Dragon Laffs #1289


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adult1_thumb1_thumbGood Morning Campers!  Wow!  The things that have gone on this week.  Last night (Thursday) we get word that the Court of appeals has upheld Arizona’s controversial law that says they are allowed to check whether someone is in the country on some sort of legal status while stopping them for some other legitimate reason.  I think we’re going to start a pool as to whether the United States (in the persona of Mr. Obama) has the stones to take it to the next court….if there even IS a next court.  What do you guys think?

Yes, as the header proclaims, I’m on the road again this next week….Actually, as you are reading this on Saturday morning, I left yesterday.  I’m in Wisconsin for a week for another base’s training exercise where I get to help judge/teach part of the requirements for exercise completion.  Should be lots of fun.  I’ll try and send updates, either through here or through Lethal as to how it’s going.

So now, let’s say we get to it and laff!!!!

New Medicare part X.  This is a grand idea!  First of all, it will work, secondly, I won’t increase expenses near as much as a new program will, because this program is using facilities and procedures that are all ready in place.  So, here is the new plan description…

You’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They’re all covered.

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? It’s the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

And you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you are at it.

Plus, and because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what? 

Okay campers, now it’s your turn to tear this idea apart and to submit a new program of your own makeup.

The Look!
73The exact same look you get from your friends when you inform them that you plan to vote for Obama in November!

laugh and point

This should (and does for me) scare the shit out of us!  This is important, please watch the video!  You’ll have to go to the website to do that, but trust me when I tell you that its worth it!

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DragonPapa1 (162)

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I know the food thing is usually in the Leprechauns wheelhouse, but I have to share this with you.  It’s something Toni shared with us.   Toni also says:
Despite the fact that I am a card carrying chocoholic even I think I’d have to draw the line at a chocolate eclair hotdog.  Thanks Toni….I’m relatively sure that we agree whole heartedly with you!
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Observations_thumb[1]

New Jersey’s delegates put Mitt Romney and Paul
Ryan over the top on Tuesday. All conventions are
jokes but this one lays it right out. An auditorium
full of Protestants nominates a Mormon and a Roman
Catholic and a hurricane named after a Jew happens by.

President Obama has started work on his convention
speech, but the first draft is too honest: “I killed
bin Laden and I will kill Medicare.”

 


 

Insurance records show that the worst drivers in the
nation are in Washington, D.C. The problem is that now
that people can text donations to candidates, there is no
way any  politician even behind the wheel will be
taking their eyes off their cellphones.

 


 

A study says that death row inmates tend to pick comfort
foods for their last meal, high in calories and heavy on
meat. Apparently most stay away from foods cooked in oil
since the inmate is the one who is eventually going to be fried.

 

The world’s shortest man and woman met in person
for the first time. It was reportedly a pleasant meeting,
made up mostly of just small talk.


Buckingham Palace tried to ban publication of those
nude photos of Prince Harry in Las Vegas. No one in
my generation is judging him. When tabloid stories like
this pop up, Baby Boomers thank God that cell phone
cameras weren’t around when we were young.

 


 

Senate Democrats want money set aside to repair
the Capitol Dome, which has fallen into disrepair
and has more than 1,300 cracks in it. Which means
it is in worse shape than the Senate which is also
in disrepair with 100 cracks in it.

A study suggests that teens who smoke pot risk a long-term
drop in their IQ. Wow, think how much more brilliant Obama
could have been.

The archbishop-elect of San Francisco was arrested in the

wee hours of Saturday morning for alleged DUI in San Diego.
The Vatican is just relieved there wasn’t an altar boy in the car.

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This is great!  I’ve seen the finished product before, but never how they’ve made it.  Well worth the watch….what?  You can’t see this video by clicking on it?  Well, no, you can’t.  You have to go to the website.  http://dragonlaffs.com

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For those of you who may have missed our big contribution push, there will always be time throughout the year to show us how we are appreciated
Donate242

Proof reading is important, especially for the casual writing opportunities.

This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn sing in the park across
the street from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared
to sin.

221 Probably means something else in FrenchSo, it probably means something else in French…

Okay, truly….I’ve heard it all…
74Thanks to Jonathon for sending this in!

 

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Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about an age old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “it might be nice to have another child.”
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

I rest my case.

Case closed.

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And in the “Okay, now I’ve heard it all” Category, ….
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Megan Mariah Barnes is Florida’s 1st bikini-shaving-related traffic offender of the year.

 

Websites to visit_thumb[2]
Thanks to Jeannie/Gracie for this one…


Twin Babies Love It When Daddy Plays Guitar

These 11 month old twins just can’t get enough of their daddy playing guitar. Watching their faces just light up would make anyone’s day!

http://www.godvine.com/Twin-Babies-Love-It-When-Daddy-Plays-Guitar-2003.html#.UEH6UQ9jGus.email

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Thanks to our dear, dear friend Diaman for continuing to fill her weekly section up with puns.  I’m not sure where she gets them…and I’m fairly certain I don’t want to know where she gets them from.  Thank you sweet lady.  Thanks for helping us all to laugh just a tiny bit more.

Our Italian Chef died. He pasta way.

University of Texas students put cowbells on their longhorn mascot because his horns don’t work.

He who dies with the most houses, cars and deposits in off-shore accounts wins.

