Good Morning Campers!
Hope you all have had a great week so far and are looking forward to a great weekend.
Well, I’m here to help you get started on this welcome time off. Here’s an issue just jammed packed full of stuff…not really sure what kind of stuff, but stuff! Lots and lots of graphics in this one, so don’t be surprised if it took the page a little while to open.
Anyway, here’s another picture of my current project. It’s kinda of like guy macramé… here’s my latest super project on the bottom and then three examples of what we are trying to get set up to sell for October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a favorite charity of mine. Money raised by selling the pink or breast cancer themed ones will got to charity:
so, anyway, that’s kind of it, ready to get started laughing…lots of stuff to have fun with. Let’s go!
Dad sent this one to me and if you are a fan, which I am, it’s really good.
Remember…the only way to watch the video is by going to the website…http://dragonlaffs.com. It’s the only way to really get the full effect of the newsletter, anyway.
The Gold Urinal
Before Obama was elected President he went to see Bill and Hillary for some campaign advice, at their spacious home.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton ‘s private toilet, he was astonished to see that Clinton had a solid gold urinal! Wow!
That afternoon, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal. “Just think,’ he said, ‘when I am President, I will have an even bigger gold urinal !
Later, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed Obama had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom,
Bill had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled and said to Bill:
“I found out who peed in your saxophone.”
A version of this was sent to me by my Dad (thanks Dad) and in the spirit of fact checking I found the original article and liked it so much, I decided to share the original. Which was found on townhall.com by the way.
Most political predictions are made by biased pollsters, pundits, or prognosticators who are either rooting for Republicans or Democrats. I am neither. I am a former Libertarian Vice Presidential nominee, and a well-known Vegas oddsmaker with one of the most accurate records of predicting political races.
Neither Obama nor Romney are my horses in the race. I believe both Republicans and Democrats have destroyed the U.S. economy and brought us to the edge of economic disaster. My vote will go to Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson in November, whom I believe has the most fiscally conservative track record of any Governor in modern U.S. political history. Without the bold spending cuts of a Gary Johnson or Ron Paul, I don’t believe it’s possible to turnaround America.
But as an oddsmaker with a pretty remarkable track record of picking political races, I play no favorites. I simply use common sense to call them as I see them. Back in late December I released my New Years Predictions. I predicted back then- before a single GOP primary had been held, with Romney trailing for months to almost every GOP competitor from Rick Perry to Herman Cain to Newt- that Romney would easily rout his competition to win the GOP nomination by a landslide. I also predicted that the Presidential race between Obama and Romney would be very close until election day. But that on election day Romney would win by a landslide similar to Reagan-Carter in 1980.
Understanding history, today I am even more convinced of a resounding Romney victory. 32 years ago at this moment in time, Reagan was losing by 9 points to Carter. Romney is right now running even in polls. So why do most pollsters give Obama the edge?
First, most pollsters are missing one ingredient- common sense. Here is my gut instinct. Not oneAmerican who voted for McCain 4 years ago will switch to Obama. Not one in all the land. But many millions of people who voted for an unknown Obama 4 years ago are angry, disillusioned, turned off, or scared about the future. Voters know Obama now- and that is a bad harbinger.
Now to an analysis of the voting blocks that matter in U.S. politics:
*Black voters. Obama has nowhere to go but down among this group. His endorsement of gay marriage has alienated many black church-going Christians. He may get 88% of their vote instead of the 96% he got in 2008. This is not good news for Obama.
*Hispanic voters. Obama has nowhere to go but down among this group. If Romney picks Rubio as his VP running-mate the GOP may pick up an extra 10% to 15% of Hispanic voters (plus lock down Florida). This is not good news for Obama.
*Jewish voters. Obama has been weak in his support of Israel. Many Jewish voters and big donors are angry and disappointed. I predict Obama’s Jewish support drops from 78% in 2008 to the low 60’s. This is not good news for Obama.
*Youth voters. Obama’s biggest and most enthusiastic believers from 4 years ago have graduated into a job market from hell. Young people are disillusioned, frightened, and broke- a bad combination. The enthusiasm is long gone. Turnout will be much lower among young voters, as will actual voting percentages. This not good news for Obama.
