Well, we just went through a severe thunderstorm watch and warning, and a tornado warning, had said severe thunderstorm come through (storm line #1) and we are waiting for line #2 and #3 to come through. It’s going to be an interesting night.
Just another night in Northern Indiana. This stuff happens around here all the time.
And … just now they cancelled the tornado watch, the thunderstorm watch and warning and now all is right with the world!
Just like that.
And it’s just like they say, “If you don’t like the weather in Indiana, just wait a minute.”
But, from here, we’ll move on to …
It should say BRB if you REALLY believed.
Definitely a niche market for that last one.
And a small market for that one, too…although I could help with that one.
One of my favorite albums of all time! 1971… I was not quite 13 years old. Going on 54 years old. I wonder if any of those guys are still alive. Here’s what Google had to say:
Of the original members of the band America, Dewey Bunnell and Gerry Beckley are still living. Dan Peek passed away in 2011.
Here’s a more detailed breakdown:
Dewey Bunnell:A founding member, still active in the band.
Gerry Beckley:Another founding member, also still active in the band, but retired from touring in 2024.
Dan Peek:A founding member who passed away on July 24, 2011, at the age of 60.
Going by Dan Peek’s age, these guys were about 20 years old when that album came out. Wow!
And EVERYONE should get that one!
To anyone who has ever worked in retail or food service, you have got to read this next one because it is OH SO TRUE!
I read it and then had to go back and read it to Izzy to remind her of her Dollar General days. We both got a great laugh out of it. Well worth the read.
This next one really messes with your head. Works exactly as it says.
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?”
A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
The evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
This is from our dear friend Wouter in South Africa who writes: Good morning Bob and fellow campers. A few years ago I saw a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon that really touched me. (I unfortunately deleted it) It was a 2 panel cartoon if I remember correctly. In the first one Calvin is really very old and Hobbes says to him that his time has come and he came to fetch him. The second panel shows them walking of (to heaven I presume) hand in paw. Is there anybody that has this cartoon? Well brother, I did a search and this is all I could come up with. It’s not by the original artist, but still…
Anybody got anything else?
Well, the next message is from Puckmeister and it’s just short and sweet…
My sincere Gratitude for your Posts
Stay Safe……Be Blessed
Semper Fi
Thank you brother Semper Fi
Now, let’s get into the laughter. I’m ready, how about you?
There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks…. Rufus and Clarence.
They lived on opposite sides of the river, and they hated each other. Every morning, just after sun-up, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other.
“Rufus!!” Clarence would shout. “You better thank yor lucky stars I cain’t swim….er I’d swim this river and whup your arse!!”
“Clarence!!!” Rufus would holler back. “You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I can’t swim…er I’d swim this river and whup your skinny arse!!!”
This happened every morning for twenty years.
One day the Army Corps of Engineers comes along and build a bridge.
Still, every morning, every day for another five years this yelling across the river ! goes on, even with the bridge.
Finally … Mrs. Rufus had had enough. “Rufus!” she squallers one day. “I cain’t take no more!! Ever’ day for 25 years you’ve been threatenin’ to whup Clarence. Well, there’s the bridge … have at it.”
Rufus thought for a moment. Chewed his bottom lip for another moment. “Woman!” he declared, snapping his suspenders into place, “I’m gonna cross that thar bridge and I’m gonna whup Clarence’s arse!!!”
He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about halfway over the bridge, looked up…. TURNED TAIL AND RAN SCREAMING BACK TO THE HOUSE, SLAMMED THE DOOR, BOLTED THE WINDOWS, GRABBED THE SHOTGUN AND DOVE, PANTING AND GASPING, UNDER THE BED!!!!!
“Rufus!” cried the missus. “I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence’s butt!!!”
“I was, woman, I was!!” he whispered.
“Rufus!” cried the missus. “What in tarnation is the matter?”
“Well,” muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, ” I went to the bridge…… I stepped up on the bridge…..walked halfway over the bridge…. looked up…..”
“And?” asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense.
“And,” continued Rufus, “I saw a sign that said ‘Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches’. Shit he ain’t never looked that big from the other side of the river!!!!!!!”
Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort.
One who had recently retired was describing his life, “I get up late in the morning. I have a fantastic breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and relax. I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee, and I go out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again.”
The other Jewish gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, “What’s his wife’s name?”
Her husband said, “I’m not sure, but I think its Veranda.”
I want to go there, so bad!
“Let’s just walk up the hill to the terminal, rather than wait for the bus,” I suggested to my two young sons. Much to their displeasure, we began our walk.
After a while, my seven-year-old son asked: “Mom, why do you always make the decisions?”
