Good Morning Readers! Leprechaun here once again~
I’m thinking when Leprechaun Laffs hits issue # 12 I should hold out for my own banner where I get the top banana spot!
Seems this morning finds the Dragon yet again under the weather abet THIS time literally. Snow fell on the Dragon aerie last night follow by a health dose of ice and freezing rain from what I gathered from his tersely grumbled comments. This resulted in of course closed schools and his being called in to man the Emergency Operations Center much early than his normally scheduled (nearly obscene to you civilian types) time. Since all I was confronted with this morning was the possibility of an impending migraine and a balky heating system (a minor problem quickly discovered and rectified with a screwdriver and 2 AA batteries) I graciously told him I would handle the situation again. When so informed the dragon ever quick and eloquent in his thanks grunted and ran off to discover the culprit behind to empty coffee pots in the Command Center, dunk him in water and bury him up to his neck in a snow bank as an example.
SO…left to our own devices let’s see how much humor we can get in to!
It’s always a good idea to start any major undertaking off with a prayer (or so I am reliably informed) This one comes from our good friend and loyal reader K-Squared:
My prayer for 2011 is for a fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don’t mix these up like you did last year.
Impish asks this very question constantly!
SPEAKING of our not present favorite Dragon, yesterday he called me while in route to return some ancient computer hardware that had been replace to whatever an acronym the Air Force assigns to the storage area for antique technology. Seems that in addition to new computers the Dragon had scored a new and well padded chair for his office. I mentioned being interested in a photo of his office which he proudly sent me when he returned to it (fortunately before he sat down). I thought I should share that picture with you all so here it is:
Yup that sure is one heck of a padded seat! Can’t say much for his interior decorating skills however.
Should children witness childbirth? Good question. Here’s your answer.
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See while he helped deliver the baby… Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place…..smack his ass again!’
Oddest Stories of 2010 Part 7
The man who fled hospital to avoid having his penis amputated after 27 hours erect
In May 2010, a man tried to escape from a hospital in the Dominican Republic where he had been hospitalized for priapism, a condition characterized by a prolonged and painful erection not associated with sexual desire after learning that doctors planned to amputate his penis because he may have gangrene.
Luis Rodríguez Taveras, 45, had been admitted more than three weeks in a hospital north of the Dominican Republic because of this problem, which was caused by eating a lot of sexual stimulants. In statements given to local journalists later, Rodriguez declared that he had ingested drugs. Rodríguez Taveras said he warned his wife not to sign the document authorizing the operation because “I could not live without my penis.” He argued that the erection began to subside gradually after treatment provided by an urologist at another hospital, who was defined as a good doctor and “very human.” (Link)
Remind me never to get an erection in the Dominican Republic much less go the the hospital! Sounds like they practice Obammacare there!
That’s our program for today folks! Tune in tomorrow to see if Impish can dig himself out of all that snow or if I get my personal Leprechaun Laffs banner. Find out if Impish remembers how to publish an issue of DL or if Lassie can rescue that brat Timmy from the well!