Leprechaun Laffs For Friday 07/08


LeprechaunLaffs Banner

coollogo_com-240041120

image

Maxine Adult Warning

 

relax-friday

O.K. apparently its official, I’m evil, beyond redemption and therefore I’m going to hell. At least that is according the the 2 e-mails I have gotten, the Jehovah’s Witnesses that have been to my door 3 different times this week and the 3 different Baptist groups holding traffic hostage where my side street empties out on to the main road for forced donations.

Since they all concur I am hell bound for engendering their wraith by refusing to submit to them my right to religious freedom I see no point in wasting any further time being good, at least for this issue. I’m going to react the exact same way I would when someone tries to force or blackmail me into doing something. I’m going to go over the top and to extreme excess in the exact opposite direction It’s Friday so I’m starting the weekend early and on a irreverent, rowdy and rude note ta boot!

If you are easily offend, particularly thinned skinned or religiously intolerant todays issue is DEFINITELY not for you. You’re safer and better off looking elsewhere for you morning chuckle today.

However if you are an unabashed sinner like me and as tired of the moral minority predetermining your chances in the hereafter because you refuse to listen to their narrow point of view yet wide open mouths or been verbally abused for refusing to contribute your money to their cause because you do not agree with them and are ready for an irreverent and adult good laugh please join me in making fun of an laugh at the hypocrisy of all religion read on!

ALL ABOARD! The Leprechaun Special Non-stop Express Hand Basket To Hell is leaving the station!!!

going-to-hell-twilight

SCROLL AND LAFF AT THE RISK OF YOUR SOUL!

Coffee Shark

 

image

 

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you.

To the first man the Lord asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The first man replied, “Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife.” The Lord replied, “Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The second man replied, “Lord, I cheated on my wife twice.” The Lord replied, “I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, “So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” The third man replied, “Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times.” The Lord replied, “I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. “Why are you crying?” the two men asked. “You got the mansion and limo!”

The first man replied, “I’m crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was CARRYING A TENT AND RIDING A SKATEBOARD!”

 

The Sign On Impish’s Office Door:

horny34534

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, ”You had a good idea to replace the
first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.”

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, ”And you told me adding a little
more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock ‘n roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.”

”Thank you, Father,” answered the young priest. ”I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.”

”All of these ideas have been well and good,” said the elderly priest, ”But I’m afraid you’ve gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.”

”But, Father,” protested the young priest, ”my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!”

”Yes,” replied the elderly priest, ”and I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, ‘Toot ‘n Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof!”

God & Jerks

 

DL Introspection Header

Annual Obesity Report: Connecticut is the 3rd thinnest state; Mississippi is the fattest state

By MARY CLARE JALONICK Associated Press  Published: Thursday, July 07, 2011

WASHINGTON (AP) — In 1995, no state had an obesity rate above 20 percent. Now, all but one does.
An annual obesity report by two public health groups looked for the first time at state-by-state statistics over the last two decades. The state that has the lowest obesity rate now — Colorado, with 19.8 percent of adults considered obese — would have had the highest rate in 1995.

The percentage of obese adults in all 50 states according to new report.

1. Mississippi 34.4
2. Alabama 32.3
3. West Virginia 32.2
4. Tennessee 31.9
5. Louisiana 31.6
6. Kentucky 31.5
7. Oklahoma 31.4
8. South Carolina 30.9
9. Arkansas 30.6
10. Michigan 30.5
11. Missouri 30.3
12. Texas 30.1
13. Ohio 29.6
14. North Carolina 29.4
15. Indiana 29.1
16. Kansas 29.0
17. Georgia 28.7
18. South Dakota 28.7
19. Pennsylvania 28.5
20. Iowa 28.1
21. Delaware 28.0
22. North Dakota 28.0
23. Illinois 27.7
24. Nebraska 27.6
25. Wisconsin 27.4
26. Maryland 27.1
27. Maine 26.5
28. Washington 26.4
29. Florida 26.1
30. Alaska 25.9
31. Virginia 25.9
32. Idaho 25.7
33. New Hampshire 25.6
34. New Mexico 25.6
35. Arizona 25.4
36. Oregon 25.4
37. Wyoming 25.4
38. Minnesota 25.3
39. Nevada 25.0
40. California 24.8
41. New York 24.7
42. Rhode Island 24.3
43. New Jersey 24.1
44. Montana 23.8
45. Vermont 23.5
46. Utah 23.4
47. Hawaii 23.1
48. Massachusetts 22.3
49. Connecticut 21.8
50. District of Columbia 21.7
51. Colorado 19.8

