Good Morning Campers! Let’s start today with a little
guessing game. In this morning’s header, above, are pictures of 4 baby dragons. One of them is me and the other three are my brothers and/or sisters. Using the beautiful picture of me now, to the right, which one do you think is me as a baby? I’ll give you the answer later in the issue.
OH MY GOD!!!! MY BABIES!!!!
south to Virginia to see God’S country. When he got to Franklin,
he liked the place so much that he decided to stay.
filled out an application as an experienced log inspector. It
was his lucky day!! They just happened to be looking for someone
The foreman stopped the truck on the side of the road and pointed
at a tree and said “See that tree over there? I want you to tell me
what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains.”
Bubba promptly answered, “That thar’s a white pine, and thar’s
driving again. He stopped about a mile down the road and pointed at
another tree through the passenger window. The foreman asked the same two
questions as before. This time it was a bigger tree of a different class.
quick and he got the answers right without using a calculator!
But the foreman wanted to do one more test.
They drove a little further down the road, and the foreman stopped
the truck again. This time, he pointed across the road and said, “And what about that one?”
Before the foreman could finish pointing, Bubba said,
little ticked off because he thinks the redneck is smarter than himself.
As they neared the office, the foreman stopped the truck and asked Bubba
to step out of the truck. The foreman handed the him a piece of chalk and
told the him, “See that tree over there? I want you to mark an “X” on the
while looking at the ground. He reaches up and places a white “X” on
the trunk. The redneck then walked back to the foreman and
Excellent 1 minute ad. Go to the blog to watch this video. It’s outstanding!
The Polish Club Championship
Stan and Stosh are standing on the 18th tee at their Polish Country Club. They are the final twosome in the Polish Country Club Championship and are tied for the lead. The 18th hole is a beautiful par four with a deep valley descending down to a dogleg right.
Both Stan and Stosh hit long, straight tee shots which disappear down into the valley. A short time later, the fore caddie appears at the top of the hill and announces that both balls are within a foot of each other, but there’s a problem. Both of the golf balls are Titleist #4s.
Stan and Stosh look at each other and realize that they had not informed each other as to what kind of ball they were playing, nor its number. They quickly descend into the valley and, sure enough, their two Titlist golf balls are right next to each at the bottom of the valley in the middle of the fairway.
Stosh looks at Stan and says, ” We had better get a ruling from a tournament official to straighten this out”.”This is the Polish Country Club Championship and we don’t want to be disqualified for making a mistake and hitting the wrong ball”. “After all, we are tied for the lead”.
Soon after, a rules official appears and examines the two #4 Titlist golf balls. He then looks up at Stan and Stosh and says, “Which one of you would be playing the orange ball”.
Impish Dragon slowly walked into an Ice Cream Parlor close to the offices of DL&LL Electronic Media, LLC. He shuffled up to a stool and painfully eased himself up. After catching his breath, Impish asked the waitress for an ice cream sundae.
The waitress gently asked, “Crushed nuts?”
“No,” Impish replied, “arthritis.”
We all know it’s not true…but it’s funny anyway…
Q: Why are Democrats better than Republicans in bed?
A: You’ve never heard of getting a good piece of elephant, have you?
Okay, so some of them were in really poor taste….but still funny!
HEALTH MESSAGE
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,
I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a crap. It’s the tortoise life
for me!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be
immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me!
A golden oldie and probably the worst blonde joke of all time. What else could you possibly ask for?
Sarah comes skipping home from school one day. “Mummy,” she says, “we were counting today and all the other children could only count to four, but I counted to 10. Like this – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.”
“Very good, dear,” says her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?” Sarah asks.
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” replies her mother.
The next day, Sarah comes skipping home from school. “Mummy,” she says, “we were saying the alphabet today and all the other children could only say it to D, but I said it to G. Like this – A, B, C, D, E, F, G.”
“Very good, dear,” says her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” replies her mother.
The next day Sarah comes skipping home from school. “Mummy,” she says, “we were in gym class today and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I don’t. Like this.” And Sarah lifts her tank top to reveal a firm pair of breasts.
“Very good, dear,” says her embarrassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
“No dear, it’s because you’re 24.”
My Favorite all time Ronald Regan Clip
I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can’t tell, except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.
The Holy Email
The other day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the wicked behavior going on…He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it.
When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on earth; 85% are misbehaving and only15% are being good.”
God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 15% that were good, because he wanted to encouragethem and give them a little something to help keep them going.Do you know what the e-mail said?
NO?
Okay, I was just wondering because I didn’t get one either.
Today’s Last Word is going to cover a couple of different topics. So, without further ado, let’s get into it…Part 1
Since we asked the question in the opening, it’s only right that I give you the answer to the question in the Last Word…
and the answer is…
The baby picture that is me is…
Are you ready for this????
The one furthest to the right….
Is NOT me!
(ha,ha, gotcha with that one, didn’t I?)
The first one to the left…
Isn’t me either!
Ha! Ha!
I can see that the anticipation is killing you!
Okay, so it’s either the second from the left or the second from the right…
Right or left?
Left or right?
Far be it from me to EVER be on the left of ANY issue, so yes, IT’S THE SECOND FROM THE RIGHT!!!!
How many of you got it right?
Raise your hands… no…keep them up… one, two, three, um…four … uh … everyone? Everyone got it right? Really? It was that easy? Did Lethal give it away? No?
Dang! I really thought all of us looked so much alike that no one would be able to tell us apart! Geez!
Part 2…
Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to pay the piper…also known as the wordpress people for the pleasure of hosting our blog. So, again (I hate this part) it’s time to ask for your donations to help us keep this newsletter ad free. You all have been so very generous in the past with your donations, and I truly dislike asking for more, but we aren’t generating income on our little experiment here like we thought we would by this time, so…
At the top right hand corner of the blog is a place that looks like this:
If you click on the words (in purple here, but probably blue on your computer) it will take you to a paypal site where you can use your own paypal account, a credit card, bank account, or a debit card. And if that doesn’t work for you, you can write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and I can give you an address to send a check. I would REALLY prefer that you go to the website at dragonlaffs.com to donate, but if you must…if it’s between not donating if you have to go to the website, then you should be able to click here: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4X2MEADWHBYE8 and it will take you to the same place. But, we get hit credits for everyone who visits the website…which is also why we try to get everyone to read the newsletter on the blog site instead of in the email.
Okay, enough pleas for money for right now. But I’m sure this isn’t the last you will see of this topic.
Part 3… I really thought I’d have some pictures of last weeks war games by now, but I only have a couple that I personally took on my cell phone. So, of course, none of me…yet. Stay tuned for this area for further developments. In the mean time, here’s a couple to get you by.
When people asl me if you’re around and where you might be found I respond…”Look for the nearest possible food source of any type. He’ll be around its someplace”
Well, this is true. I do enjoy the a nice buffet. I like the ones that are a bit old fashioned, with wooden sides and displays. The new ones annoy me, the stainless steel pans tend to get stuck in my teeth.
Do I even want to ask about the plexiglass sneeze shield and how you deal with that if the pans bother you?
I guessed ‘the fat one’. Looks like I was right!
Hey!
I was asked at work the other day if I was going to be around this afternoon. My reply: I’m round every afternoon!