Good Morning Campers!
Sleep is over-rated and a complete waste of time….
Unless you aren’t getting any. And I have no IDEA why I’m not getting mine.
So, the witty repartee is a bit lagging this morning, so what do ya say we just get on to the good stuff, huh?
Very Powerful stuff here my fellow campers.
A wealthy man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked.
“Give me the bad news first.”
“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”
“That’s the bad news?” the man asked incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
“It’s of you and your mistress.”
Ever wonder what π (Pi) sounds like? Pi (π), one of the most important numbers in mathematics (is it possible to have a number be more important than another?) is rendered here musically. This is way cool campers.
Wow, if you follow all the links and watch all the movies, like I did, you can spend over an hour at this deliciously delightful site.http://twistedsifter.com/2009/04/10-reasons-animated-gifs-rule/
From The Old Country Boy’s Collection of:
The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States .
Next to Warsaw , Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.
Los Angeles ‘ full name is:
El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula
— and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.
Texas makes me think of the old slogan “Remember the Alamo.” It seems that during that battle, the guy in charge of the whole thing put his wife, of all people, on the battle line. She was shot by the enemy, shattered her patella, and had to be removed from the front line. After the fighting was over, she divorced her husband, and sued for Alamo knee.
Okay, this one isn’t quite as bad as the last one, but it still deserves a minor beating…
A man enters a pharmacy and requested a supply of Viagra. The clerk sends him over to speak with the pharmacist. The pharmacist tells the man he would need a Doctor’s prescription in order for her to dispense the drug.
The man, seemingly pacified, leaves…. and returns with a gun. He pulled a hand gun and demanded Viagra again. The pharmacist gave him four full bottles and two partial bottles. Then, the man fled.
The police sergeant who was first on the scene pondered, “This makes me wonder… do we look for a hardened criminal?”
If Moses had the internet!
“You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here
legally, but they hang around on these expired visas, some for as
long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are
two days late with a video and these people are all over you.
Let’s put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.”
– Jay Leno
1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message “oneslice”? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” When, it isn’t all right .
11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?
15. If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
girlfriend to her first football game. They had great
seats right behind their team’s bench. After
the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just
couldn’t understand why they were killing each
other over 25 cents.’Dumbfounded, her date asked,
‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, they flipped a coin,
one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was:
‘Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!’ I’m like….Helloooooo?
It’s only 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for your advice, no one will ever find the bodies now.
Today’s Last Word is a giggling gaggle full of one liners…..you’ll see…