Dragon Laffs #1280


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Good Morning Campers! Good Morning CampersAdult Content 8It’s been a busy week around Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media, LLP.  We’ve had the 4th of July, also known as Independence Day, Karl and Rosa (K² and his lovely wife) celebrated their 14th Anniversary on 5th of July, I had a procedure on my knee, also on the 5th which has put me on quarters for a week. Meaning that I’m on instructions from my doctor to keep my leg up and stay off it for a week.  The military calls that being placed on “quarters.” Needless to say, it’s already driving me nuts.  I’ve been sleeping (due to pain meds) watching movies, reading, working on Dragon Laffs and making different projects with 550 paracord, (also known as guy knitting, or guy macramé.  Here’s an example that I’m especially proud of:
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You might just see these for sale sometime soon.  We’ll see
So, I just had to share part of the finale of the fireworks from a little town called Walton, in Indiana that is pretty much right around the corner from us and just a little bitty town, but they put on one heck of a fireworks show every year…

Then I was texting a friend of mine…you’ve met him, he’s had a couple of opinion pieces on here before.  I believe I’ve introduced him as either Todd or Wheats or maybe both.  Anyway, he swore to me that a hot dog just drove by where he was having lunch and I 01gtold him that he needed to quit smoking that wacky stuff for lunch.  Well, he got so incensed that he was, in fact sober and just happened to run into this vehicle on his way back to work:

It’s truly amazing the things that you can run into in our country.

Anyway, I guess you’ve heard enough about my week and we should really get to the stuff that you’ve all tuned in to see.

So, what do you say we get on with it…

Let's Laugh 1

Young thug dragon

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Oh boy! This one is called:
So my ex-wife had to call the bank concerning our joint account:
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I did my level best to verify this.  As far as I can tell, it’s all true:
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Shortly after WWII a guy named Art Lacey went to Kansas to buy a surplus B-17. His idea was to fly it back to Oregon, jack it up in the air and make a gas station out of it. He paid $15,000 for it. He asked which one was his and they said take whichever you want because there were miles of them. He didn’t know how to fly a 4-engine airplane so he read the manual while he taxied around by himself. They said he couldn’t take off alone so he put a mannequin in the co-pilot’s seat and off he went. 

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He flew around a bit to get the feel of it and when he went to land he realized he needed a co-pilot to lower the landing gear. He crashed and totaled his plane and another on the ground. They wrote them both off as “wind damaged” and told him to pick out another. He talked a friend into being his co-pilot and off they went.

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They flew to Palm Springs where Lacey wrote a hot check for gas. Then they headed for Oregon. They hit a snow storm and couldn’t find their way, so they went down below 1,000 feet and followed the railroad tracks. His partner sat in the nose section and would yell, “TUNNEL” when he saw one and Lacey would climb over the mountain.

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They landed safely, he made good the hot check he wrote, and they started getting permits to move a B-17 on the state highway. The highway department repeatedly denied his permit and fought him tooth and nail for a long time, so late one Saturday night, he just moved it himself. He got a $10 ticket from the police for having too wide a load.

dragon pic
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My Dad, the golfer, sent me this one, also:
A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart.
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Elizabeth, a “beautiful” real golfer who lived in a villa on the
golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him.
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Hey, are you okay, what’s your name?”
“Willis,” he replied.
“Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Aw come on,” Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
“Well okay,” Willis finally agreed, and added, “but my wife won’t like it.”
After a hearty drink AND sexy driving and putting lessons, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset.”
“Don’t be foolish!” Elizabeth said with a smile , she wont know any thing. By the way, where is she?”
“Under the cart!”

148Bouncing back to last week…
I received this from Dad this week, as another look at Chief Justice Roberts opinion and what it means.  I know Dad’s not the author, and is just passing it along, but for the sake of the stagecraft, “Take it away, Dad!”

