Leprechaun Laffs # 38


DL - Leprechaun Laffs

Out of Coffee

YAHOO! ( no NOT the Internet site though you can yodel it like that if you want) IT’S FRIDAY! THE WEEKEND IS HERE! THE WEEKEND IS HERE! Thime to take a page from these guys:

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Time to kick back, crack a cold one, char grill the hell out of something  (like say maybe a dragon) and….

 

Laugh All Weekend Long!

 

Cliche Scene Investigators

 

DL - Animal Chatter HEader

Today here are two that could pass for my own cats in appearance and their behavior.

glamour kitty

Chai KNOWS she’s pretty and cute and will use it to her advantage in her eternal quest for attention and petting as well as a foil for trying to get out of trouble!

SC assume important

Ordinarily I’m smart enough not to bother a woman in the shower (ALWAYS gets ugly). But in SC’s case she’s always in there long enough to use all the hot water and never cleans the hair out of the drain!

aging - old is

Now THIS Is A Great Commercial

 

 

aging old when

 

The Greatest Anti-Retirement Video of All Time

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10 Laws That Prove The World Is Nuts

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this? Impish is frantically packing and screaming for someone to book him a flight to Guam while asking why nobody told him this Twenty Five years ago)

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England – but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course! They eat baked beans on toast for breakfast so why should their topless laws make anymore sense than that?)

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this holy grail of men’s fantasies was actually a big enough problem there that they had to pass this law?)

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to do things with animals that I just don’t want to write about here, however the animals must be female. Having a bit of ‘hows your father’ with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense Bestiality is ok but we’re not condoning homosexual bestiality! After all we ARE a ‘civilized” country and do have SOME standards of morality, as low as they might be we insist you adhere to them.)

In Maryland , USA it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’

(Is America a great country or what? A law that gives every safe sex practicing male in Maryland a reason to go into a bar! BRILLIANT! Well, ok maybe not quite as great as Guam !)

 

SB2149-Useless-man1

(Special thanks to the ImpishDragon for confirming those uses from first hand knowledge)

 

National Geographic- Cougar Sleeping in a Tree

Great photography! This looks to be a fairly young cougar that is REALLY tired…

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younger cougar sleeping in a tree

(NO IMPISH! You CANNOT take her home! YES she is cute but she’s a cougar, a wild thing more fickle than a fairie and would rip your heart out through your wallet when she was done toying with you!)

 

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Are You Prepared for a Disaster? Do You Have a Plan?

The recent events in Japan in addition to our annual review here at Firebase Leprechaun of our contingency plans and emergency stores for Hurricane Season  got me thinking about the rest of you. I know Impish knows full well the value of a disaster plan, heck he teaches Emergency Preparedness and has resources to help him aplenty. We here at Firebase Leprechaun had a vivid and graphic reminder of their value when a fire broke out here in our complex two weeks ago destroying two units and severely damaging two others. Due to clearly preplanned contingencies, had it been necessary for us to leave we could have been out of here, with our two cats and enough clothing, personal important papers &  basic necessities for all of us (cats included) for approximately a week. This would have required roughly 1/2 an hour to accomplish which would have included probably a good 10 minutes playing ‘corral the kitties’.

The events in Japan and our experience with the fire here highlight the fact that a disaster can strike at any time. You often don’t get a lot of warning. (We were not even aware that the fire was happening until the following morning and it was over.)

But that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for emergencies. There are many basic measures you can take. But it’s difficult to make sure that you’ve covered all your bases.

In a major disaster, it might be several days before vital services are restored. That’s where the 72hours.org web site come into the picture. It has lots of information on preparing for emergency situations. And it covers almost every type of disaster you can think of. You can find planning information for multiple living situations. It has detailed instructions for reacting to specific disasters. And you can get help building a basic disaster kit. You can even print things out for future reference!

Don’t count on FEMA, the Red Cross or the local government to help you immediately after a disaster (remember New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina?) . Start planning and preparing to take care of yourself and your loved ones on your own before its too late!

http://72hours.org/

Also here is another handy site for getting as much advanced warning of certain disasters and information in the aftermath from my personal bookmarks:

Get FREE Emergency Notification of an emergency or the weather by email, wireless, cell phone or pager. The Emergency Email and Wireless Network provides free information in the form of an e-mail or text message alert. Sign up, customize it to suit your location and needs (for example in addition to severe weather alerts, hurricane and prison break warnings I also get Dept. of Homeland Security Threat Level Change notices) then you can start feeling more secure right away!

http://www.emergencyemail.org/

The life you save might be yours or someone’s who means even more to you! Use them both today!

aging - Incontence

 

DL LAst Word Header

Actually Darrell Powers, “Shifty”, died on June 17 2009 at the age of 86.
The accompanying ‘letter’ was not written by ‘Chuck Yeager’ but by a Mr. Mark Pfeifer.
See the following after reading this tribute ………..
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/shiftypowers.asp

shifty Powers   shifty powers medals

“Shifty” By Chuck Yeager

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy 
Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st 
Airborne Infantry.  If you’ve seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the 
History Channel, you know Shifty.  His character appears in all 10 
episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them. 

I met Shifty in the  Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn’t 
know who he was at the time.  I just saw an elderly gentleman having 
trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was 
at the right gate, and noticed the “Screaming Eagle,” the symbol of
the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he d been in the 101st Airborne 
or if his son was serving.  He said quietly that he had been in the 
101st.  I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, 
and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said “Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, 
and was in until sometime in 1945 …. ” at which point my heart 
skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said “I made the 5 training 
jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . .  do you know 
where  Normandy is?”  At this point my heart stopped.

I told him “yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what 
D-Day was.”  At that point he said “I also made a second jump into 
Holland , into  Arnhem .”  I was standing with a genuine war hero…  
and then I realized that it was June,  just after the anniversary of 
D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from  France , and he said 
“Yes…  And it’s real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are 
left, and those that are, lots of them can’t make the trip.”  My heart 
was in my throat and I didn’t know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in 
Coach while I was in First Class.  I sent the flight attendant back to 
get him and said that I wanted to switch seats.  When Shifty came 
forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have 
it, that I’d take his in coach.

He said “No, son, you enjoy that seat.  Just knowing that there are 
still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to 
make an old man very happy.”  His eyes were filling up as he said it. 
And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on Jan. 17 after fighting cancer.
There was no parade.
No big event in  Staples Center .
No wall to wall back to back 24×7 news coverage.
No weeping fans on television.
And that’s not right!!

Let’s give Shifty his own Memorial Service, online, in our own quiet way.
Please forward this email to everyone you know.  Especially to the veterans.

  
Rest in peace, Shifty.  
Chuck Yeager, Maj Gen. [ret.]

P.S.  I think that it is amazing how the “media” chooses our “heroes” these days…Michael Jackson & the like!

Shifty I’m sorry I never met you, it would have been an honor and a privilege to meet a man of your courage and soldier of your caliber regardless of your service branch.  It would have been an even greater honor to salute you and ask permission to shake your hand.

Semper Fi Shifty. You may be gone now, but rest assured you your deeds and your service to this country will never be forgotten. Not as long as Impish and I are around to remind others of it anyway.

 

DL Closing CreditsAmer 4 Legal Immigration Bumper Sticker

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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