Dragon Laffs #1269


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Adult-Content-1_thumb1_thumb_thumbGood Morning Campers!  For most of you, as you are reading this, I should be winging my way back to the land of cornfields and basketball.  No, not Kentucky!  Indiana! Sheesh!  To give you an idea of how crazy this trip is going to be…in order to go to Indianapolis, from Dallas/Ft. Worth, we are going by way of Denver.  No, not Denver, Indiana (yes, there is a Denver, Indiana, as well as a Mexico, Miami, Chili, Russiaville…it’s like all the good names were taken and they had to start over!) Denver, Colorado!  Here’s the travel map:

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Death CoffeeOkay, DFW to Denver, 647 miles + Denver to Indy, 1003 miles.  Total = 1650 miles.  Now, DFW to Indy = 770 miles.  880 miles out of our way!  It’s more than twice as far!!!!  Gods how I hate commercial Air Travel!!!!

It would be about 1000 miles driving, take about 17 hours to get there.  By flying, we’re … let’s see.  We’re leaving the hotel at about 0530L hrs, and we should pull into my house at about 1730L.  That’s 13 hours.  Sheesh, for a measly 4 more hours we could’ve driven!!!

Gods, how I hate Commercial Air Travel!!!

Okay, so enough complaining out of me.  I’ll do enough of that on the trip.  Let’s get started with the fun stuff!1_thumb9_thumb_thumb_thumb

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The cartoons that are always the funniest, are those that are closest to the truth!

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Way too funny!

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What’s the old saying?  The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.  And the one that stays dead center in the middle of the herd, gets culled last.

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Here’s a collection of idiots…and if you watch the upper left hand corner you can click on parts 2 thru 6.  Yup…that’s right.  Lots and LOTS of idiots:

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Ahhhh!  Summer vacation.

Thanks to Jeannie for this one:

Amway Arena Implosion

After being home to the NBA’s Orlando Magic for over 20 years, Amway Arena was imploded on March 25th, 2012.

Who doesn’t like a good old demolition?

 

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With Tax Deadline rapidly approaching, a couple of tax jokes seem to be in order

A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. And then asks, “What is your occupation?”
“I’m a whore,” she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken a back and says, “No, No, No, that won’t work. Let’s try to rephrase that.”
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”
“No, that still won’t work. Try again.”
They both think for a moment and the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”
“Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year.”
“Chicken Farmer it is.”

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Tax day

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Gee, that looks an awful lot like the bar I was in last night…

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LL has one of these on his desk…except it’s made out of a real person.  Someone who owed him money.

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And the ever funny classic:

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And the other thing that happens in April, April Fools Day, which we let pass without incident.  You should be proud of us!
Well, not everyone has the restraint that we have, here at D&LL, Ltd…as you will see, courtesy of our dear camper buddy, Jeannie


Talking Sheep and Flying Penguins: The Top 10 Most Popular April Fools Videos

It’s that time of the year again when people try to make you believe stuff that isn’t true.

No, we are not talking about the elections – we are talking about April Fools Day

http://mememachine.viralvideochart.com/blog/2011/4/1/talking-sheep-and-flying-penguins-the-top-10-most-popular-ap.html

 

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Because Love has very little to do with Lust.

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Ah, I love when a lout gets his comeuppance!

You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to
exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? 
As the story was told …
After a busy day, our friend had just settled down for a nap on his train from Waterloo as far as his destination at Winchester, when the chap sitting near him hauled out his mobile and started up: 
“Hi darling it’s Peter, I’m on the train – yes, I know it’s the 6.30 not the 4.30 but I had a long meeting – no, not with that floozy from the typing pool, I was with the boss!
No darling you’re the only one in my life – yes, I’m sure, cross my
heart”  blah blah blah
This was still going on at Wimbledon , when the young woman opposite, driven beyond endurance, yelled at the top of
her voice,
“Hey, Peter, turn that bloody phone off and come back to bed!!”

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I thought this little poem very appropriate for my stay here in Texas

The Cowboy buys a bra

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I ain’t much for shopping,
Or for goin’ into town
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain’t too easily found.

But the day came when I had to go –
I left the kids with Ma.
But ‘fore I left, she asked me,
‘Would you pick me up a bra?’

So without thinkin’ I said, ‘Sure,’
How tough could that job be?
An’ I bent down and kissed her
An’ said, ‘I’ll be back by three.’

Well, I done the things I needed,
But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing –
I worked me up a sweat

I walked into the ladies shop
My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn’t want to take a chance
On bein’ recognized.

I walked up to the sales clerk –
I didn’t hem or haw –
I told that lady right straight out,
‘I’m here to buy a bra.’

From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store
Was a’gawkin’ right at me!

‘What kind would you be looking for?’
Well, I just scratched my head.
I’d only seen one kind before,
‘Thought bras was bras,’ I said.

She gave me a disgusted look,
‘Well sir, that’s where you’re wrong.
Follow me,’ I heard her say,
Like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
I thought my jaw would hit the floor
When I saw that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I’d never seen before
I thought I’d go plumb crazy
‘fore I left that women’s store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

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They had bras that made you feel
Like you ain’t wearing one at all,
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you’re small.