!cid_34E73B97-6C19-4F35-BA73-8154457B0248

At her father’s wake, a woman told her priest that ever since she was a child she and her father had discussed life after death. They had agreed that whomever went first would contact the other. They had discussed this again just two weeks before his death. He died in her home.
A few days after his death the smoke alarm in her garage went off. She had lived there 28 years and it had never gone off before. She couldn’t turn it off, so she called the security company that installed it.
The next morning the smoke alarm sounded again…and the reason finally dawned on her. She said aloud, “Ok Dad, I missed the signal yesterday, but I get it now! Thanks for letting me know that you are safe on the other side. Now turn the thing off so I don’t have to call the security company again.”
And it went off. She immediately called her priest to tell him the good news. The priest hesitated and then said, “Dear lady, if every time your father sends you a message, he sets off the smoke alarm, just where do you think he’s calling from?”

 

image

One day, there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look, and another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong.
“Well,” the first priest said, “have you ever heard of a Freudian slip?”
“No,” said the other.
“Well,” said the first, “it’s when one slips and says something one is thinking usually when it is the least opportune time.”
“Oh,” said the priest, “so, what happened?”
“Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part when you say ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’?” asked the first.
“Yes,” said the second.
“Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said was, ‘I now sentence you to death.'”

 

image

 

Leprechauns Libations 1

Might as well have a few drinks while we wait for the Hand Basket Express Shuttle to arrive! These drinks are perfect for “warmer temperatures and/or summer time!

Meloncello

Prep Time: 5 min   Level: Easy Serves: 1 drink

Ingredients

    Yellow or pink cocktail sugar or sanding sugar (sold at specialty stores), optional
    1 cup cubed seedless watermelon
    Ice cubes
    3 1/2 ounces limoncello
    1/2 ounce lemon-flavored or light rum
    Splash club soda
    Lemon wedge

Directions

Rim a rocks glass with the sugar, if desired, and put in the freezer. Puree the watermelon cubes in a blender until juicy.

Fill the prepped glass with ice. Add the watermelon juice, limoncello and rum. Top off with enough club soda to give the drink a light bubble. Garnish with the lemon wedge. Drink.

 

Honey Punch

Level: Easy

Directions

Dissolve 1/2 cup honey in 1/2 cup boiling water. Let cool, then pour into a pitcher; add the juice of 2 lemons, 2 cups apricot nectar and 1 cup vodka, if desired. Chill. Add a bottle of sparkling apple juice to the pitcher. Serve over ice with lemon slices.

 

Champagne Cocktails

Prep Time: 10 min  Level: Easy  Serves: 2 drinks

Directions

Combine 2 ounces each orange juice and raspberry liqueur (such as chambord) in a cocktail shaker. Fill with ice and shake well. Strain into 2 flutes and top with sparkling rose. Garnish with raspberries.

Both Martini & Rossi and Yellow Tail makes an affordable and easily obtainable sparkling rose.

image

 

Adult Content

adult content below

OK that’s  one warning at the beginning and TWO warnings in a row for this link if I have to explain more than that put your computer back in the box and take it back where you got it.

Sure Beats Solitaire

Guys ( ESPECIALLY Impish) will be playing this all day {Click below to start )

Match the Snatch

Didn’t like the link or my comments? Since it’s already been ordained by the rabidly self- righteous overly opinionated religious hypocrites here abouts I’m going to hell anyway, I have a graphic expressing my sentiment for that too.

