Leprechaun Laughs # 125 for Wednesday 1/25/12


DL HEader Rapunzel

 Well after a hectic few days I can say at last that (assuming he doesn’t do anything to call attention to himself) Impish is for the moment safe and sound. We still have more unanswered questions but we’re pretty sure we have definitive answers to the how, where and who issues. We’ll keep accessing all avenues of investigation (both mundane and arcane) and keep you informed of any new developments.

Mean time on another note, ole Mother Nature seems to be intent on apologizing to us for last years drought down here. We’re already ahead for this year on rain and we’re expecting still more over the next several days, some of it possibly heavy and fast. We’re looking at a possibility of 3 to 5 inches today alone and at least a total of 4 to 6 over the course of the days of rain.

As with everything else in life it seems rain too is either feast or famine.

 

Open Logo 1

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CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE  IN ROME

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St.Peters Square …

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”


The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.”


The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
The four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

She proudly replies, “I have a daughter,


SLIM
TALL

34GG BREASTS
24″ WAIST and
34″ HIPS

!cid_1_2340045567@web110606_mail_gq1_yahoo  When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”

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FYI: They make an Irish Cream flavored whipped cream now that is a perfect topper

Trivia and help feed hungry shelter dogs and cats!

Get your daily dose of Kibble Karma… Click to Play Bow Wow and Meow

Every dog and cat deserves a decent dinner!

If the above Bow-Wow and Meow links don’t work, please click on this link for dogs, http://www.freekibble.com/

or this one for cats, http://www.freekibblekat.com/

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breaking news 2

Burger King tries home delivery

By Bruce Horovitz, USA TODAY

The door-to-door Whopper may soon be on the menu.

Burger King, the No. 2 burger chain, has quietly begun testing home delivery of its burgers, fries and other sandwiches since fall at four of its restaurants in the greater Washington, D.C., area, with an eye on expanding beyond that.

Should home delivery catch on for the burger giants — as it has for the pizza kingpins — it could be an industry changer. But it runs counter to long-held consumer perception that fast-food burgers and fries travel poorly — and don’t warm up well in the microwave. It also would require millions of hungry folks to change their at-home eating habits. “There are some real food-quality issues here,” says Ron Paul, president of research firm Technomic. “But there’s no question that consumer expectation for having things delivered has risen.”

In some markets, Amazon can deliver books the same day they’re ordered. Groceries are increasingly being delivered. And retail giants, including Sears and Target, even offered home delivery of fresh-cut Christmas trees.

In an electronic age of instant everything — when millions of consumers expect to get what they want at the click of a button — the logic may seem sound. But what about those soggy fries and limp burgers that folks fear go hand-in-hand with home delivery?

Well, Burger King has developed a “proprietary thermal packaging technology,” says Jonathan Fitzpatrick, chief brand and operations officer for Burger King, “which ensures the Whopper is delivered hot and fresh, and the french fries are delivered hot and crispy.”

There’s a $2 delivery fee. And depending on the store (three in Maryland and one in Virginia), minimum orders vary from $8 to $10.

The stores try to deliver within 30 minutes of the time a phone or online order is received. Delivery customers must live within a 10-minute drive of the store. All soft-drink orders are in bottles. And breakfast items are not delivered. Delivery times are 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

McDonald’s has two restaurants in Manhattan that offer delivery only to businesses. But there are no plans to expand the service, spokeswoman Ashlee Yingling says.

And Domino’s, whose business is 70% delivery, is watching — with a smile. “We wish them luck,” spokesman Tim McIntyre says. “There is a reason that not all pizza places deliver: It isn’t easy.”

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WOW! A Press Secretary that tells the WHOLE truth? Someone better fire him FAST!

Celtic Consumer Warnings

With Debit Card Changes You May Need To Carry Cash

January 17, 2012 By LowCards.com

Consumers could see more $5 or $10 minimum charge rules–or at least polite  requests–when using credit or debit cards this year, as merchants try to cope with an unintended effect of new federal limits on how much card issuers can charge them in so-called “swipe fees.”

Those regulations already sparked an uproar when some banks tried to impose monthly debit card use fees on consumers to offset the revenue hit–only to retreat in the face of
a withering backlash.

But the fallout didn’t end there. In an odd twist that stems from the way swipe fees have been assessed, the new rule could prompt card issuers to actually raise fees on smaller purchases in order to offset lost revenue from lower fees on larger ones.