“Because I’m an adult,” I said. “When you become an adult, you’ll make the decisions.”
He thought for a few seconds, then said, “No, I won’t. Then I’ll have a wife.”
A young woman, feeling morning dizziness and strange cravings, goes to see a gynecologist.
After a thorough examination, the Doctor tells her: “Well, my dear, I am puzzled; the test shows that you are pregnant, but when I examined you, I found that you are still a virgin. I mean, your hymen is not ruptured, except for seven tiny holes, a little more than pinpricks, actually…. by the way, what did you say your name was?”
“My name is Snow White”, replies the girl.
Screenshot
I told my wife I feel old, fat, bald, useless, and stupid.
She said, “Don’t be silly you re not old.”
Nebraska Law
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
And that’s it my friends. My love and blessings to you all.
In June it will be 19 years. That averages to 128 episodes a year … not bad.
ROFLMAO!!!
I just thought of something … harsh!
And now I feel terrible about thinking about it and most especially about laughing about it.
But, really, only about that much…
Okay, so here’s my thought…
Dragon Laffs has lasted significantly longer than my previous marriage did. I know, right? Funny, but still…. moving on to other things.
Two-thousand, four-hundred episodes…I can’t believe it. So, let’s get this extra-special show started, shall we?
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6’tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she’s a weightlifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Okay, you can get there… King James says: casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (My preferred) ESV: casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. The other versions are similar. Cast all your cares, worries, anxieties, doubts and such on God. How do we do that? By prayer. We leave it to God. Why? Because He cares for us. The meme gets there, but it’s kind of a weird translation.
“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. ”
Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 – )
God uses all of us, where we are.
This one is from Joe in NJ and he is correct in how true this is.
The average man’s life consists of –
– Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going;
– Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
– And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
The mourners may wonder, but if you know Jesus as your Savior, then you needn’t wonder.
I always found it counter productive when a teacher would say, ‘Don’t get smart with me”.
I really used to like my psychic, until I threw her a surprise party and it worked
I’m always on the edge of my seat when I’m at the circus. It’s just so in tents
I thought it would be cool to have Velcro shoes, but it turns out they’re a total rip off.
Are people born with a photographic memory or does it take time to develop?
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, you just wait.
The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey. This is a singles bar.”
I’m not saying that I’m a bad driver…but when I drive, my navigation device doesn’t speak, it prays in Latin.
Has anyone else used WD-40 to get rid of mice? It didn’t work for me, but it did stop the squeaking.
I gave my friend an apple, and she told me she preferred pears, so I gave her another apple.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t water proof.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married… I didn’t want him to.
What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?
I was looking forward to going on one of those Viking River Cruises until I found out they don’t actually let you pillage anything.
Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
I was told that after a vasectomy I wouldn’t have kids anymore. But when I got home they were still there…
Okay, this next one is really pretty cool!
I managed a pet store that specialized in sales of tropical fish.
One afternoon shortly after Christmas a lady called with the astonishing report that her fish were drinking too much water. After a brief pause, I asked her how on earth she knew that.
“Well,” she replied, “I noticed that they were gulping all the time and when I woke up this morning I discovered that the aquarium water was half gone.”
I had to put down the phone and laugh for a good minute or two before I could summon the composure to tell her that she needed to check the floor for the water that had leaked out overnight and bring the tank back in for a replacement.
When Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana speaks, I listen. While I’ve often referred to him as “the Will Rogers of Congress,” Bruce Carlton called him “The Will Rogers of our time.”
This collection of his quips is priceless.
Bruce Carlson:
Southerners have a way with words, some better than others. Start the year with some Truthful Humor: Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy . The Will Rogers of our time.
Kennedy graduated Magna cum Laude from Vanderbilt, has a Law degree from the University of Virginia and a degree from Oxford in England . He is no country bumpkin; he is very insightful & a bit humorous.
Comment about Cuomo lecturing us. “It’s like a frog calling you ugly”.
–Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
This election in Ga will be the most important in history. You have nothing to worry about unless you are a taxpayer, parent, gun owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby!
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana describes Democrats as the “well-intended arugula and tofu crowd.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Americans are thinking, there are some good members of Congress but we can’t figure out what they are good for. Others are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth canal.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It’s as dead as four o’clock.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Always follow your heart…..but take your brains with you.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
The short answer is ‘No.’ The long answer is ‘Hell No.’
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It must suck to be that dumb.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
When the Portland mayor’s IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer’s point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Go sell your crazy somewhere else…we are all stocked up here.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Sen. John Kennedy (R., La.) said on Wednesday that he trusted most Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
You can get a goat to climb a tree, but you’d be better off hiring a squirrel.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
1. This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow.
2. Don’t stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when closely supervised and cornered like a rat.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Dumb enough to be a twin of himself.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
This is why space aliens won’t talk to us.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their biscuit.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow chute.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
What planet did you parachute in from?