1b_thumb

Is ‘religious humor’ an oxymoron?

November 19, 2002|Todd Leopold CNN  http://articles.cnn.com/2002-11-19/entertainment/religious.humor_1_religious-humor-religion-e-mail/2?_s=PM:SHOWBIZ

People take their religions very seriously.

Step over the line, and you invite lines — of picketers and protesters, letters to the editor, and in the worst-case scenarios, terrorists and suicide bombers.

Chicago artist Dick Detzner found that out first-hand when his painting, “The Last Pancake Breakfast,” was displayed in a suburban Chicago gallery.

image

The work depicts the icons of several breakfast products — Tony the Tiger, Trix the Rabbit, Quisp — surrounding a Jesus-posed Mrs. Butterworth in a parody of Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Last Supper.”

Very quickly, the painting was the center of a controversy.

“I’d shown the painting in Chicago and Champaign. People enjoyed it — there was no big fuss,” says Detzner. But when it hit the suburbs, “People petitioned the museum to have it removed. … I got tons of e-mail, with various forms of outrage.”

Robert Darden wishes it were otherwise. As the editor of The Door, “the world’s pretty much only religious humor and satire magazine” (as he describes it in an e-mail), he says religion needs humor if only to burst a few overinflated balloons.

“At its best, religious satire fulfills the Old Testament mandate to break down idols,” Darden says in an e-mail interview. “As a culture, we’re idol-makin’ fools — wealth, glory, prestige, power, personalities. … If fallible, wounded People of God resist that [mandate] — be it [idols such as] a Golden Calf or a golden-throat TV evangelist — then they’re doing themselves a grave disservice.”

Religion and humor have a checkered history. There are a few stories in the Bible, such as the story of Esther and the tale of Eutychus in the Book of Acts, that have humorous elements, and Darden mentions that Martin Luther was capable of funny asides.

Then there are the countless “rabbi, priest and minister” jokes, though many of them make fun of the messengers, not God or religion themselves.

Mostly because, in history in general, to laugh at religion was to invite harsh criticism, ostracism — or worse.

Darden refers to a 17th-century admonition that banned “games, sports, plays [and] comedies” because they didn’t agree with “Christian silence, gravity and sobriety.” The penalty wasn’t specified, but people have been killed for less throughout history.

Steve Lawler, an Episcopal priest who advises organizations on ethical questions, believes the humor-impaired are the ones that truly lack faith.

“Laughing at oneself and one’s own beliefs shows a kind of faith that escapes the literally minded,” he observes.

“The idea that there is a particular line to be drawn gets complicated right away. Who gets to draw the line? What happens to those who cross it? And, probably my biggest question — what are you so worried about?”

He notes that many religious festivals celebrate life-cycle events of the seasons and of human beings. Ironically, those festivals have sometimes been hijacked by people who miss the point of celebration, he says.

“These festivals have stories and activities that are meant for fun and for humor. It is the deficit of literalist and fundamentalist traditions that make the world less enchanted and more dour,” he says.

“They are proudly ignorant of their own histories and the practices of those others who have a stronger claim on the essential understanding of their tradition.”

Some religions seem to be more comfortable with humor than others. Mark Wallace, a professor of religion at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania, theorizes that Judaism and Catholicism tend to have rich traditions of humor, particularly in America, because of the marginalization of their immigrant communities.

“I think humor comes out of pain,” he says. Jewish and Catholic immigrants, who found it hard to climb the ladder in the United States early on, used their pain to make fun of their betters and themselves, he says.

Lawler also has an explanation of why America’s Protestant denominations have less of a humor tradition.

“If we look at the Calvinist form of religion that undergirds American civil religion, we can see why there is a lack of books on the humor of folks in those traditions,” he says. “Anti-emotion and anti-body, there goes the belly laugh.”

Are norms changing? In the Western world, Darden believes they are.

“We’ve seen a lot more films and TV shows dare to wade in the once-forbidden waters of religion and humor, ranging from [Kevin Smith’s film] ‘Dogma’ to the Church Lady to anything Jerry Falwell says,” he says.