And that means stores with a lot of small-ticket sales, such as coffee shops and gas stations, may force or coax consumers into paying with plain old cash for purchases under a certain amount, experts predict.

Stores now can refuse to accept credit cards for those smaller purchases, and they may request that customers not use debit cards for them either.

Story by J. Scott Trubey & Arielle Kass for the Atlanta Journal Constitution

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5 Reasons It’s Better To Date A Geek

date a geekLet’s face it – geeks make for a better relationship than any of those alpha-male types. Exactly why is that though? Are you prepared to shun good looks for reliability and utility? What can you expect when you exchange your old boyfriend for a new geek version?

I’m going to assume here a geek boyfriend case type, though of course geek girlfriends have also been known to exist in the wild. Unfortunately, data on these rare creatures is still quite scarce, so we will not discuss them today. It’s tragic that I have to say this, but please don’t take this as 100% serious dating advice, and take a deep breath before posting vile comments about how shockingly generalized and stereotypical this portrayal of geeks is.

Free Tech Support

A standard issue geek is, by default, able to stop both your microwave oven and the TiVo, from flashing incessantly at you 00:00. His tech-savviness will ensure you stay atop of HDMI, HTML, HTTP and HDTVs with attached HDDs. He’ll certify that your virus definitions and various operating systems are all up to do date, managed via a central house server while-u-wait.

date a geek

Don’t test his patience though – while the geek boyfriend will be more than happy to tutor you in Java and PHP, he will not appreciate questions about Windows XP. You have an expert at your disposal here, not a replacement search engine. Girls not willing to learn for themselves need not apply for a geek boyfriend – your Facebook will be checked, and you will be Googled!

Logic-Based Functionality

All geeks are pre-supplied with a Logic Interpreter, though they lack the typical Emotional Response Decision Determiner. While they may not be of much use in emotionally troubled times, you can depend on them to make logical decisions when the water level climbs. When the floods come, who would you rather be with? Someone to offer a shoulder to cry on, or a geek who can seek out the nearest high ground, upon which to set up an ad-hoc wifi communications protocol?

They won’t leave you

In terms of “going to cheat on you” and related factors, geeks are far less likely than their jock detractors. A geek is eternally grateful that you chose to merge with his interface, and won’t be in a hurry to seek out an alternative base.

They will however, have an unhealthy obsession with one or more of the following mythical beings:

  • Rei from Evangelion
  • 7 of 9
  • Princess Leia
  • Starbuck

Since he’s never going to get laid with any of them though, you should regard these as harmless fantasies, and they may even lead to…

More Fun in the Bedroom

Your geek has probably spent hours on the internet exploring every possible facet of his sexuality watching a lot of pR0n, so if you have a geek that’s open about it then you can always be sure to find something to guarantee fun. You might want to be open to the naughty side yourself though, or be in for a shock when things go down below.

At the very least embrace his kinky side, and keep a healthy collection of sci-fi costumes supplied. Slip into one of these anytime you need to a send an intra-person control message (ICPM) of “I want sex now”, and I guarantee a 100% error-free transmission rate, (wow)!

date a geek

[OK I’ll admit it, 4 of those costumes DO do it for me and I have had girlfriends who dressed in at least one of them for me at Halloween]

You-Time

It’s likely that at numerous times in your relationship, your geek will become 100% absorbed in a new video game, surrounding himself with chips and dip. Don’t worry about leaving him alone sometime, geeks are expert hunter gatherers – in their prime. They use the power of logic, Google maps, and PayPal, to find and locate daily essentials within their locale. Unlike your typical man who drives around for hours yet ends up buying beer, the geek knows exactly what he needs and what it is near. Don’t feel guilty about using this time to get out more – your geek is simply being hardcore.

Is It Worth it?

Dating a geek will require you to have a wild side, but it’s a dependable and fulfilling ride. You’ll end up understanding an unhealthy number of four letter acronyms, and may even develop a keen interest in programming the next Sims. As long as you can handle long periods of hardcore gaming and more or less no social contact ever, your geek will ultimately serve you well, and leave you never. So what are you waiting for? Upgrade now!

Image Credit: ShutterStock 1, ShutterStock 2

And of course Leprechaun/Irish/Dotcom millionaire Geek boyfriends are preferred!

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If all the porn sites went dark for a day, I guarantee the
politicians would rethink their stance on SOPA.

