Dragon Laffs 1282


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Adult Content_thumb[1]Good Morning Campers.  I write this, sitting in my easy chair, Friday night.  Looking forward to next week I see a lot of things going on for me.
For instance, right now, while you’re reading this, I’m probably at work, trying to get things ready for another UTA weekend.  This is only an alternate UTA (UTA stands for Unit Training Assembly, or a weekend when the reservists have duty) so I’ll only have to work on Saturday, and end up Sunday off.
Then on Monday I’m out of town again for four days…Monday thru Thursday, in Indianapolis.  Now, those of you who know where Grissom is also probably know that Indianapolis is only an hour and a half away, so why go away?  Because once you add 3 hours travel time per day to a ten hour class room schedule, it becomes too much.  Indiana Homeland Security (the group putting on the class I will be taking) have decided that anything over 50 miles away and you can stay in a hotel for the three nights you will be there.  So, I’ll be in a hotel for three nights.  The nice thing is that maybe I’ll get to see some of my kids or grandkids while I’m there.
What class am I going to be in?
I’m taking FEMA’s L449 Class.  Or what’s also known as the ICS 300/400 Train-the-Trainer class.  Okay, now for the acronyms…FEMA is Federal Emergency Management Agency and ICS is Incident Command System.  Basically we are going to be taught how to teach controlling and working through emergencies.
Yeah, it’s not even near as interesting as it sounds and it sounds pretty bad.
But that’s my week coming.  I’ll try and stay in touch and maybe even post a couple of little updates here and there.  But, in the mean time, while I’m busy working, you guys need to be busy laughing…so….

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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, “I’m only here to listen to the music.” “Yeah?” replied the man. “We’re only here to see our dog.”

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Let’s get some observations from our resident observer…Jeannie…

The U.S. Olympic Village in London where U.S. athletes
stay opened on Monday. It’s got an all-night McDonald’s,
two beer gardens, free snacks, free sodas and free condoms.
This gives us four weeks to see if ObamaCare works as well
in practice as it does in theory.


Attorney General Eric Holder promised he’ll challenge Arizona’s
law allowing police to check your citizenship when they pull
you over. It’s foolproof. The cop asks you a math or a science
question and if you get it wrong you were born in the
United States.

A woman jogger in Washington State was attacked by a family
of raccoons. She survived but can’t identify her attackers
because she says they were all wearing masks.


The little girl is fine, but recently British Prime Minister
David Cameron and his wife actually left their 8 year old
daughter behind at a country pub near their home. (He
thought she was with her mom, his wife thought the
child was with her dad.) I blame Obama.


A new report found that Mitt Romney’s economic plan
would not have any effect on unemployment. When he
heard that Romney’s plan wouldn’t make any difference,
Obama was like, “Hey, that’s MY thing!”

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DragonPapa1 (155)
So long Arizona!

Illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands, showing their outrage with Arizona ‘s controversial new SB-1070 law by moving elsewhere.

In the small town of Guadalupe , AZ, south of Phoenix , Manuel Renaldo is one of those who is punishing Arizona by leaving. As he loaded his stolen car with his stolen belongings and family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter “It’s a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a state that treats me like a criminal!”

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The effects of the exodus are being felt by Arizona retailers, who are reporting dwindling sales of beer, spray paint, and ammunition. Also hit hard are the state hospitals, which have reported a dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits. Tattoo parlors are in a state of panic.

Renaldo told a reporter through an interpreter that he and his family are moving to Illinois, a democratic state with high taxes where hard working people will support him and his family with dignity!

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it ?

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For some of us…and we know who we are, we have had a love affair with airplanes since we were little boys (okay, and for some of you, little girls, but I’ll bet there’s more boys).  It’s actually the whole reason I joined the Air Force way back when I was 18.  Well, here’s a beautiful old lady…with a wonderful story.  Thanks to Dad for sharing!