*Catholic voters. Obama won a majority of Catholics in 2008. That won’t happen again. Out of desperation to please women, Obama went to war with the Catholic Church over contraception. Now he is being sued by the Catholic Church. Majority lost. This is not good news for Obama.
*Small Business owners. Because I ran for Vice President last time around, and I’m a small businessman myself, I know literally thousands of small business owners. At least 40% of them in my circle of friends, fans and supporters voted for Obama 4 years ago to “give someone different a chance.” I warned them that he would pursue a war on capitalism and demonize anyone who owned a business…that he’d support unions over the private sector in a big way…that he’d overwhelm the economy with spending and debt. My friends didn’t listen. Four years later, I can’t find one person in my circle of small business owner friends voting for Obama. Not one. This is not good news for Obama.
*Blue collar working class whites. Do I need to say a thing? White working class voters are about as happy with Obama as Boston Red Sox fans feel about the New York Yankees. This is not good news for Obama.
*Suburban moms. The issue isn’t contraception…it’s having a job to pay for contraception. Obama’s economy frightens these moms. They are worried about putting food on the table. They fear for their children’s future. This is not good news for Obama.
*Military Veterans. McCain won this group by 10 points. Romney is winning by 24 points. The more our military vets got to see of Obama, the more they disliked him. This is not good news for Obama.
Add it up. Is there one major group where Obama has gained since 2008? Will anyone in America wake up on election day saying “I didn’t vote for Obama 4 years ago. But he’s done such a fantastic job, I can’t wait to vote for him today.” Does anyone feel that a vote for Obama makes their job more secure?
Forget the polls. My gut instincts as a Vegas oddsmaker and common sense small businessman tell me this will be a historic landslide and a world-class repudiation of Obama’s radical and risky socialist agenda. It’s Reagan-Carter all over again.
But I’ll give Obama credit for one thing- he is living proof that familiarity breeds contempt.
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what they need at home.
First kid says “A computer.”
Teacher replies, “That would be very useful.”
Second kid says “A new lawn mower” and gets a similar response.
Little Johnny pops up and says: “At my house we don’t need anything.”
The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.
Little Johnny replies, “Nope I’m sure! When my sister started dating a Muslim,
I remember Dad saying … “Well, that’s the last fucking thing we need!”
And remember….you gotta be on the website to see the movies…. http://dragonlaffs.com
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
The closest I ever came to a menage a trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
When the movie director tried fly-fishing, he ended up with a casting call.
My next-door neighbor worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.
I failed Art because the subject didn’t suit my pallet, so I drew a blank.
The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
Some people call it “getting fixed,” but we prefer to call a spayed a spayed.
Honey and a warm cave are bear necessities.
Some people like raw meat on rare occasions.
An author who wrote from his basement had a best cellar.
There’s a new weight loss product on the market. It adds religion to a special liquid for foods that are allowed for dieters. It’s called Lettuce Spray.
If you invite an insomniac to your pajama party they will be up for it.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more. I’m a registered sects offender.
The basic plot for a romance novel set in the inner city is in the end, the hero gets the heroin.
McDonald’s is buying the Civic Arena. They’re going to call it the Macarena.
In Davis, CA, a man who used to perform autopsies has been arrested for taking home 157 pounds of human body parts. Do you know what his bail cost him? An arm and a leg.
For the graduating cheer leader, this game was her last hurrah.
Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!
I’m passing this one on as I received it with a couple of additions of my own and with the obligatory blue comments by the one and only Impish Dragon. This particular email grabbed me because I can’t ever remember in my short life…okay, not so sure life … of any other political personage having as many strong feelings expressed about him. Look at this email:
Highway billboard attacking Obama inspires heated newspaper letters:
a billboard in West Plains showing a caricature of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama wearing a turban and using his middle name – Hussein – in quotes has sparked outrage and accusations of racism.
Look at the bottom of the sign to see who paid for it. Love it!
I know some of these are old, some of them have been around for awhile, but still…it’s pretty obvious that an awful lot of AMERICANS have some pretty strong feelings.