Before you look to do harm to Chief Justice Roberts or his family, it’s important that you think carefully about the meaning – the true nature — of his ruling on Obama-care. The Left will shout that they won, that Obama-care was upheld and all the rest. Let them.
It will be a short-lived celebration.
Here’s what really occurred — payback. Yes, payback for Obama’s numerous, ill-advised and childish insults directed toward SCOTUS.
Chief Justice Roberts actually ruled the mandate, relative to the commerce clause, was unconstitutional. That’s how the Democrats got Obama-care going in the first place. This is critical. His ruling means Congress can’t compel American citizens to purchase anything. Ever. The notion is now officially and forever, unconstitutional. As it should be.
Next, he stated that, because Congress doesn’t have the ability to mandate, it must, to fund Obama-care, rely on its power to tax. Therefore, the mechanism that funds Obama-care is a tax. This is also critical. Recall back during the initial Obama-care battles, the Democrats called it a penalty, Republicans called it a tax. Democrats consistently soft sold it as a penalty. It went to vote as a penalty. Obama declared endlessly, that it was not a tax, it was a penalty. But when the Democrats argued in front of the Supreme Court, they said ‘hey, a penalty or a tax, either way’. So, Roberts gave them a tax. It is now the official law of the land — beyond word-play and silly shenanigans. Obama-care is funded by tax dollars. Democrats now must defend a tax increase to justify the Obama-care law.
Finally, he struck down as unconstitutional, the Obama-care idea that the federal government can bully states into complying by yanking their existing medicaid funding. Liberals, through Obama-care, basically said to the states — ‘comply with Obama-care or we will stop existing funding.’ Roberts ruled that is a no-no. If a state takes the money, fine, the Feds can tell the state how to run a program, but if the state refuses money, the federal government can’t penalize the state by yanking other funding. Therefore, a state can decline to participate in Obama-care without penalty. This is obviously a serious problem. Are we going to have 10, 12, 25 states not participating in “national” health-care? Suddenly, it’s not national, is it?
Ultimately, Roberts supported states rights by limiting the federal government’s coercive abilities. He ruled that the government can not force the people to purchase products or services under the commerce clause and he forced liberals to have to come clean and admit that Obama-care is funded by tax increases.
Although he didn’t guarantee Romney a win, he certainly did more than his part and should be applauded.
And he did this without creating a civil war or having bricks thrown threw his windshield. Oh, and he’ll be home in time for dinner.
Brilliant.


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And a really, really nice opinion piece Charles Hurt of the Washington Times

The Silver Lining? Now Obama Owns His Tax Hikes

By Charles Hurt

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

Conservatives gathering now for a low-tech lynching of Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. need to take a quick breath of air and think about what he managed to accomplish by upholding President Obama’s highly unpopular, signature piece of legislation.

Though he shocked many by joining the left plank on the high court, Justice Roberts. pretty much did what he was supposed to do. He finally put a boundary on how much freedom the federal government can gobble up from states and individuals under the “commerce clause” — that most specious scheme for so much federal thievery.

Then he told President Obama and his kleptocrats in Congress that they can have their health care law, but they cannot keep lying about it. A tax is a tax and they are liars if they call it anything else. And they just stuck the crippled American taxpayer with one of the biggest, broadest, most regressive tax-hikes in history — and during a deep recession!

Finally, Justice Roberts turned to the bumbling, tongue-twisted and goofball opposition party — sometimes called the “Republican” party but usually called the “stupid” or “slow” party — and told them to man up, quit whining and fix the horrific mess that they are so much responsible for. They may have messed their diaper, but he’s not changing it for them.

OK, fine, maybe Republicans didn’t vote for Obamacare. Woo-hoo! And that got us, well, Obamacare anyway.

Yes, Republicans are nearly equally responsible for Obamacare because they set the stage perfectly for Mr. Obama’s unquestioned ascent to the White House and handed his kleptocrats complete control of Congress for the first two years of the Great Taxus Interegnum.

So badly had they mishandled the economy and everything else and so badly had they compromised and corrupted themselves that even Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid became viable options for leadership.

It was under the dazed gaze of San Fran Pelosi and the fat-fisted leadership of Vegas Reid that we got stuck with Obamacare.

In response to an ocean of debt, out-of-control spending and taxpayers running out of money, Mrs. Pelosi, Mr. Reid and Mr. Obama decided to double down on the debt, spend even more money we don’t have and take away what little money taxpayers had left.

And in response to the highest unemployment in decades, they decided to take even more money away from the companies that provide jobs. And then they yoked those companies with Obamacare.

Somehow, Republicans were not able to make a coherent argument against all of this. They could not make the simple argument that if you don’t like your postal service, you aren’t going to like health care brought to you by the federal government either.

Now, going into the election, President Obama has his law and now he must live with it. He must own it. And he must be judged for the massive taxes his law will levy on innocent Americans.

And then it will be up to Mitt Romney and a new set of Republicans to clean up this legislative cesspool.

Because, as Justice Roberts eloquently writes:

“Members of this Court are vested with the authority to interpret the law; we possess neither the expertise nor the prerogative to make policy judgments. Those decisions are entrusted to our nation´s elected leaders, who can be thrown out of office if the people disagree with them. It is not our job to protect the people from the consequences of their political choices.”

