BEFORE WE GET STARTED LET ME ON BEHALF OF DRAGONLAFFS SAY TO OUR TROOPS WHO-YA! SEMPER FREAKING FI GUYS! OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD AND WE HAVE HIS MANGEY FLEA BITTEN RAGGIDY BULLET RIDDEN ASS TO PROVE IT! OUTSTANDING JOB GUYS!
AFTER 9 YEARS 7 MONTHS AND 20 DAYS DING-DONG THE BIG BAD TOWEL HEAD IS GONE!
[We now return you to our regular programing]
Groan! Not Monday again. Bah! Yeah I know what I said about the differences between me and the dragon on Friday and its still true I’m not pissin’ and moanin’ about the morn’ being here, just the fact that its MONDAY morn again. See there IS a difference there. You know what the basic problems with weekends are?
- They take too long to get to. I mean seriously, I have to wait 5 more days for another one? What is up with that? Who’s brilliant arrangement was this?
- Weekends are only 48 hours long. The rest of the week is 120 hours. Does this seem like a fair division of time to you? It doesn’t to me!
- They all end in Mondays, the beginnings of which come far too early in the day. If you have had any sort of a decent weekend at all. Of course its different if you are ImpishDragon who defines the crack of dawn as noon when his blood shot eyes first crack open and he mumbles 2 things “LETHAL!! Coffee! PLEASE HAVE MERCY! I need coffee now!” followed by (half a 2 gallon cup later), “Did I miss breakfast yet?”
Think about it while you laugh but I think the the entire weekend thing needs a totally revamping.
[That’s a Caffeine Molecule…the source of all intelligent life…especially when it relates to Dragons!]
How Gullible Are We?
[Granted in Impish’s case it’s a rhetorical question!]
A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High School won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to the alarmist practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “Dihydrogen monoxide.”
And for plenty of good reasons, since it can:
1. cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you.
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical Dihydrogen, monoxide. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was really… water.
The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible Are We?” The conclusion is obvious.
MURDER AT WALMART
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’ Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart
store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared…
(You’re going to hate me for this…)
‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!’
Oh, quit groaning! I don’t write this stuff, I receive it from warped readers like Paul Bader and then send it on to you.
NY case underscores Wi-Fi privacy dangers
By CAROLYN THOMPSON, Associated Press – 04/24/2011
BUFFALO, N.Y. – Lying on his family room floor with assault weapons trained on him, shouts of “pedophile!” and “pornographer!” stinging like his fresh cuts and bruises, the Buffalo homeowner didn’t need long to figure out the reason for the early morning wake-up call from a swarm of federal agents.
That new wireless router. He’d gotten fed up trying to set a password. Someone must have used his Internet connection, he thought.
“We know who you are! You downloaded thousands of images at 11:30 last night,” the man’s lawyer, Barry Covert, recounted the agents saying. They referred to a screen name, “Doldrum.”
“No, I didn’t,” he insisted. “Somebody else could have but I didn’t do anything like that.”
“You’re a creep … just admit it,” they said.
Law enforcement officials say the case is a cautionary tale. Their advice: Password-protect your wireless router.
Plenty of others would agree. The Sarasota, Fla. man, for example, who got a similar visit from the FBI last year after someone on a boat docked in a marina outside his building used a potato chip can as an antenna to boost his wireless signal and download an astounding 10 million images of child porn, or the North Syracuse, N.Y., man who in December 2009 opened his door to police who’d been following an electronic trail of illegal videos and images. The man’s neighbor pleaded guilty April 12.
[Article continues here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110424/ap_on_hi_te/us_wi_fi_warning]
Having wireless capability is great. For the longest time the only one in our house with it was Molly. I was a desktop computer man and a fanatical wired connection devotee. Nobody eaves dropping on my internet surfing via a wireless signal for THIS computer security specialist!
Then when I got my new lap top a few months ago, we decided to make some changes in our home office/guest room where I had been working out of which required me to disconnect the old desk top for a while. No problem I could use the new lap top and learn Windows 7 via ‘forced immersion” but (horror of horrors) this also meant letting got of my beloved Cat 5 hard wire connection! Argh! My security! Would someone I didn’t want to have access to my network? Was my archive of compromising Dragon photos safe?
As it turns out after checking some sites and doing a little reading and poking about it was because I was running a closed secure network with the security option already set to either WPA or WPA2 by the providers installer. I took things one step farther at that point and reset the default passphrase to one that was long enough to be nearly unbreakable by hackers but easy enough for both Molly and I to remember.
To check these settings and change your default ISP issues passphrase I suggest you contact your Internet Service Providers Help Desk as you risk messing up your router seriously if you are not familiar with them and comfortable with how they work and what the different settings mean.
A few minutes of prevention could well spell the difference between security and peace of mind vs a 2 AM search & arrest warrant serving SWAT team nightmare!
Also if your router (they are usually provided by your ISP as part of the deal) is older than 5 years ask about getting a new one. The new ones are faster and have the better WAP or WPA2 security option as opposed to the old WEP option. Impish ran into this situation for different reasons a few months back and it seems if you don’t occasionally squeak loudly as you roll along the information superhighway, you don’t get the oil of upgrading. Provider say no? Ask for their supervisor. Many times this is enough to get the tune to change as the base level CSR are not authorized to send you a new one but will not tell you that. Still not getting one? Mark it down and remember to make an issue of it comes to new contract time. When they find out you are willing to leave and go elsewhere to get a new more secure and faster Router you’d be surprised how reasonable the retention people can be!
