Leprechaun Laughs # 95 for Wednesday 07/27


image

Welcome to Wicked Wednesday

S2_Wednesday_4

Yup we’re knee deep in the midweek middens they call Wednesday again. Before we get started I’d like to thanks those who took the time and effort to leave comments of support regarding the changes to Leprechaun Laughs or who sent me supportive e~mails.

Several voiced the opinion that Molly had the right of things regarding the rants and the soapbox. You really need not tell me that not only do I know when she is right, she frequently reminds me she is always right.

Let me just say that while the support is much appreciated some helpful suggestions for features or new sections would be greatly appreciated.

Short of fathering a love child on Impish or lavishly praising Obama I think at this point I’ll consider most any non~liberal feature suggestions.

Now, Lets Be On Our Wicked Way!

Evil Latte

Somebody is spending too way much time on not handing me my coffee!

 

A NEW TOOL AT ACE HARDWARE……….

FOR ALL of YOU TOOL NUTS …..

here’s a great present.

I just bought this new gauge from Ace hardware.

It takes a while to learn all the settings but I’m pretty

handy and was patient, so I figured it out eventually.
You know for sure with this gauge, there is no more guessing!
Ace Hardware……A man’s toy store………

image_thumb21

image_thumb51

It’s just so much fun to use. I really love it!!!

A guy just can’t own too many tools.

Just one more reason Ace is the place for me!

image_thumb47

A Wish To Live Forever

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.
(Mainly because she was caught red handed thieving me fairie dust supply)
“I want to live forever,” said I.

“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”

“Fine,” said I, “then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses.”

“You crafty bastard Lethal,” said the fairy.

image_thumb50

 

 

boobs 6

 

boobs 1

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking o’ Boobs~  Seems out favorite one ran amuck down here in Texas last time he visited, As usual antics have caused him to ran afoul of the Texas Rangers and now his likeness is plastered all over the post offices down here.

wantedposter

wantedposter2

Begorrah! ‘Impersonating a Comedian’. ‘ Crimes Against Humor, ‘Excessive Use of Puns’, and ‘Virgin Rustling’ with those charges I’d be lucky to get him a quick cremation and scatter of the ashes to prevent his remains from being defiled after his execution!

Good thing they can’t find him to take him into custody. $10,000 a ton reward too and he’s been packing it on of late too. I wonder if that’s the same reward for all or if they are cumulative? Maybe I can get him to make some remarks that could be taken as liberal criticism of Texas? An additional charge of “Messin’ With Texas’ would see that reward jump to $25,000 easy.

You folks read on I have to go find that book I bought long ago on legal ethics and see if turning him in for the reward conflicts with my representing him This might take a while.

Barrier

 

OK ‘tis true we’ve run this once at least once before but a long time ago ‘twas and some things people are able to do are just so amazing as to bare reshowing occasionally without complaints.

THE HUMAN CAMERA

Once you see this, you will be blown away. If you have never seen this before, you are in for a treat.
Some of us wonder what is the best computer in the world. It has to be the Human Brain.

Truly unbelievable.

This amazing artistic autistic!!! Holy cow, how could anyone do this? Shouldn’t he be working for the CIA? Can you imagine his value to an organization like the CIA in the days before satellite cameras and other now common spy technologies?

Beautiful Minds: Stephen Wiltshire

 

 

Dumb Stuff

Man wakes after 21 hours in morgue fridge

JOHANNESBURG — A South African health official says a man awoke to find himself in a morgue fridge — nearly a day after his family thought he had died.

Health department spokesman Sizwe Kupelo said Monday that the man awoke Sunday afternoon, 21 hours after his family called in an undertaker who sent him to the morgue after an asthma attack.

Kupelo says the man started yelling, prompting morgue workers to run away in fear. They eventually returned and removed him from the fridge. He was then taken to a nearby hospital and later discharged by doctors who deemed him stable.

The mortuary owner says his family is very happy to have him home.

Kupelo urged South Africans to call on health officials to confirm that their relatives are really dead.

First of all why am I wholly unsurprised this happened in So. Africa?

Secondly, I can’t believe this guy can, with a straight face, call the person who sent this poor fella to the morgue a ‘health official’ Even witch doctors should be able to find a pulse or hear a heart beat!

 image_thumb62

From an old Frank Sinatra T.V. Show- Crazy Diver

If you’ve never seen it, you’re in for a treat.

If you have, you get to see it again.

Watch it Here

Sign of the Times Scrolling

image

 

CT Think Its Hot here

{FYI: Prospective wise~ Torrington is in NW Connecticut where the Heat Index made a record 105}

 

So a big part of the US is currently in the middle of a very nasty heat wave. That means it’s going to be gettin hot in here, So in the spirit of staying cool ladies take off all your clothes. (What’s that? No Impish I’m not talking to you, you put some on please!)

