Leprechaun Laffs # 87 for Saturday 07/09


Shared Delusional Reality

LL WHo You GOnna Call No Dragon Handy

 

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Some idiot philosopher once said :

Virtue is its own reward; good will be rewarded (and evil punished).
 

Then there the whole  Isaiah 57: 21-22 Bible thing about

20: But the wicked are like the raginge see, that ca not rest, whose water fometh with the myre & grauel.
21 Eueso ye wicked haue no peace, saieth my God.

(or in King James English: There no rest for the wicked)

Well here’s proof of that – I’m stuck doing Saturday’s issue while the Dragon is off making merry at a family wedding. His hastily scribbled memo says something about sinful? Sluty?Saucey? Maybe its Sexy? Saturday being his theme.

(Wiping his mouth and crumpling the memo) Eh who cares I’m here he’s not, if he was worried about it he could have written it clearly. Tell you what I’m just going to continue on like I was yesterday, irascible, irreverent, rowdy and rambunctious. How’s that sound?

ALL IN FAVOR? That’s about what I thought but for proforma sake… ALL OPPOSED? HEY! WHO LET THEM DAMNED HOLY ROLLERS IN HERE? THROW THEM OUT OR SHOW THEM TO IMPISH’S HARIM IF THE QUALIFY!

AND NOW ON WITH THE LACIVITY AND LAUGHTER!

 

Capture F

 

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,
“I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!”
“Oh, no! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you
look less attractive.”
“I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat!”
“Oh, no! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes
you look larger than you really are.”
“I also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on
his dick!”
“Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his
dick!”

Leprechuan's Library

Broetry

(Thanks to my own dear sweet Molly for POINTING ME TO this one)

As contemporary poets deliver entire volumes on subjects like incest, menstruation, and pine cones, regular guys are left scratching their heads. Who will speak for Everyman? Who will articulate his love for Xbox 360, for Mama Celeste’s Frozen Pizza, for any movie starring Bruce Willis?
Enter Broetry—a stunning debut from a dazzling new literary voice. “Broet Laureate” Brian McGackin goes where no poet has gone before—to Star Wars conventions, to frat parties, to video game tournaments, and beyond. With poems like “Ode to That Girl I Dated for, Like, Two Months Sophomore Year” and “My Friends Who Don’t Have Student Loans,” we follow the Bro from his high school graduation and college experience through a “quarter-life crisis” and beyond. Packaged in a small gifty hardcover and illustrated with tasteful black and white illustrations, Broetry is a funny and sly look at modern masculinity.

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here’s one of Brian’s broems that you won’t find in the book. A haiku.

Airport Dating Service

They should sit single
guys next to hot single girls.
Maybe charge extra.

Hardcover, 128 pages  Published July 5th 2011 by Quirk Books

ISBN 159474517X (ISBN13: 9781594745171)

Available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Barrier

Riddle of the Day

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn’t have one.

The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Obama is one.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.

What is it?

Answer below!

The answer is: ‘A Last Name.’

You didn’t think I’d send you a dirty joke, on Impish’s watch did you?

laughing chimp_thumb[1]

Well OK I WOULD but Impish made me promise more or less  to restrain myself in his absence since I AM standing in for him after all.

I’ve “peeked” at a few in my lifetime (Ok so more than a few) ~~~ But this is the first time I ever  had one peek back at me….

!cid_part1_02000707_01000205@verizon

What? I DID say he made me promise “more or less”…this is just some of “the less” part! Speaking of the less part here is a bit more of the less part so the women readers feel like they are being treated equally.

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No drooling on those 600 thread count sheets now!

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8 Career Mistakes of Superheroes

Written by: Matt Brownell 07/07/11 – 12:01 PM EDT

NEW YORK (MainStreet) — Superheroes such as Batman have to deal with everything from muggers to evil alien gods. But sometimes life can be more difficult outside the costume.

Most superheroes have to juggle their crime fighting with a legitimate job, but it’s a juggling act many find difficult. Various comic book superheroes have lost their jobs when their obligations to the greater good intruded on their careers. And others still have jeopardized their careers in ways that had nothing to do with fighting crime. It seems even supermen and women have bad days on the job.

