Dragon Laffs #1155


Good morning campers!  I hope everyone is fine, doing well and having a wonderful new year!  I have a request to make of you… in the last week or so we’ve had total hits of between 700 and clear into the 900’s, but we haven’t broken our own record set on 30 Nov 10 when we had 1003 views.  We would love to break that record, but the only way we are going to do that is if you, dear, dear campers, forward our link on to your friends and family. 
And that’s my request.
To forward us to all your friends and family.
Look, do I need to spell it out for you?
Okay, now, did you also know that you can leave comments?
Yup, you can.
At the bottom of each and every posting, whether it’s a full Dragon Laffs like this one or one of the Leprechaun’s wonderful quickies, there is a link that looks like either this:
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
if no one else has left a comment yet; or this:
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
If someone else has already commented.
Also, on the right-hand side of the blog you can read the most recent 15 comments that have been made.  They make for almost as much fun reading as the ezine itself does.

Now that we have all that worked out…

Let’s Laugh!

5c

The Old Country Boy’s:
DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE?

The Seven-Day Week

The Babylonians marked time with lunar months. They proscribed some activities during several days of the month, particularly the

first — the first visible crecent,
seventh — the waxing half moon,
fourteenth — the full moon,
nineteenth — dedicated to an offended goddess,
twenty-first — the waning half moon,
twenty-eigth — the last visible crecent,
twenty-ninth — the invisible moon, and
thirtieth (possibly) — the invisible moon.

The major periods are seven days, 1/4 month, long. This seven-day period was later regularized and disassociated from the lunar month to become our seven-day week.

The Naming of the Days

The Greeks named the days week after the sun, the moon and the five known planets, which were in turn named after the gods Ares, Hermes, Zeus, Aphrodite, and Cronus. The Greeks called the days of the week the Theon hemerai “days of the Gods”. The Romans substituted their equivalent gods for the Greek gods, Mars, Mercury, Jove (Jupiter), Venus, and Saturn. (The two pantheons are very similar.) The Germanic peoples generally substituted roughly similar gods for the Roman gods, Tiu (Twia), Woden, Thor, Freya (Fria), but did not substitute Saturn.

Sunday — Sun’s day

Middle English sone(n)day or sun(nen)day
Old English sunnandæg “day of the sun”
Germanic sunnon-dagaz “day of the sun”
Latin dies solis “day of the sun”
Ancient Greek hemera heli(o)u, “day of the sun”

Monday — Moon’s day

Middle English Monday or mone(n)day
Old English mon(an)dæg “day of the moon”
Latin dies lunae “day of the moon”
Ancient Greek hemera selenes “day of the moon”

Tuesday — Tiu’s day

Middle English tiwesday or tewesday
Old English tiwesdæg “Tiw’s (Tiu’s) day”
Latin dies Martis “day of Mars”
Ancient Greek hemera Areos “day of Ares”

Tiu (Twia) is the English/Germanic god of war and the sky. He is identified with the Norse god Tyr.

Mars is the Roman god of war.

Ares is the Greek god of war.

Wednesday — Woden’s day

Middle English wodnesday, Wednesday, or wednesdai
Old English wodnesdæg “Woden’s day”
Latin dies Mercurii “day of Mercury”
Ancient Greek hemera Hermu “day of Hermes”

Woden is the chief Anglo-Saxon/Teutonic god. Woden is the leader of the Wild Hunt. Woden is from wod “violently insane” + –en “headship”. He is identified with the Norse Odin.

Mercury is the Roman god of commerce, travel, theivery, eloquence and science. He is the messenger of the other gods.

Hermes is the Greek god of commerce, invention, cunning, and theft. He is the messenger and herald of the other gods. He serves as patron of travelers and rogues, and as the conductor of the dead to Hades.

Thursday — Thor’s day

Middle English thur(e)sday
Old English thursdæg
Old Norse thorsdagr “Thor’s day”
Old English thunresdæg “thunder’s day”
Latin dies Jovis “day of Jupiter”
Ancient Greek hemera Dios “day of Zeus”.

Thor is the Norse god of thunder. He is represented as riding a chariot drawn by goats and wielding the hammer Miölnir. He is the defender of the Aesir, destined to kill and be killed by the Midgard Serpent.

Jupiter (Jove) is the supreme Roman god and patron of the Roman state. He is noted for creating thunder and lightning.

Zeus is Greek god of the heavens and the supreme Greek god.

Friday — Freya’s day

Middle English fridai
Old English frigedæg “Freya’s day”
composed of Frige (genetive singular of Freo) + dæg “day” (most likely)
or composed of Frig “Frigg” + dæg “day” (least likely)
Germanic frije-dagaz “Freya’s (or Frigg’s) day”
Latin dies Veneris “Venus’s day”
Ancient Greek hemera Aphrodites “day of Aphrodite”

Freo is identical with freo, meaning free. It is from the Germanic frijaz meaning “beloved, belonging to the loved ones, not in bondage, free”.