I came upon a man slicing goose feathers and stuffing them into a pillow. “Would you like a cigarette?” I asked. He answered, “No thanks, I’m trying to cut down.”

Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London.
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.

The jogger who overslept found himself running late.

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

Elevators have their ups and downs, but escalators are a step in the right direction.

Apparently the maid I hired to clean my house, while I was watching the London Olympics, was only second best. She just walked off with the silver.

The reason weddings are so happy is because so many of the practices that take place at them are custom merry.

The gravity was so powerful, I couldn’t stand it.

Any ball that was rolling or bouncing in a haphazard manner should be passed to a teammate rather than used to score. To remind them, he printed across the top of the chalkboard, in the locker room, ‘Ball that fritters is not goaled’.

Another day, another naked man gets arrested covered in cooking spray. All I hope for is that his girlfriend’s name is Pam. 

I used to work as a trapeze artist…until I was let go.

An insulting telegram is a barbed wire.

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It’s a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt. A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt. “No lassie” he replies, “everything is in fine working order.”

A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables. The bartender says “Hey, don’t think you’re going to come in here and start something!”

He became an electrician because as a child his mother always took him to the outlet stores.

He’s doing much butter since he found a whey of milking his firm of expenses when none have been in curd.

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Poetry1

There once was a lawyer named Bender,
Who worked as a Public Defender.
Since his limo bumped into
A little Ford Pinto
He’s now referred to as Defender Bender.

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Motivational World of Warcraft
Motovational Photoshop
My death
Nat

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Animal Chatter 2

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To all my wine drinking friends…and I know there’s a lot of us out there…

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Have you ever wondered who is playing the role of a character?
Often, even the most unrealistic characters are well-known actors…
Heath Ledger – The Joker in The Dark Knight

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Dustin Hoffman – Tootsie / Michael Dorsey

c14aThe movie "Tootsie", directed by Sydney Pollack.  Seen here, Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy Michaels.  Initial theatrical release December 17, 1982.  Screen capture. © 1982 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.  Credit: © 1982 Columbia Pictures / Flickr / Courtesy Pikturz.<br />
Image intended only for use to help promote the film, in an editorial, non-commercial context.

Robin Williams – Mrs. Doubtfire

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Kevin Peter Hall – Predator

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1a_thumb_thumbThis is utterly fantastic.  It probably should have gone under websites to see, but this is so incredibly special that putting it as it’s own Last Word is the only right thing to do.  As others have said of this, there’s no reason to ever go on a vacation again….okay, so nah!  Vacations are for more than just seeing stuff, but really, this is truly fantastic!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS….YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE AGAIN…….. Mesmerizing!!! This is just fantastic.
Pick out any interesting location around the world and click on it. A page will come up with a photo. In the centre is a circle with a triangle.
Click on the triangle. Now you get a full picture. If it’s not a full screen, click on the 4 dots in the lower right corner.
Now with full screen, place your curser anywhere on the screen and slowly drag the picture in any direction you want. Left, right, up, down, slow or stop.
Try the Egyptian Pyramids in Egypt or Moscow, Kremlin to get started.
This is a one e-mail you will want to save. Enjoy.
Panoramas and 3D Tours of the Most Beautiful Places Around the World! Click on the below City Names & Enjoy
Give Chicago a click…
Victoria Falls, ZambiaVenezuela, Surroundings of Angel Falls, VenezuelaAngel falls, VenezuelaKalyan Minaret, Bukhara, UzbekistanMiami, USALas Vegas, USALake Powell, USAManhattan, New York, USAGolden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, USAMillennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USAOahu, Hawaii, USALas Vegas, Nevada, USAMillennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USAGolden Gate Bridge, USAStatue of Liberty, New York, USAManhattan, New York, USAHollywood, California, USASan Juan and Colorado rivers, USAGoosenecks, Utah, USAMono Lake, California, USAMillennium UN Plaza Hotel, New York, USAChicago, Illinois, USALos Angeles, California, USAKiev, UkraineAy-Petri, UkraineDubai, UAEDubai, Islands, UAEPalm Jumeirah, Dubai, UAEBangkok, ThailandSankt-Moritz, SwitzerlandCape Good Hope, South AfricaCape-Town, South AfricaMoscow, MSU, RussiaMoscow, Kremlin, Bolotnaya Square , RussiaMoscow, RussiaMoscow Kremlin, Russia55.748765;37.540841, RussiaMoscow City, RussiaKremlin, Moscow, RussiaMoscow City, RussiaTrinity Lavra of Sait Sergius, RussiaSaint-Petersburg, RussiaNew Jerusalem Monastery, RussiaSaint Petersburg, RussiaNovodevichy Convent. Moscow, RussiaRamenki,Moscow, RussiaMKAD, Moscow, RussiaMoscow, RussiaMoscow, RussiaKrokus Expo Center, Moscow, RussiaMoscow Region, RussiaMoeraki Boulders, New ZealandFiordland, New ZealandNepal, NepalMaldives, MaldivesKuala-Lumpur, MalaysiaGrimsvotn, IcelandAmsterdam, HollandNeuschwanstein Castle, GermanyEgyptian Pyramids, EgyptHong Kong, ChinaThe Iguassu Falls, BrazilTwelve Apostles Marine National Park, AustraliaSydney, AustraliaBuenos Aires, Argentina
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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1289

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    I’d pass on the eclair hotdog too…no bacon on it!

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