Well, I sure hope that Christmas was as good at your house as it was at my cave. We had an extra special great time! Santa brought us a Wii for the family. I wonder if I should be concerned that he brought my littlest girl “How To Train Your Dragon.” Both the game and the movie! What is this? She’s supposed to get instruction from the movie, practice from the game and then real-life exercise from working on her poor, old, dad?…Here’s a horrible thought…I wonder if Lethal Leprechaun had anything to do with those gifts? … Okay, so here’s a worse thought… I wonder if her mom had anything to do with those gifts! I’d love to ask Santa about it, but him and I aren’t on speaking terms and according to the paperwork, I have to stay at least 50 yards away from him at all times. Anyway…
Let’s get on with the laughter!
Way cool stuff from Makeuseof.com
This one requires major warnings, flashing lights and stop signs! Please be careful and handle only with PPE (Personal Protective Equipment). The scary part is that this one is from our dear friend, K²
A man goes to the doctor. He says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s
wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!”
“I have no idea what to tell you. There’s nothing about it in my books,” he said, as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. “I can make a well educated guess though,” he continued. “Based on life and all my previous experience, I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places.”
And of course our dear Zack has to have return fire…
Two good Montana buddies were out hunting for a cougar that was killing their sheep. They staked out an area of the woods near their fields, and waited. After a while, sure enough, there came the cougar. They patiently waited until it was close, and then they both jumped up and shot it at the same time.
They couldn’t tell whose bullet had taken the cougar’s life! They decided to share the credit, and also to have the cougar stuffed, and they decided to take turns keeping the stuffed cougar. However, this arrangement turned out not to be to their liking. Instead, they decided to divide the stuffed cougar in two, and flip a coin for who would get which end.
Bill lost, and ended up with a mounted trophy of the cougar’s rear. So even though shooting the cougar was a great sporting victory, Bill thought … it was nothing but a catastrophe.
Driving in the snow is like eating pussy…………….
If you don’t slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you!
BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!
New way to launch Aircraft off a carrier….we are watching new technology being born! Way cool stuff and Lakehurst NAS is very close to what was “home” to me.
The Table Book Clock ($29.99) proves that not all fancy gadgets have to be obvious. This one masquerades as a set of books on a shelf. Fascinating design decision, don’t you think?
Dang! Wish I had seen this in time to put it on my Christmas Wish List. Way cool! There’s always next year I suppose. LOL.
Visit 5 of the world’s greatest museums without ever leaving your house! Do it virtually! Really, really good stuff here folks. You could spend hours and hours just going through the Smithsonian alone!
This man walks in to a psychiatrist’s office and lies down on the couch. The shrink says, “What makes you think you need the services of a psychiatrist?”
The man replies that he wakes up every night in the kitchen after some pretty
The shrink says, “So, would you like me to try to cure you of sleepwalking?”
The man explains that the sleepwalking isn’t really the problem. Every time he wakes up he is in the same place, doing the same thing – he has his pajamas around his ankles and his dick in a jar of peanuts.
The psychiatrist says, “I think I know what your problem is. You’re fucking nuts.”
For the man who has everything…..here it is! Something else!
Magnetic Moose Bottle Opener
Add a little fun and function to your kitchen or bar with this Moose bottle opener. The strong magnetic back attaches to your refrigerator or other metal surface; just put the bottle in the moose’s mouth and it pulls the cap off quickly. 6.5in.L x 4.5in.W x 8.5in.H.
And speaking of home towns………http://vimeo.com/18213768
Tarzan and Jane were expecting their fourth child and were pretty strapped for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the used-crocodile business. Monday morning he got up early,
shaved, put on his best loin cloth, swung down to the river, and spent the whole day fighting, haggling over and hassling with cranky crocs.
As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the treehouse and demanded, “Quick, Jane, a martini!” Tossing it back he barked, “Another, Jane, on the double!” Gulping it down, he
held out his glass again. “One more, Jane.”
“Aw, honey, don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit?” she chided gently.
“You don’t understand, Jane… it’s a jungle out there.”
Yes, indeedy deed…that was another awful one from Zack!
We were a poor family and it was a bone-chilling cold winter.
My Daddy asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Knowing full-well
that “Santa” couldn’t afford the new bicycle I really wanted, I
answered, “Well, Dad, I’d like a new pair of corduroy pants and
something small to play with, if that’s okay.”
Impatiently, I waited for Christmas morning and of course, I
couldn’t race downstairs until I could hear Mom and Dad stirring
around down there, getting breakfast going.
Cautiously, I crept down the stairs and looked over the banister
rail at our lovely (but scantily decorated) Christmas tree. I could
see at least one box that I was sure was for me!
Trying my best not to rush over to the tree to confirm my hopes, I
went into the kitchen and after we finished breakfast, Mom suggested
we go into the front parlor and see what Santa had brought us. Mom
could tell I was itching to see my gift, so it was the first box she
distributed. Sure enough, it was the box I spied on my way
I eagerly tore off the (re-used) wrapping paper and the little
home-made bow, lifted the lid and….
There was the most magnificent pair of dark brown corduroy pants I’d
Mom said, “Try them on, Son, and see if they fit you.”
I whisked off my pajama bottoms and pulled on my new pants. “Did
Santa bring me something small to play with?” I asked.
Dad said, “Well, Son, put your hands in the pockets of them there
I did as directed. The bottoms of both pockets had been cut out!