Here are eight heroes who have made career mistakes, with sometimes disastrous results.

 imagePeter Parker (Spider-Man): Revealed his secret identity
Peter Parker has always had an awkward professional life. While he spent time as a high school teacher and scientific researcher, his most gainful employment has been as a photographer for the Daily Bugle — a New York tabloid that just so happens to consider Spider-Man public enemy No. 1.

This awkward dance comes to a head during the 2006 Civil War storyline, when Spider-Man decides to reveal his secret identity in support of an effort to make superheroes registered government employees instead of vigilantes. Parker’s boss, J. Jonah Jameson, doesn’t react well when he discovers that his sworn enemy has been drawing a paycheck from him for years and promptly fires Parker on the front page of the next day’s paper.

Take a lesson from Spidey: While honesty is the best policy, it’s sometimes better to keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your job.

Michael Jon Carter (Booster Gold): Trusted the wrong man

imageMost superheroes fight evil for the greater good and keep a day job to pay the bills. Booster Gold became a superhero because he wanted to become rich and famous, even going so far as to hire a manager and build a company around his personal brand. Unfortunately, his selfish and fame-seeking ways catch up with him when his manager, Dirk Davis, reveals himself to be part of a cult of evil robots. He drains Booster’s bank accounts and leaves him penniless, destroying the hero’s already poor reputation in the process.

The lesson? Be careful who you go into business with.

Clark Kent (Superman): Never at his desk
imageWhen you’re a reporter in the city of Metropolis, your job is simple: Report on the exploits of Superman. Unfortunately, Kent never seems to be around when the Man of Steel is fighting the latest villain above the streets of Metropolis, usually leaving fellow Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane to always get the big scoop. In fact, Kent has a bad habit of sneaking away from his desk at various points throughout the day without explanation.

Despite his constant truancy, Kent has established himself as a top-notch journalist, and the comic writers have generally played his workplace conflicts with editor-in-chief Perry White for laughs rather than as a serious plot point.

“Even if you go back to the old 1950s series with George Reeve, Perry White was always fuming because Clark Kent wasn’t around,” recalls comic book historian Mark Evanier. “Then he’d suddenly show up with the story.”

Jean-Paul Beaubier (Northstar): Might have used his powers to get ahead

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The occasional X-Man, who has the mutant power of super speed, is probably best known for being one of the most prominent openly gay superheroes in comics. But before the French-Canadian mutant became a superhero, he had a burgeoning career as downhill skier, where he won various medals in professional competition.

Years after retiring from skiing to become a full-time superhero, Northstar is participating in an exhibition race when he is forced to reveal his secret identity to save a young girl’s life. Upon discovering that the famous skier is a super-fast mutant, spectators question whether he’d ever used his powers to cheat in competition. Northstar admits that he may have subconsciously used his powers without realizing it, and later relinquishes his medals. While he had already ended his professional career, any hope of returning to the sport is crushed.

Tony Stark (Iron Man): Drinking on the job
imageIt’s not easy juggling a superhero identity and a civilian job, especially when that job is running a multibillion-dollar corporation. In the 1979 “Demon in a Bottle” storyline, the stress of these dual identities finally starts to weigh on billionaire industrialist Tony Stark, who moonlights as armored superhero Iron Man. His constant drinking begins taking a toll on his professional life as owner of Stark Industries, and at one point he suits up as Iron Man while drunk, with predictably disastrous results.

His undoing comes when he drunkenly snaps at his loyal butler, Jarvis, who resigns from his position and sells his shares of Stark Industries stock on his way out the door. SHIELD, a United Nations spy agency that had long coveted Stark’s military technology, quickly buys up the shares to take a controlling stake in the company that Stark built. Seeing how his constant boozing has caused his life to unwind, Stark finally decides to lay off the sauce.

Nick Fury: Disobeyed orders

imageAs commander of SHIELD, Fury was responsible for combating superpowered threats in the Marvel Universe. But when the president of the United States refuses to sign off on military action against Latveria, a fictional country supporting superpowered terrorism, Fury takes matters into his own hands. He recruits a team of superheroes, sneaks into the country and strikes a crippling blow against Latveria’s government. He then mind-wipes the superheroes to keep his illegal actions a secret.

