Leprechaun Laffs #11


DL HEader

Good Morning Readers! Leprechaun here once again~

I’m thinking when Leprechaun Laffs hits issue # 12 I should hold out for my own banner where I get the top banana spot!

Seems this morning finds the Dragon yet again under the weather abet THIS time literally. Snow fell on the Dragon aerie last night follow by a health dose of ice and freezing rain from what I gathered from his tersely grumbled comments. This resulted in of course closed schools and his being called in to man the Emergency Operations Center much early than his normally scheduled (nearly obscene to you civilian types) time. Since all I was confronted with this morning was the possibility of an impending migraine and a balky heating system (a minor problem quickly discovered and rectified with a screwdriver and 2 AA batteries) I graciously told him I would handle the situation again. When so informed the dragon ever quick and eloquent in his thanks grunted and ran off to discover the culprit behind to empty coffee pots in the Command Center, dunk him in water and bury him up to his neck in a snow bank as an example.

SO…left to our own devices let’s see how much humor we can get in to!

It’s always a good idea to start any major undertaking off with a prayer (or so I am reliably informed) This one comes from our good friend and loyal reader K-Squared:

Lord,

My prayer for 2011 is for a fat bank account & a thin body.

Please don’t mix these up like you did last year.

AMEN.

control

Impish asks this very question constantly!

SPEAKING of our not present favorite Dragon, yesterday he called me while in route to return some ancient computer hardware that had been replace to whatever an acronym the Air Force assigns to the storage area for antique technology. Seems that in addition to new computers the Dragon had scored a new and well padded chair for his office. I mentioned being interested in a photo of his office which he proudly sent me when he returned to it (fortunately before he sat down). I thought I should share that picture with you all so here it is:

COmputer Restroom

Yup that sure is one heck of a padded seat! Can’t say much for his interior decorating skills however.

Should children witness childbirth? Good question. Here’s your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See while he helped deliver the baby… Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place…..smack his ass again!’

Confused Dragon

DL Introspection Header

Oddest Stories of 2010 Part 7

The man who fled hospital to avoid having his penis amputated after 27 hours erect

7-penis-viagra

 

 

In May 2010, a man tried to escape from a hospital in the Dominican Republic where he had been hospitalized for priapism, a condition characterized by a prolonged and painful erection not associated with sexual desire after learning that doctors planned to amputate his penis because he may have gangrene.
Luis Rodríguez Taveras, 45, had been admitted more than three weeks in a hospital north of the Dominican Republic because of this problem, which was caused by eating a lot of sexual stimulants. In statements given to local journalists later, Rodriguez declared that he had ingested drugs. Rodríguez Taveras said he warned his wife not to sign the document authorizing the operation because “I could not live without my penis.” He argued that the erection began to subside gradually after treatment provided by an urologist at another hospital, who was defined as a good doctor and “very human.” (Link)

Remind me never to get an erection in the Dominican Republic much less go the the hospital! Sounds like they practice Obammacare there!

Air Infidel

That’s our program for today folks! Tune in tomorrow to see if Impish can dig himself out of all that snow  or if I get my personal Leprechaun Laffs banner. Find out if Impish remembers how to publish an issue of DL or if Lassie can rescue that brat Timmy from the well!

DL Closing Credits

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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