“Today, pastors do feel more free than ever before to crack the occasional joke from the pulpit — for which we’re all so grateful that we generally laugh much louder than the little jape deserves.”

For his part, Detzner — who says he was raised Catholic — points out that he’s piercing the idols of commerce, not so much religion. He has a whole series of paintings he’s titled “Corporate Sacrilege.”

“If I were to try to skewer religion, they’d know it,” he says. “There are times I tell people, the only way I can take your complaint seriously is saying Jesus is a syrup bottle.”

Besides, humor reminds us that we’re human, says Lawler.

“I have done a couple hundred weddings in my life,” he says. “I have noticed the people standing before me doing one of four things: crying, being stone-faced and fearful, being sincere, and giggling.

“Too many of the humorless have loss the fullness of their humanity. They stand stone-faced and scared before God. The sad thing is that they think the rest of us should as well.”

coollogo_com-280865164

image

 

image

 

image

 

image

 

It is important for all of us — of all faiths — to recognize these four Religious Truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God’s chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
4. Southern Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or in the liquor store.

image

Why do Baptists object so strongly to pre-marital sex?

They’re afraid it might lead to drinking and dancing.

Two hundred Southern Baptists were stranded on Treasure Island in Disneyland Sunday night.

They refused to take the ferry.

Now the Southern Baptists are boycotting `The Flintstones’.

They absolutely refuse to have a gay ol’ time.

How many of Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

FORNICATION!  It’s a sin to screw anywhere, even in light bulbs.

image

A Fundamentalist Baptist Minister in Alabama, sorely tempted, finally propositioned the Choir director one night after practice, when they were alone in the Church.

“Where should we do it, Reverend?” she enthusiastically replied.

“Right here on the floor!” he panted.

“It’d be too cold.” she whispered. “How about standing up?”

“Good Lord, girl!  Have you taken leave of you senses?” he shouted.

“If anyone came in, they’d think we were dancing!”

image

You might be a Southern Baptist if:

– You think God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews.
– Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
– You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
– You think Jesus actually used Welch’s grape juice and saltine crackers.
– You think someone who says “Amen” while the preacher is preaching might be a Charismatic.
– You clapped in church and felt guilty about it all week.
– You are old enough to get a senior discount at the pharmacy, but not old enough to promote to the Senior Adult Sunday School.

image

Humm

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard, when suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After several hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate, the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.

recipe_divider

soul removed

Today’s Issue seem a bit….excessively irreverent? Harsh? Sour? Seem a little over the top even for my usual level of curmudgeonliness and sarcasm? Wonder what it is that has my knickers in a knot?

Don’t miss today’s last Last Word then where all shall be made clear!

recipe_divider

One day a man dies, who was a devout Christian. Saint Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and begins to give him a tour of Heaven. As the tour goes on, Saint Paul points out all the different Christians. “There’s the Catholics, there’s the Lutherans, the Methodists, the Presbyterians”, and so forth. As they come to this one group way off to themselves, Saint Paul motions for the man to come closer and whispers. “Now, for this next group, we need to be really quiet. They are the Baptists and they think they’re the only ones in Heaven.”

Bumper Snickers Logo3

Not Playing With a Full deck

image

image

image

BUmper BE An Asshole

image

 

The Catholic Church’s air conditioning broke down, so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure out what was wrong.
As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the altar, apparently saying her rosary. The man thought it would be funny to try and mess with the lady’s mind.
In his best authoritative voice, he said, “This is Jesus. Your prayers will be answered.”
The little old lady didn’t even blink, just kept on saying her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn’t hear him, and tried again. “This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers will be answered!”
Again, she didn’t react at all. Mustering up a big breath of air, the man decided to try again. “THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!”
The lady looks up and says, “SHUT UP! I’M TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!”

image

The Devil in Mr. Bean

 

The religious cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

 

dl you-aint_thumb2_thumb1

image

image

 

image

 

image

Well that goes a long way to explaining their justification for being so narrow minded!