When the deposed Latverian leader retaliates a year later with an army of supervillains, Fury’s insubordination becomes public. Needless to say, Fury loses his job as top spy and is forced to go underground as a fugitive from the law. The lesson? Don’t disobey your boss, especially if your boss is the leader of the free world.

Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible): Assaulted his boss

imageThe former Mr. Incredible never quite took to his job as a claims adjuster for an insurance company, and was constantly in trouble with his boss due to his bad habit of actually helping clients get the insurance money they deserved. But the last straw came when Bob’s boss, Mr. Huph, prevents him from stopping a mugging taking place outside their office. The enraged Parr strangles his boss and throws him through several walls. Bob’s career in insurance comes to a swift end.

Shortly thereafter, Mr. Incredible makes another career blunder when he agrees to a series of freelance superhero jobs for an employer who turns out to be a supervillain. Some heroes just don’t take to the professional life.

Charles Xavier (Professor X): Endangered students

imageThese days, a public school teacher can be fired if he or she so much as breaks up a fight. So it’s probably a good thing for Professor X that he owns a private school and doesn’t have to answer for his actions. The telepathic mutant founded Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters ostensibly as a prep school, and while his teenaged students do get a top-notch educational experience, they’re also routinely sent into extremely dangerous situations as the X-Men.

Xavier’s habit of endangering his students’ lives eventually catches up to him, though. He steps down from his position as headmaster after a student body riot kills three students, and shortly thereafter it’s revealed that he had sent several previously unknown students to their deaths in a mission gone horribly wrong. The revelation furthers his alienation from the school he founded, and former prized pupil Scott Summers (Cyclops) now heads both the school and the X-Men.

It’s a valuable lesson for any leader: No matter how lofty and high-minded your goals, you still need to treat your followers with respect.

You catch that last part Impish? FYI: The boys in the Print and Mail Rooms was well as me self  happen to be EXTREMELY fond of Wedding Cake!

Mouse Pads For Guys To Help Avoid Carpel Tunnel Syndrome

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They even come with wrist wrest that ensure proper positioning!

That top one in white reminded me a classic commercial not seen in the US.

The one positive thing I will say about Canada is that they DO have some better commercials.

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Mowing the Lawn and Electric Fences.

(Thanks to reader Chuck for this one.)

We have the standard 6-ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.
Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had; made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8-ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.
One day I’m mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6-hp big wheel push mower… The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.
It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.
Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.
Time stood still.
The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.
It seems as though the fence charger and the piece-of-**** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.
Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you’re all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.
At this point I’m about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire.. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can’t let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences … but Dad always had those piece-of-**** chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.
This one I could not let go of. The 8-foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I’m thinking I’m going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. ‘Damn!,’ I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it.
Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest, I think ‘Oh God please die … Pleeeeaze die’. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner’s right foot.
So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day … he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.
I honestly don’t know how I got loose from the wire. I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.
Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).
3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sum***** now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because t was better than new after that.
7- My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long..
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don’t understand this???).
That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.
The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow

And now for another electrify cautionary tale….

Taser Test
2007 Urban Legend

Darwin says, “This story is an Urban Legend according to Snopes.com. Since it’s a phenomenal story of nearly-fatal poor judgment, it merits being included among the Darwinian Urban Legends.”

Dear Carl,

Last weekend I was at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn looking for a little something special for my wife, Renee. I came across a 100,000-volt pocket taser. Its disabling effect on an assailant was described as short-lived, with no long-term consequences, but would allow my wife–who would never consider a gun–adequate time to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL!!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed, but then I read (yes, I read the instructions) that if I pressed the taser against a metal surface and pushed the button at the same time, I’d see a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs, to verify that it was working.

Awesome!!!

I have yet to explain to Renee that new burn spot on the face of her microwave.

There I was, home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? I sat there in my recliner, reading the directions, my cat Gracie looking on intently. Trusting little soul. I got to thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second. She is such a sweet cat, but if I was going to give this device to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So there I sat in shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant, a two-second burst would cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control, and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. A burst longer than three seconds would be a waste of batteries.