Me McGoogles are aching and twinging like they were drop kicked just looking at that pose!
5 PEARLS OF IRISH WISDOM TO REMEMBER
1. Money cannot buy happiness but…somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle…
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help a man when he is in trouble & he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s BLOODY illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.
I know there must be some Irish in me – – but maybe it’s just what I had for a nightcap.
Today’s Last Word comes to us courtesy of K-Squared. When I saw that this guy is a frequent guest host of the Rush Limbaugh radio program I have to admit my finger was hovering over the delete key. Rush has publicly stated that his program is not about intelligent discourse its about taking any side or angle so extreme as to generate disharmony and controversy so as to promote ratings! Unfortunately too many of the people who also think Professional Wrestling is real and unscripted also listen to Rush taking his words as gospel and allowing him to do their thinking for them.
However knowing that Karl usually doesn’t steer me wrong as he thinks fairly much in step with Impish and myself I figured to skim at least the first couple of paragraphs before consigning the e-mail to electronic oblivion.
While fact checking this as I try always to do before posting something with a person’s name attached to it I found that is is in fact incorrectly attributed to Dr. Williams and that this was done mistakenly by the original posting concern.
(Consequently I have removed the errant references to Dr. Williams so as not to perpetuate the problem of misattribution as we here at DragonLaffs try our best to only present true and accurate facts.)
Regardless of who wrote this the more I read the article more frightened I became. The logic used to state his case is not only elegantly simple but spot on and anyone knowing anything about human nature and modern society will find it damned hard to refute. I fervently hope this guy has it all wrong, but something tells me that sadly his words may well be all to prophetic regarding the 2012 election. To me personally that is as frightening a thought as the scariest Stephen King novel coming to life.
No Matter What (Obama Does A Full Eight Years)
Can President Obama be defeated in 2012?… No. He can’t.
I am going on record as saying that President Barack Obama will win a second term.
The media won’t tell you this because a good election campaign means hundreds of millions (or in Obama’s case billions) of dollars to them in advertising.
But the truth is, there simply are no conditions under which Barack Obama can be defeated in 2012:
The quality of the Republican candidate doesn’t matter. Obama gets re-elected.
Nine percent unemployment? No problem. Obama will win.
Gas prices moving toward five dollars a gallon? He still wins.
The economy soars or goes into the gutter. Obama wins.
War in the Middle East? He wins a second term.
America’s role as the leading Superpower disappears? Hurray for Barack Obama!
The U.S. government rushes toward bankruptcy, the dollar continues to sink on world markets and the price of daily goods and services soars due to inflation fueled by Obama’s extraordinary deficit spending? Obama wins handily.
“You are crazy. Don’t you understand how volatile politics can be when overall economic, government, and world conditions are declining?”
Sure I do. And that’s why I know Obama will win.
The American people are notoriously ignorant of economics. And economics is the key to why Obama SHOULD be defeated.
Even when Obama’s policies lead the nation to final ruin, the majority of the American people are going to believe the bait-and-switch tactics Obama and his supporters in the media will use to explain why it isn’t his fault. After all, things were much worse than understood when he took office.
Obama’s reelection is really a very, very simple math problem. Consider the following:
1) Blacks will vote for Obama blindly. Period. Doesn’t matter what he does. It’s a race thing. He’s one of us.
2) College educated women will vote for Obama. Though they will be offended by this: they swoon at his oratory. It’s really not more complex than that.
3) Liberals will vote for Obama.. He is their great hope.
4) Democrats will vote for Obama. He is the leader of their party and his coat tails will carry them to victory nationwide.
5) Hispanics will vote for Obama. He is the path to citizenship for those who are illegal and Hispanic leaders recognize the political clout they carry in the Democratic Party.
6) Union members will vote overwhelmingly for Obama. He is their key to money and power in business, state and local politics.
7) Big Business will support Obama. They already have. He has almost $1 billion dollars in his re-election purse gained largely from his connections with Big Business and is gaining more everyday. Big Business loves Obama because he gives them access to taxpayer money so long as they support his social and political agenda.
8) The media love him. They may attack the people who work for him, but they love him. After all, to not love him would be racist.
9) Most other minorities and special interest groups will vote for him. Oddly, the overwhelming majority of Muslims will support him because they won’t vote Republican. American Indians will support him. Obviously homosexuals tend to vote Democratic. And lastly,
10) Approximately half of independents will vote for Obama. And he doesn’t need anywhere near that number because he has all of the groups previously mentioned. The President will win an overwhelming victory in 2012.
Now ‘lest this Last Word give all you Liberals and Dems false hope, fear not we are NOT going to stop discussing alternative candidates to Obama, we are NOT going to stop fighting his reelection and MOST OF ALL, we will NOT stop pointing out the incredible stupidity and epic damage of his actions and policies!
P.S. Karl? Thanks for all the nightmares over the next two years pal!