The Oldest Boeing Airliner in Flying Condition

The four passengers are in two closed cabins and the lone pilot is in an open cockpit — maybe so the cold air will make him stay awake!

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The airplane is in Spokane, WA and is the oldest airworthy Boeing in the World.
After eight years of repair and rebuilding and 8,000 hours of toil the Boeing 40C rolled out last winter as a finished airplane.
They had to wait a few weeks for the snow to melt to fly this baby. They received their Standard Airworthiness Certificate from the FAA and completed the engine pre-oil and fuel flow tests for the first of the taxi tests.

Facts for the Boeing 40 project:
The airplane weighs 4,080 lbs empty and has a gross weight of 6,075 lbs.
It is 34 feet long and 13 feet tall with a wingspan of over 44 feet.
Wing loading is 10 lbs per sq ft and power loading is 10 lbs per HP.
The wings have 33,000 individual parts in them.
It should cruise at 115 mph using 28 GPH and 32 GPH at 120 mph.
It carries 120 gallons of fuel in three tanks.
Over 221 gallons of dope/reducer and 120 yards of 102 ceconite fabric; twelve gallons of polyurethane paint for the sheet metal; and three-hundred-and-fifty 2″ brushes were used to apply six gallons of West Systems epoxy.
One-hundred-eighty-one rolls of paper towels were needed for cleanup.
There were a total of 62 volunteers who worked on the project to some degree. Twenty-one of the volunteers did a significant amount of the work and nine of the volunteers worked continuously during the eight-year project.

Now you’ve got to admit, that’s a pretty lady…

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Anybody remember when Jerry Lewis did this?  Am I showing how old I am?  Okay, so it’s good and worth watching….and remember, you can only see it on the website…so go to http://dragonlaffs.com

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And since we’re doing videos, here’s one for the adults from Denis Leary called, “Kiss My Ass” which the Leprechaun sent to me…kinda think he’s trying to tell me something.

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From PBS, a study of Lego Art.  Well worth the watch.  Thanks to Lynn for sending this one in.  Easy enough to watch right here!  But of course, you need to go to the website…our website (http://dragonlaffs.com) to view it. 

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And a story that’s not so funny.  This is being sent around by lots of different law enforcement agencies.  Please take heed!

Kids are putting Drano, tin foil, and a little water in plastic drink bottles and capping it up – leaving it on lawns, in mail boxes, in gardens, on driveways etc. just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the rubbish, but you’ll never make it!!!

If the bottle is picked up, and the bottle is shaken even just a little – in about 30 seconds or less it builds up enough gas which then explodes with enough force to remove some of your extremities. The liquid that comes out is boiling hot as well.
Don’t pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc.
Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water.
A small piece of foil. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!!
No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc.
Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this.

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Today’s Motivational Poster section is all of the same topic…pictures on a subject, as it were…I hope you enjoy
Cleavage

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This is a pretty cool story and I’m sorry that I couldn’t put the video right here, but follow the link after you read the write-up and I think you will be happily entertained.

RESCUED BY SUBMARINE, FILM FOUND 65 YEARS LATER

RESCUED BY SUBMARINE Hope you can bring up the video.    

To find the film after 65 years is amazing enough, but for the plane to crash right near the sub…. God would have to have

been looking out for those young men. Read the short note before viewing the clip. IT’S AN AMAZING STORY and worth

watching… About 2.5 minutes.

An entire crew of a B-29 — 12 aviators — was rescued by a US submarine after their plane was shot down in 1945, 70 miles

off the coast of Japan. The entire rescue was filmed in color video, but sat in a guy’s closet until now.

This is a story from a Denver TV station of one of those rescued aviators to whom the video was delivered. It also shows

their transfer to another submarine that is likely headed back to port before the one that accomplished the rescue.”

Can you imagine 65 years AFTER your own rescue,  You get to watch it on film?

CLICK HERE

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Another wicked cool video!!!!

