True Tales From the Life of Impish Dragon Chapter 3

Turn the Page

Impish and his wife were lying in bed one night.

Mrs. Dragon had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her “nether regions”.

He did this only for a very short while, and then he would stop and resume reading his book.

Mrs. Dragon gradually became aroused with this, and thought that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement before going any further.

She got up and started stripping in front of him.

Impish was confused and asked  “What are you doing taking your clothes off?”

Mrs. Dragon replied, “You were playing with my “nether regions”. I thought it was foreplay to stimulate making love with you tonight.”

Impish said, “No, not at all.”

Mrs. Dragon then asked, “Well, what the hell were you doing then?”

“I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!”

(Fortunately for Impish he was not reading a hardcover book so his concussion from being beat with it was only slight.)

New Panties

A frustrated Mrs Dragon buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite ImpishDragon. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs  in her best Sharon Stone imitation … enough times that Impish finally asks, “Are you wearing crotchless panties?”

“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.

“Thank God – I thought you were sitting on the dog.”

(ICU Visiting Hours are from 10 until 2)

Why Impish Dragon is  Divorced Once.
( Impish relates the sad sordid tale in  his own words to me)

Well I remember it was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
‘Happy Birthday!’,
And possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
She barely said good morning,
Let alone  ‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought….

Well, that’s marriage for you,
But the kids….
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
And didn’t say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
My secretary Jane said,
‘Good Morning Boss,
And by the way , Happy Birthday ! ‘
It felt a little better
That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock ,
When Jane knocked on my door
And said, ‘You know,  it’s such a beautiful day outside,
And it is your Birthday,  what do you say we go out to lunch,
Just you and me..’

I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,  that’s the greatest thing  I’ve heard all day.  Let’s go !’
We went to lunch..
But we didn’t go  where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro  with a private table.
We had two martinis each  and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, ‘You know,  it’s such a beautiful day…
We don’t need to go straight back to the office,  do we ?’

I responded,  ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind ?’
She said,  ‘Let’s drop by my apartment,  it’s just around the corner..’

After arriving at her apartment,  Jane turned to me and said,
‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,  I’m going to step into the bedroom  for just a moment.   I’ll be right back.’

‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,  after a couple of minutes,
She came out  carrying a huge birthday cake …
Followed  by my wife,  my kids,  and dozens of my friends
And co-workers,  all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there….

On the couch….

Naked as the day I hatched.

Stay tuned for Chapter 4 in which we hear the tale of Impish Dragons desperate search for a sex drive!

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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