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/28/hurt-silver-lining-now-obama-owns-his-tax-hikes/?page=all#pagebreak

 

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Observations from our own schizoid Gracie/Jeannie… or … is it … Jeannie/Gracie?  I don’t know, but some of them are pretty good:

The Supreme Court rendered its ruling on President
Obama’s health care reform law Thursday. About the
only thing more expensive than the cost of the bill
was the votes for the bill. For all the money this
fiasco has cost us we could have had another
unnecessary war.


Justice John Roberts just updated his relationship

status with the Republican party to “It’s complicated.”


A Filipino man who came to California in 1928 has
become a U.S. citizen at age 102. It’s a good thing
he made it because the Border Patrol says they
were that close to finally nabbing him.


The Supreme Court has tossed a law making it a
crime to lie about receiving military awards saying
it is free speech. So free speech gives you the right
to wear a medal you didn’t win because some guy
who really did win the medal got shot to protect
your freedom of speech.


Sarah Palin’s back on the “death panel” rant, saying
“Obamacare did in fact create a panel of faceless
bureaucrats who have the power to make life and
death decisions about health care funding.” Uh
Sarah, we already had those, they’re called
“insurance companies.”


Pew Research reported Asian immigrants were the
largest group coming into the U.S. last year for the
first time ever, with most coming from India. It
brings tears to the eyes of many Americans. After
twenty years of endless waiting, technical support
is a local call.


George Washington’s personal copy of the U.S.
Constitution sold at auction Friday for ten million
dollars to a Mount Vernon trust. He’s so revered.
George Washington is the only president in history
who never blamed his problems on the previous
administration.


President Obama asked couples who are getting
married to forego wedding gifts and register instead
with his campaign. It’s an economical idea. Why buy
a couple a four hundred dollar saucepan when for the
same money you can buy them a mid-level cabinet
position?


Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, will make a record
setting milestone when she travels to her 100th country
this week.  Coincidentally, last week Obama played
his 100th round of golf since being in the White House.
  So, evidentally, he celebrates with a round of golf
every time she leaves.  He was heard saying,
“I know how Bill feels.”


USA Today released a poll showing confidence in
the U.S. public schools at an all-time low. There’s
also no confidence in churches and banks and TV
news. Civilization is the process of realizing that
except for your astrologer and hair stylist, you
can’t trust anyone.


A poll says that 1 in 4 Americans are uncommitted
for the 2012 presidential election. The other three
are saying “There’s an election this year?”

 


Okay, that’s enough for today!  I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time!  Thanks Jeannie!


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Motivational Jew-Jitsu
Motivational Joe Gaga
Motivational Justin Bieber
Motivational Juxtaposition

In pharmacology, all drugs tend to have a generic name.  For example, Tylenol is called acetamophen, Aleve is naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin and Advil is called ibuprofen. The Israeli drug agency had been looking for some time for a generic name for Viagra and after many months, they settled on the generic name mycoxafloppin.

NOTE: They had also given thought to these other generic names – mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix and ibepokin.

No, I don’t know why it’s the Israeli drug agency, that’s the way the joke came to me.

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Okay, so I really like this one

Me: God, can I ask you a  question?
God: Sure.
Me: Promise you won’t get mad.
God: I  promise.
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me  today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up  late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God:  Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to  wait.
God: Huummm.
Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just  as I picked up a call.
God: All right.
Me: And on top of it all,  when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot massager and  relax, but it wouldn’t work!!!  Nothing went right today! Why did you do  that?
God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this  morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your  life.  I let you sleep through that.
Me: (humbled): OH…
GOD: I  didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that  would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The  first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn’t want you to  catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
Me:  (embarrassed): Ok…
God: Your phone went dead because the person that  was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call,  I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me:  (softly) I see God.
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage  that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t  think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I’m sorry God.
God:  Don’t be sorry, just learn to trust me…..in all things, the good and the  bad.
Me: I will trust you.
God: And don’t doubt that my plan for  your day is always better than your plan.
Me: I won’t God. And let me  just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
God: You’re welcome  child. It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my  children.

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What the
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The only thing I can figure is that they had to climb in and out through the window.

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Looks a lot like one of those fuzzy plants that grow out of a head shaped planter or something

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Ummm…words escape me.  And you all know how rare that is!

Probably one of the best videos ever made.  Worth watching by all members of your family.  It’s called, How to Help a Drunk Driver…

As always, you have to be on the website to see the videos.  So, go to http://dragonlaffs.com

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Here’s a good Rube Goldberg machine called, the page turner:

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a62

a63 Real Cowboys have no fear
Real cowboys have no fear!

