Lethal here again folks
Today I am coming to you from my offices at my law firm, Dewy, Cheatem, Griftem and Howe, rather than my usually offices at the DragonLaffs Corporate HQ. As there has been a bit of a development. As you know I said I would keep you updated on Impish’s situation as events warranted. Well I never would have suspected that the event warranting the update would have been an actual warrant for his detention!
Let me explain, as you know until we could figure out just who and why Impish was snatched I had him doing a forced imitation of Carmen Sandiago in an attempt to keep him hidden and safe. As you might have also garnered from the last update my staff and I were not with out our suspicions based on where Impish had re-emerged into this realm as to who it was behind his being dragonnapped.
This morning at the same time my law offices were receiving what you see below by official Gargoylegram messenger, identical copies appeared in every town in every country in the 5 realms, 2 dozen or so assorted dimensions and stuck to the outside of DragonLaffs HQ. IF its a little hard to read I DO apologize but please keep in mind the originals are on some sort of skin (what kind I do not want to consider) and were scribed with a Dragon claw suitable resharpened for use as a quill!
Now Queen Tiamat is not someone or something to be trifled with. She is considered among the eldest of the Elder Fae and even most of the Elder Fae and Elder Gods grant her due deference and generally try not to incur too much of her wrath or displeasure. When she is offended or in a snit and displeased, a rabid PMSing badger on crack would win a most cuddly contest next to her.
In short this writ pretty much took away all my remaining wiggle room, all my Irish inspirations, left handed leprechaun legal tricks, Gaelic Grifts and Celtic chicanery options went right out the window faster than Impish after an Ice Cream Truck.
At noon today as an officer of both the Fae and Mortal courts armed with the power of and under the compulsion of this Writ, in the name of the Court of Queen Tiamat, Queen and Mother of All True Dragonkind I placed Impish Dragon under arrest. Discussions of the logistics and timing of pending arrangements for extradition to the Realm of Dragons are currently under way but not likely to be completed until some time mid next week at the soonest.
NOW BEOFRE YOU COMMENCE THE THROWING OF ROTTEN FRUIT AND SHOES!
1.) I had no choice I was out maneuvered and left without a single option. I have been at least two steps behind the entire situation. I finally caught up to one step behind but it was too late even then. The Writ came through very early this morning but I did not arrest Impish until noon because we were hard at working looking for loopholes and options. I plain ran out of time when I got word that someone one the safe island was attempting to contact Tiamat and negotiate for a reward for Impish’s location
2.) IF I had not arrested him myself someone that was not his friend would have. Impish probably would have resisted the attempt. At best one or both of them would have gotten hurt, possibly seriously and Impish would be looking at additional charges of assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. At worse one or the other would be dead and Impish might be charge with Murder of an Officer of the Court. Regardless of the outcome of the other charges that is an automatic death sentence.
3.) Arresting him myself and my subsequent instructions to him to plead to be held in an Accorded Neutral Territory facility pending trial based on his mistreatment and harsh imprisonment conditions the last time around meant that I could at least chose a place where he would be safe(r), better cared for and more comfortable. It also allowed me to choose a location of one of the few people who might tell Queen Tiamet to bugger off and kiss her own bloody arse over any further demands she might be inclined to make and well as give me time to try and negotiate for the hearing and trial to be held someplace both Impish and I might feel safe and secure (definitely NOT Queen Tiamat’s realm or court).
‘Tis off then I am to bury a Dragon Queen under a blizzard of pretrial motions and to kiss some major Elder God tushe in the hopes of saving not only my but my biggest billable client and bestest bud’s life. I’m sure despite advice to the contrary not to try the case in the court of public opinion Impish will have a few thoughts on this development tomorrow ( another advantage of my arresting him was placing him someplace he could still work and post from)
I’ll update as soon as another “other shoe” drops.
Dragon Laffs 
Lethal just don’t let the Queen get to you! How’s the water situation by you? Get to higher grounds and saved yourself and your computer….
Ginny the water got up to the point where my patio was underwater right up to my slider (But fortunately not over the track for it) which is close enough to make me worry about the possibility of wet carpets while it was raining but quickly receded once it stopped. That’s the good news.
The BAD news is that it is starting to look like yet once again, my laptop is showing indications of a motherboard level video failure. Since this will mark the 3rd return and repair event while it is under warranty I am hoping to persuade HP to declare this a lemon and give me a different better laptop for my troubles as three times inside of 18 months with 3 motherboard failures tends to indicate the motherboard itself is a garbage design.
OF course if anyone has a spare current model 15″ or larger Dell or Alienware Lap top with at least 4 gig of memory they’d like to contribute (yeah RIGHT! whats the chances of THAT?) to replace this nightmare I’m using it would be gratefully accepted.
can we contact Guido and have a hit put out on the Queen??
Paul while I like where your head is at the truth is that were I to make that inquiry Guido would either laugh at me and say “No seriously Dude who do you need whacked” or out right whack me out of a reflex self preservation instinct for even suggesting it.
I’m hoping to get Daniel Webster to sit second chair on this cause Impish is looking like he’s in serious need of his own dream team to get off from this one.