From The Desk of Lethal Leprechaun – An Impish in Hiding Update


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Lethal here again folks

Today I am coming to you from my offices at my law firm, Dewy, Cheatem, Griftem and Howe, rather than my usually offices at the DragonLaffs Corporate HQ. As there has been a bit of a development. As you know I said I would keep you updated on Impish’s situation as events warranted. Well I never would have suspected that the event warranting the update would have been an actual warrant for his detention!

Let me explain, as you know until we could figure out just who and why Impish was snatched I had him doing a forced imitation of Carmen Sandiago in an attempt to keep him hidden and safe. As you might have also garnered from the last update my staff and I were not with out our suspicions based on where Impish had re-emerged into this realm as to who it was behind his being dragonnapped.

This morning at the same time my law offices were receiving what you see below by official Gargoylegram messenger, identical copies appeared in every town in every country in the 5 realms, 2 dozen or so assorted dimensions and stuck to the outside of DragonLaffs HQ. IF its a little hard to read I DO apologize but please keep in mind the originals are on some sort of skin (what kind I do not want to consider) and were scribed with a Dragon claw suitable resharpened for use as a quill!

Dragon Charges 1

 

Dragon Charges 2

 

Dragon Charges 3

 

Now Queen Tiamat is not someone or something to be trifled with. She is considered among the eldest of the Elder Fae and even most of the Elder Fae and Elder Gods grant her due deference and generally try not to incur too much of her wrath or displeasure. When she is offended or in a snit and displeased, a rabid PMSing badger on crack would win a most cuddly contest next to her.

In short this writ pretty much took away all my remaining wiggle room, all my Irish inspirations, left handed leprechaun legal tricks, Gaelic Grifts and Celtic chicanery options went right out the window faster than Impish after an Ice Cream Truck.

At noon today as an officer of both the Fae and Mortal courts armed with the power of and under the compulsion of this  Writ, in the name of the Court of Queen Tiamat, Queen and Mother of All True Dragonkind I placed Impish Dragon under arrest. Discussions of the logistics and timing of pending arrangements for extradition to the Realm of Dragons are currently under way but not likely to be completed until some time mid next week at the soonest.

NOW BEOFRE YOU COMMENCE THE THROWING OF ROTTEN FRUIT AND SHOES!

1.) I had no choice I was out maneuvered and left without a single option. I have been at least two steps behind the entire situation. I finally caught up to one step behind but it was too late even then. The Writ came through very early this morning but I did not arrest Impish until noon because we were hard at working looking for loopholes and options. I plain ran out of time when I got word that someone one the safe island was attempting to contact Tiamat and negotiate for a reward for Impish’s location

2.) IF I had not arrested him myself someone that was not his friend would have. Impish probably would have resisted the attempt. At best one or both of them would have gotten hurt, possibly seriously and Impish would be looking at additional charges of assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. At worse one or the other would be dead and Impish might be charge with Murder of an Officer of the Court. Regardless of the outcome of the other charges that is an automatic death sentence.

3.) Arresting him myself and my subsequent instructions to him to plead to be held in an Accorded Neutral Territory facility pending trial based on his mistreatment and harsh imprisonment conditions the last time around meant that I could at least chose a place where he would be safe(r), better  cared for and more comfortable. It also allowed me to choose a location of one of the few people who might tell Queen Tiamet to bugger off and kiss her own bloody arse over any further demands she might be inclined to make and well as give me time to try and negotiate for the hearing and trial to be held someplace both Impish and I might feel safe and secure (definitely NOT Queen Tiamat’s realm or court).

Tis off then I am to bury a Dragon Queen under a blizzard of pretrial motions and to kiss some major Elder God tushe in the hopes of saving not only my but my biggest billable client and bestest bud’s life. I’m sure despite advice to the contrary not to try the case in the court of public opinion Impish will have a few thoughts on this development tomorrow ( another advantage of my arresting him was placing him someplace he could still work and post from)

I’ll update as soon as another “other shoe” drops.

Irish TExan Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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4 Responses to From The Desk of Lethal Leprechaun – An Impish in Hiding Update

  1. Ginny says:

    Lethal just don’t let the Queen get to you! How’s the water situation by you? Get to higher grounds and saved yourself and your computer….

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Ginny the water got up to the point where my patio was underwater right up to my slider (But fortunately not over the track for it) which is close enough to make me worry about the possibility of wet carpets while it was raining but quickly receded once it stopped. That’s the good news.

      The BAD news is that it is starting to look like yet once again, my laptop is showing indications of a motherboard level video failure. Since this will mark the 3rd return and repair event while it is under warranty I am hoping to persuade HP to declare this a lemon and give me a different better laptop for my troubles as three times inside of 18 months with 3 motherboard failures tends to indicate the motherboard itself is a garbage design.

      OF course if anyone has a spare current model 15″ or larger Dell or Alienware Lap top with at least 4 gig of memory they’d like to contribute (yeah RIGHT! whats the chances of THAT?) to replace this nightmare I’m using it would be gratefully accepted.

  2. paul says:

    can we contact Guido and have a hit put out on the Queen??

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Paul while I like where your head is at the truth is that were I to make that inquiry Guido would either laugh at me and say “No seriously Dude who do you need whacked” or out right whack me out of a reflex self preservation instinct for even suggesting it.

      I’m hoping to get Daniel Webster to sit second chair on this cause Impish is looking like he’s in serious need of his own dream team to get off from this one.

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