Well, I finally made my mind up –
Picked a black and lacy one –
I told the lady, ‘Bag it up,’
And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size
I didn’t hesitate
I knew that measurement by heart,
‘A six-and-seven-eighths.’

‘Six and seven eighths you say?
That really isn’t right.’
‘Oh, yes ma’am! I’m real positive –
I measured them last night!’

I thought that she’d go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise
When I told her that my wife’s bust
Was the same as my hat size.

‘That’s what I used to measure with,
I figured it was fair,
But if I’m wrong, I’m sorry ma’am.’
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they all was crackin’ up
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, ‘Good day.’

My wife had heard the story
‘fore I ever made it home.
She’d talked to fifteen women
Who called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin’
But by then I didn’t care.
Now she don’t ask and I don’t shop
For women’s underwear.

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I really love the flash mobs: This one is at Denver Airport during the holidays.  They all look like they are having such a good time.  Everyone has a smile!

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Well, today, (Tuesday) was an interesting day around here.  I guess this is unusual, even for Texas when a dragon DOESN’T visit.  lol.

Twister Rips Through 18-Wheelers, Homes
WFAA|Added on April 3, 2012

Dramatic scenes of widespread destruction around Dallas, Texas, as a strong tornado moves through the area.http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/weather/2012/04/03/vosil-tx-tornado.wfaa

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Drill Sgt

Thanks to K² for this one.  It’s truly amazing how fast and easy they get these cars open.  Makes me think that even the trunk isn’t safe.  The video starts with a lady doing sign language, not sure what that’s all about, but get through that and the video starts.

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Pun Queen
it just wouldn’t be a complete issue with out some puns by our favorite pun queen…Diaman!

People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me  tell you, that makes me sick.
 
Though humble in secular matters, the minister had an altar ego.
 
The smartest kid in the math class could always be counted on.
 
A lot of farmers have been starting online blogs and writing about
their wheat. They’re cropping up everywhere.

 

 

 

 
The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
 
The Jockey’s Union was on the right track.
 
Flexible people never get bent out of shape.

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Well, as most of us know, tomorrow is Easter.  This holiday means so many different things to so many different people that it’s hard to do an entire Easter issue, much less an Easter section.  But, let’s get a laugh or two out of the holiday because, after all, that is what we do around here…

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But Oh my…what’s a rabbit to do?

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Ever wonder why dragons don’t get invited to Easter Egg hunts?

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It really has very little to do with our egg decorating ability.  We are actually quite talented.EasterDragon

Johnsen, Char - Easter Dragon 2Nope we KNOW who it is who brings the Easter Baskets….It’s the EASTER DRAGON!
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hallow

Jelly beans

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Believe it or not…
5 mb hard drive in 1956

917 5 MB harddisk in 1956

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So, for our last full night here in town, we went out as a class to the Stockyards.  photo3

I even got to pick out my own dinner
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We all ended up at the same place.  Came highly recommended.
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and a wonderful time was had by all.  I’d like to officially thank the people of Ft. Worth who made an otherwise boring Military Class, something entertaining and fun.  Thanks Carswell CES and everyone at NAS JRB Ft. Worth.

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5 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1269

  1. Corey Howells pretend Blogger Purveyor of Spam based PORN says:

    Hahahahahahaha, this politics related YouTube video is truly so humorous, I liked it. Thanks in favor of sharing this.

    Lethal here-

    Hahahahahahaha, you’re pathetic! Sticky keyboard issues keep you from proper grammar or did you ditch school in favor of wanking off in gay peep shows?

    Seriously, die slowly from a little head (which apparently contains your brains) rotting STD you scum sucking perverted Spammer. Mean while go Occupy an Airport Mens Room stall next to a wide stance Larry Craig and be his bathroom bitch putz.

  2. Henrietta C. Patten - Spam Stock Speculator & Swindler says:

    I like this blog its a master peace ! .

    Lethal here!

    We tend to agree with your assessment, however we prefer the term ‘Masterpiece’ as opposed to your ‘Hooked on Phonics & Ebonics of Banjo Playing Morons’ version of things.

    Thanks for sharing your mind & thoughts with us! However given the quality of this thought and how unwell it bodes for your mind and IQ perhaps you should refrain from sharing further with us as it seems you need all the mind and thoughts you have for just managing to walk and talk you semi literate spammer!

  3. newbie cigar blog spaming smoke up your butts trying to pretend he's not spamming says:

    Wow! Hey everyone! Been here a coupla months now and only just noticed this theme! Doh. I’m in my own earth. I try my best to steem everyone’s opinion, even if I think its rubbish.

    Lethal here~ I think your inability to spell ‘steam’ or possibly ‘steer’ coupled with you blatant spamming attempt is rubbish. At least get one of the free spell checker that checks your spelling even in your browser you whanker!

    (Dis)cordially,

    Lethal (to Spammers) Leprechaun

  4. Jeannie says:

    HA! Good one, LL! Have a safe trip home Impish. God Speed!

  5. lethalleprechaun says:

    Surprisingly you look pretty good in a 10 gallon hat, serape and 6 shooter. Whose that ugly SOB next to you though? ;P

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