Dragon Laffs #1148


Good Morning Campers!  Today is a very special day!  It’s Christmas Eve!  The day before Christmas; probably one of the most adrenalin filled days out there!  Today is the day that all little boys and girls have to worry about whether they have, indeed, been good enough this year to have earned a visit from Santa Claus.

A very special day, indeed.

It’s also special for another, more personal reason.  And since I have it on very good authority that if I don’t tell you, someone else will, I will let itbirthdaydragon accidently, on purpose slip, that today is my birthday.  I am celebrating the 23rd anniversary of my 29th birthday.  (You do the math.)  I thought of several different ways of putting this little tidbit of information in the e-zine, or what I could also do along with it that might make for a bit more of a cool issue, but I really didn’t come up with much.  I thought about telling you all something about myself, either in my human or my dragon form, I also thought about giving you a special email address where you could write in and ask anything you wanted about me.  But then I thought, well, most of you probably already know way more about me then you really wanted to know and as for the questions, if you really had that many questions, you would’ve already asked.  I’ve come to realize that what you come to this site for isn’t so much my one sided opinions (can there be any other sort?) or my somewhat annoying insistence on a mythological second side.  No, what you come here for is the laughter.  The same stuff that all of us share and desire.  So, although the day may be personally important for a couple of different reasons than most of the rest of you, what we really want to see is….

Let’s laugh!

Besides, any of you out there who share this day as a birthday, and odds are that there are at least a few of you out there, know how much it stinks….and that, dear campers, is a subject for another time….

 

8a

Another Oldie…

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.
An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a spine-chilling “Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final “Y-e-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!” and rode off.
“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service station attendant.
“Nothing,” the woman answered. “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”
“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians don’t use saddles.”

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DragonPapa1 (82)

2 Eagles Season Tickets For Sale!

I have 2 Philadelphia Eagles season tickets for sale. My wife doesn’t want to attend any more of their games as she doesn’t like the person who sits in the seat next to us. I’ve attached a picture with the view from our seats. 
Tickets will be sold to the highest bidder.

Current Bid:    $6,500 each

arrow down 6

8

8b

roflmao!  I think I lived next door to this one:

No doubt about  those Brit girls, they do have way of taking charge of a problem situation…….

http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=23312

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311

If you’re singing Christmas songs on your neighbor’s lawn at night with your church group, it’s called “caroling.”

But if you’re doing it alone with no pants on, it’s called “drunk and disorderly.”

 
And if you’re doing it in July, it’s even worse…and doesn’t matter whether you have any of the guys from the church along or not.  Trust me. ~ Impish
 

8c

“I don’t want you to think I don’t like marriage,” said the
man to his friend.”I’ve been happily married three times. My last
wife was one of them women’s libbers. She got mad ’cause I
opened the car door for her. Of course, we were going 75
mph when I did it.”

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a50

a51

“A man in Sicily had himself arrested so he wouldn’t have
to spend the holidays with his relatives. How many guys are
going, ‘Why didn’t we think of that?'” -Jay Leno

Outside my front door….

8d

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the more sheer, the higher the price.

He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), “I have an idea … it’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, I’ll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Grief! You’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot. Funeral is on Thursday at Noon.The coffin will be closed

120_bcs-jelly322222222

Great Wireless Headset Commercial:

http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/funny-wireless-headset-commercial/ 

Donate322222222

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k5

Mrs Dragon: Watcha doin’ today?

Impish: Nothing

Mrs Dragon: You did that yesterday

Impish: I wasn’t finished.

883

Now, that’s my kind of clock!

For you turkey hunters out there…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog&NR=1

I ain’t sayin’ nuttin!

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stop

Shhhh

Rolling hills

WHOO HOO & WOW!  You Are Going To LOVE This!!!  Turn off your desk light.

Amazing Christmas Display with 176 channels and 45,000 lights. The show is so popular that it requires a crew of 3 people to manage the traffic. 

This is terrific!

Holdman Christmas Lights 2010

– Complete Show

http://www.flixxy.com/holdman-christmas-lights-2010-complete-show.htm

884

Dear Noah,

It’s ok, we caught the train to Hogwarts instead.

Sincerely, Unicorns and Dragons.

Dear Kids,

There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents.

Sincerely, Wikileaks.

Dear Bank Accounts,

OM NOM NOM.

Sincerely, Christmas.

Dear Santa Claus,

Please stop taking all the credit for our hard work.

Sincerely, UPS employees everywhere.

Dear College Student,

I saw your Facebook page this year, no presents for you…

Sincerely, Santa.

Dear skinny jeans,

R.I.P.

Sincerely, the holidays.

Dear gift givers,

I understand that “it’s the thought that counts”, but what kind of thoughts were going through your head when you picked this out?

Sincerely, are you serious.

Dear Mrs. Clause,

Please stop freaking out, Ho Ho Ho is just a catch phrase.

Sincerely, Santa.

Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho’s.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods.

Dear cats,

The Christmas tree is not your personal jungle gym.

Sincerely, your owner.

Dear Grandma,

A thousand apologies.

Sincerely, Reindeer.

Dear Santa,

Define ‘naughty.’

Sincerely, Kids Everywhere.

Dear Santa,

You still owe me for that hit and run.

Sincerely, Grandma.

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nano34

Okay, that’s gonna leave a mark!

885

886

887

 

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1148

  1. Betty aka Dreamweaver says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Impish!!!! as “they” say, your not getting older, just getting better 😉
    http://www.wtv-zone.com/SassyAnnie/bet.bmp

  2. lynn fux says:

    Oy vay Impish ,now yo know I didn’t forget your birthday,especially since it falls on X-mas but my life today has been ruled by the law of Murphy,couldn’t access the net too many people,and couldn’t access SKYPE something like 19 million people and adding 200,000 each time I tried. Finally got a SKYPE thru to Australia and had to do my X-mas skit via typing and funny gestures. I think I may send the text of that conversation to yo for DL,yo will never figure it out not even Lethal but yo will laugh yourself silly!!! If that were not enough my u key is stuck with jelly. Ok ,enough,HAPPY BIRTHDAY And what a lucky family had yo crack open on Christmas EVE!!! WAy TO GO IMPISH!!! LOLOVE,Lynn

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