Whoa, Nelly! I’ve got to invest in wrinkle and cellulite cream manufacturers I can see that!

The Top 5 Unexpected Consequences of the Extreme Heat

5> Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt start scoping out potential orphans in Antarctica.

4> Now that the tar is already boiling, feathers are the only thing needed for Casey Anthony.

3> The Wax Museum’s Anthony Hopkins now looks like Winston Churchill.

2> New video circulating online shows Kim Kardashian deep-throating a fire hydrant.

 

and The Number 1 Unexpected Consequence of the Extreme Heat…

1> Al Gore’s new crisis: Global Chafing

[ Copyright 2011 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]

 

Dear-Blank--Comic-Book_thumb34_thumb

Dear fan,
I realize I shouldn’t jump on my bed, but seriously, violence is not the answer!
Sincerely, that hurt!

Dear hammer,
We found out you were banging ALL of us. You definitely have some explaining to do.
Sincerely, the nails.

Dear Disney,
So let me get this straight… You hire Miley Cyrus and she becomes a slut, hire Demi Lovato, she becomes depressed and addicted to drugs, and now Selena Gomez is a lesbian…WTF are you doing to them?!
Sincerely, concerned.

Dear human,
The dead rodent wasn’t a gift, it was a warning.
Sincerely, your cat.

Dear Google,
How about you let me finish what I’m typing before you start guessing after the first letter.
Sincerely, a little cocky aren’t we?

Dear whoever came up with the phrase “son of a bitch”,
Isn’t that basically just a puppy?
Sincerely, that’s the best insult you could come up with?

Dear six year old sister,
Yes, babies do come from UPS.
Sincerely, that should work for now..

Dear silence,
You may be golden, but I’m silver
Sincerely, duct tape.

Dear boys who complain about PMS,
Let me know when you have blood coming out of your penis and we’ll talk.
Sincerely, girls everywhere.

Dear restrooms,
Your automatic toilets, sinks, soap dispensers, and paper towel dispensers mean nothing when I have to touch the door handle when leaving.
Sincerely, I need to wash my hands again.

Dear girl I dislike,
It’s not that I hate you, I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.
Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear cleaning supply commercials,
Please stop showing mothers who just smile and laugh when their children make huge messes. You’re being completely unrealistic.
Sincerely, my mother would have killed me.

Dear “two wrongs don’t make a right”,
LIES. Everyone knows a negative times a negative equals a positive.
Sincerely, nice try though.

Dear shower,
I love how hot you get when I turn you on.
Sincerely, a satisfied showerer.

Dear officer,
No, my speech isn’t slurred. I’m just talking in cursive.
Sincerely, not as think as you drunk I am.

image_thumb117

The $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be
when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United
States .
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So
I asked her, “If you were President, what would be the first thing you
would do?” She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless
people… “
Her parents proudly beamed. “Wow…what a worthy goal,” I told
her. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. Tell
you what – you can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds,
and sweep my driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to
the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him
the $50 to use toward food and a new house. How about doing something
wonderful like that?”
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me
straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over
and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”
I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”
Her parents still aren’t speaking to me

image_thumb120

Impish is going to be SO disappointed!

barcode.php

Myth-Busted_thumb1

Internet Security Myths – Demystified


Although most computer users are aware of online threats, Internet security risks, and how to stay safe online, there are still many misconceptions. Can you separate fact from fiction?

Myth #1: I have security software, so I’m safe to click anywhere online

Truth: Security software protects your computer from threats and helps you stay safe as you surf the web, but it can’t protect you against tactics like social engineering scams, where scammers trick you to download a malware, or trick you into revealing personal or financial information.

According to a recent report by Sophos, the majority of infected sites are websites that you trust and visit almost daily. Hijacked trusted sites represent more than 83% of malware hosting sites.

Myth #2: Once software is installed on your computer, you do not have to worry about it anymore.

Truth: Vendors may release updated versions of software to address problems or fix vulnerabilities. You should install the updates as soon as possible; some software even offers the option to obtain updates automatically. Making sure that you have the latest virus definitions for your anti-virus software is especially important.

Myth #3: When computers slow down, it means that they are old and should be replaced.

Truth: It is possible that running certain programs on older computers could lead to slow performance. However, another possibility is that there are other processes or programs running in the background. If your computer has suddenly become slower, it may be have been compromised by malware or spyware, or you may be experiencing a denial-of-service attack. Make sure your anti-malware solution is up-to-date, and then run a scan to see if anything if lurking on your PC.

Myth #4: Attackers only target people with money and companies.