Freya (Fria) is the Teutonic goddess of love, beauty, and fecundity (prolific procreation). She is identified with the Norse god Freya. She is leader of the Valkyries and one of the Vanir. She is confused in Germany with Frigg.

Frigg (Frigga) is the Teutonic goddess of clouds, the sky, and conjugal (married) love. She is identified with Frigg, the Norse goddess of love and the heavens and the wife of Odin. She is one of the Aesir. She is confused in Germany with Freya.

Venus is the Roman goddess of love and beauty.

Aphrodite (Cytherea) is the Greek goddess of love and beauty.

Saturday — Saturn’s day

Middle English saterday
Old English sæter(nes)dæg “Saturn’s day”
Latin dies Saturni “day of Saturn”
Ancient Greek hemera Khronu “day of Cronus”

Saturn is the Roman and Italic god of agriculture and the consort of Ops. He is believed to have ruled the earth during an age of happiness and virtue.

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DragonPapa1 (88)

It goes Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Is that
fair to anyone who’s alone? If you didn’t get around to killing
yourself on Christmas or New Year’s, boom, there’s Valentine’s Day
for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine’s Day called
“Are you still here?” (Laura Kightlinger)

This picture is not here because it’s funny…
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…to my friends and family back in Jersey: look closely behind her and I’m SURE you’ll recognize where she is.  Oh No!If I can recognize it after only being there once in the last 33 years, you guys should be able to pick it right out.  Really gives Jersey a bad name….then again, it doesn’t require this to give Jersey a bad name, Jersey has had a bad name and the “Real Sluts of New Jersey Housewives” reality TV show doesn’t help.  Oh well.  Anyone need any additional explanation as to why I am the way I am? 
Laughter3

It’s been raining in Los Angeles for four straight days. When asked
if they had ever seen anything like this before, most residents
said something in Spanish. (Tim Hunter)

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Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play
racquetball. Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing
but a bag over his head and passes the three women. As he passes the
first woman, she looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,”
she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down
at his penis. “He’s not my husband either,” she says, also not
recognizing the unit. He passes by the third woman, who takes a
good long look as he runs by her. “Wait a minute,” she says. “He’s
not even a member of this club.”

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84-year-old Hugh Hefner is getting married to his 24- year-old
Playmate girlfriend Crystal Harris. Actually, there’s some debate
about Harris’s age. USA Today says she’s 23. And there’s some
debate about Hefner’s age. We’re not sure if it’s Bronze or Stone.

“Playboy” founder, 84-year-old Hugh Hefner is engaged to 24-year-old
Playmate, Crystal Harris. When asked what it is like to be engaged
to an Octogenarian, Harris said, it’s fine, I’m a Sagittarius. (Alex
Kaseberg)

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Ezra Klein, you sad little man

Is The Constitution Really Too Hard to Understand?

Written by Jared H. McAndersen

Thursday, 30 December 2010 15:52

You didn’t read the title wrong, get a load of this…

http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog/29-december-2010/2042-is-the-constitution-really-too-hard-to-understand.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+thelookingspoon%2FGprc+%28The+Looking+Spoon+Conservative+Humor+Blog%29

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The Luckiest People on Earth

Although the last ones aren’t lucky, they are part of a TV commercial….but still funny!

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Another one of my all time favorites:

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened. The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road..

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. and he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn’t even an American.

So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!”

“And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a fucking truck hit us.”

 

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“I know I need some kind of athletic activity in my life, so I
subscribed to a couple of health magazines. There’s nothing
better than kicking back with a cigarette, a Budweiser, and
Prevention magazine… and reading about what nicotine, alcohol,
and sloth will do to me. The anxiety alone raises my heart rate.”

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k16
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Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby, Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn’t and he did it.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

 

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To the wonderful campers who wrote to me and asked me about “jack-wagon” …
5b
Gosh, I love that commercial!

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anal

antique plan b

awesome

Virginia sheriffs reported Friday somebody robbed a bank while wearing a Hillary Clinton mask. The thief had the element of surprise. Every time the security guards see someone from the Obama administration walk into the bank they assume they are bringing money, not taking it. -A. Hamilton

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WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange vowed Thursday to fight the sexual assault charges made by two Swedish women. He was embarrassed by his accusers’ graphic description of his lovemaking. He was raised to believe that some things are supposed to be private. -Argus Hamilton

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storms7

From one of our wonderful campers….Jeannie:

I’m sure I’ve sent this before…but I really, really love this song… Dave Matthews Band – You & Me (GRAMMYs on CBS)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6t78OW-yhM

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And lastly, from our dear camper friend Lynn…

Snowflakes Under an Electron Microscope Wired Science Wired.com

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