I’m sitting there alone, with Gracie looking on, her head cocked to one side as if to say, ‘Don’t do it.’ But I was reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst, just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and…

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!

Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up from my recliner, and body slammed us both onto the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, tingling legs, nipples on fire, and testicles nowhere to be found.

SON-OF-A… That Hurt Like HELL!

If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, you should know that there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that taser until it is dislodged from your hand by your involuntary violent thrashing about on the floor.

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was relative at that point) I collected what wits I had left, sat up, and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there? My triceps, right thigh, and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it was shot up with Novocaine. My bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. And I’m still looking for my testicles!!

I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock,

Jacob

Seen at: http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1999-11.html

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Pillsbury Doughgirl!

In response to calls for sexual equity, Pillsbury recently added a new Pillsbury Doughgirl character to the well known Doughboy. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come to work this week because she had a yeast infection.

 

From THe Leps Pot O Gold_thumb[2]

NO! You STILL don’t get none o’ me ‘Brown Gold’ Coffee!

391 Places for Free Books Online

http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/50-places-free-books-online.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gizmosbest+%28Gizmo%27s+Best-ever+Freeware%29

<quoting the web site>

Introduction

This is a listing of 391 sites that legally offer free books (eBooks) for download or for online viewing.

Some time ago I went looking for some free eBooks and was surprised to find that there are many resources for this. I decided to put together this list of sites that offer free eBooks as a reference.

I have tried to make certain that all of the eBooks at these sites are legally available for viewing/downloading. However, it is possible that I have made a mistake. If you suspect any of these sites of illegally offering copyrighted materials, then please let me know through the comments below.

Putting this together was exhausting, but the list is not exhaustive, so I encourage you to post any sites that you know of that are not listed here.

The listing here is in alphabetical order. Given the size of this list now, it may be easier to search by genre. I have set up 16 pages here of different genres. If you do not see one that covers your interests, let me know and I may be able to put one together.

I have also put together a listing of sites that offer free and legal audio books at

<end site quote>

 

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You Know You’re Too Stressed If…

…relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
…you can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up.
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
…the Sun is too loud.
…trees begin chasing you.
…you can see individual air molecules vibrating.
…you begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
…you wonder if brewing is really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.
…you can hear mimes.
…you believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
…things become “Very Clear.”
…you ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
…you begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
…you keep yelling “STOP TOUCHING ME!” even though you are the only one in the room.
…your heart beats in 7/8 time.
…you and Reality file for divorce.
…you can skip without a rope.
…it appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
…you have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can’t quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
…you can travel without moving.
…antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
…you discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
…you begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.
…teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
…you have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

DL - Fantasy pics

wow-hot12

 

The teacher says, “Let’s discuss what your fathers do for a living.”
Mary says, “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts bad guys in jail.”
Jack says, “My Dad is a doctor. He makes all sick people better.”
The teacher says, to Little Johnny, “John, what does your Dad do?”
Johnny says, “My Dad is dead.”
She says, “I’m sorry to hear that. But what did he do before he died?”
Johnny says, “He turned blue and shit on the carpet.”

 

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We have sort of a triple Last Word Today. Something from me a response to something I wrote in Wednesdays Issue from a reader and finally what is apparently an article sent in by someone as a potential Last Word .

Regarding the issue of your rights both electronic and personal, I received a couple of yeah ok thanks but its not like you can’t trust the cops comments. Nay nay say I! I sent the links to those two posts to a legal friend of mine and ask them if they had any comments if we had left anything out or gotten anything wrong. I asked to be left out of the discussion for valid professional reasons however he DID forward me this quotation, the true author of which I have been unable to locate and he did not know.

“Because of what appears to be a lawful command on the surface, many citizens, because of their respect for what only appears to be a (the) law, are cunningly coerced into waiving their rights, due to ignorance.” ~ Author Unknown

You SERIOUSLY need to remember and keep 2 things in mind –  no joke.