Riding the Booster with enhanced sound

From the upcoming Special Edition Ascent: Commemorating Space Shuttle DVD/BluRay by NASA/Glenn a movie from the point of view of the Solid Rocket Booster with sound mixing and enhancement done by the folks at Skywalker Sound. The sound is all from the camera microphones and not fake or replaced with foley artist sound. The Skywalker sound folks just helped bring it out and make it more audible.

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Mitt Romney is said to have offshore bank accounts. Barack
Obama is said to have an offshore birth certificate.
So they’re even again.


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As they say in East Tennessee:

Y’all can’t get the water to clear up,
Until you get the turd out of the creek.”


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What would have happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? We would be eating pussy every Thanksgiving.
The chef cooked the Thanksgiving turkey wearing a condom because he believed in practicing safe stuffing.
Little Johnny’s 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “God, I’m coming!”
Virgin Wool: Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion, she answered, “Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.”
RHUMBA – An asset to music.
 
Ladies, men like it when your hair has lots of body, not the other way around.
 
Did you hear about the girls that are using hockey pucks instead of tampons because they generally last for three periods.
 
Little Johnny is standing on a corner yanking off. A cop comes along and says, “What are you doing, little boy?” Little Johnny replied, “F*ckin’ nothing,”
We know God is a man because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
Why do people say “Grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding.
How are airplanes and women alike? They both have cockpits.

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Mitt Romney was accused of stashing his two-hundred fifty
million dollar fortune in overseas banks before the recession
hit. It could hurt him. Just the fact that he runs a surplus and
has money in the bank proves that Mitt lacks the experience
to run the county.


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Today’s Tiny is brought to us from my Dad. Grand pa Dragon?  Nah.  Get my ass kicked for that one.  LOL 

lost your mind
Anyways…
It’s called “Only In America” Top 10.  But, I’ll bet if we tried, we could come up with a LOT more than just 10.  So, here we have, from Dad, …

Only in AMERICA — Top Ten

1) Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.

2)
Only in America could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when we have a black president,a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black. 12% of the population is black.

3) Only in America could we have had the two people most responsiblef or our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee, both turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

4) Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that

muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

5)
Only in America would we make people who want to legally becomeAmerican citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American citizens.

6) Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as extremists.

7)
Only in America could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

8)
Only in America could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company(Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes(Nike).

9) Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year for total spending of $7 million per minute, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

10)
Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t  pay any income taxes at all.

Okay, how about …
11) Only in America could the president tell an entire nation that their best and brightest, the hard-working, self-made, business men and women, entrepreneurs, of true pioneering spirit, didn’t do it themselves.
or how ‘bout…
12) Only in America can an elected official suggest you cremate your loved ones upon their passing, because it’s much less expensive…but NOT because times are hard and money is scarce, but so that you might donate the money you saved to HIS election campaign! (You have NO IDEA HOW MUCH this topic chaps my big fat dragon ass!!!!)  (I’m so pissed I can’t even write about it!!!) Okay, so maybe with K²’s help I can pull it off…..here’s Karl’s write up..

Just when one thinks that Barack Obama, the idiot in chief, cannot stoop any lower he does. Remember a few weeks ago when he suggested to donors to not purchase wedding, birthday or anniversary gifts and rather donate to his campaign, then set up as registry to do so on his website?

Now he is calling for donors to forgo an expensive funeral and cremate loved ones which is much
less costly and donate the difference to his reelection campaign. Yes, skip the casket, the grave site, the burial vault and cremate your loved one to show how much you want Obama reelected.
 
This is not a joke;  it is on his web site!

This disgusting infection on America has to go and this new low for the idiot in chief is just one
more of a list of tens of thousands of reasons to get Obama out of office!

I’ve got to second K²’s sentiment.  We have got to get this guy out of office.  Our country can’t take four more years of this bull shit!

Let’s hear what you guys have to say!  Hit the comment button, rate us in stars (at the top of the web site) spread the word!  Dragon and Leprechaun in 2012!!!!!!
Dragon and Leprechaun

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Impish Dragon 2_thumb[2]

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