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A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch,
totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma
of perfume filled the room.
“What are you doing? “she asked.
“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work, “the daughter-in-law answered.
“But you’re naked! “the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress, “the daughter-in-law explained.
“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress, “she explained.
“It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress,
he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.
He can’t get enough of me”
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best
perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on
the couch, waiting for her husban d to arrive. Finally her
husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.
“Needs ironing, “he said. “What’s for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.

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and finally, just a quick reminder of what’s coming…
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and what you can do…
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Death CoffeeWe spend so much of our time, now-a-days, complaining about the world around us and how terrible people are, that we can’t help but be depressed and disappointed in human kind.  But are all people as despicable as politicians?  Have we all gone over to the dark side?   Apparently not, as these pictures show, there is still a part of humanity that is worth celebrating.  A portion of the world that is exemplary.  My wish and hope is that we all get stimulated into doing something worthwhile ourselves, by the wonderful example that is set for us here.

Let’s start with this sign at a book store that is not only refreshingly charitable, but emphasizes what myself and many other people believe is a very important habit to pick up.  That of reading!

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The moment in which this Ohio athlete stopped to help an injured competitor across the finish line during a track meet.

17-year-old Meghan Vogel was in last place in the 3,200-meter run when she caught up to competitor Arden McMath, whose body was giving out. Instead of running past her to avoid the last-place finish, Vogel put McMath’s arm around her shoulders, carried her 30 meters, and then pushed her over the finish line before crossing it.

Image by The Daily Call, Mike Ullery / AP

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This exchange in letters between a 3 year-old girl and the retailer Sainsbury’s in London…
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1c4Okay, so how about this next one?  This note that was handed to a waiter along with a $20 bill by an elderly lady in his restaurant…

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Very touching!

Then there is this awesome sign in front of an awesome Subway Restaurant!
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This picture of a villager carrying stranded kittens to dry land during floods in Cuttack City, India. 1c7 1c8

There are people out there who help in whatever manner they are able.  It does my heart good to see these examples of such selflessness. Plaza Cleaners in Portland, OR, helped over 2,000 unemployed workers who couldn’t afford dry cleaning. The store’s owner estimated that it cost his company $32,000 dollars.
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This photograph of a man giving his shoes to a homeless girl in Rio de Janeiro.
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These photos of two children collaborating to rescue a dog who had fallen into a ravine.
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This note on a young family’s check.
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Then there is this one.  That touched me the most!  How awesome is this exchange between a protester and a soldier during a protest in Brazil… this is really powerful!
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And finally, we are going to end today’s issue of Dragon Laffs with this picture of these two friends that has a really, really high Awwww! factor.
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Be well my friends!  Enjoy your weekend!
Cheers!
impish 2 line

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1280

  1. Paul Bader says:

    again, awesome issue – it makes monday’s eaiser to take as i get to read saturday’s issue at lunch – thanks again for all your hard work and dedication

  2. Kris Marasca says:

    awesome edition today! Thanks for the pictures which helped to restore my faith in mankind a little.

    • impishdragon says:

      Thanks to everyone who has left nice comments here and in my (our) email accounts. It’s a lot of fun to make an issue and it’s even more fun when we are told how much it was enjoyed.
      Cheers!
      Impish Dragon

  3. lethalleprechaun says:

    I’ll tell you the same thing I told the contributor of that piece on Israeli Viagra-
    They’re ISRAELI that means they are JEWISH and they speak HEBREW/YIDDISH!
    The generic name for Viagra is ‘Shmecklestiffener’ where as Cialis goes by ‘Farkaktfixer’!

  4. With all due respect to C. J. Roberts, he was wrong about the job of the court not being to protect the people from the stupidity of their representatives. OK he didn’t put it that way. But when he took the oath of office, he swore to uphold and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic, just as every other elected official does. In using his torturous logic to defend the law and uphold it, he has turned a blind eye to the Constitution and pretended to find the law not to be against the Constitution but in accordance with it. The first and foremost duty of the Supreme Court, in my opinion at least should be to uphold the principles and plans of the Constitution without regard to the actions of Congress or the President and weigh not the interests of the government, or the people, but the constitutional restraints on the government and not allow the over-reach of the government legislatively or by challenged executive order to stand when it conflicts with the Constitution. This he and four other members of the Court failed to do, and whatever his reasoning, we will have to endure the consequences for a long time to come.

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