image

Am I the only one concerned that it reads ‘that ass’ as opposed to her ass?

image

Some jokes are just too easy to even make!

image

and…

image

and…

image

leads us to…

image

Yeah well with all that tongue going on that’s not much of a surprise now is it?

image

Again They are Making It Too Easy For Me! Especially After All That Tongue Stuff Going On

image

WOW! he must be SERIOUSLY disappointed!

image

Oh I’d say they got their real message across just fine! Then again maybe that’s the problem with it!

image

My point EXACTLY!!

image

I’m confused… I thought Leviticus made it clear this type of thing was strictly forbidden.

image

He wasn’t really sick probably just as disgusted with his fan club as I am

image

Now THAT would be enough to frighten the HELL out of me for sure!

recipe_divider

Redneck Church

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if …

the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … when the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” four guys stand up.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … on the opening day of deer season the church is closed.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of”

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the choir is known as the “OK Chorale”.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … people think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized “Wheeling” washtub.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s Barbecue.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the collection plates are really hubcaps from a 1956 Chevy pick up truck.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if … “Thou shall not covet” applies to huntin’ dogs, too.

You know You’re in a Redneck Church if … the final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, Ya hear.”

image

 

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling.
For a time, no one said anything.Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behavior that made them squirm in their seats.
Finally, the banker said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?”
The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”

image

I see a frightening Obama parallel here

Good News / Bad News for a Pastor

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The women’s group voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The pastor-parish relations committee accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it that they asked the bishop to send a new minister capable of filling the position.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of the parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your community.
Bad News: He has been appointed as your conference bishop.

Good News: The youth of the church came to your house for a visit.
Bad News: It was in the middle of the night and they were armed with toilet paper and shaving cream.

Good News: The Church Council has agreed to send you to the Holy Land for study.
Bad News: They are waiting for war to breakout before sending you.

 

Pissed OFf Blog

 

GOING TO HELL

Apparently refusal to agree to any religious organizations beliefs immediately condemns you to their particular flavor of hell, especially if you are not one of “them” and refuse to hear their conversion pitch or are extremely rude to the bible toting Q-tip army when they pound on your door for 15 minutes at 7:45 on a Sunday morning to invite you to their Sunday Service because “they have “noticed” that for 4 Sundays straight you have not been out on Sunday morning in time for Services anywhere.

Capture Y

In addtion to the tings I outlined in my opening comments additonal I’ve gotten two e-mails this week, one from a religious nut case who is apparently local here to Houston as well as one from the Pastor of said nut case. I don’t know how many of you have read the “About Lethal Leprechaun bio blurb that appears (at least on the blog where you are SUPPOSED to be reading this) at the end of each blog. Well it contains a few honest comments like the following which apparently have sealed my fate as hell bound:

  • I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn’, causes the Devil to say “BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!”
  • as well as ( believing in) Arizona’s stringent law on Immigration.
  • I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots’ Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I’ll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center.
  • I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer.

The highlighted phrases were apparently religiously incendiary and offensive to this ‘saved again” individual. Which raises a question in my mind…’the phrase ‘saved again’ bothers and confuses me profoundly. Does that mean they were not saved correctly the 1st time? CAN they sue for religious malpractice? Some place down the line will a religious sect of those “saved yet again” pop up because they didn’t get it right this time either?

Of particular blasphemy apparently were my Pro-choice views and stance on the Southern Poverty Laws Center. These in the “Pastor’s view” apparently require (and no I am NOT joking) that I submit to the Preacher contact information for my over 70 and in poor health mother so that he might discuss my apparently religiously improper and deficient upbringing and warn her she is hell bound as well! It pains me unfortunately that I cannot under advice of council, local law enforcement and a fervent request from Moll,y as well as out of respect for Impish’s health (to say nothing of his shaky sanity) name names here as well as name the particular religious organization they belong to. Rest assured that this issue is being dealt with and swiftly via formal & official channels.