  1. Ignorance of the law IS NOT a defense.
  2. It is NOT up to the police to educate you about your rights, protect those rights or educate you on the particular laws involved in your case, that what lawyers are for.

The police are legally required to advise you of CERTAIN rights you have (the Miranda Act) but that is IT. They are legally free to use any and every means in their power to arrive at the truth and/or a confession. This includes using your ignorance of the law against you and attempting to discourage you from exercising your rights.

Reader Response and Rebuttal

This from reader Dan-NYC regarding my Independence Day Last Word on the VA Cemetery Director and my subsequent Wednesday follow up on it covering the spontaneous Independence Day protest.

Lethal,

There may be reason for dismay but not because overall we don’t care but because you are preaching to the choir and we are all too familiaer with the overreach and abuse of authority.

The 1st amendment issues raised by the Ocasio diktat is run of the mill oppression by the likes of those who the Obamaites truly represent. There are so many examples and so many fronts that each locality has to raise their own hell. I’m not a religious person but do respect the fact that most folks are. I’ve been to many a Christian funeral and have never heard insurrection preached, only the hope of the salvation that they believe is in Christ Jesus.

The likes of Ocasio should be brought to court and sued for harm, damages and recourse by those affected by her personal interpretation of what is allowable speech. The BS that people like her try to impose despite the freedoms that are unalienable are indefensible.

I am disgusted by this kind of prohibitory action but that changes not a good God damned thing. Here in NY do you think a stern letter to Gillibrand or Schumer or Nadler will make a difference? These asswipes ARE the problem! There are organizations such as the ACLJ that specifically dedicated to these issues that affected parties can turn to and should.

There is a hope that if we get rid of Obama and his ilk we’ll be marginally better off. The Republicans are also a huge part of the problem. The only thing they seem to stand for is an light version of the socialist agenda.

So then what outrage would satisfy? If we are blind idiots we’ll hope 11/2012 will change it all like some kind of magic eraser. That’s utter rotted stank assed morinic crap. Even if we held the ground in the executive, the Senate and the House to tear away every last shred of the crap that has been fisted on us since 2008 we would need to hold that ground and go back to LBJ’s, “Great Society” and tear that away from the American consciousness for the next 16 to 20 years at a minimum. Otherwise they’ll come along with some version of the hope & change illusion that was foisted on the idiotic gen pop to begin with. – Yes, a prison term for a captive group with no memory of anything political.

There are no messiahs in the realm of men. Were that the case we would be living under the illumination of the likes of Reagan or Eisenhower or even to some extent Kennedy. But that isn’t the cards we hold. We are the boob tube generation that thinks that the new and improved Tide detergent is actually either.

We, as a society, will have to crash and burn. There will have to be a generation removed from our’s that learn from within their own hearts and minds the the value of real freedom. Then they will sow the seeds of the next iteration. This one is dying on the vine.

Finally now lets hear from Ginny K9 who has been patiently awaiting her turn on the soapbox since last Sunday:

Earl Spicer

Obama: Where are his girl friends????? even his friends???
Where are his girl friends????? Strange that none have popped up!!!!
Strange to the point of being down right WEIRD!
OK… this is past the ‘birthers’ questions…. this is just plain old common sense, no political agendas for either side.
Just common knowledge for citizens of a country, especially American citizens, who even know that Andrew Jackson’s wife smoked a corn cob pipe and was accused of adultery, or that Lincoln never went to school or Kennedy wore a back brace or Truman played the piano.
We are Americans! We are known for our humanitarian interests and caring for our ‘fellow man.’ We care, but none of us know one single humanizing fact about the history of our own president.
Honestly, and this is a personal thing..but it’s niggled at me for ages that no one who ever dated him ever showed up.
The simple fact of his charism a, which caused the women to be drawn to him so obviously during his campaign, looks like some lady would not have missed the opportunity….
We all know about JFK’s magnetism, McCain was no monk, Palin’s courtship and even her athletic prowess were probed. Biden’s aneurisms are no secret. Look at Cheney and Clinton–we all know about their heart problems. How could I have left out Wild Bill before or during the White House?
Nope… not one lady has stepped up and said, “He was soooo shy,”
or “What a great dancer!” Now look at the rest of this…. no classmates, not even the recorder for the Columbia class notes ever heard of him.
I just don’t know about this fellow.
Who was the best man at his wedding? Start there. Then check groomsmen. Then get the footage of the graduation ceremony.
Has anyone talked to the professors? It is odd that no one is bragging that they knew him or taught him or lived with him.
When did he meet Michele and how? Are there photos? Every president gives to the public all their photos, etc. for their library. What has he released?
And who in hell voted for him to be the most popular man in
2010?????

