Janie was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”
“Very good, Janie”, said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Dave’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Dave walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467”, he said proudly. “$2,467!!!” shouted the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?!”
“Toothbrushes”, said Little Dave. “Toothbrushes?”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town”, said Little Dave, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, ‘Hey kid, this tastes like dog poop!’ Then I would reply, ‘That’s because it IS dog poop! Wanna buy a toothbrush?’ I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth!”
Little Dave got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart.
And finally, here’s one we hope to see come Wednesday morning…
I was going to put this video at the very beginning of the issue to give it the most punch because I think it’s that important, then I thought, no… let’s put it at the very end, let this be the last thing that all you wonderful campers see from me before you go and vote on Tuesday…you ARE going to vote, right? Now, look, we’ve been over this a couple of times now already, so I don’t really need to tell you how important it is for you to go out there and
The funny thing was that after I decided to include this fantastic video, it was forwarded to me by several members of our group, plus our dear Lethal Leprechaun and K². So, without any further ado, please watch this video and include its message in your thoughts as you go to the polling place on Tuesday.