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Just because you CAN sing doesn’t mean you should.
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
Senator John Kennedy on Nancy Pelosi, “She can strut sitting down!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
THE EVOLUTION POPULATION PROBLEM
Evolutionary scientists believe that man has existed for over a million years, and their belief has overwhelming issues. Using the assumption of 43 years, for the average human generation, the population growth over a million years would produce 23,256 consecutive generations. We calculate the expected population by starting with one couple one million years ago and use the same assumption of 43 year generation and 2.5 children per family. The evolutionary theory of a million years of growth would produce trillions and trillions and trillions of people that should be alive today on our planet. (Taking wars, famine, and natural disasters into account)
To help understand, the number is much greater than the total number of atoms in our expansive universe. Furthermore, if mankind lived on earth for millions of years, we would all be standing on an enormous mountain of bones from trillions of skeletons of those who had died in past generations. However, despite tremendous archaeological and scientific investigation in the last two centuries, scientists have not found a fraction of the trillions of skeletons predicted by the theory of evolutionary scientists. Where are all the bodies?
Funny enough, as Creationists, we have the expected population if the world started with 2 people, 6000 years ago, and then 8 people 4,500 years ago. Yes, it’s true!
Now the follow 0n article…
Billions of People in Thousands of Years?
Creationists are often asked, “How is it possible for the earth’s population to reach billions of people if the world is only about 6,000 years old and if there were just two humans in the beginning?” Here is what a little bit of simple arithmetic shows us.
Simple, conservative arithmetic reveals clear mathematical logic for a young age of the earth.
One Plus One Equals Billions
Let us start in the beginning with one male and one female. Now let us assume that they marry and have children and that their children marry and have children and so on. And let us assume that the population doubles every 150 years. Therefore, after 150 years there will be four people, after another 150 years there will be eight people, after another 150 years there will be sixteen people, and so on. It should be noted that this growth rate is actually very conservative. In reality, even with disease, famines, and natural disasters, the world population currently doubles every 40 years or so.
After 32 doublings, which is only 4,800 years, the world population would have reached almost 8.6 billion. That’s 2 billion more than the current population of 6.5 billion people, which was recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau on March 1, 2006. This simple calculation shows that starting with Adam and Eve and assuming the conservative growth rate previously mentioned, the current population can be reached well within 6,000 years.
Impact of the Flood
We know from the Bible, however, that around 2500 BC (4,500 years ago) the worldwide Flood reduced the world population to eight people.3 But if we assume that the population doubles every 150 years, we see, again, that starting with only Noah and his family in 2500 BC, 4,500 years is more than enough time for the present population to reach 6.5 billion.
From two people, created about 6,000 years ago, and then the eight people, preserved on the Ark about 4,500 years ago, the world’s population could easily have grown to the extent we now see it—over 6.5 billion.
Evolutionists are always telling us that humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. If we did assume that humans have been around for 50,000 years and if we were to use the calculations above, there would have been 332 doublings, and the world’s population would be a staggering figure—a one followed by 100 zeros; that is
This figure is truly unimaginable, for it is billions of times greater than the number of atoms that are in the entire universe! Such a calculation makes nonsense of the claim that humans have been on earth for tens of thousands of years.
Simple, conservative arithmetic reveals clear mathematical logic for a young age of the earth. From two people, created around 6,000 years ago, and then the eight people, preserved on the Ark about 4,500 years ago, the world’s population could have grown to the extent we now see it—over 6.5 billion.
With such a population clearly possible (and probable) in just a few thousand years, we could actually ask the question, “If humans were around millions of years ago, why is the population so small?” This is a question that evolution supporters must answer.
A traveling salesman was driving through the country late one night when his car died.
Seeing a farmhouse nearby, he knocked on the door.
“My car broke down,” the salesman explained to the farmer who answered. “Could I possibly spend the night here?”
“Yes,” said the farmer, “but you’ll have to share a bed with my son.”
“Uh-oh,” the salesman replied, “I must be in the wrong joke.”
I hope you enjoyed this extra-long, extra-special edition of your favorite ezine. It was fun putting it together. Until we meet again, my love to you all.
Okay, I have no idea what day it is. It’s Tuesday for me. That’s Tuesday March 25th. Yeah, THAT Tuesday. Okay, I gotta figure it out. Be right back.
