Dragon Laffs

No one seems to know where this missile came from!  That sure as hell ain’t very fucking comforting!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20101109/od_yblog_upshot/no-one-seems-to-know-where-mysterious-missile-launched-near-la-came-from

More pictures of cute kids!  Always good for a smile!  I hope you got yours!

I live next door to an Arab couple and they have challenged me to a water fight in the back yard.  They have 3 little kids. So, I am writing this to kill time until the water boils.

Alarms over radiation from thyroid cancer patients

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Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr. old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day, he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty old bike with a bent wheel, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – it’s fucking hilarious! So, who EVER said we were politically correct???

New Roller Coasters at Six Flags…

Superman: Escape From Krypton & The Green Lantern

(watch full screen)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS5jyNsKIWQ

Recently, a cross of emails went back and forth between the Leprechaun and myself and I thought you’d enjoy the peek inside the workings of Dragon Laffs:

You failed to read the memos I send out yet AGAIN didn’t you?

The Veterinarian/Taxidermist said you needed more roughage and fiber in your diet.

I have there for directed all the dwarfs to begin wearing hemp or buffalo and yak hide based garments.

All the women you might come in contact with are to cease shaving their pubic areas.

We have begun stocking only long haired dense coat small furry mammals for your “interactive snacking” moods

You REALLY SHOULD RTFM!

Okay!  Okay!  But there’s an awful LOT of memos.

Didn’t you read the Memo (yellow)about the color coding system of the paper used for the Memos?!

I’ll summarize.

White are Mundane, Yellow is for policy/procedural changes, Orange are urgent/extremely important/emergency and the Red ones are from those blood suckers over in Legal.

Gold are financial related, Black are obituary notices…or death threats to you from other department heads or myself.

Fuchsia are from the pansy azzed employee relations dwarves, while Blue are from Human/Inhuman/Fairies Services.

The ones with pastel rainbow background are the bull shit..I mean annoying drivel…I mean pearls of wisdom you generate and green are personal memos from me.

Lastly, the ones on the parchment derived from tanned dragon wing membrane and penned in dragon’s blood are from Mrs. Dragon and exclusively for you.

Like I said you didn’t read THAT memo either?

What to you actually DO with the memos?

Wait I don’t think I want to know

Scarier than you thought?  LOL.

May you live to be

a hundred years,
With one extra year

to repent.

-Irish blessing

(oh yeah, you know who you are!)

WTF?  Sleepy toy?  Pet?

A friend of mine just started his own business, making landmines that look like prayer mats.

It’s doing well.  He says Prophets are going through the roof.

When You’re Holding A Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail

http://www.sendspace.com/file/98g4za

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job!

What if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning..

‘Who’s going to tell?’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

‘Please slow down, your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,

But the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going 205 kph.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,’ All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘who do you have there, the mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘A senator?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The Prime Minister?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘His chauffeur is the Pope!’

Click:

http://wimp.com/niceguy/

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can’t even begin to imagine how their mind is working….Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything…tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an ‘A’ in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.. She went to his room and said, ‘Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?’ Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.. ‘Well, then,’ she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?’

Little Zachary looked at her and said, ‘Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.’