Don’t get me wrong I have my set of religious beliefs same as the next man and hold them as tightly and as dearly. I’ll grant you to some they may seem hard to understand and possibly, given the amount of partisan religious indoctrination (pronounce that brain washing) we are given as children, hard to accept but they are MINE and I have the exact same right to them as you do. In fact unless you have actually served in defense and protection of those rights I arguably have MORE right to them than you do!

The freedom to worship or not worship as you see fit and WITHOUT FEAR OF REPRISAL, coupled the right to free speech are IMHO two of the greatest things about the U.S.A. HOWEVER, I DO NOT hold to the notion that either of those give you the right to perpetually proselytize your religion in my face, harass and persecute me for refusing to tolerate this behavior, not accepting your religion into my life or gives you the right to pass your hypocritical final judgment on me. Likewise your self-righteous, self-superior narrow minded religious zealotry DOES NOT grant you the right to be a jackass about it, ignore common societal courtesy, and civil law or disregard consideration and respect for the privacy of others because “you are doing God’s work!”

Lastly it has not escaped my notice that the exact same people, having failed to forcibly convert me to their religion to control my way of thinking and the choices I make to match theirs with threats of hell and damnation now are seeking to meddle in our nations politics to achieve their ends. I say it has not escaped my notice but actually its been going on for a hell of a long time. The Pro-Life/Pro-Choice Issue is a campaigning politician’s nightmare and is capable of causing as quick a death for a campaign as the issue of Social Security reform which was once known affectionately as the “third rail”of US politics.

I think if religions are going to attempt to achieve their agendas by interfering in  our elections and lobbying Congress that we should return the favor and take away their tax exempt status and make them register as political interest groups and /or lobbies. I think their accounting books ought to be open to governmental inspections and audits and that they should be subject to the same labor laws, and taxes as any other business and/or charitable institution is.

I can hear them screaming already can’t you? “FIRST AMENDMENT!! SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!” In fact I am sort of reminded of an Editorial cartoon I ran some time ago regarding religions hypocrisy in a related area:

 

image

If you re-label the Atheist as  Congress and change the religious zealots words in the first picture to reflect all or all of the things they are constantly trying to force legislators to pass NOT because any of it is in the national interest but because they wish to impose their beliefs and values forcibly on others with total wanton disregard for any other belief systems and their values, I think you get the idea pretty clearly. Threaten to treat them the same as other special interest groups and political activists, they start screaming just like in the second picture and whining about the First Amendment.

Well I have news for them, the First Amendment DOES NOT SAY that government cannot make rules concerning religion OR REGULATING ITS BEHAVIOR! What it DOES say is that:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

I say either religion backs off and stops trying to Become our government AND THERE BY VIOLATE MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS or the rest of us are going to see that our Government in acts laws regulating the participation of religions, churches and their spokes people in our government process as well as laws which cause you to be treated just like every other corporate entity, special interest group or capitol hill lobby group!

I’m the (very livid) LethalLeprechaun and I say to the self-righteous, self-superior narrow minded religious zealots of the world:

Pug Mo Thoin

My religious beliefs and their practice are just that MINE! They are not subject to your scrutiny comment or judgment. This guaranteed me by virtue of my civil rights as defined in the Fist Amendment of the Bill of Rights. I respect your rights to your religion and beliefs now leave me and mine the hell alone!

DL Closing Credits

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Leprechaun Laffs For Friday 07/08

  1. Dan- NYC says:

    I’m just back from a vacation and catching up so a wee bit late in commenting. I share your views on the separation of church & state. I have a bit of a problem distinguishing them from the jihadists who want to do the same. Interestingly, the God they think they represent respects free will enough not to insist but leaves the option of following or not open. Or at least that’s what the Bible says.

  2. Dan Todor says:

    I can’t agree more … as the bumper sticker said, the fan club is .. :))

  3. Jack Daniels says:

    Best edition ever! Boil more missionaries.
    Jack Daniels

  4. lynn fux says:

    Lethal this issue is so spot on funny,it is good enough to worship it’s creator!!!!!! Well done,very very well done!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s