Okay, for you guys, it’s Monday … like two weeks from now. April 7th. So yeah, I’m a bit ahead, but that’s a good thing. Because coming up, real soon, there is going to be another run of days where I’m not going to be able to do this, so it’s good to get ahead and stay ahead. So … yeah … let’s keep doing this.
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby.
Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
“Was it my friend Sam”, he demanded.
“No !” his weeping wife replied.
“Was it my friend Jim then?” he asked.
“NO !!!” she said even more upset.
“Well which one of my no good friends did this then?” he asked.
“Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” she snapped.
The last one is old…but appropriate.
YES! Yes, yes yes!!!!
A very thirsty man goes into a bar.
As he’s sitting down, he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, “I’ll have another waterloo.”
The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink.
Thinking the other man’s drink may be a specialty of the house, he says, “I’ll have a waterloo, too.”
The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink, and the customer takes a big drink.
“Hey,” he says, “this isn’t any good. It tastes just like water!”
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, “Well, it is water.!
Right, Lou?”
Oh, come on! That one’s easy!
I’m SO tired of being cold!
We have a new employee, Jose, at the local Home Depot and has proven to be very knowledgeable and helpful to the sawdust challenged like myself.
Yesterday I needed his guidance after ruining several pieces of wood with my newly purchased belt sander.
A fast trip to the store led to the retro question,
“Can you tell me the way to sand, Jose?”
Pop Smith is gonna try to get me one of these! I can hardly wait!
I have so many questions!
And Bob is brilliant!
That guy is incredible! He looks to be like my age!
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
– T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
As I’ve said SO. MANY. TIMES. BEFORE.
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: “I’d like a mouse mat, please.”
Salesperson: “Certainly sir, we’ve got a large variety.”
Customer: “But will they be compatible with my computer?”
Two guys were out walking their dogs, when one dog wanders off to pee against the wall. Like dogs do, it raised it’s leg and started to do his thing.
The second dog then goes up and starts to go exactly where the other dog did. But instead of raising his leg, he stood up on his hind legs, put both paws on the wall and relieved himself.
One guy says to the other, “Wow, how did you teach him to pee like that?”
The second man replies, “I didn’t teach him. He’s done it ever since the wall fell on him.”
Today is Monday, Mary’s birthday, and I’m just trying to stay busy. So, since I don’t have anything to say right now, let’s just get to the fun stuff.
Sounds to me like you need one of these…
Screenshot
Oklahoma, Wynona Law
You can’t wash your clothes in a birdbath
The class had gone to lunch and the restroom and returned to class.
The teacher did not see Johnnie.
She asked, “Where’s Johnnie?”
One of the students replied, “He’s in the bathroom, lying on the floor.”
She asked, “Why is he doing that?”
The child said, “I don’t know. He’s been like that since he stuck the scissors in the light socket.”
Yup, I agree Joe. That’ll do it.
Please, please, please tell me that you get that one.
Well, don’t tell me, tell me. I just hope there’s no one out there who doesn’t get that one. That would be too much for me to bear.
As an estate agent, I deal with all types of people.
Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room.
But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, “Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it.”
You know … that’s a really good point. Just being you, being blessed by the Holy Spirit, is going to annoy the stuffing out of the demons that reside in SO MANY other people. No wonder there are so many jerks out there.
A group of students was asked to list what they thought were the present Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:
1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids 2. Taj Mahal 3. Grand Canyon 4. Panama Canal 5. Empire State Building 6. St. Peter’s Basilica 7. China’s Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one quiet student hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.”
The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”
The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch 2. to taste 3. to see 4. to hear
She hesitated a little, and then added
5. to feel 6. to laugh! 7. and to love
The room was so full of silence you could have heard a pin drop. Those things we overlook as simple and “ordinary” are truly wondrous.
A gentle reminder that the most precious things are before you: your family, your faith, your love, your good health and your friends.
I gotta say, that is about THE best answer I have ever read.
The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.
“Don’t worry,” the gruff looking fellow said, “I’m in here for a white collar crime too.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” sighed the stockbroker. “I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading. How about you?”
“Oh, nothing fancy like that,” grinned the convict. “I just killed a couple of priests.”
I like that a lot!
Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger’s reservation that showed his name as “Cole, Pheven.”
“I’d like to be certain our information is correct,” I said to him. “What is your first name?”
“It’s Stephen,” he replied. “I hope the reservation agent got it right. I told him it’s spelled with a ph.”
Warning Signs of Inferior Cooking
Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren.
Someone broke a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.
You have some idea what “peas porridge in a pot nine days old” tastes like.
When your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.
Your kids’ favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.
You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.
Your kids get even with neighborhood bullies by inviting them to dinner.
Your spouse refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.
No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns bright purple.
A little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?”
He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.”
“Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