Congressmen Who Received Money for their SOPA Vote

Here is a list of Congressional politicians in favor of the bill known as SOPA and PIPA and the amounts of money they received from the SOPA backers who bought their favor in voting yes for both bills.

The Winners are:

Money Received from Pipa Sponsors:

Sen. Charles Schumer [D, NY] $864,265
Sen. Harry Reid [D, NV] $665,420
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand [D, NY] $556,525
Sen. Barbara Boxer [D, CA] $544,424
Sen. Patrick Leahy [D, VT] $416,250 (head sponsor of pipa btw)
Sen. Michael Bennet [D, CO] $347,406
Sen. Roy Blunt [R, MO] $341,700
Sen. Robert Portman [R, OH] $337,525
Sen. Richard Burr [R, NC] $275,950
Sen. Patty Murray [D, WA] $272,750

Money Received from Sopa Sponsors:

Sen. Harry Reid [D, NV] $3,502,624
Sen. Charles Schumer [D, NY] $2,648,770
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand [D, NY] $2,080,651
Sen. Barbara Boxer [D, CA] $1,431,843
Sen. Scott Brown [R, MA] $1,364,872
Sen. Robert Portman [R, OH] $1,363,009
Sen. Patrick Toomey [R, PA] $1,291,744
Sen. Michael Bennet [D, CO] $1,019,172
Sen. Mark Kirk [R, IL] $911,296
Sen. Patrick Leahy [D, VT] $905,310

Who sold themselves out, and who sold the justice system down the river for money.
These are the political whores who took money, to support the most damaging bills that would put control of the global internet into the hands of the Hollywood directors.

Get the money out of politics. Vote out these people is the one way to clean house and clean out the corruption out of this government.

 

Political Whores for SOPA- PIPA

Read more:
http://www.politicolnews.com/congressmen-who-received-money-for-sopa-vote/#ixzz1k70OcdXN>

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Chuck Norris endorses Newt Gingrich, could be the new ‘Secretary of Attack’

You’ve probably been waiting for this news and you didn’t even know it: Chuck Norris has announced his endorsement in the GOP primaries.

image The “Walker, Texas Ranger” star writes on the conservative website World Net Daily that he’s supporting Newt Gingrich‘s campaign for the Republican presidential nomination.

“We believe Newt’s experience, leadership, knowledge, wisdom, faith and even humility to learn from his failures (personal and public) can return America to her glory days,” Norris writes. “And he is the best man left on the battlefield who is able to outwit, outplay and outlast Obama and his campaign machine.”

Gingrich responded in the most amazing way possible. The candidate wrote on his Twitter, “Honored to have Chuck Norris’ endorsement. He will make an excellent Secretary of Attack.”
Can that please be a real thing? Because we all know that regardless of who wins the election, Norris gets that gig in a heartbeat.
And now, because we can’t write a post about Chuck Norris without a fun Chuck Norris fact, here you go: Voldemort calls Chuck Norris “You Know Who.”

 

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Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.

A: So what’s your question?
Q
?: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
?
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q
?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.


 

“ESTROGEN ISSUES”

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES”
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You ‘re using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving”.
6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from “outer space.”
9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats’ facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
7. So many clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

 1. OTHER WOMEN

!cid_1_2320537967@web36904_mail_mud_yahoo

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A lot of people are starting to complain how early the Election Year coverage and hype has started. Honestly it did start before Election Year even arrived and granted well before the usual season.  However lets keep something in mind shall we: 

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‘nuff said about that right there.

SPEAKING of media and information coverage…

“If you can be told what you can see or read, then it follows that you can be told what to say or think.”

Hmmmmm…

 

Apparently the Ministry of Truth doesn’t even have any humans in it any longer only algorithms!

“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought?”

George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 5

 

Closing Fine Soft Day

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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One Response to Leprechaun Laughs # 125 for Wednesday 1/25/12

  1. Will Loze my attempt at spamming you says:

    Heya! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 3gs! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the outstanding work!

    Gee Will, if you had an iPhone 4 you might have had better luck with the spamming attempt Mr. Lose(r) – Lethal (to Spammers) Leprechaun.

  2. impishdragon says:

    Wow. I never looked at the internet and google, etc, in quite that way before (Your TED video in your parting shot). That is an extremely important point to make. So, the question becomes, where do we go for a truly honest search? Thanks my friend. You’ve given me something to really think about.
    Cheers,
    Impish

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