Truth: Anyone can become a victim of identity theft. Attackers look for easy prey where they can get the biggest reward for the least amount of effort, so they typically target home users, whose PC’s are easier to break into than big corporations.

Hackers often also attack databases that store information about many people. If your information happens to be in the database, it could be collected and used for malicious purposes. It is important to pay attention to your credit information so that you can minimize any potential damage.

Myth #5: There’s nothing important on my computer that a hacker would want.

Truth: Your opinion about what is important may differ from an attacker’s opinion. If you have personal or financial data on your computer, attackers may be able to collect it and use it for their own financial gain. Perhaps your resume is saved on your hard drive, listing your name, address, and your work experience etc. That’s exactly the type of information you need when you apply for a credit card – making it very valuable to identity thieves.

Even if you do not store that kind of information on your computer, an attacker who can gain control of your computer may be able to use it in attacks against other people.

And contrary to popular belief, it is easier to hack into a computer than you may think. You don’t have to be a computer genius. Hacking tools are readily available online and can be downloaded in a few minutes. They even come with directions.

Myth # 6: Only naive users get hit by viruses and spyware.
Truth: Even if you are a computer expert you may fall victim to a cyber attack. Many malware attacks happen silently without any user involvement or user action, other than visiting an infected site. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what level of computer expertise you may have – anyone can be hit by a virus.

Protect yourself
Be smart about what websites you visit and where you click – keep your guard up when surfing the web – and protect yourself and your PC. Install an anti-malware solution, such as Ad-Aware, to protect against viruses, spyware and many other cyber threats.

For more information on cyber-security, please visit http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/tips/

[taken from LavaSoft News]

Amazing Lookalikes

A look-alike is a person who closely resembles another person.

image_thumb74

image_thumb78

image_thumb82

image_thumb86

image_thumb90

image_thumb94

image_thumb98

image_thumb102

image_thumb110image_thumb106

Patrick McMahon and Michael O’Shea bumped into each other on St. Stephen Green on the streets of Dublin, Ireland. Said O’Shea to McMahon, “Have ye seen ol’ Fogarty lately, Pat?”
Pat replied, “Well, I have, and then again I haven’t.”
O’Shea then asked, “Well, tell me now, McMahon, and what d’ye mean by that, ye have and then again ye haven‘t?”
“Well, Mick,” replied Patrick McMahon. “It’s like this. Ye see…I saw a chap who at first I thought was Fogarty. Then he saw a chap that he thought was me.”
“But, when we got up ta one another…it wasn’t neither of us.”

image_thumb144

And all this time I thought Hagar was a Viking not an Irishman!

 

3enCZX1311524804

Here’s another good reason to wear clean skivvies….

First-rule-of-Kilt-wearing_thumb2

Leprechaun Laffs Close 1

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Leprechaun Laughs # 95 for Wednesday 07/27

  1. Dan from NYC says:

    Good basic information on computer security today. As usual I’ll throw in my two cents.

    Myth #1: I have security software, so I’m safe to click anywhere online –
    Additional Truth: Anti-virus is only as good as it’s definitions being up to date and even then there are constantly new hacks, bots and attacks being dreamed up every day. Some even from apparently legit update notices. That said, the words of Sgt. Esterhouse ring eternally true, “Hey! Be careful out there!”

    Myth #2: Once software is installed on your computer, you do not have to worry about it anymore.
    Additional Truth: Do not update your software from an email link. If you receive an update notice in your inbox treat it as a potential scam. Most legit programs have a ‘check for updates’ link in the program. Use that instead.

    Myth #3: When computers slow down, it means that they are old and should be replaced.
    Additional Truth: In addition to the above it is highly recommended to unplug the power source and open the computer case and kill the dust bunnies that build up there. Every nook and cranny should be blown out. Don’t forget the power supply box and the fans! Dust acts as an insulating blanket and heat is not your friend!

    Myth #5: There’s nothing important on my computer that a hacker would want.
    Additional Truth: Being on the internet (internets if you’re Al Gore) is like being in the middle of Times Square on a Saturday night with a bullhorn. There is NO PRIVACY EVER NOT EVEN A LITTLE. Just because you delete something don’t count on it not being stored on a server, it is. So how is it that people have no qualms about going on Facebook and using their real names and then posting their birthdays? Forget that you are connected with relatives some of which may well supply your mother’s maiden name. Why not just completely bend over and put up your SSN as well? One more time, “Hey! Be careful out there!”

    Myth # 6: Only naive users get hit by viruses and spyware.
    Additional Truth: Amen & Hallelujah. You can have every filter, wall, blocker, etc. out there and still get nailed. The black hats are constantly building smarter mice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s