Does this make you wonder?

Ever wonder why no one ever came forward from Obama’s past, saying they knew him, attended school with him, was his friend, etc. ?
Not one person has ever come forward from his past.
VERY, VERY STRANGE… This should really be a cause for great concern. To those who voted for him, you may have elected an unqualified, inexperienced shadow man.
Did you see a picture called The Manchurian Candidate?
Let’s face it. As insignificant as we all are…someone whom we went to school with remembers our name or face … someone remembers we were the clown or the dork or the brain or the quiet one or the bully or something about us.
George Stephanopoulos of ABC News said the same thing during the 2008 campaign.
He questions why no one has acknowledged the president was in their classroom or ate in the same cafeteria or made impromptu speeches on campus.
Stephanopoulos also was a classmate of Obama at Columbia –the B class of 1984. He says he never had a single class with him.
While he is such a great orator, why doesn’t anyone in Obama’s college class remember him? And, why won’t he allow Columbia to release his records?
NOBODY REMEMBERS OBAMA AT COLUMBIA Looking for evidence of Obama’s past, Fox News contacted 400 Columbia University students from the period when Obama claims to have been there, but none remembered him. For example, Wayne Allyn Root was, like Obama, a political science major at Columbia , who also graduated in 1983.
In 2008, Root says of Obama, “I don’t know a single person at Columbia that knew him, and they all know me. I don’t have a classmate who ever knew Barack Obama at Columbia … EVER!
Nobody recalls him. Root adds that he was also, like Obama, “Class of ’83 political science, pre-law” and says, “You don’t get more exact or closer than that. Never met him in my life, don’t know anyone who ever met him.”
At the class reunion, our 20th reunion five years ago, who was asked to be the speaker of the class? Me. No one ever heard of Barack! And five years ago, nobody even knew who he was. The guy who writes the class notes, who’s kind of the, as we say in New York, ‘the macha’ who knows everybody, has yet to find a person, a human who ever met him.”
Obama’s photograph does not appear in the school’s yearbook, and Obama consistently declines requests to talk about his years at Columbia, provide school records, or provide the name of any former classmates or friends while at Columbia …
NOTE: Root graduated as valedictorian from his high school, Thornton-Donovan School, then graduated from Columbia University in 1983 as a political science major in the same class in which Barack Hussein Obama states he was.
Some other interesting questions… Why was Obama’s law license inactivated in 2002?
Why was Michelle’s law license inactivated by court order?
It is circulating that according to the U.S. Census, there is only one Barack Obama but 27 Social Security numbers and over 80 aliases.

WHAT!?

The Social Security number he uses now originated in Connecticut where he is never reported to have lived.
No wonder all his records are sealed!
Please continue sending this out to everyone.
Somewhere, someone had to know him in school…before he “reorganized”
Chicago and burst upon the scene at the 2004 Democratic Convention and made us swoon with his charm, poise, and speaking pizzazz.
Keep this Going, Maybe someone will remember him.

HAd enough Change

DL CLosing

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   For ImpishDragon –

 

have_a_magical_day

 

DL - Lethal Lep Sig

Internet_Leprechaun

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to Leprechaun Laffs # 87 for Saturday 07/09

  1. Feucht says:

    Have you ever thought about creating an e-book or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog centered on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an email.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Well your translations from French to English are getting better Feucht, unfortunately your BS isn’t getting anymore believable.

      Your spam isn’t going to get in unedited while I’m on duty Feucht but I appreciate the opportunities to make fun of you!

      Telle est la vie, meurt inondateur meurt !

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