Leprechaun here folks~
By way of Introductory remarks and explanation as to why this is an issue of Leprechaun Laffs as opposed to a standard issue of Dragon Laffs let me post this behind the scenes at DL Corporate conversation between meself and our illustrious Dragon who’s luster was apparently quite dim and tarnished this morning, As usual I appear in green and him in blue:
LL: Since you apparently over did it lording the fact you had yesterday off over all of us and were in no condition to do a Dragon Laffs this morning I will rescue you yet again and do a Leprechaun Laffs issue.
ID: (with much grumbling and groaning) I almost got one done this morning.
LL: I keep telling you…Almost only counts in the games Horseshoes or Washers, hand grenades, artillery barrages and WMDs!
I’m sure the readers are almost laughing at your almost issue too.
ID: Very nice. I really don’t deserve an Administrator and Friend and good as you. I really SHOULD pay you more.
LL: Well on both of those accounts at least we agree.
And now…Let’s Get Our Laugh On!
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich . (better yet a NY Strip steak with mushrooms, onions and peppers in a red wine reduction, a fully loaded baked potato and a salad!)
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1. Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers–what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
– – – and, as someone recently said to me: “Don’t worry about old age–it doesn’t last!
Building on the #1 from our list of 10 thoughts…..
Bellamy Brothers – Jalapeno Video …….
This song/video is causing a major upset in the US. People (politicians) are wanting it banned.
The Bellamy’s are on a bus tour right now in the states and are singing this on every stop & are getting ready to go overseas.
This has caused quite the uprising. It’s even been said that it should be banned in the US and that if the Bellamy’s leave the US , they should not be allowed back. Plus people (politicians) are saying it offends them – guess the truth hurts! Radio stations all over are playing this song & telling people to go to You Tube for the video.
Personally, I think its hilarious! Looks to me like it’s getting great reviews! Go Bellamys! Good Job!
Turn the sound Up:
Oddest Stories of 2010 Part 6
The thief who tried to steal from a museum wearing an elaborate camouflaged “ghillie suit”
Gregory Liascos might have been an invisible man, but he still had an ill-conceived plan. According to police in Oregon, the 36-year-old suspect wore an elaborate camouflaged “ghillie suit” before attempting to break through the wall of a rock and mineral museum over the course of several nights in October in an attempt to snatch the museum’s quarter-million-dollar gold collection. Museum staff alerted police after spotting a half-chiseled hole that the Moss Man had allegedly carved into a bathroom wall, and though his grassy outfit was hard to spot, police dog had no trouble sniffing out the suspect. The animal found a large piece of ground interesting. The dog bit – the ground screamed. (Link)
Good thing he didn’t use a fire hydrant disguise! That would have been a real pisser!
Here’s a handing little printable reference chart of all you men out there:
A True and Cautionary Tale Regarding Leprechauns
Little Lethal Leprechaun, a fifth grade student had a penis so large, his parents warned him not to have anything to do with girls.
They cautioned him he could easily kill someone.
Through the grapevine, his teacher learned about
his unusual size, and keeping him after school, suggested
they have sex.
Little Lethal Leprechaun refused, though greatly tempted, expressing concern he might kill her.
She laughs and scoffs at the idea and says she will elect to be on top, in complete control, so nothing bad can happen.
He reluctantly agreed but the teacher experiences such wonderful sensations, she faints from pure joy.
Thinking he’s killed her, Lethal runs from the class room sobbing and crying, “Oh bloody hell!… I killed her! I killed her!”
All at once he stops dead in his tracks, and look of dawning
comprehension appears on his face as he says, “Wait just a minute! I didn’t kill her. She committed suicide!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
I seem to be doing quite well judging from comment I received with my “a picture is worth a thousand words” Last Word philosophy of late so we’ll try it again today/ This one is SO good I don’t think I need to say anything at all after it.